Chapter 7
Celia
I’ve failed everyone. Brian, my team, my sister. Why couldn’t I keep my cool and handle Christy like a reasonable adult?
But when my stomach and heart lurch in tandem, I know exactly why. Anger and… jealousy. The emotions short-circuited my brain and launched me into some primitive state, anxious to defend what is mine: Brian. Oh God, did I actually think that?
As we follow the volunteers out of the maze, the word disqualified reverberates over and over in my mind, buzzing and swirling. And I can’t bring myself to look at my friends, to see their disappointed faces.
When we exit the maze, I need a moment alone to think about everything churning in my head and in my heart. I can still hear Christy screaming as her teammates encourage her to walk away. Anxiety, anger, and sadness threaten to take me down. I start walking more quickly, nearly jogging.
“Cee, wait!” Katie calls out.
“I just need a few minutes,” I say, not turning to look behind me. I’m being a coward. I know it.
I make it to the side of the maze and sit, pulling my knees to my chest and pressing my face into the tops of them. This is not how I wanted to start the New Year. I wanted to have fun with my friends, maybe win the race, and support my little sister. And I ruined it.
“Hey,” a warm male voice says.
I peer up and see Brian standing in front of me, the full moon glowing behind him, highlighting his glossy black hair. He squats and sits next to me.
“Thank you,” he says softly, handing me a damp paper towel and gesturing at my face.
I do a double-take. “Brian, you can’t be serious. I got us kicked out of the game and acted like an angry, cocaine-addled rat.” Distantly, I wipe at my face and see traces of blood streak the paper towel.
“More like a badass assassin,” he says with a soft chuckle.
I bury my embarrassed face in the paper towel.
“Hey, seriously. Don’t stress about it. Katie, Jacob, and I are all worried about you, not about getting kicked out of the race. We all saw what happened. You didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, you just gave Katie a story she will be re-telling with enthusiasm for years to come.”
Brian slides his hand over mine, where it now rests on the ground, and gives it a gentle squeeze. The warmth sinks into my skin, easing my anxiety.
“I really needed to win,” I swallow and pause, considering how much to share with him. But Brian is my best friend, has been all these years. He knows my family, knows me. So I continue.
“My sister is desperate to get out of our parents’ house. You don’t know what it’s like being stuck, fighting for bathroom time and a decent meal with all the other people who live there, desperate to figure out who you are while confined in a small, overcrowded space. My parents weren’t bad to us, but they have so many kids to care for. I just want Maria to get her opportunity. I thought this prize money could go a long way in helping her with that. And one moment of taunting was enough to make me lose my cool. I’m so mad at myself.”
“Cee, it’s not your job to do that for your sister,” he starts. But his words only stoke my self-loathing.
“I never said it was. I just know how hard it is. I could have helped her get a fresh start, and I failed,” I say, not allowing myself to take the out he’s trying to give me.
Brian stands and reaches out a hand for me. “Come on. I think you need to get your mind off all this.”
I hesitate, then stuff the paper towel in my pocket and finally reach up and clasp his hand. Once I stand, I try to let go, but he won’t let me. His palm brushes against mine, and warmth pulses where they meet.
“Hey, Cee?” You okay?” Katie asks, walking up and wrapping me up in a hug.
“I’m sorry,” I say, looking at the ground.
“Meh, who cares? Watching you beat that chick up was way more fun than winning this race,” Jacob says, humor coloring his voice.
I glance up to see my friends smiling at me, their love seeping into my bones. I can’t help it. When faced with such support, I have to smile too.
“Alright, one more stop for the night,” Brian says, tugging my hand toward the car.
“Where are we going? We lost. It’s over,” I insist.
“Yeah, but it’s 11:30. No way we are going to bring in the New Year driving our cars to the hotel. There’s going to be a fireworks show at midnight right over there, above the fall festival field. It’s getting chilly, and I know you keep extra jackets and blankets in your car. You’re always freezing,” he says quietly.
“We’ll meet you over there,” Katie says, mischief lighting her grin.
We walk to the car, hand in hand, neither of us speaking. Now that my guilt and frustration have ebbed, that swirling sense of attraction is heating up my belly again. We pop the hatch and grab several blankets–some for us and some for Katie and Jacob.
When we arrive at the sprawling field, I notice lots of teams have already found spots to sit and wait for the fireworks to begin. Katie waves to us, and I walk over and hand her a blanket to sit on. I set ours up next to them and take a seat. Brian sits next to me, a couple of feet between us. I shiver as the wind that always seems to haunt this place rifles my hair.
Brian grabs the extra blanket and tosses it around my shoulders, then, to my great surprise, scoots in next to me and pulls it around us both. His body heat and the warm flannel blanket halt my shivering–or at least they should. But a new kind of shivering has taken its place, one born of nervous desire. I look up and into Brian’s eyes. He reaches his hand up and brushes a lock of hair out of my face, then reaches for my hand and clasps it in his. We stare at each other, each searching for something in the other’s expression, something that’s always been there but tucked away deep beneath years of friendship. He leans in, and I can smell mint on his breath. My heart gallops as I lean in a little closer. And, just as our lips are about to brush, everyone around us shouts: “TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN!”
We smile and join in the countdown. “SIX! FIVE! FOUR!” I turn and see Katie grinning at me. She winks and nods at Brian.
“THREE! TWO! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
Fireworks erupt in the sky around us, their bright lights flaring and popping, turning the sky into a magical tapestry. I turn to look at Brian and can see the fireworks reflected in his dark eyes. He’s grinning and I don’t hesitate, not anymore. I lean in and press my lips to his. He locks up and pulls back slightly, studying my face.
Brian must find what he’s looking for because as he leans back in, he whispers, “Happy New Year, Celia. Here’s to better things ahead.” And then his lips are back on mine, drinking me in and sending my heart into orbit with the fireworks above us.