Epilogue
It doesn’t come easy for Jahlani. The distance.
More often than she’d like, they go days without speaking, their schedules not aligning, him missing her phone calls, her being stuck in an important meeting.
Every few weeks, when they finally get a hold of each other, she tries to end it.
It’s ridiculous, honestly. Most attempts are futile—he ignores the comment or changes the subject.
And every day, she loves him even more for it.
“No.”
“No?”
“Roman.”
“Jahlani.”
She props the phone against her toaster and folds her arms.
“It’s too complicated. Lucy is still in and out of the hospital, the time zones are ridiculous. We barely see each other,” she says to his pixelated face.
He yawns, stretches, then nods. “We’re doing this again?”
Jahlani scoffs, raising her hands, her mouth twisting.
“You’ll find someone better than me. Someone who can meet you halfway—”
“Okay. So we’re doing this again.” Roman shakes his head, setting his phone down in front of him. She can see Lucy, the painting she bought for his bedroom hanging in the background. “I don’t care if you meet me a quarter of the way. I’ll be there. Also—you look beautiful.”
Jahlani throws her head back in frustration, blinking at him through the phone. “What if you start to resent me—”
“I love you.”
“What if I start to resent you—” She begins pacing in front of the camera, waving her hands.
“You’re in love with me too.”
“What if the distance is too much and you need it then and there?”
At this, he laughs. “You’re the only one that I want it then and there with,” he says, shaking his head. “Did you eat today, baby?”
She stops in front of the phone, her hands on her hips. “Roman, I don’t want to argue with you about this.”
He shrugs. “Fine.”
“Fine,” she says, and ends the call with enough force to topple the phone onto its side. The delicate drip of the tap gets to her, and she lasts all of three minutes before she redials his number.
“Fuck, I hated that. Let’s never do that again.”
He laughs. “Okay.”
Her flight lands early the next morning, and before she can even knock, his front door swings open. She isn’t sure who grabs who first. All she knows is the lightness of being pulled into the arms of the person she can’t breathe without.
“You’re here,” he says, pressing her against the door. His mouth lands on hers to push and pull. Twist and turn. His fingers cage her jaw, and his hand cradles the back of her head as he orchestrates their movements.
“Lucy,” she says through a gasp when he slips his fingers over the front of her jeans, the pop of the button echoing down the hallway, the catch of the zipper making her head spin with what’s about to happen.
“With Mom,” he says, pulling back to tug his shirt over his head. “Until tomorrow.”
Her hands splay against his chest, gliding up to his neck as she pulls him back down.
His hands land on the door above her head as she opens her mouth to meet her tongue with his.
She captures his top lip with her teeth, biting gently before pulling back to duck under his arms, earning a delicate groan from him.
“Great,” she says, lifting her shirt as she walks backward. “No more talking. I waited two months for this.”
“Are you all plotting against me? What is this?” Roman asks, his voice carrying.
Jahlani shrugs, avoiding his eyes as she looks over at Danica, Teryn, and Taylor, all sitting around his dining room table.
“You all blocked my roads like assholes,” he hisses, dropping his cards to the table, giving them a pointed look.
“Don’t be mad, we’re just teasing the birthday boy,” calls Danica.
“Whatever,” he says, pushing from the table.
Jahlani watches as he storms off, laughing behind her hand with Lucy in her lap.
“Uh-oh, I think we upset Daddy. Let me go check on him,” she says, lifting Lucy off her lap and to the floor. Down the hall, she leans in his doorway, watching him mutter and curse.
“Don’t be mad,” she says, and his eyes flick to hers. “It was my idea. I know how competitive you get.”
He doesn’t say anything, and she sighs, glancing into the hallway before shutting the door and turning the lock. She’s already halfway to him when he notices, and she looks up at him through dark eyelashes before slowly lowering to her knees.
“Jahlani—”
“Shh, I’m making it up to you,” she says, unzipping his front. He grabs her wrist, shaking his head.
“But … everyone’s in the room right there,” he says through harsh breaths when she shakes off his hand and works his jeans down his thighs.
“I’ll be quick … and you be quiet,” she says, licking him slowly.
She watches his eyes drift shut, and it’s not long before he gives in, his body shuddering, his breath coming out in bursts, her name a soft chant. When his eyes open, he helps her stand and kisses her hard before pulling back.
“Fuck,” he says. “Please, just ma—”
Her eyes widen and she slaps her hand over his mouth shaking her head.
“Do not even think about asking me that after I just did that.”
He grumbles, pushing her wrist away to kiss down her neck. “Okay, okay, but soon, yeah?”
Jahlani sighs softly. “Soon.”
Jahlani wakes to the sound of her phone ringing. She answers, blinking sleep from her eyes.
“Take a look at that,” Roman says, his voice filling her quiet apartment. She gives the screen a bleary-eyed squint.
“What’s this?” she asks through a yawn, her voice thick.
“You tell me,” he says, unable to hold back his smile. She stretches her arms over her head before looking back at the screen more closely.
“Two plane tickets to … Los Angeles.”
