The Quiet Sun

Chapter fifteen

Ithought I was slowly dying.

My body had been deprived of necessities.

Water and food needed for a body walking miles a day were basically nonexistent.

The following days were agonizing as my body raged against me. I grew weaker, weight slid off of me continuously, and yet it was so heavy carrying myself through the days and nights. I began to question my mental clarity, what I saw the other night, and wondered if it had all been a dream. A nightmare, really.

Finny must have noticed because she snuck me extra nuts and fruit behind the warriors’ backs.

I couldn’t remember the last moment I had received such kindness, and I took it graciously, sharing as much as I could with Nirelle and Maeri.

Finny was an enemy disguised as an angel.

Because that was what they were: my enemies.

And always would be for what they did to me and my village.

I never felt connected to the village I grew up in or to the people there, but I had felt very protective of them since the attack.

We eventually came to another stop during the day.

There was talk between the warriors nearby discussing if this was a place we would stay for a night.

Curious, I surveyed my new environment.

I had been so focused the last few days only on my feet, step by step, I barely noticed the new greenery we had entered. The trees were more luscious, and the air seemed brighter. It was almost painful to look around.

Then, I heard it.

The water near us.

It was loud and completely riveting.

Everyone started setting up for the night.

There were a few already stripping naked and running towards the water through the trees.

The energy had picked up in the legion.

Excitement and laughter filled the air.

My fingers started tingling at just the thought of taking my first proper bath in what felt like forever, but it had only been six weeks.

It wasn’t me who had been counting but Maeri.

She was observant like that.

My body needed the cleaning, ached for it. I didn’t realize washing my hair and body was a luxury until recently.

Finny packed a small bag and motioned Maeri, Nirelle and I alongside her.

We walked a while further in silence, to where the crowds were sparser, pulling hanging branches and leaves away from our path.

The sounds of the river guided us through the lush and thick woods.

We reached a shore filled with light brown pebbles that gradually slid into a small river.

I stopped in my path to pause and take in my new surroundings.

The river was not as wide as I expected but deep enough for the perfect bath.

I could probably swim for a few minutes and eventually reach the other side of the river. The turquoise water rippled around large rocks that lay in the riverbed that were casting a shadow around it. It was perfect.

The waters and its heavy rolling sounds were inviting, beckoning me towards it.

The river continued on each side and curved where I could no longer see.

There were no others around in this small cove except for us, so I stripped myself bare and plunged into the deep crystal-green waters without thinking twice.

The waters welcomed me with a cooling and healing effect that made it feel almost magical to be in.

It sparkled from the sun’s reflection.

I took my time as I cleaned my body, my face, my hair.

I gave extra love to my throat, where the pain from the leather burn eased, with the water cooling it instantly. I was glad it was finally healing, even though it was taking its sweet time. I couldn’t imagine how gruesome it must have looked.

Nirelle wrapped her arms around herself before dipping her toes and retracting them just as quickly.

“The air is getting cooler.

I can tell we’re heading further and further north.

Isn’t that right, Finny?”

“Yes, child,”

Finny replied, and she laid out a small linen cloth scattered with nuts and fruit.

With a pinched expression, she said.

“But we’ll be heading into warmer months before you know it.

And no need to fret if you’re worried about getting a chill once you’ve bathed; it’s warm enough outside for you to be dry quickly.”

Nirelle nodded.

“How long will we be in winter?”

“For about two months more, maybe three depending on how the gods took our relatively long departure.”

“Can you tell us what it’s like in Siniya?”

Maeri asked with eyes that sparkled.

I focused on rubbing my hair in the river, letting all the weeks’ filth disappear in the cool, clear waters.

I didn’t have one ounce of care of what Siniya was like or what the people were like.

I got a good idea just by traveling with them. Savages.

“What do you want to know?”

Finny started taking her boots off.

“What are the people like? Are they always angry?”

Maeri spoke softly.

Finny smiled, eyes distant.

“My people don’t keep to themselves.

