Chapter Thirty #2
“And I couldn’t have done it without you making me customize your workouts beyond anything I’ve ever done, staying on my mind long after our sessions, and driving me crazy.”
He felt a smile soften his features and words.
“Some say the right person brings out the best in you, and that’s what you’ve done for me.
You’ve made me better at my job, inspired me to work on my health, and generally made my days happier.
I had no business taking my shit out on you, and I’m so sorry I did. ”
****
After their last call, Misty knew she would have been justified in refusing to take this one or in hanging up on him after some of his more egregious remarks.
But the more he’d spoken tonight, the more he’d drawn her in.
For one thing, after he’d spent their entire time together holding so much close to the chest and letting her ramble on, it was refreshing to learn so much more about Spencer. Jason. This guy.
For another, he seemed genuinely sorry for the way he’d behaved. That was enough of a rarity in the world of “sorry you feel that way” or ending an apology with a “but,” and he was taking real steps to make sure he didn’t do it again.
She felt herself softening. “You made me better too. You got me stronger, used to the cold, ready for this and everything else...And when we first started working the sled, I flashed back to all the sled training you had me do. It would never have crossed my mind to do that.”
“Exactly. You did that, I just gave you some pointers.”
“You also took my weird goal seriously and were by my side through it all. Spe—” She paused. “Wait. What do you want me to call you?”
“Spencer,” he said firmly. “That’s the name I was using when I met you, it’s the one everyone knows me as now, and I don’t like Jason. That cocky little shit, cocky little past me had the world at his feet and didn’t appreciate any of it, just took it as his due.”
“I don’t know that I’d totally dismiss past you out of hand,” she mulled. “He did give you the skills for a job outside the insurance office.”
“Maybe. But going back to what you said, where else could I be? I saw how hard you worked, how you listened to me even if you weren’t thrilled about the process, and how far you came in our time together. It was impressive.”
“I impressed you with that? So I wore those push-up sports bras and little shorts for nothing?” she teased.
Bringing up those outfits got him to smile. “I can’t say I didn’t show off too. We couldn’t have done anything while we were working together, but I still liked looking at you and wanted you to notice me.”
“Looking at you did help take my mind off things during some of the worst exercises. Not to mention the damn ice bath.” She knew she’d just admitted to objectifying him but didn’t care.
Spencer buried his unshaven face in his hands. “I’m still sorry about that. You would’ve been within your rights to report me and ask for someone else.”
“But I didn’t want anyone else.”
She wasn’t just talking about a service provider, and Spencer seemed to pick up on that. “I didn’t want anyone else, either, and I still don’t.”
She sighed. “We should’ve talked about this before I left, but we weren’t talking much. Not that I would’ve traded those days for anything.”
“Me either.”
“We can talk about it now.” Even as she spoke, Misty wondered where to start.
“Okay.” He drew in a breath. “First off, do you think this was based on proximity, or would you have wanted me if we’d met somewhere, anywhere else? My boss says it’s easy to think a deep connection’s being formed at times like these, but I noticed you before we officially signed.”
Misty felt a flutter in her chest. “I remember being glad that I got a good-looking trainer, but wasn’t sure I even liked you at first, what with the demands on my exercise and diet. Then, when I got to know you better, I developed a little crush on you that only grew with time.”
Spencer’s cheeks pinkened. “I kept telling myself I couldn’t act on any feelings while we were working together, and my boss confirmed it with a meeting about how we’re not supposed to fraternize with clients.
But once our sessions were over and your video was in, I was freed up to do more with you and so happy to be. ”
“Because you wanted to get to know me better, or because you wanted to get in my pants?” She felt a highly inconvenient stirring at that.
“Both. The more we hooked up, the more I wanted to do it again. But I also missed hanging out and talking with you. If we could do all those things...”
Misty’s heart thudded. “That sounds a lot like a relationship.”
“Call it what you like, but I want it with you if you’ll have me. If you give me another chance, I’ll never do anything like that again. I’ll talk to my therapist about how not to because I obviously don’t know how, and I want to do better. I want to be better for you.”
It was one of the loftiest promises she’d ever heard, and she felt a little skeptical. “Did you go into therapy for yourself or because you think it’ll get me back?”
