Chapter fourteen
Nirelle was her name.
The third slave Maeri and I traveled with.
She was quiet, but not as quiet as me.
She was young and cheerful, petite—a far comparison from Maeri.
Nirelle felt like home in some way.
Familiar. Maybe it was her soft brown eyes and her round face, but she felt safe. Maybe it was the way she’d distract us from where we were heading to with her sweet outbursts of random things she wanted us to know. One moment it was to vent about a certain boy who was most likely dead, and the next it would be how her hair was getting tangled up with pines in the dirt during our sleep. Out of the three of us, she seemed to not have a care in the world and enjoyed even the darkest of moments. She would tilt her head up to the sky, smile, and say there was something for us to learn today. Her presence felt like a warm hug.
I would comment every now and then, but mostly Maeri and Nirelle spoke while I stayed in my own world.
Both of them didn’t mention to anyone else that I was not, in fact, a mute and completely capable of speaking for myself.
I felt like I could trust them in this small way.
I thought, in my mind, this was my own way of surviving in this new, treacherous world.
Tonight I felt the tables turning in our favor when Nirelle, Maeri, and I came upon two large trees.
This was to be our bed tonight, and it happened to be near an abandoned fire most likely from some drunken warriors.
We didn’t know where they went off to, but if we had only a little time near the fire, it was worth it.
As Nirelle and I lay together in front of the fire, I stared into the flames, begging for it to show the course of the rest of my life.
My long red hair spread ahead of me on the dirt in loose waves, now reflecting the red flames.
Funny how fire illuminated a path, yet many believed hell was filled with fire.
It made no sense. How could something so full of light be filled with so much darkness?
I took a deep breath, the clean, moist air filling my lungs, and for a moment, I felt at peace being so close to the earth.
I could almost feel the earth breathing along with me, as if it were comforting me, letting me know I wasn’t alone.
We each had a long, dark linen given to us by the cook that didn’t give us any warmth but gave us a false sense of safety.
Regardless, I was grateful for it.
Days were long, but the nights were no different.
We spent most of our nights searching for warmth between ourselves and the earth under the open sky, surrounded by the woods.
Sleep was a luxury in a predicament like ours, as we tossed and turned, aware of all the footsteps nearby.
We would pick large trunks to sleep nearby that would offer some sort of coverage between us and the prowling predators in the dark. They allowed us some freedom to choose where we slept, but the reality was there were only a few of us and a multitude of them. We were surrounded at all times. None of us dared to escape with the repercussion of Klawdia’s lashes still fresh in our minds.
“Good night, ladies,”
Nirelle whispered sweetly between us.
“Night,”
mumbled Maeri, half asleep already.
I hoped I would find rest tonight.
My body ached for it.
I was so tired.
My body felt heavy and hard to hold up from the lack of rest.
Finny fed us when she could, and the creek we came across replenished our thirst and bathing needs, but my body ached from the constant journey.
My wound had gotten infected several times despite the washing I’d give it and the herbs I’d found.
Taking a deeper breath in and releasing it, I felt myself drifting off to sleep.
I listened to the crickets sing to me nearby, but I also heard wild animals making sounds I couldn’t quite place.
Howling like a wolf, if I had to guess.
Then I heard shouting and cheering from the warriors.
I opened my eyes.
I looked over.
Nirelle and Maeri were sound asleep.
Was I hearing things in my mind? A loud pop vibrated through my ears, enough that I got up to see what the commotion was about. How did they not hear that?
Wrapping the dark linen around my head and shoulders, I got up to inspect the strange sounds I heard in the distance.
I walked around Nirelle and Maeri, careful of where I stepped with the crushing of the leaves and rocks beneath my feet.
The broad trees covered the night sky, leaving it hard to see anything ahead.
As I approached the howling sounds and loud pops in the air, I noticed a large fire further on surrounded by a crowd.
It seemed to be a celebration of some sort.
The fire was so large in the small clearing, it seemed almost unnatural.
As I stood on a hill, a safe distance from the commotion, I could see them dancing, waving their arms high in the sky around the fire.
Shouting and chanting echoed through the canyon.
Drums were being played near the fire, and there were bottles of liquor being passed amongst themselves.
A party.
This is not safe.
I should not be here.
But wanting to stay and admire held stronger than what my brain was telling me: run.
My eyes and ears filled with the colors, the music, the dancing, this party, celebration, whatever it was.
I was hypnotized by the energy.
Another person came into the dancing circle, moving freely with her eyes high in the sky—Camilla.
Beautiful Camilla.
The crowd surrounding her clapped their hands to the beat of the drum as she danced around and around the growing burning fire.
Her hair flowed behind her, dressed in flowers and feathers.
Without my consent, my feet began to descend the hill towards the crowd.
I didn’t know why I was, but I felt a pull there.
