Chapter 21 #2
If I thought Gram was pouting before, I had no idea how much harder she could scowl.
“Come on,” the nurse coaxes. “I’ll take you to get some ice cream after.” She lifts the tablet to the side of her face, then mouths the words, “Sugar free” to Mom.
Gram’s lips twist as she mulls it over. “Fine.”
Mom and I help the nurse get Gram out of the bed, and she shuffles her away.
After she’s out of sight, Charlie peeks at his watch and says, “I need to take off, too.”
“You’re leaving?” Mom brings a hand to her chest. “But you just got here.”
Charlie looks everywhere but at her eyes.
“I’ll be back tomorrow.” Before he can slip out of the room, she clutches his arms and pulls him into a tight hug.
He looks at me over her shoulder and mouths the words, “Help me.” After all these years, my brother can still manage to make me laugh.
A few moments later, he breaks free and nods at me. “Good seeing you, June bug.”
“Do you want to grab dinner before you head back to Chicago?”
His mouth opens as if he’s about to turn me down, but then he nods. “Yeah. Dinner would be nice.” With a smirk, he adds, “I’ve really been craving pickles.”
“Ugh, Charlie,” I groan, giving him a playful shove.
“Just kidding, I’ll be nice,” he says genuinely. “I’ve grown up a lot since we last saw each other.”
I’m dying to ask him about Alex—what happened between them, what Alex meant when he said I was nothing like my brother. But before I get the chance, Charlie slips through the door.
After he departs, it’s just me and Mom left. I dig my nails into my palms. I hate being alone with her. The past year, Gram has always been a buffer when we’re together, but she’s gone now, too.
“Alex couldn’t join you today?” she asks.
“No, he had class.”
She quirks her lips, and I hold my breath, waiting for the jab I know she’s about to throw. But to my utter shock, she says, “I really like him.”
My brow furrows. “You … you do?” I know she technically hasn’t connected the dots that he’s Alex Cardoso, but the last time we were together, he wasn’t very cordial to her.
But she nods, squeezing my hand. “I know I don’t say it enough, but I’m really proud of you.”
I eye her skeptically. “You’re proud of me … because of Alex?”
She huffs a laugh. “No. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you found him. But I’m proud of you for all you’ve accomplished.” She leans against the counter that houses the sink. “I don’t know if you know this, but I never finished college.”
Of course I know. She’s never valued education. According to her, I’ve been wasting my prime baby-making years with my nose in my books.
I shrug, and Mom sighs, no longer looking at me, but past me.
“I met your father my first semester at Barrett. He was a senior. Smart, charming. He swept me off my feet.” She blushes, clearing her throat.
“He graduated the following May, and a month later, we were married. It wasn’t long before I was pregnant with Charlie, and after I had him, I just couldn’t keep up. ”
A pang of sadness squeezes in my chest. She’s never told me any of this. I just assumed it was her dream to be a homemaker. I stare at her familiar features, but it’s like seeing a whole new person. “You mean you wanted to keep going?”
“Of course.” She laughs. “I always wanted to go back, but once I had you, my priorities shifted.” She tucks some loose hair behind my ear. “And look at you. Not only did you finish, but you kept going back, again and again. I know that couldn’t have been easy.”
I swallow past the surge of emotion building in my throat. My mom sees me.
“You’re such an expert in your field that they assigned you to mentor someone,” she says with awe in her voice.
I can’t stop the smile that spreads all the way up to my eyes. It’s true. Dr. Padilla said so herself. I have the highest ratings in the whole department.
“And what a noble profession,” she continues. “Being able to heal someone with food. The Nutrition Department is so lucky to have you.”
My breath falters. She almost sees me.
But her genuine pride is so unexpected it barely matters. I’ve been dreaming of this moment my whole life.
She squeezes my upper arms, softness in her eyes. “Most of all, I’m proud that you’re my daughter.”
“Mom.” Pinpricks of tears sting my eyes. My mother has never even hinted that she’s been proud of me. Ever.
“Oh, honey.” She pulls me into a hug. A genuine, motherly hug. One I’ve always longed for.
“I know I’ve put a lot of pressure on you …
” She steps back, wiping at her own tears.
“Back when you were growing up, and now. That I’ve been pushing you to settle down, but I promise, it’s only because I didn’t want to see you end up alone.
” I’m about to protest, but then she says, “And I can’t tell you how pleased I am that you found someone who makes you happy.
I see how much he cares for you. The way he looks at you. ”
My heart swells. I see it, too. Not only that, but I feel it.
My thoughts drift back to the morning. How gentle and attentive he was.
The way he took care of me. But it’s been more than that.
He’s been here for me this whole semester.
Helping me plan Sextival. Driving me all the way to San Diego to get that condom dress. Taking me to meet my idol.
“I’m in love with him.”
I gasp, covering my mouth. Like. I meant to say like. I really like him.
But as unintentional as the words were, I can’t deny them.
I am blissfully, thoroughly, head-over-fucking-heels in love with Alex Cardoso.
Mom’s eyes dance with mine. “He feels it, too.”
A hot blush sweeps up my chest. I shake my head. He couldn’t possibly.
“Trust me,” she says. “A mother always knows.”
I grin, resisting the urge to say, Oh, Mother, bless your heart. Because unbeknownst to her, there is a plethora of things she doesn’t know. And despite our unprecedented emotional breakthrough, I intend to keep it that way.
But secretly, in the deepest recesses of my heart, I hope she’s right.