Chapter 39 Everything Means Nothing Without You #2
“Who do you think bought you all those gifts?” he says, depositing her on the bed, pressing a soft kiss to her mouth. “You know what else I remember?” he says, pulling off his shirt, then working his belt.
She leans on her elbows. “What?” She breathes.
Lowering himself to her, he grabs her thighs, pulling her toward the edge.
“I’d rather show you.”
Low California light seeps past the curtains. The alarm sounds and she startles—briefly afraid she imagined last night with Roman, but she’s pleasantly surprised to feel a warm, dormant Roman against her back. His arm drapes across her stomach and it feels so good.
She feels good, and warm, and okay.
Her arm snaps out to turn it off, but he’s already moving.
“Sorry,” she whispers, dropping back to the bed against his chest.
“S’okay. You have work?” he says, his voice low and sleep-filled.
She sighs, pressing further against him. “I usually go to the gym, but I don’t want to.”
He drags her closer, his fingers splaying against her abdomen as he presses a soft kiss to the back of her head.
“I don’t want to go to work either,” she says softly.
“I just want to stay here in bed with you.” He laughs into her hair, flexing his fingers against her, lowering them slightly.
His touch is light as he skims back and forth in a gentle motion.
His other hand moves to push the braids that escaped her wrap to the side to expose her neck.
He shifts, brushing his mouth down the length of her throat.
“Go to work, baby. I’ll be here,” he murmurs, grazing the shell of her ear. She sighs, her stomach dipping as he drags his hand lower. He presses two soft kisses to her neck, then the shell of her ear again. “Pretend I’m not even here.”
“That’s impossible,” she says as he slides his hand beyond the elastic of her shorts. “You’re all I think about most days.”
His teeth move to her earlobe and bite gently, before moving to track down her neck.
“Most days?”
She sighs heavily. “All the time, actually. Every day for the past few months, Roman.” The motion of his hand on her stomach stops, and she turns in the bed to face him. “I’m so sorry about everything. The things I said to you,” she whispers. “The way I left.”
He shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have pushed you. I understand why you did it.”
“But—”
He presses a soft kiss to her lips. “Stop dwelling in the past. It’s okay. We’re okay.”
“Roman,” she murmurs when he pulls her back into his chest. “What are we going to do? How is this going to work?” she asks, looking up at him.
“I don’t know. We’ll figure it out together,” he says, pressing a kiss to her nose. “We’ll make it work, okay?”
She nods, but her mind still spins. It leaps. It tumbles.
It spirals.
But he’s there, drawing her further into his chest as he rubs small circles against her back. “Relax, baby. Don’t think so hard about it.”
She pulls back, leaning on her elbow to stare down at him. “Roman, how long do I get to keep you?”
He laughs, reaching forward to pull her silk wrap from her head, pressing a steady stream of kisses down her chest. “Forever?”
She pulls back to look at him, sending him a pointed stare. “That’s not what I mean.”
“What do you mean?” he says, rubbing across her arms.
“When do you have to leave?” she asks, inhaling sharply. “I’m just trying to prepare myself.”
He sighs, placing his forehead on her shoulder before rolling to his back. Jahlani taps his arm, watching as he scratches his eyebrow.
“Roman?”
He sighs, throwing his arm across his face. “The day after tomorrow.”
So soon.
She tilts her head. “Like the movie?”
He cuts his eyes at her, and she falls back to the bed, laughing deeply. They lay next to each other, breathing, a light thrumming in her chest, head, fingers, toes.
Her lips twist as she continues to stare at the ceiling, listening to them both share the same space.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he says, now rolling on his side to face her.
“That’s soon,” she whispers immediately, no longer feeling the need to hide anything. “Sooner than I expected.”
She turns to lie on her side, reaching out to trace his eyebrows, nose, jaw, lips, repeating the motion. Memorizing him.
“I know,” he says, pressing a kiss to the tips of her fingers when she brushes over his mouth again. “I know.”
She draws in a ragged breath. “What are we going to do?”
“We’re going to come up with a plan to see each other as much as possible and we’re not going to stress about it, okay?
We’re going to enjoy the time we have with each other right now,” he says, drawing her to his side.
“So, if you don’t mind,” he says, climbing over her, “there’s something I’ve been meaning to do. ”
His weight lands on her and he’s warm, and large, and perfect.
“So,” she pants when his hand slides down to graze her over her shorts. Her hand flies to his roots when his tongue finds her neck and massages in sweeping circles. “Can I call out? Please—don’t make me go.”
He laughs into her side, pulling the skin of her neck with his teeth before sucking gently. “When have I ever made you do anything, huh? You’re too stubborn,” he murmurs, running his fingers over her faster.
“Roman,” she sighs. He groans into her neck, pushing his hips against her, and then he’s saying how much he missed her as he generously swipes, finding a rhythm that has her gasping and pulling his hair as she breaks.
When she can breathe again, he pushes her onto her stomach, working her shorts down over her thighs, and then his own, and then his weight is pressing down on her at a torturous pace, his hands tangling with her own to force them above her head.
“Despite what you think, Jahlani,” he says, his hips driving impossibly slower, “I’ll never get tired of this. I’ll never get tired of you.”
“Roman.”
“This is everything,” he says, his hips moving harder. And it’s not long before she’s unraveling, her fists clenching as she ignites, her moans muffled into the pillow.
“Shit. Jahlani,” he groans, tensing above her. “Shit.” His forehead drops against her back as he breathes heavily. He drops several open- mouthed kisses to her back before he moves to her side, pulling her close again.
Jahlani shuts her eyes, her body still trembling as she soaks in his presence next to her. And then, after almost drifting asleep again, she tells him she really does need to go to work and gets up, feeling lighter than she has in months.