Everyone knows everybody’s business, and that’s how it’s always been.”

Finny paused.

“No, Maeri, we aren’t angry people, but we’re not happy either—we haven’t been for a while.

But we’re in a much better place than where we were.

We’re still healing.”

Nirelle crossed her arms over her chest, one eyebrow raised while her lip turned into a pout.

“I don’t understand any of your vague remarks.”

Finny chuckled.

“You don’t need to.”

“The water is a bit too cold.

I’m not getting in just yet.

I’ll wait for the sun to shine brighter this afternoon.”

Nirelle sat down on the wet, pebbled ground.

“You stink, child.

Get in and wash your hair.”

Finny’s voice became firmer, as if Nirelle really were her child.

Nirelle could have been if I didn’t know any better.

Not a moment later, Maeri’s voice echoed through the river.

My head swung toward her as she sang the most enchanting melody.

My heart skipped a beat, and my hands paused in the middle of washing.

I’d never heard a voice so soft and angelic.

I used this time to dive into the river and felt the waters go over my head.

I heard its echoes bouncing in my ears.

Slowly approaching the other side of the river, I came up gracefully for some breath.

I could still hear Maeri’s sweet voice. Across the river were two large boulders near its shore, almost protecting it with its strength and presence. In between the boulders was a smaller cove, where I would be alone with my thoughts. I dove deep and swam underneath for as long as I could hold my breath.

I didn’t come up until my lungs almost collapsed, and I inhaled the clean air into my chest.

I had finally reached the other side of the river and noticed the bushes near the shore that overlapped the waters.

As I approached, my toes touched the bottom of the riverbed, allowing me some stability once again.

Glancing up at the shrubs that extended into the river, I recognized some of them in books I used to flip through in Fenrah’s cottage.

They were even more beautiful in person than the drawings.

As I reached for one of the leaves, the river settled around my hips, leaving my chest exposed to the chilly air.

The waters felt warmer, beckoning me to return.

My wet hair reached the top of my backside as I studied the herb in front of me.

I heard some conversations along with Maeri’s singing across the river, but I had no desire to look up or pay attention.

For years, it’d only been mostly me and my thoughts, apart from Fenrah and occasional customers.

I’d grown to like my mind and my peace.

It was difficult for obvious reasons the last weeks, but one that I hadn’t considered was just constantly being in the presence of people.

I twirled the leaf around my fingers, observing the light color and the sharp edges.

I lifted the white bleeding leaf to my nose and inhaled its herbal scent.

How nice it felt being in my own world, no matter how unimportant or small it was.

I didn’t matter to anyone else, and there was beauty in that.

But I did belong to someone else.

There was no such thing as my own world now.

My back soaked up the warm rays of the sun as one of the girls swam near me.

I felt the water splash around my hips.

Maeri’s voice hadn’t faltered across the river, so it had to be Nirelle.

I heard the water ripple more than they did before.

“Nirelle, you finally stopped complaining and decided to join me?”

I turned to find Aris in the water.

There were several other men, warriors, over where Maeri, Finny and Nirelle—damn her—were, and they were munching on the food Finny had laid out.

As I realized what was happening and that half of my body was still exposed, I submerged myself in the water.

My face flushed a deep shade of red and I could feel my neck burning.

“Aris, where are you going?”

I heard a man shout from the shore in my direction.

The emperor had most likely seen me, regardless of him not meeting my eyes.

I swallowed the lump that rose in my throat.

They must have followed Maeri’s voice.

The rest of the warriors inhaled the food with Nirelle and Maeri, who now had stopped singing. Damn her, too.

My mind went a thousand miles per minute.

Gods, I’m such an idiot.

Attempting to remain inconspicuous, with the hopes he didn’t see me, I took a deep breath and swam towards one of the large boulders on my right.

I held my breath until my pale fingers felt the mossy green boulder under the waters, and I followed around it.

When I felt I was around the boulder, safe from the view of the others across the shore, I came up for air.