It wasn’t like me to do something like this at all.
But I wanted a clearer view, and standing on the hill was more suspicious than being inconspicuous in the crowd, right?
I bit my lower lip.
What was I doing?
I tightened my linen around my head and body as I maneuvered towards the center.
I bumped into a few large warriors, but no one noticed me as I came upon the edge of the crowd near the fire.
It was warm, crackling, and beautiful.
Camilla finished her dance and fell to the ground on her back gracefully, giggling and throwing her legs seductively in the air.
The drums and chanting grew louder and louder.
She got onto her hands and knees and crawled captivatingly towards one side of the crowd, towards Aris.
My mind flashed back in time.
His face dripping in bright red blood, holding a still-beating heart in his hands.
My stomach churned, though I’d worked on erasing the memory from my mind.
I shouldn’t be standing here, staring at him.
In this moment, amidst the festivities, there was something different about him.
He didn’t seem like the lethal predator that could kill at any moment like the first day.
Aris wore his normal leather armor strapped across his chest and waist.
His arms were crossed over his chest, and he looked slightly entertained by the dance. He was beautiful, like the devil. Standing there near the fire, it was hard to resist thinking otherwise. It was…tempting to continue looking at him. Memorizing his face, his body, his posture. It was hard to think in that moment someone so beautiful could lead a legion to slaughter villages. Did darkness always appear so sweet?
The fire reflected against his onyx hair and eyes, glistening.
He was magnetic.
Even the crowds were drawn to him and Camilla.
Camilla reached the emperor.
She spread her long, elegant fingers on his legs, stabilizing herself.
She held on to his legs as she wormed and swayed her hips on her way up to his face.
The beating of the drums continued. She locked both hands on his neck, tiptoed to reach up, and slowly licked the side of his face, and the crowd went wild. She was claiming her territory.
Instantly, the warriors around Aris grabbed his sculpted body and hoisted him in the air.
The drums continued beating, the warriors carrying him around the fire.
They cheered and praised with fists in the air as they chanted.
It was the first time I heard a laugh roar from his chest.
It filled the air, and it left me breathless.
His grin was wide and showed his perfect set of pearly white teeth.
For a moment, I forgot where I was. I forgot how to breathe. And, for a moment, I forgot who I was as I heard Aris’ laugh carry across the fire.
Eventually the warriors released Aris to the ground, tugging on him and laughing with each other.
Then Aris disappeared into the large crowd.
While I was standing at the edge, watching, I wondered if he didn’t like the attention much.
Being an emperor seemed to carry a lot of the world’s attention. I wondered if it weighed heavily on him as much as the thought did in my mind.
I would have hardly considered myself anybody important before I was captured and definitely not anybody now as a captive, and that weighed heavily on my chest.
The thought of being invisible, even though I thought I preferred it.
I wondered what it was like to be a person everyone had their eyes on at every moment.
I wondered if that felt heavy, too.
I noticed many slurring their words, bumping into each other, intoxicated, and sliding with each other’s bodies into a mesmerizing dance.
Without my consent, I was pulled too inward toward the fire, and I squeezed myself through the sweaty bodies so I could breathe the cleaner air on the outside of…whatever this was.
I’d never been to anything like this before.
Finally, I reached the outer edge of the crowd and started to walk uphill.
I sat at a nearby tree and gazed at the party.
Even though these people were the reason for my pain and suffering, it was nice to feel normal for one night.
No one noticed me.
I had nothing to do, and nowhere to be.
It wasn’t like me to find much entertainment from the dancing and the drinking, but it reminded me of something else other than war and destruction. A part of me felt guilty about that.
After a few peaceful moments, my ears perked at some sounds around the corner behind me.
I tilted my head out of curiosity.
“You were one hell of an animal out there.” Tobias.
Someone snickered.
It was Camilla.
I knew her voice.
“Dancing has been a gift of mine ever since I was a little girl,”
she said softly.
“Do you think he sees through it?”
“Why do you ask? Do you think he does?”
Camilla asked.
“I’m not entirely sure, but if I were him, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you,”
he said, his voice low and husky.
“Well, that’s why he’s the emperor and you’re you, a thirsty, barbaric warrior,”
she snapped.
“He’s got more important things to do than have sex with me.
He’s smart.
It’s going to take time.
I told you this already.”
Instantly, I cringed hearing their conversation, and I knew I had to get the hell out of there.
How could she be with Tobias when I thought she was with the emperor? She seemed so intimate with him.
And wasn’t Tobias Strokan? What was he doing on this journey traveling to Siniya?
“You don’t actually have feelings for him, do you?”
“He is kind to me, Tobias.”
“You’re a fool, Camilla, if you think this could be something more.
He doesn’t trust anyone,”
he muttered.
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
A moment passed.
“Well? Do you have any information for me?”
Tobias grunted.
