Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Edward arrived at Fairbrook Manor early in the afternoon. He sat atop his horse, watching the manor appear in the distance, and he was truly surprised by the very real fact that he was excited.
The marriage itself did not bring this excitement. Oh sure, he was committed to it, as he knew that he should be. And he was certain that he had made the right decision. But marriage had never been something that Edward yearned for, so there was no reason that this might suddenly change.
Rather, the excitement felt was for his soon-to-be wife.
For two days he had done little but think about the last time he had seen her.
The passion. The intensity. The sheer desire felt by both and then explored and shown in the most animalistic of ways.
He thought about their kiss. He thought about how she had given in to him, wanted him, craved him as if he was life itself.
And most of all, he thought about her taste.
As he rode his horse, a warmth spread through his legs and up his body as he pictured the look in her eyes when he licked his fingers clean. Oh, how that had broken her final defense, forcing her to give in to his request. And oh, how he wanted more.
As I am sure that she does…
There was a small part of him that worried also.
So intense had that moment been that he wondered if her saying yes to him was brought purely from her arousal, and now that time had passed, would she regret her decision?
Worse, would he regret it? What if when he saw her, he was brought back to reality, suddenly made aware of how permanent this arrangement was and the awful mistake he had made?
He needed to see her. He needed to know that this was right. And most of all, he needed to taste her once more…
The moment that Edward walked into Fairbrook Manor and laid his eyes upon Celestine, he knew that he had made the right choice.
She stood at the base of the stairs in waiting.
Her hands folded before her. Her head bowed slightly as if from nerves.
But she glanced up when he strode through the doors, their eyes met, and he saw a spark behind them that saw those memories he’d been living in return as if a tidal wave washed over him.
Her face was as beautiful as he remembered.
Her lips… those expressive eyes… the expression she wore that was both combative and daring of him to challenge it.
Her gown was simple, not too tight, but it could not hide her curves, and Edward ran his eyes over them purposefully, imagining their feel beneath his hands, just as he imagined her soft moans when he held her.
She saw his expression. He let her see it; he let her see how much he craved her. And while she frowned, even looked away as if to dismiss him, there was no denying the tension which built. Tension that he very much wanted to break.
Yes, this was a good decision. The right decision…
“Celestine…” He made right for her, seeing no point in being coy. “Oh, to see you again is like a light in the darkness.”
Her frown deepened and she leaned back. “There is no need to be so exaggeratory. I have not changed my mind, if that worries you.”
“Worried?” He laughed. “I am not worried.”
“Then why are you trying so hard?”
Edward stopped short, her comment more cutting than he expected. When he first saw her, he’d taken her hardened expression to be a challenge of some sort, as if she wanted him to continue in the dance to which they had both become accustomed.
Now, however, he looked at her again, and he realized that something was wrong.
The way she stood, the way she refused to meet his eyes, reminded him of when they had first started their false engagement. She had not wasted time then with falseness or exaggerating their so-called love. She had been cold and distant, and it had been up to Edward to lure her from her shell.
That she acted that way again… it was strange, and a little worrying.
Edward searched her for the desire, the want and the hunger. He looked for that same woman who he had kissed so passionately two nights ago. But she was nowhere to be found.
Something is wrong…
“Your Grace!” Celestine’s mother swept into the foyer. “It is so good to see you.”
“As it is good to see you.” He turned and smiled formally. “I thought I ought to stop by to see how preparations are proceeding.”
“Wonderfully,” Celestine’s mother said as she stood beside her daughter. “Celestine is thrilled, as you can imagine. As are we all.”
“That is good to hear.” He looked at Celestine, seeing none of the thrill that her mother spoke of.
“Shall we go over the arrangements?” Celestine’s mother asked as she linked her arm with her daughter’s. “There is much to discuss. The wedding license!” she then cried. “I trust it is being taken care of?”
“It will be…” Edward continued to watch Celestine, and her despondency was undeniable. “As for the arrangements? Those can wait for later.”
“Are you sure? There is so much –”
“If I might,” he cut over her. “I would like to take a walk with your lovely daughter? This has all happened so quickly and there are a few things we ought to discuss.”