The fifteen-foot-high boulder covered me as I expected.

I pressed my bare shoulders on the large cold rock and closed my eyes to focus on my breath.

I wouldn’t go back until they were gone, I decided.

I was safe here, away from any attention. I sunk my feet into the sand, allowing my body to glide in the water at shoulder height. My copper hair pooled around me, at odds with the blues and greens that surrounded me.

At this distance, across the shore and away from the group, I couldn’t hear their conversations anymore.

It was quiet again.

I smiled to myself, feeling victorious.

“I suspected it.”

My eyes flew open.

I saw Aris only a few feet from me, standing on the riverbed.

“You’ve hidden very well the fact that you can speak.

I was almost convinced you were a mute.

I rarely miss these things.”

For a moment, I forgot how to breathe.

He looked like a river god, his dark hair wet and his strong tan face peering into me.

His strong, tattooed chest was well above the water, clearly too tall for a bath on this side of the river.

The waters glided over his body and scars.

I felt my body tense so much I wouldn’t be able move even if I wanted to.

Remember what he is, I reminded myself.

He was dangerous, murderous, destructive.

When I didn’t respond, he continued.

“Did you enjoy the show the other night? I didn’t take you for a girl who liked parties.”

I didn’t.

I never went to parties, but he didn’t need to know that.

He didn’t need to know anything about me.

And when did he see me the other night? Did he really have to notice everything?

“Reverting to the charade of not speaking again, are you?”

Aris smirked.

I knew, then, there was no way I could continue to fool him.

I felt his black eyes penetrate my soul’s existence, and my heart slammed itself into starting again, not giving my heart a moment to settle.

I narrowed my eyes—but only for a moment.

“I—I heard noise.”

Aris’ lips curved like he won the battle.

My eyes fluttered to the water in front of me.

I wanted to disappear under it and never return to the surface.

I could feel the heat rising to the tops of my ears. We were both naked in the waters merely a few feet from each other. I was thankful for the little modesty that the waters were giving me and him. Was this normal for him? Was this normal for the Siniyan people?

“I looked for you,”

he said.

My eyes met his.

“Where did you go after?”

I contemplated his question.

Where did I go? Where did he see me? At the dance circle? Was he talking about when I ran from the gathering, from people having sex? Almost puked my guts out, sick, running back to my fire?

“It was getting late,”

I whispered.

“It wasn’t safe for you there.”

His voice turned dark.

He took a step towards me.

By impulse, I sidestepped in the water, following the rock away from Aris.

I doubt this is much safer from that night, I thought to reply—but of course, I didn’t.

His eyes followed my movement.

“This feels familiar.”

He chuckled, and it made my body instantly tingle.

Before I could even blink, he was in front of me.

He frowned, his eyes narrowing.

My body froze at the sudden change, causing my chest to lift ever so slightly from the protective waters.

My breathing quickened as he placed his hand under my jaw, lifting it to the side.

Though his touch was gentle, I flinched, and he noticed that, too. The moment he slaughtered that warrior and ripped his heart out kept pressing on my mind.

“Who did this to you?”

he asked lowly.

The muscles in the sides of his neck strained against his skin.

I swallowed and closed my eyes.

I couldn’t think of my next choice of words.

It was hard to concentrate with him so close to me.

“Who did this?”

He forced my face back to meet his gaze once more.

I kept my eyes on the waters, afraid of what he’d see with those empty soul-burning eyes.

I walked through my scenarios as quickly as I could.

Telling him about Klawdia was pointless since she had been sent to Stroka.

If punishment was what he would seek, or if he were to kill her, that would be on my conscience. I couldn’t afford that. And why did he care? Wasn’t he the emperor of a land of heartless people?

I attempted to lift my jaw from his hold, but he didn’t give in.

I clenched my teeth and pursed my lips.

A muscle in his jaw twitched.

“Who?”

His voice rose, which caused me to tremble, the water rippling around me.

“It was nobody.

