Chapter Thirty-One
“You look like you’re in a good mood,” Dr. Kaur said.
After his call with Misty, Spencer had showered and washed his hair before getting in bed and sleeping like a rock.
He’d gone into his morning shave with a refreshed spring in his step, and he hadn’t been able to ignore the sensation of getting rid of the past few days’ bad vibes along with the dead skin and facial hair.
Feeling physically better couldn’t help but give his mood a little boost, and getting everything off his chest, the good and the bad, had done the greatest number on that.
“I told Misty everything. What happened before, what I’m going through now, and how I feel about her. ”
“How did she take it?”
“She heard me out, which was more than I had any right to after the way I treated her. Then we talked about everything we should’ve before she left.”
“And how did that turn out?”
“We love each other.” It came out as surprised and giddy as he felt at the thought. “We both have some busy days ahead of us, but we’ll be together again after we’re back in the same city. I’m going to talk to my boss about it today, but we didn’t do anything wrong when we were under contract.”
The thought boosted his spirits, but Dr. Kaur’s expression didn’t change. “And have you talked about what you two are going to do if she makes the team and is away for a few more months?”
“I’ll know more about that next week. Tell you about it then.”
“No, you won’t,” the therapist reminded him. “We’re closed for business on Thanksgiving.”
Somewhere along the way, Thanksgiving had completely slipped Spencer’s mind. Then again, between his increasingly busy and inventive work schedule, growing mental health struggles, and everything with Misty, perhaps it wasn’t surprising.
“...anything special?”
“What?” The question had gotten lost in the shock of the reminder.
“I asked what you were doing for the holiday.”
He sighed. “The plan was to spend it with my family. My parents, my sister Laura, my brother-in-law Isaac, my little nephew Miles.”
“The way you say it makes it sound like it’s up in the air. Is it still on?”
“It’s been set in stone since last year, but I’m not looking forward to it.” That sounded awful, but who could he say things like this to if not his therapist?
Sure enough, she didn’t blink. “The holidays are a challenging time for a lot of people. What specifically are you not looking forward to?”
“Hearing my dad compare me to himself at my age, and then comparing me to my sister once he’s done with that. Have you seen that meme of the doctor saying, ‘You may feel pressure. Your sister’s two years younger than you but already has a house and a 401K’? That’s my situation to a tee.”
Dr. Kaur didn’t laugh or change her expression. “Does your sister give you a hard time about it?”
“No.” They’d squabbled growing up like any brother and sister, but had a more than decent relationship now.
“Laura knows we have different things going on and doesn’t judge me for it, but she’s also the kind of person who’d want Thanksgiving to be perfect.
I can already say it won’t be if Dad and I are at each other’s throats the whole time. ”
Dr. Kaur looked contemplative. “Say you had a client who’d had a heart attack, hadn’t been able to exercise for months, and was starting to get stronger after two sessions with you. Would you clear them to run a marathon tomorrow?”
“What? No way!” He didn’t have to think twice.
“Why not? They’re doing better, aren’t they?”
“Yeah, but that would still be too much! They’re only getting back on their feet now, just starting to rebuild what was lost. If I sent them into an event like that, they could hurt themself all over again, maybe even worse.
..” His voice trailed off as he realized where she was going with this and that he’d walked right into it.
Dr. Kaur waited for it to sink all the way in before speaking again.
“I’m not going to tell you whether you should or shouldn’t spend Thanksgiving with your family.
I am going to remind you that it’s very early in your therapy journey and that you should handle this with the same care that you would a physical injury.
And if that means staying home instead of spending time in a stressful environment this Thanksgiving, that’s all right. ”
“If I decide not to go, will you write me a doctor’s note?”
He’d asked in jest, but her dark eyes looked serious as she answered. “Yes. We can also schedule a makeup session in between if you want, to make up for being closed on your usual day.”
“I’ll have to check my schedule.” It sounded like a copout, but it was the truth. Like Dr. Kaur, Spencer was faced with clients whose usual sessions would be disrupted by the holiday.
“And have you given any more thought to medication?”
“I have, and I still don’t know whether it was the events going on in my life or my own brain chemistry that were getting me too down to go about my days before.
Since I can still physically function on my worst days now, I’d rather stick with what we’re doing, talk about it to try to figure out what it was, and add a prescription if it doesn’t help. ”
She looked unfazed. “We can do that. Keep an eye on how you’re feeling, though.”
Spencer promised he would, and the session wound down. He headed to work feeling almost as drained as after a long workout. He knew it would ultimately be to his benefit, but that didn’t mean he was eager to rehash old experiences and ongoing troubles.
He unlocked his phone to look at Misty’s text from this morning.
Misty: Good luck today!
Even with the demands of the combine, she’d still stolen some time for this. The message warmed his heart and perked him up.
He arrived at the gym to find Barry in the office. He’d been open about going into therapy, and his boss had been nothing but encouraging. “How’d it go?”
“It’s going okay.” He drew in a breath. “I’ve been a little down, partly because I miss this girl I started dating recently. She’s away at a bobsled combine.”
Barry paused in the act of taking off his reading glasses. He looked exasperated, but spoke calmly. “Didn’t we just go over this?”
“We did, and I know, but—”
“How long has this been going on?”
“Less than a month.” How could so much have changed in so short a time? “Training together was how we met, but we didn’t start seeing each other until after the contract was up. Which, as far as I know, is within gym policy. Is there anything we’d have to do or sign for this?”
Barry looked as inscrutable as ever. “I’ll have to talk to HR about this in particular to see where you stand and what to do.”
“Okay.”
“In the meantime, get to work. You’re in too big demand for me to pull you now, and I see it’s almost time for your next session.”
Despite his medical discharge, Barry still projected an air of authority that made Spencer want to salute him and answer with, “Sir, yes, sir.” Instead, he nodded and left the office feeling lighter than he had this time yesterday for having gotten that off his chest. He took the new guy through the usual questionnaire, then led him to the training floor to get an idea of how to proceed.
By the end of the evaluation, Spencer’s client was dripping with sweat and completely red in the face. “I haven’t done anything like this in ages.”
It showed in the results, but Spencer knew better than to say that.
Instead, he handed him a towel and a water bottle.
“I hate to tell you that’ll make it hard starting out.
It’s gonna hurt tomorrow, and you can deal with that by taking a hot shower or bath tonight.
Try some arnica or CBD gel on your limbs after you get out.
But the more you do it, the stronger you’ll get and the easier it’ll be. ”
As Spencer spoke, it occurred to him that not talking about this stuff much before had probably made his current therapy more difficult. There were more parallels between this and his job than he’d ever imagined, and that somehow made it easier to take.
But no matter how hard it got, he’d put in the same work on his mental health that he’d expect from his clients on their physical workouts.
The same work Misty had put into going from a less than serious athlete to a World Winter Games contender.
The thought of her reminded him of last night’s call, boosted his mood, and motivated him to be a better man.