“Anything that you might have seen or heard?”
“I haven’t heard.
I guess that’s something, right? He is loyal.
I am sure of it,”
Camilla said quietly.
“Otherwise something would have come up by now.”
“Trying isn’t working.
If you don’t have anything for me soon, you’re compromised.
I didn’t think you were foolish enough, but you’re as good as dead then.”
“You wouldn’t dare,”
Camilla breathed.
“I don’t give a shit,”
Tobias hissed.
I didn’t want to hear any more of their strange conversation.
I felt like I overheard something I wasn’t meant to hear, and all I wanted to do was wash my ears—if that were even a thing to do.
I got up as quietly as I could and walked down the hill back to where the party was.
Weaving on the outskirts of the festivities, I looked for the path to Maeri and Nirelle. The air was heavy and warm with the high energy of the crowd.
Many had left the fire and were more scattered than before, grouped up in twos and threes.
Those that stayed back continued the animalistic dance ritual.
The bonfire was as great and mesmerizing as before, never faltering.
I kept my head wrapped tightly and my eyes glued to the ground.
As I walked further, I noticed there were more smaller fires around like the one by Maeri and Nirelle.
My ears heard strange moaning from beside me.
I glanced up, wondering what it was.
Grinding against each other, there was a warrior and another woman with barely anything covering their naked bodies on the ground near one of the smaller fires afar.
My heart sprinted.
What was this? She seemed like she was in pain or suffocating but also enjoying it by the sounds that were coming from her body.
Confused, I shook my head, and I quickened my pace.
That was sex.
It had to be.
I had never seen or experienced anything like that before.
That was nothing like what I witnessed between Camilla and Aris.
They were not having sex when I saw them fooling around, though they might have if Aris hadn’t stopped what they were doing once he saw me.
I swallowed, remembering that moment.
A motion caught the corner of my eye, and I regretted looking when I saw a man thrusting his bare hips into a woman against the tree.
Her face looked so painful, her mouth wide open and brows furrowed.
Heat flushed my neck and cheeks, and I stumbled in my steps.
I glanced the other way, my hand rushing to cover my mouth that had just turned warm.
A few people laughed amongst themselves at another nearby fire, causing me to flinch, afraid of what I would see next.
I hadn’t realized it until now, but I was full-body shaking.
I told myself I was safe.
There was no need to be afraid of such frivolous things. The group near me thankfully had their clothes on and were only drinking excessively.
Without thinking, my feet picked up speed.
I passed the nearby fire and headed straight into the darkness.
Before I knew it, I was running, and my linen tore from me.
I didn’t care. I had to keep running away from this place. My breath faltered, and it was getting harder to gasp for air. I needed to get away. In the darkness, my foot caught on the large root of a tree, and my hands planted on the ground as I fell forward.
I couldn’t believe my eyes and what I just witnessed.
Was this normal? It looked like it could be so painful for the women but oddly pleasurable as well.
It was all too confusing and overwhelming.
I shook the disturbing mental images from my mind.
I contemplated sleeping here in the darkness away from the fires.
I was so tired.
Maybe I was feeling queasy from the infection, but I barely had the energy.
It was nice to feel the cool wet ground against my cheek. It calmed the warmth building up in my throat.
Something rustled just to my left.
I looked up, and there was a man sitting under a nearby tree.
He must have noticed me because he gradually and silently rose to his feet.
Through the darkness, I could see his silhouette heading towards me. Scrambling up, I stumbled back but balanced myself for the possible attack.
As the man approached like a fox through the night, the moonlight appeared through the trees and showed his face.
It was Kallen.
His brown eyes peered through the darkness.
“What are you doing here?”
I swallowed the words that left me startled.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
He stepped towards me, his voice low and nervous.
That was obvious; I should not be here.
Cautiously, I took a step backward, away from him.
What did he want from me? They took my body as a captive.
Would he now take my vow from me too? He must have noticed the state I was in because he reached out with his hand.
Everything seemed blurry and hard to focus.
Without thinking, I ran in the direction towards Maeri and Nirelle, hoping my legs wouldn’t give out again.
As soon as I thought he would outrun me, I heard no one around.
I glanced over my shoulder. Kallen didn’t follow me.
I was safe.
After what seemed like eternity, I reached their sleeping bodies.
What was left of the fire at this point were small embers.
It must have been early in the morning.
No one claimed the fire, and since I had no linen to warm my body anymore, I decided to risk it and sleep by it.
I curled on the ground near the fire, clutching my empty core.
I couldn’t think of anything else but the nausea that had crept in slowly and now thrashed against my side.
Nothing came up, but my eyes slammed shut from the pain that stabbed me.
At this point, there was no way I could protect myself from an intruder, from a warrior if he desired to do what I witnessed the other men do to the women.
I wouldn’t be able to protect myself.