Chapter thirty
Aris was hooking his dark hooded cloak when I walked around the room divider.
He was wearing a soft black long-sleeved shirt that caressed his strong form.
I could barely concentrate while the fire burned bright and the shadows danced all around the room.
There was a knock on one of the doors that brought me back to reality.
Aris rushed over, opened the door slightly enough to take two bowls and some linens.
Shutting the door behind him with a kick, he walked over to the small table near the window on the other side of his room, motioning me to follow him.
For a moment, I hesitated going anywhere near him again and swallowed dryly.
“Sit down,”
Aris ordered, nodding to one of the sheepskin chairs.
I clenched my hands, fighting against myself.
At last, I sat on the chair and crossed my ankles beneath it.
“This is going to hurt.”
He started unbuttoning the top of the shirt when I swatted his hand away.
“I’m not a child.
I’m a healer and can do it myself.”
I glared at him.
He grabbed the hand I swatted at him with a firm grip.
I doubted anyone had ever swatted his hand away.
The emperor.
I held my breath.
His immediate reaction faded and softened as he held my gaze.
His grip loosened.
A smirk appeared on his lips.
“Hurry up.”
“Let go of me, and I will.
I wouldn’t want you boring me with how frustrated you are with me.”
Aris laughed heartily, causing butterflies to spring inside of me from all directions.
I couldn’t help but smile when he let go.
“Trust me, Solei, it would not bore you.”
Aris winked.
It suddenly felt too hot in here.
Was it because of the furnace or my burning brand?
I began at the top of the wooden buttons and made my way down just below the top of my chest where I pulled the opening around my left shoulder, exposing the wound to the warm air.
Exposing the pain, the memory.
It all came flooding back.
Aris drenched a towel cloth in the large water bowl, squeezed the excess water, and handed me the linen.
Before I placed the linen on my brand, I could feel his domineering presence towering over me with his arms crossed.
He reminded me of Fenrah for a moment, making sure I did this properly.
I wanted to chuck this wet linen in his face, but I resisted and focused on the task at hand.
I placed the linen—
I swore profusely in my head.
My eyes were clenched shut, and the moment I opened them, I saw stars flashing.
Aris shook his head and stole the linen from my unsteady fingers.
I spun my head to him, but he had already placed the linen back on my brand, not giving me a moment—
It was excruciating.
The pain soared and rippled through my body.
Though it felt cool when he pressed the towel on my shoulder, temporarily alleviating the burning pain, but just the mere touch almost caused me to faint.
I was seeing stars again, but I blinked them away.
Aris handed me a towel that I could clutch as he cleaned the wound multiple times with the cool water.
I looked away towards the window, closed my eyes, and breathed through the pain.
I held in a sob.
Out of the corner of my eyes, Aris poured something into the crisp water.
“Salt,”
he answered my internal question.
“It’ll sterilize it.”
I know, I wanted to say.
Instead, I nodded.
I kept my gaze on the windows towards the palace gardens.
He washed the wound once more as I squeezed my eyes shut, keeping the pain within.
When he was done, he grabbed a linen cloth nearby and was about to wrap my shoulder when I twisted to look at it for the first time in the light.
I lifted my elbow and stared at the letter that now burned more than ever.
The world stilled.
The crackling of the fire was the only sound I heard as I stopped breathing.
M.
It had a snake that curled around the V in the middle.
I lifted a finger toward the engraved letter on my shoulder, and realized not only my finger was shaking but my entire body was.
My heart squeezed in my chest, and I felt like there was no air in his chamber.
“I…”
My voice was barely a whisper.
“I belong to him…forever.”
The realization sunk in deep.
I belonged to Malakar, to the Strokan Empire.
They did this so I wouldn’t forget who I worked for, who owned me.
Aris, who was kneeling before me with the linen cloth, went deathly still.
His energy was hard and cold.
It chilled my bones.
Why should he care that I was someone else’s?
