Chapter 12
Twelve
Cecil had left quickly after he said that he preferred her to anyone or anything.
His words had also left him disturbed and quiet and when he left, he had kissed her again, except it carried none of the passion as the previous kisses. This one had been gentle, slow, and if possible, emotional.
Her heart had melted.
Nicoll was already in danger of feeling more for Cecil beyond friendship and desire, and his wanting to know her better was unexpected.
When she had told him about the time their ship had been sunk and they had to reach the beach, he had truly listened and only interrupted to ask a question, more for clarification, and not as many men did—to hurry her along because she was wasting their time.
That had often been the case in her father’s home and why she kept her encounters with people outside of her household succinct.
Further, the more she spent time with Cecil, the more she dreaded the day they would part.
If she didn’t need to see her sisters protected, Nicoll would have enjoyed days and weeks of Cecil’s company and kisses, except had there not been threats to her family, Cecil would have no cause to visit her under the cloak of darkness.
When she and her sisters were out during the day, she looked for Cecil. When they attended a soiree, she looked for Cecil, but he was in none of the places where she was, which had her wondering what he did with himself before he arrived at her home near midnight?
Of course, during the day he had his important work as a barrister, but what about the evenings? Were they filled with desirable women? Was he kissing others before he visited her?
Oh, she hated the jealousy that ate at her, but he was a rake, thus not someone who would remain interested in her for long when there was a buffet of women willing to be sampled by Cecil at any given moment.
At the sound of the window opening, Nicoll whipped around to find Cecil stepping into the parlor.
He said nothing, but strode forward, drew her into his arms and placed his lips against hers.
Nicoll nearly sighed. He’d never kissed her upon arrival before.
“I find that I spent many hours today thinking about you, your situation, and gathering information on Retford, therefore, I decided to collect my fees immediately.” He grinned.
“At least I am happy and able to pay the steep cost of your representation.” Nicoll stepped toward the sideboard. “Would you now care for a brandy?”
“Yes, please.”
He took a place on the settee while Nicoll poured two glasses and then joined him.
This was comfortable, an easiness had developed between them that she had not anticipated.
“Did you learn anything or reach any conclusions during your thinking today?”
The corner of his mouth tipped. “I learned nothing that should cause you any concern.”
It wasn’t exactly an answer, but if she did not need to concern herself with Retford for another day, then she would not press for additional information.
“I would like to tell you about myself.”
She brightened.
“You shared your family with me, so I will share mine with you.”
Cecil turned to face Nicoll, his knee bent and on the cushion between them.
“I would be happy to learn anything you wish to tell me.”
Cecil had not planned on divulging so much about himself and his family, including that they came from a family of smugglers that dated back generations. But Nicoll promised never to tell his secrets and he believed her.
He had never told a woman so much about himself because it was indicative of an intimacy that he had never wanted with anyone and it also offered encouragement where there should be none. But Nicoll was different.
And, he had spent the day and evening thinking about her from the moment they met until their parting kiss the night before and his revelation that he was falling in love.
Further, he was not fighting the emotion.
He tried to convince himself that he need not be concerned because she was leaving therefore his previously preferred bachelor state was not a risk of coming to an end.
Except, just the idea of Nicoll leaving for good caused an anxiety that he had never experienced before.
Therefore, Cecil decided that once they came to know one another better, and they revealed the more unpleasant sides of their personality that such emotion would diminish and he would be quite comfortable with her leaving.
The night progressed, as did the ones that followed.
In fact, for the next sennight, Cecil visited Nicoll nightly. They spoke until the sun was ready to rise, and he only left then so that he still had the cover of darkness when sneaking away.
They shared stories from childhood, aggravation of siblings, and she painted pictures of Dominica with such detail and love that he was certain that he could feel the sun on his skin, smell the tropical flowers and feel the sand beneath his toes.
And each night he fell further in love with Nicoll when he had hoped that it would be the opposite.
Their kisses were full of desire and passion yet were often gentle. In the past he may have wanted to simply seduce and experience physical pleasure. With Nicoll, he didn’t just want a joining of their bodies, but a melding of their hearts.
Yes, he wanted to take her to the heights of passion, but it wasn’t simply a physical release that he sought.
His mind wanted to know everything about her, his heart ached with the need to have her near and his body craved her touch.
If Cecil thought that he would have fallen out of love with Nicoll, he had been wrong.
And now she was leaving in just five days and he was not certain he could let her go.
In fact, he considered walking away from his family and his position just so he could go with her.
Such thoughts scared him because he never felt this way about any woman in his life nor had he ever expected to.
In fact, he was almost on the verge of confessing everything to her and held back because he feared her rejection, something else he never thought he would ever experience.