Chapter 9
—DEVYN
Two weeks had passed since I’d seen Azani face-to-face. I allowed text messages and the occasional FaceTime, but that was it. I stood firm on my boundaries. Long phone calls were the most I could give right now.
Toni Braxton’s voice floated through my AirPods as I stood in my closet, reorganizing everything I’d neglected. I’d just gotten back from Denver last night after a work conference, and my space showed it.
Even though I was jet-lagged, I reminded myself that contract work suited me better anyway—more money and more freedom. My music cut off mid-chorus, and my phone rang. I glanced at my phone. It was Azani calling. I leaned over and answered.
“Hey, baby,” he said, sounding tired.
I didn’t answer right away. I just stood there with a hanger hooked between my fingers, listening to his breath on the other end. My chest tightened a little every time I heard his voice.
“Hey,” I finally said.
“You busy?” he asked. “I texted you earlier to see how your conference went.”
His text did get ignored, but not on purpose. I had been going back and forth with my mom. She was still trying to justify what they did with Azani, and I didn’t want to hear it.
“No… I’m not busy. I’m hanging up my clothes. The conference was good. I’m just jet-lagged,” I said, hanging up the last blazer. “What have you been up to?”
“I had a few meetings, went to the gym, and talked to my mom for a minute. She asked for you. I told her you weren’t fuckin’ with me like that.”
I got quiet again because I knew what that meant. His mom had been asking to meet me. I was finally in a place where I was ready, and then I got hit with the truth about who he was and what both our families had been keeping from me.
“Well… does she know why?” I asked, rolling my eyes.
“I told her I fucked up and that I have to gain your trust. I told her I’d do whatever you needed me to do to love me again.” He paused, blowing out a breath. “I miss you, Dev…” he said softly.
Of course, that’s what he would say. I missed him, too, but the trust was gone.
“You’ll be okay,” I said, walking into my bedroom.
“It’s been two weeks since I saw you. Let me see you. Even if it’s just for a few minutes.”
I licked my lips nervously, pacing back and forth. Being in his personal space was a risk. I felt strong enough now, but would I feel the same way once I was in his face?
“Then take me somewhere,” I said, plopping on my bed. “You only get one hour. That’s it, Azani.”
“Aight. Just give me an hour to get some shit together. Can I pick you up?”
The last time you were inside a car with this nigga, he nailed you to the cross. Wear some ugly panties, bitch.
“Yeah,” I said, standing up. “I’m not getting dressed up either,” I sassed, walking toward my closet.
“You don’t have to… I just wanna see you. I’ll be to you in forty-five minutes.”
I hung up without saying anything. My mind was all over the place. My stomach was in knots. It was one thing to stand on business when I didn’t have to see him. It was another thing to be close to him and not want him.
Get out of your head, Devyn. You already said yes.
As I stood in my closet, I looked around.
I grabbed some joggers, a matching hoodie, and some sneakers.
While I got dressed, I hit my weed pen a few times to calm down.
I took down my flexi rods, then brushed out my curls.
I grabbed my purse and went into my living room to wait.
The butterflies started to settle, but I knew that wouldn’t last. A drink was out of the question.
I didn’t need anything that would influence how I handled being with him.
I sat on my couch, listening to my music through my AirPods.
Just when I thought I was calm and steady, my phone buzzed.
Azani: I’m outside. Do you want me to come up to get you?
Absolutely NOT! He didn’t need to be in my personal space like that.
Me: No. I’m coming down.
The elevator ride felt shorter than usual, and walking through the lobby made my stomach flip a million times. But as soon as I stepped outside, I saw Azani standing off to the side, smoking a blunt, and my stomach dropped.
For the love of God. Grey sweatpants? He'd better be on his best behavior.
We just stared at each other for a moment like we needed to get reacquainted. Two weeks wasn’t long enough to forget anything, but neither of us got the memo. He stepped closer to me and gently grabbed my hand, kissing the back of it.
“Hey, baby.” He just stared at me, eyes moving all over my face, my hair, my lips—like he was trying to figure out what he was still allowed to touch.
“Hi, Azani.” I pulled my hand back slowly. “Can we go now?”
“Yeah. Come on.”
I walked in front of him, and I could feel his eyes all over me. Azani never played fair. Even if he didn’t touch me, I felt him. The way he spoke to me made my body react. That’s why I put those ugly ass panties on.
