Chapter forty-six
My lungs filled with an infinite amount of water as my throat attempted to close and breathe at the same time.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t breathe.
It was slow enough I could feel the water surge through my throat, and I kept trying to stop the flow.
Hold your breath.
Hold it, I demanded myself.
My bony legs and weak arms grappled against the leather straps keeping me secured on the wooden board.
My entire life came to this point of survival.
Just one more breath, and I could live through this.
I could do this.
I wanted to live.
I want to live.
I believed there was a reason why I hadn’t completely withered away and died like the rest of the prisoners around me, dropping like flies.
In fact, the people caged around me were all new and fresh bodies.
There was a reason why I was still alive, and I believed perhaps it was my will to live.
It wasn’t my time yet.
As my head moved left and right in search of air, I realized this had happened before.
I had survived other types of torture before—deaths, heartache, abuse, trauma—to the body and mind.
I wanted to live then, too.
One thing I knew in this moment was these people had hurt me before.
My lungs burned for air, my heart pounded harder than ever, and without my consent, my mouth opened for air but only found more water flooding inside.
I felt my body compulsively beg me to find my breath.
One last search.
Just as my body had slowed into death, the board I lay on rose from the water bath.
The pints of water entering my body involuntarily came up and retched over my entire being, splashing the warriors by my side.
My entire body shook and trembled with water overflowing to the side of me and onto the ground.
I heaved for air that now surrounded me and saw starlight fluttering around, though it wasn’t dark in the room.
Their wicked, crooked faces smiled as if they’d done their job.
Little did they know, I was really good at not talking.
I gave them a sinful smile, and theirs disappeared.
“You will answer us: what do you know of Aris and his plans for Siniya?”
The tall, short-haired warrior demanded.
I focused on deep breaths, sputtering out water from my lips.
Nothing came to my mind, but even if it were to, why would I ever help such a hateful group of people?
“What do you know of the emperor of Siniya?”
the other warrior, who was missing a tooth, pried.
I gave them blank stares as I observed their tan, tattooed skins before a tall warrior lifted the bottom of the wooden board—
Water gushed into my throat before I was able to close my mouth.
They didn’t give me any time.
Goddamn these stupid, arrogant men.
A flash went through my mind as my body thrashed against the hard wood for air.
His warm, beautiful face as he laughed at me underneath wool blankets.
Stupid, arrogant…emperor.
My blood heated, and it wasn’t because of this survival.
Another flash of the note near my naked body.
He had to go early in the morning to see his uncle—
That bastard.
Helon.
The one who ordered this done to me.
My mouth searched for the surface of the water, and my ribcage burst into expansion, no longer surviving the single breath I took under.
Water surged into my lungs.
Air disappeared completely.
My body jammed itself into the wood board, needed air— needed—
The board flipped into the room again.
I threw up the water and bile that was left in my stomach, coughing for breath.
“We heard you knew Aris, intimately.
What did he tell you of his plans?”
the warrior missing a tooth spat in my face.
The veins on his neck bulged.
I heaved for breath, focusing on the fact that it could be my last one.
I thought of their question.
Aris—Siniya’s emperor, Helon’s nephew, Malakar’s son, my lover.
My lover.
I laughed out loud and hoarsely.
I felt my heart grow full of remembrance, but then I felt it crack.
“What did he plan to do with Siniya?”
Siniya?
I remembered the war papers.
Why were they so concerned about these war papers unless—unless they were about…
About Stroka.
Invading Stroka.
My mind searched to remember what they looked like.
Could I have been wrong? That he wasn’t a bloodthirsty emperor like his father? That perhaps he was trying to stop more bloodshed by destroying the Strokan Empire?
I gave another breathy laugh, hoping that I had enough to expend so much air.
Did I have it all wrong this whole time?
“Tell us what you know, now!”
The tall warrior threw a fist at my jaw.
Before I had time to recognize what happened, another fist was hurled into my stomach.
I heaved the rest of the water all over the side of my body, which made the other warrior step back with a snarl.
I didn’t finish puking the rest of the water out of my body or catch a breath before my head was under water once more.
Stupid fucks!
I would never tell them what I understood about Aris’ war papers, those to destroy his father’s empire and restore it into a better, more sustainable kingdom.
Those papers were what Camilla had been searching for.
My face searched and searched for air as the water gushed into my lungs more and more.
Pints and pints of water filled me as I thrust my body against the leather straps.
I could feel the straps pull my skin apart as I heaved for life.
This was slow-motion death—exactly what Helon wanted.
This was all him.
Everything happened because of him.