I got stuck.”

I lifted my eyes to his so that I looked convincing enough for him to let go of me.

That was lame, Solei.

Be smarter.

“Liar.”

My nostrils flared.

“I don’t remember who or what happened.”

“You are lying.”

His brows lifted slightly as he stepped closer.

“Let me go,”

I whispered.

He didn’t budge. “Please.”

His body was close enough that I could feel the warmth radiate from his body into mine.

It was getting harder and harder to argue with him.

“I’ll let you go if you answer my question.”

“I told you, I don’t know.”

I kept his gaze.

“There’s your answer.”

Aris laughed, and his entire body shook with the waters gliding around his bare chest.

It took my breath away.

Damn me.

I might have even forgotten who he was for a moment. He looked so human right here, right now. He didn’t seem like the murderous man I had witnessed weeks ago.

“That’s not an answer.”

“According to who?”

I asked, casting him a glance.

No longer amused, Aris’ face became serious.

Detached. “Me.”

The emperor.

His eyes were vacant and cold.

“It’s the best I’ve got to offer you.”

My eyes dropped as I lied—pathetically.

Aris seemed to think for a moment.

“Then answer this: what’s your name?”

What was it worth to him? Was this how he spoke to all captives or prisoners of war?

“My name…”

I hesitated for a moment.

“Is Solei.”

“Solei.”

He tasted my name in his mouth.

That shouldn’t have made warmth rush across my face and down my core, but it did.

“Like the sun.”

I couldn’t believe myself because I already knew from the others, but I asked, “Yours?”

“Aris.”

He didn’t hesitate.

He was proud.

A moment passed as he seemed to be thinking deeply about something.

“You remind me of someone I once knew.”

Who could I possibly remind him of? I wouldn’t be surprised if he had toyed with another redheaded woman in the past.

Clearly, he was happy with his one answer because he gently let go of my jaw with a smirk.

He leaned back, seemingly at ease, but kept his stance close to me.

I slid my shoulders back under the protective waters.

Hesitating, I swam to the side of the boulder to gain more distance between us. He didn’t try to stop me, his eyes following, watching my every movement.

I wondered what he was thinking about this moment.

I almost felt his eyes tightening on me.

We remained in the small cove.

Then, I remembered why I wanted to be as far away from him as possible now that I wasn’t cornered by him like an animal.

I was able to think clearly again.

My stomach twisted. This didn’t feel right. This wasn’t normal.

He was the predator and I the prey, I reminded myself.

I kept my distance, treading to stay afloat in the water.

My body screamed for me to go now that I wasn’t in his reach.

“How did you learn to use the herbs as medicine?”

he asked curiously, his body turned towards me now.

“From a healer.”

“And you were?”

“Her apprentice,”

I responded.

“Not a witch, unfortunately.”

Aris laughed again.

My stomach flipped.

“I never thought you were one.”

“You would be the first.”

Everyone who met me immediately thought of me as dangerous and not to be trusted; even Maeri and Nirelle were skeptical at first.

But in that moment, I believed him, and it felt nice to not feel like I had to explain myself—for once.

Someone saw me solely for who I was and not for who they thought I was.

He shrugged.

“I don’t care for superstitions.”

I wondered if he cared for anything at all.

Knowing I could very well get struck in the face by him, it didn’t stop me from asking.

“What did that man do?”

He seemed to know exactly who I was talking about.

“The murderer was a gambling addict—was in significant debt.

Couldn’t pay it off when he bargained for more than he had.

Instead of working more than he wanted to, he sold his son to Stroka for the money to repay the debt.

When Ures, one of my men, found out…well, you know the rest. The traitor had to bury the evidence that would incriminate him.”

That man sold his own son.

“You still found out despite…”

Ures being murdered, was what I didn’t need to say.

“It’s my job to.”

“What would have happened to him for selling his son?”

I breathed.

Aris’ jaw tightened.

“He wouldn’t have had a home in Siniya for the crime he did to himself, to his family, and to his people.”