I lifted my free arm to hide the tears that fell and faced the window.
You’re stronger than this.
I could practically hear my sister in my head.
“You do not belong to him.”
Aris’ voice was a lethal calm.
“I will never have any say over my body.
I will never again.
I’m nothing and nobody.”
Aris took my shaking hand that covered my face in his.
“I am a thing, an object.”
“This does not define you, Solei.”
“This is the definition of what branding is, Aris.”
I finally faced Aris, not caring how blurry he looked because of my tears.
I bunched the fabric of the tunic I wore in my free hand.
“I am owned,”
I breathed, forcing back the sobs that wanted to come out.
“No, that’s what they want you to think.”
Aris shook his head.
“You don’t understand.”
I stared into Aris’ dark eyes.
“You don’t understand what it feels like to not own your body.
Your future, your existence.
To feel like nothing you do is for you.
Nothing you do is yours. It’s for someone else. You don’t understand, and you never will.”
I saw a small window open in his eyes, where emotions existed.
I saw them in a flash.
They seemed soft, sweet, and warm.
“Maybe I don’t understand what it feels like to walk your same steps.
But a friend once told me that those who are strong in the mind”—Aris pointed to his head—“know that nothing in this world can define you.
Not your family, not your friends, your people.
No one can define you no matter how much they try to. They want to. Trust me, they want control over you and everyone else they see as a threat. But they’ll never be able to truly control who you are. That’s entirely up to you.”
I snatched my hand out of his like it had stung me.
My brand hurt more than ever.
“You forget that they are also you.”
I got up from the chair, covered my shoulder with the dark tunic, and walked towards the double doors.
I needed to get out of here.
He was my enemy.
He needed to know I wouldn’t forget. He was reeling me in because of his guilt, maybe because of Malakar. I didn’t know, and I didn’t care to. I didn’t want to be part of their games.
“You don’t know me.
No matter what judgments and assumptions you make, you don’t know what I’ve been through,”
Aris said behind me.
I stopped at the door and turned around to find him standing nearby.
“I might not know what it’s like to be you, but I do know what it’s like for someone to want to control you.
It’s an illusion, Solei.”
“Is it?”
“Yes.
I can assure you.”
“How do you know?”
Aris unbuttoned his black shirt, revealing his strong chest and torso.
He took it off his right arm while heading over to me.
Opening his right arm, displaying his inner bicep, I saw a large engraved M on his skin.
A sharp pain curled in my chest.
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
I couldn’t believe my own eyes.
It was brutal and thick.
Like a thousand times the skin had gone over and over but never healed.
My mind raced, searching for answers.
“I can still feel it sometimes.”
His whisper was a distant memory.
My brows drew together.
Why would a father do this to his own son?
“How?”
I said softly and stepped forward.
Without permission, I placed gentle fingers on his inner bicep.
Aris flinched from the touch but didn’t move from it.
I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.
Opening them again, I felt the heavily raised scar beneath my fingertips.
Aris stiffened.
An even deeper, longer cut marked across the letter. This had been more severe than mine. I took longer than necessary to study his healed wounds.
“I’ve noticed these types of scars all over your body…”
I couldn’t finish my thoughts.
“Let’s just say Malakar likes to own people, captive or not.
My father’s execution of power and control is different than mine,”
Aris said sharply.
He snapped his shirt over his shoulder before I could observe it some more.
I looked up to meet his cold eyes once again.
The small window to his soul closed shut.
I was sure there was a lot more to the story I wasn’t going to get.
I didn’t blame him.
I had a hard time talking about things that had hurt me, too.
The anger I had toward him earlier faded from my heart.
I felt the pre-conceived notions I had placed on him drift.
I realized I couldn’t have been more wrong about Aris.
This was treacherous territory I was balancing on.
Walking back towards the doors, I paused.
Looking over my shoulder, I spoke my last words to Aris before shutting the door behind me.
“Thank you.”