Chapter forty-five
It was an effort to breathe.
It had to be made consciously, willingly.
Something hurt in my heart while I looked at the empty cage to the left of me.
Pain, of course.
This was what it felt like.
I’d felt this way before. Others I had cared for, maybe even loved, had died.
Rubert was a friend to me.
He saved my life.
He was an angel in the darkest of moments.
And now, he was gone.
They had hauled his poor broken body out into the freezing square, away from me, and stabbed his beautiful heart until they were sure he was dead.
That happened days ago.
All I’d been able to think about was no matter how my past slipped from my mind, I would never forget Rubert.
I leaned against the metal cage, staring off into the distance, contemplating what it’d be like to be stabbed alive by those guards.
The skies seemed darker than usual, and the cool, crisp wind howled through the cages, making most of us groan from the shivers.
The open wound now festering around my throat didn’t help.
It was hard to think clearly with my fading mind, and so I tried not thinking at all with how many headaches it created. The wound was persistently itchy, throbbing and painful.
Just when I was about to crawl into a corner, I heard an icy voice that perked my ears.
I’d heard that voice before.
My eyes darted over the square and the streets of the market, until they landed on him.
He wore a crimson tunic over white linen pants as he swept his gaze among the streets.
He laughed at a local merchant who attempted to sell their rabbits.
Others bowed their heads to him.
Helon.
The name wasn’t hard to remember.
The rest was more or less blurry.
I followed his path as he made his way through the market.
As the crowd parted for their royal member, his eyes glanced my way, and my heart thudded.
His eyes were pools of darkness.
I swallowed air.
They looked familiar.
Observing me, he made his way closer, but not too close—of course.
You never know what these Insulatus—
“I almost didn’t recognize you.”
His silky voice filled the air.
“I haven’t seen you in perhaps two, three months.
To be honest, I hadn’t expected you to survive this long.
Not many do.
I’m sure you won’t last much longer.”
I cocked my head to the side as he spoke to me.
My blood warmed, and I felt energy rushing through my body.
My mind said run, but my body wanted to attack.
“Regardless of what little importance you have, you made quite an impact on my nephew.”
His nephew?
“And that couldn’t happen again, you see? Not after Camilla switched over Aris’ charms.”
Aris.
My heart fluttered in my chest, and it was the strangest feeling.
It felt almost…nice.
Helon shook his head, smiling more to himself than anyone.
“Smart boy, always was.
He always knew who not to trust… Even with me, it was hard to gain his trust to the point where he’d tell me any future plans.
I was hoping you’d come to your senses and tell us what you found.”
The words barely registered in my mind.
Aris, his nephew.
I could hardly remember what his face looked like.
Or how he felt on my body.
“But it seems I was too late.
I’ve been in Siniya for a while, but now that I see you…it seems you’ve lost your senses,”
he scoffed.
“Aris, of course, didn’t suspect anything by me.
He thought you left willingly and let you go.
He has been a mess ever since, but…still hasn’t shed any light on his plans for the future.”
I grabbed the bars between my pale fingers, leaned forward, and glared into his eyes.
His breath caught in his throat.
He flinched but didn’t step back like so many others had.
“You know something,”
he rasped.
It was my turn to laugh.
He might have seen something in my eyes, in my subconscious, that I didn’t remember, but lucky for me, nothing came to mind.
“You know something that I don’t.
What did you see in Siniya?”
Helon demanded through his teeth.
“Tell me, what did you see?”
I laughed again, more loudly than before, my voice hoarser than with Rubert.
His face was flushed red by the time he left with his guards and disappeared into the smoke-filled market.
Whatever he thought he saw in me, it was gone now.
It had been gone for—
I didn’t even know how long.
I pushed off the railings and continued to stare at the empty cage near me.
The different shades of gray on the metal bars caught a mediocre attention from me.
Was this what my life had come to?
“Solei…”
a female voice murmured near me.
I turned because it felt too near to me not to.
I looked at a middle-aged woman who had a neat braid pulled from her soft, tanned face.
My brows knitted into contemplation.
This woman… There was something about her.
“Solei, my darling…”
Her voice was raspy.
I cocked my head.
She reached her hand through the bars and touched me.
My jaw nearly fell to the floor.
The woman gently grabbed my jaw as if I were a child and pulled it to the side, and her deep brown eyes perused my neck and its infection.
She had a large fucking set of balls on her to be touching an Insulatus like me.
But I let her.
Why did I?
Her touched reminded me of home.
But I didn’t know what that meant.
“Where have you been? Why are you here?”
Her voice was a little too rebuking.