“Oh, yes, yes,” Celestine’s mother said, quickly unlinking her arm and stepping away. “Of course there is. Please, take your time, and come see me once you are done.”
“Celestine…” Edward offered his arm to Celestine. “Shall we?”
“Yes,” she sighed. “I suppose we should.” And then, without another word, she turned and strode across the foyer towards the back of the manor.
Edward stared after her, surprise taking him. She was upset, of that there was no doubt. Worse than that, he feared that she had changed her mind, and that all of this would be for nought.
While such things should not have troubled Edward, because it was not as if he was in love with Celestine, he could not ignore the way his stomach twisted… a sickness roiling through his intestines.
And this is precisely why I never married in the first place.
That he was set to marry Celestine now, while not ideal, was not nearly as awful a thought as he might have once believed.
He told himself it was merely the attraction that did it, a hunger he felt that he needed to satisfy.
And because he forced this belief so fastidiously, it allowed him to ignore that niggling voice in the back of his mind that tried to warn him of the true reason…
one that was anathema to his very being.
He found Celestine outside waiting for him. When he stepped through the door, she offered a curt smile, turned, and started down the garden path. Edward exhaled sharply and hurried after her.
“Is this the part where you tell me what is wrong?” he asked as he caught up to her.
“And who said that something is wrong?” She looked ahead as she walked, not once glancing at him.
“Oh yes, silly me,” he said with a dark chuckle. “Whatever was I thinking? Clearly, all is well. Look how the sun shines for us.”
“Perhaps you are having second thoughts?” she responded. “Now that you are not drunk and angry.”
“I was not…” He clicked his tongue with frustration. “Are you? Having second thoughts, I mean.”
“Why would you say that?”
“It is a simple question.”
“One that you refuse to answer.”
She shrugged. “It was you who asked me to marry you. So, if you are having second thoughts, it is you who should voice them. Do not hold back because you do not want to hurt my feelings.”
Edward came to a stop, which saw Celestine walk ahead. She took several steps before noticing, at which point she turned back to find Edward glowering at her.
“What is going on, Celestine? Something is clearly wrong with you.”
“Nothing is wrong with –”
“Do not lie to me,” he cut over her sharply. She did not wince. Rather, her expression hardened. Edward softened his own, not wanting to fight or argue. “Since the moment I walked through the door, you have looked as if the world is ending. Worse, you have looked at me as if I am the cause.”
She started with a scowl, and he braced for her sharp response.
Then, that scowl shifted; the anger and the stubbornness in her eyes fading. What was left behind was a look of such abject worry, such sadness and confusion, that Edward wanted nothing more than to go to her.
“You are right,” she said, letting her shoulders fall. “I am… you are going to think that I am being silly.”
“Most likely,” he said with soft laughter. “But try me anyway.”
“I want to know, Edward…” She forced herself to look at him, that same expression of worry clear in her eyes. “Why did you ask me to marry you? The real reason. What changed?”
He blinked in surprise. “I told you the reason.”
“No,” she said. “What you told me was that you felt as if you had made a mistake, that you had lost something and wanted it back. Words that at the time seemed romantic…” She laughed bitterly. “But now, I wonder if they were something else.”
“What are you…”
“Do you want to marry me? Or do you just not want anyone else to?”
“Is that what you think?”
“Am I wrong?” she pleaded. “It wasn’t until you saw Lord Grundon dance with me that you realized your mistake. It was jealousy that did it, not desire, not… not a desire to be with me.”
“Do you really think I make decisions based on Lord Grundon?”
“You still have not answered me,” she said.
“Today, you say that you want to marry me. I am not such a fool to think that you love me, nor will I ask you to say that you do. But what happens tomorrow? Next week? What happens when you wake up and realize that this was all one big mistake? Then what?”
“I…” Edward started, trying to find the words but unable to reach for them.
“I hardly know you at all,” she continued. “And what I do know tells me that marriage should be the last thing that you want. So, tell me, why? Why now? What changed? And how can I trust that it won’t change back?”
It all made perfect sense.