“For myself,” he answered without hesitation. “It’s not easy to go into this stuff, but it drives home how awful it’s been to live with all this unprocessed shit. I need to work it out and learn how to do better with everyone going forward. If you decide you want me as a result, all the better.”
“Can we even do this? You said you were worried about getting in trouble at work, and I don’t want that for you, not when you just got this promotion.”
“I’ve been through the employee handbook, but I haven’t found anything that applies to our situation, and we didn’t go over any of that in the meeting. Like I said, there’s a clearly spelled out anti-fraternization policy for clients and trainers—”
“Which we abided by,” she pointed out.
“...but it doesn’t say anything about trainers dating gym members they aren’t working one-on-one with. I’ll have to ask someone about this.”
“You’ll have to be careful.” She was sure they’d see right through any “asking for a friend” framing he put on it.
“Even if they give me shit about it...” He shrugged. “I was scared of losing that job at first, but now I realize there are a million other gyms and opportunities for trainers in New York, but only one of you. And you’re the one I want to hold onto the most.”
Misty was too touched to speak and didn’t even go with words at first. A noise between a laugh, sob, and shriek of aggravation erupted out of her.
“You have the world’s worst timing. Two days ago, the team officials asked me if I had a boyfriend or anyone who would distract me too much if I made the team, and I said no. ”
“And you still don’t have anyone who would hold you back. Whether you want to be on a historic bobsled team, get your MFA, have a gallery show, or whatever, I want to see you do it and cheer you on. What kind of selfish asshole would I be if I didn’t?”
All at once, a moment from movie night came back to her. “Someone at the combine said real love’s about supporting your partner, wanting the best for them, even if it’s not convenient for you. She was talking about her useless husband, but—”
The sight of Spencer’s raised hand brought Misty’s words to a halt as surely as if she’d pulled the bobsled brakes. “Then let that be my roundabout way of telling you I love you.”
“And I love you.” Misty’s heart overflowed with love given and received. “It’s things like that that’ll make me miss you for the rest of this combine and if I make the team.”
A wobble had snuck into her voice, but Spencer answered her firmly. “When you make the team.”
“Didn’t you tell me that after dinner?”
“And look where you are now.” She couldn’t argue with that and hoped his faith in her would carry over to the team.
He was still talking. “I came so close to renting a car and driving up to beg your forgiveness in person, but I couldn’t risk sabotaging your chances. I want this for you as much as you want it.”
“And yet I almost wish you had.” She allowed herself a small fantasy of him showing up at her door, getting to hold his hand, smack his arm, or touch him however she wanted as they talked through everything, and then curling up around each other in the hotel bed. “How long would that have taken?”
“Google Maps says more than six hours because of upstate snow. But hey, maybe that would’ve given me time to work out exactly what to say.”
“I don’t know, you did pretty w—” A giant yawn cut off her response.
She was mortified, but Spencer laughed it off. “I shouldn’t keep you up much later. Get some rest, and we’ll talk again soon.”
“Maybe we should put our next call on the calendar to keep me straight. I’ve been such a flake about keeping in touch, and I’m sorry about that.”
“What I’ve seen your competitors post online looks more demanding than anything I’ve ever done, so I don’t blame you for being tired.
Besides, we’re both going to be busy. You work on making the team, I’ll work on sorting my shit out, we’ll catch up when we can, and then we’ll see each other again. ”
He’d spelled it out as clearly as he would the steps of their training process. “I like that plan. Feel better.”
“Stay strong. I love you.”
“I love you too.” She didn’t think she could say it enough now that they’d started telling each other.
He touched his fingers to the screen in a gesture that melted Misty’s heart. She returned it, wishing she was touching his warm skin and not this cool glass, before his face faded away.
Tish came out of the bathroom with glowing skin and a silk scarf wrapped around her head.
“I’ve flossed, brushed my teeth, washed my hair, deep conditioned it, shaved everything, plucked my eyebrows, exfoliated, and done a face mask.
I hope you said everything you needed to because I’m out of things to do. ”
“We said it all.” Misty put her phone in the charger before lying back on the bed with a dreamy smile.