Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
THANK GOD I DIDN’T HAVE any afternoon classes today. For the past four hours, I’ve been hunkered on my couch, cocooned in a blanket, elbow deep in a half gallon of chocolate brownie ice cream.
Alex hasn’t even tried to contact me. Not that I’d take his call if he did. But it just proves that while I was all in, he was only dipping his pinkie toe. Because he knew he wasn’t sticking around.
A dollop of melted fudge drips off my spoon and onto my tattered gray sweatpants.
Fucking great. I dab the splotch with a used tissue, one of the hundreds lying around me soaked with my fuck you, Alex tears.
It does nothing but embed the chocolate further into the fabric.
I toss the Kleenex aside. It doesn’t even matter.
It’s not like I was going to wear these to the Met Gala.
Three knocks sound at my door, and I bolt up like a jack-in-the-box. Oh, god. Alex is here. He actually came. And I look like I got dragged behind a bus for ten blocks.
It doesn’t matter. Because I don’t want to see him. Especially not after it took him four hours to finally grace me with his presence. He might as well take a red-eye to Atlanta tonight because I’m done.
“Go away, Alex.” I shove the spoon back into the ice cream and take a colossal bite. A small part of me expects him to grovel. So I eagerly await his reply, chomping on the frozen glob in my mouth, simultaneously hurting my teeth and getting brain freeze.
“It’s Charlie.”
Charlie? Fuck. I throw my head back over the couch and nearly choke on the ice cream. I forgot about him again.
“I … You okay?” he calls.
A deranged laugh tumbles out of me. “Fucking peachy.” Melted chocolate dribbles down my chin with the reply, and I swipe my sleeve across my mouth. Might as well let him in. Making myself presentable is a lost cause at this point. It would take an entire team. More like a pit crew.
I twist the lock, but before I turn the knob, I mutter a pitiful, “Don’t judge me, okay?”
“Okay …?” he says warily.
With a resigned breath, I open the door.
His eyebrows lift in surprise as he scans me from puffy eyes to disheveled clothes. “Not judging,” he says quickly. Then his eyes soften. “What happened?”
My eyes puddle with a new wave of tears, and I rub them away. “It’s a long story.”
“Then it’s a good thing I don’t have to board a plane for twelve hours.” He slides his hands in his pockets and shrugs.
I heave a long sigh and head back to the couch to collect the mass of tissues from the cushions.
He eyes the half-eaten tub of ice cream. “Does this have anything to do with your new man?”
I nod sadly as I dump the Kleenex in the trash and wash my hands.
He brings the melty carton to the kitchen. “What happened?”
“Not much.” I shrug, stuffing the container of Chocolate Fudge Brownie back into the freezer. “He just accepted a job across the country without telling me. Oh yeah, and he’s starting next week.”
“Ouch.” He leans against the counter. “They didn’t have any nutritionist jobs here?”
I roll my eyes. “He’s not a nutritionist, Charlie.”
His brow creases in confusion. “But I thought you were mentoring him.”
My grip tightens on the handle of the freezer. “I’m not a nutritionist, either.”
He flinches. “Wait, what?” His face contorts as if he’s trying to ask me five questions at once. “What do you do?”
I yank open the fridge and offer him a beer. He takes it and I grab a second for myself, then head back to the couch and plop down. “I teach sex.”
His face slackens. “Like … people pay you to—”
“No, you oaf. I’m not a sex worker. I’m a human sexuality professor.”
“Oh.” He shakes his head, as if he’s trying to recalibrate his brain. “So this whole time …”
I clink my bottle against his. “Surprise.”
“I can’t believe how different you are. This whole time, I thought you were still that naive girl you were in high school.” He lowers his voice. “I actually thought you might still be a virgin.”
A proper laugh spills out of me. “Not since college.”
“Do Mom and Dad know?”
“That I’m not a virgin?”
“No.” He gives me a hefty dose of side-eye. “That you teach …” He lifts his eyebrows.
Oh my god. My brother can’t even say it.
“That I teach sex?” I say slyly, and his features contort in disgust. I kick my feet up on the coffee table and take a swig of my beer. “They do now.”
“What does that mean … now?” He leans forward, resting his forearms on his thighs, the green bottle dangling between his knees.
“I take it you haven’t talked to Mom?” I set my beer down and chew my thumbnail.
He grimaces. “She thinks I went back to Chicago two days ago. Work emergency,” he says with air quotes.
“Charlie!” I laugh.
“Wait, it gets worse. She insisted on driving me to the airport. I think she was trying to call my bluff.” My mouth falls open, and he nods. “I’m not kidding, Juno, I was ready to buy a fake ticket and everything.”
“So what—you just walked into LAX with your luggage, and after she left, you Ubered back to your hotel?”
He grins. “Technically, it was an Airbnb.”
“Charlie!” I swat his chest. “I can’t believe you.”
“I know, I’m a terrible son. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Four days with her was my limit.”
I pull my legs under me, sitting cross-legged on the couch. “So what have you been doing? Sightseeing?”
He shrugs. “Honestly? This is the first break I’ve had in almost a year. Things have been crazy at the firm. I sort of used this as an excuse to take a little vacay.” He turns to face me, lounging farther into the couch. “I went to the Santa Monica Pier. The Observatory. The Getty.”