My body finally relaxed, and my heart pounding against my ribcage slowed.
I felt the tip of the board lower, and my head rose to the surface.
Again, I purged the water, and what felt like my organs came out of my body.
Before I could take my first breath, a fist was rammed into my side.
And another.
Countless strikes, but I couldn’t feel the pain as everything finally clicked into place.
Aris was fighting for peace.
Peace from Stroka.
I remembered everything.
My family.
Their deaths.
My denial. My friends and the one who betrayed me. My sweet moments with Aris. Fenrah, the woman in the market. Fenrah was alive.
My heart split open.
With the beating from the two warriors and the countless near-drownings, I had blacked out.
I woke up in my resting place, hanging from my wrists in shackles.
My wrists had been bleeding prior from the leather straps and hadn’t stopped since.
I felt the blood trickling down my arms towards my shoulder. My arms felt numb as I didn’t know how long I’d been unconscious. It might have been a few days.
I scanned my surroundings.
I was in an empty chamber in the palace.
I was surprised I wasn’t in the dungeons, but this place would do.
“Wakey, wakey, silent whore.”
The voice from behind me told me I wasn’t alone.
I turned my aching body as much as I could to see the two warriors from before.
“I wonder how it feels,”
the shorter warrior said with a sly smirk.
“Well, Evan, if Aris tried it, I’d say good enough.”
The tall warrior laughed.
He walked around me.
His hands grabbed the top of my torn-up dress and ripped it open.
I kneed him between his legs.
He bent forward and grunted in pain.
He looked up with rage in his eyes.
They’d been mocking my body since I got here, tearing me apart until there was nothing left.
“He always had such a weak spot for the helpless, Melvin.
Especially the slaves here,”
Evan, the shorter warrior, replied regardless of Melvin’s current position.
“I’ll be happy when he’s gone for good.
No more mercy for the Insulatus and slaves.”
“Are you ready to talk?”
Melvin, the tall warrior, prowled towards me, his greasy wet fingers grabbing my chin.
“Helon won’t be too happy if he doesn’t get answers soon.”
I yanked my chin from his fingers, and he lowered his hold to my throat.
“Malakar did say she’s a mute,”
Evan muttered.
“That’s right.
He did say that.
And how do you get a mute to talk?”
Melvin eyed Evan, showing he had the answer.
“You get them to write.”
“Do you suppose she knows how to?”
Melvin shrugged.
“Prustan taught them all how to write when they were young.”
“How did you know that?”
“I traveled to Prustan about six, maybe seven years ago.
Had my fun there.”
Melvin paused and continued to stare at me.
“Actually, the women I enjoyed looked just like you, accept for the red hair.”
I stopped breathing.
“Yes, yes.”
Melvin laughed, clearly down memory lane.
“There was this mother and daughter about your age.
I will never forget their screaming faces after I was done with them and left them in an alley.”
My body stiffened, and my blood boiled and burned in blinding rage.
I was going to kill him.
Both warriors pulled a table forward and unshackled me—their first mistake.
They sat me down on a chair, pulling my hands flat out on the table, and Evan to my left put a plier around my fingernail.
Melvin placed a fountain pen in my hand—his second mistake.
“Show us what you heard, or I’ll do to you what I did to them,”
he threatened, pressing his disgusting beard near my ear.
The whites of my knuckles showed when I dipped the sharp metal pen into the ink tray and began to draw with the pointy tip.
“There you go.
I knew you had some sense in you,”
Melvin grunted in my ear.
When I heard him close to me, I twisted my body and stabbed him in the neck precisely where Aris once taught me.
I plunged the pen even deeper.
He screamed, and I felt Evan seizing my arm when I grasped the knife from Melvin’s hip and swung to my right.
I missed Evan when he dodged to the left, letting my arm go.
But I didn’t stop.
When I saw the surprise on his face, I took advantage of the momentary calculation and lunged once more, stabbing him in the chest, right in the heart.
Evan dropped to the ground.
Blood sputtered from his mouth. Dead.
Turning around, I met my next victim, again.
Melvin was holding his bleeding neck, shaking and backing toward the door.
“I will kill you,”
I said with a calm, hoarse voice.
His eyes as wide as could be, he scrambled for the door, but I was much, much quicker than him.
He gave me the energy needed to end his life.
With swiftness, I pounced forward, raising my arms in the air and plunging it into Melvin’s chest.
He howled as I plunged deeper and deeper into his flesh, blood splattering onto my hands and arms.
I was surprised no other guards came in from the sounds as I let my crazy out.
I pulled the dagger out of his spine and plunged it again and again until I was sure he was absolutely dead.