“And his son? Is he in Stroka now, as a slave because of what his father did?” I asked.

“As for his son, I have plans on buying his freedom back from whomever was foolish enough to buy him and return him home—to Siniya, where he belongs.

I’ll kill those who bought him, as well.

There are too many of them, anyway.”

He said it so casually, I almost questioned my hearing.

Gooseflesh spread throughout my skin.

I hoped he didn’t see, and if he did, he marked it off as the water being too cold.

“Aris!”

I heard a man shout across the shore.

We couldn’t see them, but I was sure they knew where we were.

“Arriis, come eat!”

another shouted louder.

They must have been his trusted warriors if they were speaking to him so informally.

Aris chuckled softly, but he seemed hesitant to leave.

His chest rose as he inhaled.

“Will you join me?”

I looked down toward my naked body.

The only thing covering me from being fully exposed was the water surrounding me.

All I wanted was my linen dress to be wrapped around me, protecting me.

“Are you hungry?”

he pressed.

“I can always eat,”

I answered.

My stomach growled, and I wondered if he could notice the weight loss in my body.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

He paused, seemingly contemplating something, and added.

“Though, it doesn’t seem that your pickpocketing took you very far, did it?”

Amusement filled his voice.

I nearly smiled but refused the temptation.

Refusing to entertain his tactics.

So, he noticed I stuffed my pockets at the war camp.

Of course, he did.

“No, it didn’t,”

I muttered.

“If you hadn’t caught me, it would have.”

“If I hadn’t caught you, you would have been butchered,”

he snapped, and I was glad we had distance between each other to hide my recoil.

Moody, moody emperor.

I lowered my eyes from his.

He did save me from the lashes that would have left scars on my back like Klawdia.

“Let’s eat.”

He swam past me in the direction of the rest of the group.

I meekly followed.

As I stayed in the protective waters, I noticed how fitting Maeri seemed with the new company.

She was blossoming in a way I hadn’t seen before. Her cheeks flushed pink while she engaged vibrantly with the warriors, laughing and smiling.

“Ah, there you are,”

one of the warriors greeted Aris and left his conversation with Maeri.

He was half naked, wearing only dark red pants.

“How were the waters?”

“It’s exactly what I needed.

Especially after last night’s hunt.

My body’s sore,”

Aris answered as he walked onto shore, shaking the water from his dark hair.

His friend with the red pants threw him his brown trousers.

I ducked my head, not expecting to see his backside.

I flushed a deep shade of red.

Does no one care for some decency in this foreign land?

Maeri seemed to stare, biting her lower lip.

The audacity and confidence of this woman reminded me of my sister.

I smiled just thinking about it.

No wonder they were friends at one time.

I stopped where I knew I was covered.

I would not allow my body to be exposed.

I waited for Nirelle or Maeri’s attention and finally caught Maeri’s eyes.

I gave her a look that said, Help me before I freeze to death out here.

I need my clothes.

She pulled away, laughing with the other warrior, and hurried close to where I stood and tossed me my linen dress.

My dress landed near me in the water.

Close enough.

I pulled the dress over my head and walked to the shore, pulling my dress down as I walked up.

The dress soaked up the water left on my skin, leaving little to the imagination.

I shivered from the biting cold.

My body wanted to go back into the waters, but I knew food was a dire need at this point.

I wrapped my arms around my chest as I approached the group.

Walking around them, I found a midsize rock to sit on and hoped that my dress would dry soon.

Why were they here? I just wished they would all disappear and leave me alone on this rock.

“About three days’ time, Beshien, and the parties will begin.”

The warrior near Maeri with long hair embraced Beshien in celebration.

“About damn time,”

Beshien with the red pants said warily.

“Tell me more about these parties.

What are they like?”

Maeri asked.

“I’ll tell you what they’re like: they’re nothing like the Stroka’s,”

Beshien replied, and laughter exploded through the warriors, including Aris and Finny.