“For?” he presses, raising his eyebrows.
She squints again. “Roman Hayes and Luc—oh my God. When did they clear her for travel?”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “This morning. Why are you crying?”
She covers her face with her hands, wiping her cheeks.
“These are happy tears.”
They lie parallel under his sheets. She watches his chest rise and fall evenly, tracing small, delicate patterns across the length of his arm.
“Roman,” she whispers, sitting up to rest on her elbow, the covers falling from over them, exposing the mess they made a few hours ago.
The room is dipped in darkness, the curtains drawn, shielding them from having to return to the outside world.
The reality in which she only gets to wake up in his arms sparingly.
She hates it.
“Hmm.”
His eyes remain closed, and she lowers back down so that her head rests on her arm.
“I don’t want to leave you anymore,” she says in a hushed tone. Her stomach dips at her confession, the weight of her words slicing through her.
His eyes fly open, and he lets out a soft laugh, drawing her to his chest. “Oh, well. Thank God,” he says, his voice muffled by her hair. “Here I thought we were holding pretty steady. Guess I was mistaken.”
Jahlani pulls back to look at him, shaking her head softly.
“That’s not what I mean.”
“What do you mean?” he murmurs against her cheek, dropping a swift kiss to it. She inhales sharply, her body molding into his warmth, like a flower bends to light.
“They’re opening a new branch,” she sighs, threading her fingers into his hair.
“And they want to hire internally. It’s been more than six months, and the salary is double what I make now, and I …
” She loses her train of thought when his mouth travels to her neck next and spends a deliberate amount of time there with his teeth and tongue.
“Ro,” she breathes. “You’re not listening to me. ”
She pulls at his roots, drawing his eyes to hers and he looks at her, his forehead bending as he frowns.
“I’m always listening to you.”
Jahlani rolls her eyes and attempts to push him away, but he tightens his grip on her.
He nods and presses a kiss to her other cheek. “Go for it. It sounds incredible.”
She nods, swallowing. “It is. Incredible.”
He tangles his hand against the back of her neck, pulling it back to press an open-mouthed kiss to the column of her throat.
“When’s the interview?” he asks.
Her nails press into his arm when his mouth sucks.
“It’s … um,” she says slowly, sliding her thigh over his, pressing closer. “It’s February first.”
Roman pulls back, staring down at her. “Jahlani—that was two weeks ago.”
Her eyes blink open. “What was two weeks ago?”
He tuts, sliding his hand up her thigh. “Focus, love—new building. Potential promotion,” he says, dropping soft kisses across her nose, forehead, and chin.
“Oh. Right. I got it. I got the job,” she breathes. “I start next week.”
He pulls back, staring down at her. “Shit, that’s amazing.” He grabs her face, pressing a firm kiss to her mouth. “You’re incredible. Are you excited?”
She nods, rising to her elbows. “That’s not the best part,” she says, biting her lower lip.
“What is it?” he says, smoothing his hand over her stomach.
She inhales. “The new building. It’s in Florida. Near you. Near Lucy.”
His lips part and his eyes widen a fraction. “What?”
She laughs and pats his hand. “No more potential life-threatening earthquakes for you, my friend. From here on out, it’s strictly hurricanes. What do you think?”
He runs a hand through his hair before falling back onto the pillow. For a while, he doesn’t say anything. He stares at the ceiling, blinking, and for a second, Jahlani wonders if she’s made a mistake.
“Stop it,” he says, eyes fixed on the ceiling. Her eyes bounce to his.
“Stop what?”
“Stop assuming I’m thinking something bad.”
Jahlani exhales, falling back onto the bed next to him. She shrugs, before turning to lie on her side again, facing him. “Well, you didn’t say anything, so I just—”
“Assumed the worst, per usual.” His eyes flick to hers. She shrugs again, and they fall into silence.
He sighs, rubbing his hands down his face. “I’m not thinking anything bad. I’m overwhelmed, Jahlani.”
“Overwhelmed?” she says slowly. “In a good way?”
He turns to her, resting his hand on her hip.
“In the best fucking way, Jahlani. I’m so in love with you, it scares me.
I want to be sure we’re on the same page, because I don’t see myself with anyone but you.
I want to marry you. I want more kids with you.
I want a home with you. I want you, all the time, 24/7, and I’m scared that one day you’ll wake up, and not want me. ”
Jahlani sits up, and he does the same. Reaching forward, she slides her palm into his, looking at him.
“There’s nothing that I want more than to be with you and Lucy.”
“Yeah?” He asks, his eyes bright.
“Yeah. I mean. Somebody wants us together, right?” she says, nudging her shoulder with his. “Otherwise, how do you explain us meeting twice that day in the grocery store?”
He laughs, throwing his head back before leaning toward her, his next words spoken against her lips. “I don’t know. Some lady told me it’s math and probability. That there’s no such thing as fate.”
“Well,” she says, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, “tell her she’s wrong—and it’s stupid to believe otherwise.”
And then he’s pushing her into the mattress, and she’s laughing into his mouth. And they’re holding each other with only thoughts of them living happily together.
Always.