“I think I might have something to help with that infection,”
she muttered as she reached for her bag that was slung across her apron.
Her voice still felt as if she were scolding, and it amused me.
“Have you eaten at all? You don’t look…the same.”
The column of her throat worked as she brought out a skin bottle and a linen.
She dampened it and reached past through the bars, again.
I leaned my neck so she could have a better way with her washing.
“Here, drink the rest of this.
Why aren’t you saying anything?”
Her brows lowered, and for a second, I thought she’d put her fists on her hips, but she kept washing my infection.
She paused and looked into my eyes, waiting for an answer.
“Because there is no reason to speak,”
I said so softly, I barely heard it myself.
“I wished I’d seen you earlier.
I’ve been pulled to every corner in Stroka trying to take care of us but haven’t made my way here yet.
By the looks of it, you’ve been here for a long time, my girl.
Let me have your neck again. Good.”
She placed some herbs on my neck, and then wrapped my neck in a long linen cloth, tying the ends tightly together.
“I’ll be back with some food and water, yeah? Just don’t go anywhere,”
she growled as if I could go anywhere.
I wanted to laugh, but I didn’t think she’d take it well, so I kept my mouth shut.
The woman left and trudged through the chaotic market with her herbs and linens.
I felt something in my heart flutter.
I almost cried out for her to stay, so I could continue to feel this way.
This sense of safety.
But something in me refrained from doing so.
I wanted her far, far from here.
There was no god in this place, but I prayed that she would not come back for me.
The sun was setting when I heard the guards rush through the markets in haste.
Their thick legs and tall bodies made the ground beneath me waver.
The rest of the Insulatus, including me, came forward to see what the fuss was about.
The crowds spread from the road to give room for the guards marching through.
I stopped breathing for a moment.
They were heading towards me.
What did they want now? Were they going to stab me like they did with all the other “dead”
Insulatus? I looked down at my body to ensure I was alive—
Yes, I was still breathing and standing.
What did they want from me?
They approached my cage and opened it with loud dangling keys.
I withdrew into the back of the cage, legs shaking and barely keeping me up.
I’d never stepped out of this cage.
Without a second to think, two beastly guards grabbed a hold of each side of my thin, weak body and pulled me from my home.
I wish I could say I fought against their rough hold, that I yanked my body left and right, thrashing and screaming, and did everything I could possibly do to free myself, but I didn't have a single ounce of energy in my body to make a difference.
As the guards dragged me through the streets of Stroka, people hissed and cursed me along the way towards what seemed to be the palace.
It was rather boring and didn’t look as impressive as I would have imagined it to be—though my imagination hadn’t been working very well recently.
It was quite large and could fit an entire army or two, but something about it was dry.
Through the gardens of thorny rose bushes and dead grass, we proceeded towards the high palace doors.
They were open before we reached them.
I was surprised my eyes couldn’t get enough of this rather dull place.
The ceilings were tall and carved, but there was no color.
I was pushed towards the cold, hard floor and craned my neck to find an older but powerful man standing on the dais near a throne.
“Well, well, what do we have here, Acantha?”
his voice thundered in the large room.
“I’m not entirely sure, Malakar,”
Acantha breathed.
A flash crossed her eyes, as if she did indeed recognize me.
The man took a step closer to me.
Cocking my head, I realized I knew this man.
I belonged to him.
“She was Aris’ lover.
I’m sure of it.”
Helon stepped forward.
The powerful man, Malakar, peered into me the same as I did with him.
“She looks familiar—yes, I remember her.”
He stepped towards me again.
Then looked at Acantha before he smacked his hand across her cheek.
“You weren’t sure? Is that right? I know you know better than that.
You tell me the truth at all times.”
He lowered his hand and threw a glance at Helon.
My heart, what was left of it, squeezed at the sight of Acantha’s hand on her stinging cheek.
“What about her, Helon?”
My brain hurt with how much it was trying to register the words they spoke about me.
I remembered—but I didn’t.
None of it made sense.
“I couldn’t get through to Aris, and I have reason to believe she might know a thing or two about him.”
“Still thinking my son will betray me, Helon? What is your reasoning that she might know something we don’t?”
“She and Aris spent a lot of time together, and I noticed the way he looked at her.
Looked like a lovesick puppy, if you ask me.”
“If I remember clearly, Tobias told us she was a mute.
Before he died.”
Malakar’s lips tightened.
My heart thundered against my ribcage. Tobias.
“I don’t think that’s the issue, Malakar.
Anyone can talk with the right tools.
She saw something, I know she did.”
Helon smirked.
“And we’re going to make her remember.”