Like an inside joke that only Siniyan people would understand.

The energy shifted.

It seemed like a moment where they could finally breathe freely.

Maeri joined them.

She was a natural actress.

“So, you’re saying you’re different?”

Maeri continued.

Was this how she always was? Asking more questions than was safe?

“Trust me, girl, it’s nothing like you’ve ever experienced.”

If they were anything like the other night, I’d stay far away from other festivities the Siniyans threw.

“I’ll just be glad not to smell their stink anymore,”

the long-haired warrior chimed in.

“I wouldn’t count on it, Justir,”

Beshien said.

“I’m sure they’ll still be around more than we’d like them to be.

Like the usual.

They always seem to be lurking somewhere nearby.”

Justir clicked his tongue.

“Fuckin’ bastards.”

“It is what it is.”

Beshien bit into a peeled orange.

The orange looked deliciously sweet, my stomach agreeing.

“Don’t worry about such things.

Let me do the thinking, will you?”

Aris said curtly and popped a few almonds in his mouth.

A piece of his wet black hair curved slightly into his forehead.

Aris was the tallest amongst the warriors and seemingly the strongest.

His entire being was so large, I wouldn’t be surprised if it took all the air around us just to supply his lung capacity. It was hard not to stare; I didn’t blame Maeri and her goggling eyes.

Finny went around offering nuts to the rest of the warriors.

“You don’t need to.

That’s why we’re in your council, is it not?”

Beshien smirked.

“No, that’s not why, Beshien,”

Aris corrected him with a lethal calm, his power thundering through the group.

“Better you than advisors who will constantly pester me with their inane opinions.”

For a moment, it felt as though everyone held their breath.

Not one warrior responded to Aris or countered his words.

Maybe he really didn’t trust anyone, like Tobias mentioned the other night.

He clearly didn’t trust his warriors, his own council, to give them their opinions and advice. What a lonely world he lived in for such a powerful man.

Aris turned to Finny and snapped his fingers towards me and the girls, making a silent demand to feed us.

Finny bowed her head, obeying him.

Nirelle took a seat next to Justir, who also shared his fill with her.

Beshien faced Aris and spoke in a low voice intended for only his ears, but I still heard it.

“You know that you don’t need to carry this all on your own, Aris.”

“There’s nothing to carry, so drop it.”

Aris levelled a vacant, cold stare at Beshien.

His finger tapped his crossed arm, seemingly growing more irritating by the minute.

“This is what I was raised to do. I fight.”

Conversation continued with Finny as she passed some food to Nirelle and Maeri.

“I haven’t recognized you in months.

Maybe even years,”

Beshien whispered to Aris.

“We all change, Beshien.”

Aris leaned away from his grasp.

“And I think you’ve had too much to drink.”

The men laughed except for Aris.

He shook his head, popped a few more almonds in his mouth, and looked about.

For a moment, he seemed like he was searching for a way to escape.

I knew that it was impossible. There must have been a reaction happening from the mix of foreign fruit and almonds in my body because clearly, I wasn’t seeing things correctly.

“Why are you so far from the front of the legion?”

sweet Nirelle asked the long-haired man, Justir.

“We do so every now and then to get our reports and keep the warriors in check.

Plus, it’s a nice change of scenery.

Heard some singing.

Thought maybe we’d see some new faces.”

Justir winked at Nirelle.

She flushed beet-red and fluttered her eyes downward.

“How do you like living in Siniya?”

Nirelle was also relentless with these damn questions.

“It’s much better than where we came from— I can tell you that.

We came from Stroka— most of us did, anyway.

Siniya was barely sustainable, but now with it being rebuilt, it’s starting to thrive.

But there are still some people who refuse to let go of traditions from Stroka.”

“What kind of traditions?”

Something flickered across Justir's face.

“Branding.

Torture.

Cages.

Slavery, to name a few.”

“You don’t like those traditions?”

“Not particularly,”

Justir said softly. He added.

“But it takes time to progress.”