Chapter 19 #3
“Okay, then tell me what’s going on.” His brow furrows, and a flash of anger flares in his eyes. “Did someone hurt you?”
Hurt me? God, I’m making this so much worse. “No, it’s nothing like that. I’ve just …” I bury my head in my hands, mumbling the rest. “I’ve never been able to … finish … with another person before.” With a deep breath, I bring my hands down, pressing them into my lap.
His brows draw together, then he exhales a soft breath, understanding taking over his features. “Can you finish when you’re by yourself?”
A hot blush sweeps up my chest, and I let out a shy laugh. “Uh, yeah.”
He grins, taking my hand in his. “That’s good. Maybe it’s just about letting your guard down.”
My guard? Does he mean the thirty-two years of deep-seated shame that has been hardwired into me since birth?
He tilts down, capturing my lips in a soft kiss, then presses scorching kisses down the side of my neck. “Can you let your guard down with me, June?” The words coupled with his sizzling tongue send a bolt of electricity straight to my core.
God, yes. It’s all I want. To surrender to him, to let him make me feel good.
I tried with Kevin. Drew. Even fucking Jason.
But the truth is, I’ve never been able to shake the eternal hold the shame has on me.
No matter how much I’ve tried to convince myself I’m over it, it’s always there. Like a permanent stain.
Until now.
With Alex, I don’t feel like I’m breaking any rules. I don’t feel the crushing guilt. Or anxiety. All I feel is exhilaration. Desire. Insatiable hunger.
I lean up, grasping the nape of his neck and pulling his mouth to mine.
There is not a single cell in my body that doesn’t want this man, and I am going to make damn sure he knows it.
I slide my legs around his waist, driving his hips into mine, grinding against him.
Fuck, Alex is hard for me. It sends a new thrill rushing through me, and I lace my fingers in his hair, grinding harder.
He grunts, deepening the kiss, matching my urgency, rocking his hips back against mine.
His hands slide under my ass, and cool air fans me as he lifts me off the table. I gasp, clinging to his shoulders, wrapping my legs tighter around him.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” He tightens his grip, his large hands kneading my bottom as he strides to his bedroom. Gently, he lays me on his soft, white duvet. The cool fabric sends a chill through me, and I immediately miss his body heat.
But I know exactly how to get it back.
I fling my T-shirt to the side and give him a come-hither finger.
Ravenously, he rakes his gaze over me, making my skin turn to fire.
His eyes are dark black pools surrounded by thin bands of gold and emerald.
He kneels again, this time on his bedroom carpet, and glides his warm palm up my torso to cup my breast. “Does it feel good for you even if you don’t come? ”
My eyes close, my head spinning. “It always feels good,” I tell him. But it’s never felt this good. With Alex’s hands on me. “Sometimes, it feels like a roller coaster that just keeps climbing, but I can’t seem to get to the crest.” I bite my lip, leaning into his touch. “Or the freefall.”
He hums in understanding, then leans closer, taking my nipple into his mouth. His hot tongue skates along the sensitive flesh as he reaches up to caress my other breast. Fuck he’s good with his hands. And his mouth. But I need more.
God, I need more.
I thrust underneath him, searching for friction.
A low rumble vibrates in his chest as he presses a kiss to the space between my breasts, then says, “We’re not going to rush.
” An involuntary whine leaves my throat, and his reply is a sultry laugh near my navel.
“Don’t worry, June,” he mumbles, kissing a trail down my abdomen. “I’m going to take care of you.”
A surge of warmth floods my insides. No one has ever uttered a sentiment anywhere close to that before. His hands flex, gripping my thighs as he sails lower, dragging his chin, his lips, his nose down my center, where I’m embarrassingly wet and needy. Which means my arousal is all over his—
“Fuck …” He inhales long and deep. It’s so primal it makes my breath hitch.
His fingers bite into my thighs and he pulls me closer, then drags his tongue over my entrance in a long, slow slide.
I shudder against him, and he tilts his head up, meeting my gaze.
His pupils are blown, his skin flushed, his lips wet with … me. “You taste so fucking good.”
This is the single hottest moment of my life.
I want to tell him, but before I can utter a word, his head dips back down, his tongue tracing an indulgent, lazy path.
My vision blurs at the edges, and I dig my fingers into his hair, squeezing, drawing him closer.
He groans, the sound vibrating against my center, making me cry out.
It’s clear he meant what he said, he’s in absolutely no rush.
Maybe this is the difference—he’s not in a hurry. He’s not trying to get to the finish line as fast as possible or rush me along. He’s moseying. Hell, he’s stopping to smell the roses along the way.
His hands skim up my waist back to my breasts, and I moan, arching into him.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the unrivaled pleasure of Alex touching me.
Having his hands on me. Claiming me. His tongue swirls around in teasing flicks, long, hard strokes, and everything in between.
It’s like he’s studying my response to each movement, gauging what I like the most. And, fuck, they all feel so good.
He goes on and on, like he’s enjoying it as much as I am.
His hands slide back down my waist, nails skating over my skin, driving me closer and closer to the brink.
Closer, but still not enough. I need more.
As if he can read my thoughts, he spreads my thighs wider. Then he licks lower, dipping his tongue inside me. White hot pleasure flashes behind my eyelids, and my hips lift off the bed.
What was that?
His gratified mmm reverberates against me, and I can feel his smile. He tugs me closer, flush against his mouth. His lips and tongue deliver an unmatched crescendo, each swipe driving me higher and higher and—
Oh, god. I’m reaching the top of the roller coaster. I’m—
A sob catches in my throat at the realization. Alex. I try to tell him. To signal to him that this is it, but I can barely get a breath out, let alone his name. He gives my thigh a gentle squeeze, as if he knows.
And then, his hand finds mine, lacing my fingers with his. The intimacy sends a superior shockwave rolling through me. My thighs clench against his cheeks, and my reward is his deep groan, pulsating inside me, pushing me over the edge … oh god, oh god. Yes. Yes.
A strangled gasp breaks free as I fall. Wave after wave pours over me as I tremble around him, unearthly sounds leaving my throat. He holds on tight, one hand still intertwined with mine, the other grasping my thigh in a tender hold.
It goes on and on, the pleasure coiling through me again and again until I’m properly wrung out, spent and listless on the bed.