“Wow, you’ve been busy.” I nudge him with my foot. “You didn’t want to bring Michelle?”
“Hell, no.” He laughs. “There was no way I was unleashing Mom on her.”
I can’t blame him even though I’m dying to meet her. I know they’ve been dating a while, but I’ve only seen snippets of her on social media, and he rarely posts. Her account is set to private.
He rubs the back of his neck. “Not gonna lie, she asked to come with me. She wants to meet Mom. To meet everyone.”
“I’d really love to meet her, too, Charlie. How long have you been together now?”
“Three years. Just moved in together two months ago.” It’s like he has a whole secret life. He pulls out his phone and swipes the screen, then hands it to me.
Charlie is sitting on the snowy front steps of a brownstone with his arm around a pretty brunette. They’re snuggled together, cheeks and noses reddened from the cold. Between them is a scruffy gray-and-white sheepdog.
A tightness squeezes in my chest. They’re a real family. I’m so envious of what they have, it takes my breath away.
“Are you going to get married?” I run my hand down my face. I can’t believe I just asked him that. I’m as bad as my mother.
“Et tu, Juno?” He rolls his eyes dramatically before stuffing his phone back into his pocket. “I figured you of all people wouldn’t care about that.”
I pick at a loose thread on my sparkly throw pillow. “I never used to. It was the last thing on my mind.”
But so much has changed the last few months. And just when I thought things were falling into place with Alex, they were ripped away from me.
“Feels like there’s a but coming.” He eyes me knowingly.
“I’ve had relationships before, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone except him.” I draw my knees into my chest.
“Must have been serious.”
I blow out a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “It’s Alex, Charlie.”
He stares blankly, then his eyes widen with recognition. “Cardoso?”
I nod, tightening my arms around my legs. “We reconnected this semester. He did his PhD at Barrett and had to cover a class he’s never taught before, so I had to mentor him.”
“Wow. I haven’t seen him since high school. Since—” Charlie stops abruptly, his face paling.
A pit drops in my stomach. Whatever happened between them, it’s not good. “Since what?”
He blinks, panic lacing his features.
“Charlie?”
He scrubs his hand over his face and stays like that for a few moments. Not talking, just sitting there with his head in his hand.
Finally, he says, “I wish I could take it back.”
Dread washes over me. “Take what back?”
“Mom saw the way Alex was looking at you. She could tell he liked you.”
My heart beats a riot in my chest. I bite my lip, pleading for him to continue.
“She told me to make sure nothing happened. I don’t know why I went along with it. Probably because deep down I wanted her approval, too.”
My insides churn as bile creeps up my throat. “What did you say?”
He hesitates another moment, and I’m ready to shake the words out of him. “He wanted to take you to the prom.”
My breath escapes in a sad huff. When I was a sophomore, it was my dream to go to Alex’s senior prom with him.
I even found the perfect hunter green dress to match his eyes.
I had been saving my babysitting money for months to buy it, just in case.
But prom came and went, and he never asked me.
He ended up going with another senior from his class.
If I’d known he’d wanted to ask me, maybe I could have asked him. Maybe I could have—
“I told him that you’d never go for someone like him.” Charlie’s voice yanks me out of my thoughts. “That you liked nice things. Designer clothes. Flashy cars.”
“Charlie, what the fuck?” The room spins around me, and I sway on the couch. How could he have said that? I’ve never given a fuck about money. Or status. Or designer anything. “How could you? None of that was true!” My entire body quivers as I helplessly search his eyes.
“I know,” he says somberly. “I’m so sorry.”
I brace my hands on my knees, trying to steady myself. This entire time, Alex thought I was some materialistic highbrow asshole. No wonder he made that comment about my parents writing a check to the university.
“Do you know how much your little lie cost me, Charlie? You changed the trajectory of my entire life! Mom was one thing, but you?” My lip trembles. “I thought you were on my side. That no matter what Mom said, I could always count on you.” He opens his mouth, but I point to the door. “Leave. Now.”
He shrivels in on himself. “June, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Good. You should be.” I march to the door and throw it open. “Now get out.”
He runs his hand through his hair, staring at me like a helpless, crestfallen puppy.
But I have no sympathy for him. This is all his fault.
And as much as Alex hurt me, it’s nothing compared to the devastation I feel now.
Because my brother not only told Alex he wasn’t enough, but that I felt that way, too.
After another beat, Charlie ambles out the door, and I slam it behind him. I can’t dwell on this right now, though. I need to see Alex. I’m about to grab my keys when I catch a glimpse of my raggedy sweats.
With a frustrated growl, I storm to the bathroom and turn on the shower.
Twenty minutes later, I emerge a new woman, scrubbed and thoroughly cleaned. I head back to the living room, now in fitted jeans and a red V-neck. I even added a touch of red lipstick.
I rummage through the mess of mail and graded assignments on the glass dining table, desperately searching for my keys, which seem to have evaporated into thin air. Where are they?
A few furious minutes later, I finally find them wedged between the couch cushions. But before I can jet out, Charlie is back, knocking on my door.
I don’t have time for more of his bullshit. I need to see Alex.
With wrath in my veins, I twist the knob. “What the hell do you—”
My breath is knocked out when I come face-to-face with Alex, looking just as disheveled as I did twenty minutes ago.