He walked in front of me and opened his truck door. I stepped inside. I had to force myself not to grab his hand. He gave me one final look—eyes soft, his hair down, and he smelled so damn good. I was starting to think he was doing this shit on purpose, and I was walking right into it.
When he got into the car, his cologne filled the air, heightening all my senses.
He had the music playing low enough, but it was the song…
one that I loved, and he knew it. “Make You Mine” by Giveon.
Azani Stone was an emotional demon. He spoke softly to me, gentle, considerate, a pleaser. And no matter what… he was mine.
I glanced at him as he drove, squeezing my hands to make them stop shaking. He glanced at me, then back at the road.
“Why you shivering? You cold? I can turn the heat up,” he asked, fixing the heat on my side.
But I wasn’t cold. I was nervous as hell. He looked so calm and collected, and I was falling apart the longer I sat next to him. He hadn’t even touched me yet. I could tell we were leaving the city, but I didn’t say anything. Once we made it to the suburbs, my heart beat a little faster.
“Azani, where are you taking me?” I asked, glancing at him.
He turned down a long driveway, and lights flicked on, illuminating the path. It was a huge modern house, mostly stone, rising as we curved through the driveway. The further we went, the bigger it got—hidden behind trees, tucked so far back you wouldn’t even know it was there.
Azani shut off the car and looked over at me. “I wanna show you something.”
My voice got stuck in my throat as he got out to open my door. When he opened it, he held his hand out, and I grabbed it, stepping out.
“Dev.” His voice dropped as he brushed his thumb across my hand. “You scared? I can feel you shaking.”
“No,” I said quietly. “I’m nervous. I don’t know where I am or why you brought me here.”
He didn’t say anything, just started leading me toward the front door. He typed in a code, then pushed the door open. When we stepped inside, the lights clicked on automatically, then dimmed.
The ceilings were so tall, I had to bend my head back to see. There was a skylight right in the middle of the living room. My eyes scanned every corner of the room.
“Whose house is this?” I asked, walking further inside.
Azani was so close behind me that I could feel his body heat. I kept walking, trying to take it all in, and ended up in the kitchen. A tea bar was off to the side, and a breakfast nook was in the corner. I stopped in my tracks and turned around, but he was already in my space.
“It’s yours,” he said, stepping closer. “I’ve been working on this house for a long time. Preparing for you.”
I took a step back, bumping into the counter. He didn’t press forward, but he never took his eyes off me.
“Mine? Why would you do that, and you hadn’t even met me?”
“Because if you were going to be my wife, I wanted you to be happy. I know you love your condo, but I have everything here. It’s a tennis court, a pool, and a place for you to do crafts. I wanna show you one more room. Come on,” he said, holding out his hand.
I hesitated, then placed my hand in his. We kept walking, past three different doors, until he got to the end of the hall. When he pushed the door open, the lights clicked on, and my knees buckled.
Two ballet barres. Two poles. Mirrors along the walls so I could watch myself dance. He clicked the buttons on the wall, and the lights changed from red to blue, then pink and purple. The room was huge. I dropped his hand and stepped inside fully.
I walked over to the barres, running my fingertips across them, smiling before I could stop myself.
Then I went over to the poles and wrapped my hands around the cool metal.
I hadn’t been able to dance in weeks, and I missed it.
My cheeks hurt from how hard I was smiling.
When I glanced at Azani, he was smiling too.
It was less from happiness—he looked relieved.
“Do you like it?” he asked, walking closer.
“Yes… I love it. It’s beautiful. Thank you,” I said softly.
He stood in front of me but kept enough distance so I wouldn’t feel on edge. We stood there, staring at each other like neither of us knew what came next. He took one more step forward, but I didn’t back away this time.
“I love you, Devyn. As much as I want you to forgive me, I know you need time. I’m not in a position to ask you for more, but I miss you… I just want to see you more. Please.”
It felt as if my heart would stop beating. Everything I’d been holding in for the last two weeks came spilling out. How long should I make him suffer? How often should I allow him to have access to me? Was he being honest about not tracking every move I made? Was he hiding anything else from me?
“You already see me more than you should,” I said, softer than I meant. “But… I’m still here.”
He moved a half step closer, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Do I have to wait another two weeks to see you?”
“No,” I said softly. “You won’t have to wait two weeks again.”