Chapter 3 #2
"You're an idiot if you think you are too much trouble." Nicole's fingers curled around his. "I've always seen what you are capable of even when you can't. Even when you stopped writing, and I convinced myself you'd forgotten about me, I still saw you."
Something shifted in Felix's expression—hope, or was it relief? Mayhap even something too complex to name.
"Then you agree to give me a real chance?" His words were rushed, and he inhaled deeply before continuing, "You’ll allow me the opportunity to prove that I'm not the rake everyone thinks I am. Let me show you that what I feel for you is real."
Nicole looked at their joined hands, at the way his fingers dwarfed hers, at the calluses on his palms that spoke of a man who did more than just sign papers and attend balls.
An image of Felix as a boy, too focused on perfection to dance, floated before her, and then she looked up at the man next to her, who had just confessed his deepest fear.
She loved him as a boy, and she still did; there was no denying it.
The hurtful memories of the past three years gave her pause, yet a tiny, treacherous spark of hope had ignited in her chest. "All right," she whispered.
Felix’s hand tightened on hers. "You agree?"
"I do, along with a few requests."
"Name them." The eagerness in his tone and gaze had her questioning her sanity.
Taking a moment to collect her thoughts, Nicole discarded her wishes for more kisses and focused on what mattered most. "First, no more parading me about the public for show. I don't want to be ambushed again."
"Agreed."
"Second, I want to discover who you are now, and that will take time."
"I can do that."
"And third—" Nicole took a deep breath. "If at any point, I ask you to stop, to allow me space, you have to respect that regardless of the wager."
Felix's expression sobered. "Of course. Nicole, I would never—"
"I know." She squeezed his hand. "But I needed it to be said."
"I agree to all your conditions." He raised her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, his eyes never leaving hers. "Thank you for giving me this chance. I won't waste it."
"You'd better not," Nicole said, trying to sound stern but landing somewhere closer to breathless. "If you break my heart, I'll tell your brother about the time you cried during that production of Romeo and Juliet."
Felix's eyes widened in mock horror. "You wouldn't."
"Och, I absolutely would."
"You're ruthless."
"I'm Scottish. It comes with the territory."
Felix laughed—a real laugh, unguarded and genuine—and something warm unfurled in her chest. This was the boy she remembered. This was the Felix who'd made her feel like she was more than enough and could conquer the world.
He released her hands, took up the reins, and the curricle started forward once more.
They drove in comfortable silence for a few minutes, before Nicole gradually became aware of the stares and whispers that followed them.
But this time, they didn't make her want to disappear.
This time, with Felix's solid presence beside her and his earlier words echoing in her mind, she ignored the chatter and simply enjoyed the fresh air and the feel of sunshine upon her cheeks.
"I’d like to get to know more about you too," Felix said abruptly. "Tell me something I don't know about you."
Nicole considered. "I hate embroidery."
"That's not exactly a revelation. You hated it when you were seven too."
"Fair point." She thought harder. "I've been teaching myself Greek."
Felix's eyebrows rose. "Greek? Why?"
"Because I wanted to read Homer in the original language. And because my governess said it was too difficult for a girl to learn, which made me determined to prove her wrong."
"Of course, it did." Felix's smile was fond. "Have you succeeded?"
"Mostly. My pronunciation is probably atrocious, but I can muddle through the Odyssey."
"That's remarkable."
Nicole shrugged, uncomfortable with the praise. "It's just a hobby."
"It's more than that. It's proof that you're brilliant and stubborn and exactly the sort of woman who would lead a duke about rather than follow him blindly. A woman this future duke was in dire need of."
Nicole's chest tightened. If he continued with his declarations, she would wed him before the week's end. She reminded herself that he’d ignored her for three long years; she needed to stay strong and truly discover the man next to her. "Felix—"
"Your turn," he said, clearly changing the subject before she could respond. "Ask me something."
"All right." Nicole thought for a moment. "Why did you and Reginald start the switching game?"
Felix was quiet for so long that Nicole thought he might not answer.
Then he said, "Because it was easier to be someone else.
When we switched, I could pretend to be Reg—charming, confident, at ease in any situation.
And he could pretend to be me—serious, responsible, the heir everyone expected.
We could be whoever we wanted, as long as we weren't ourselves. "
"That sounds exhausting."
"Not at first. In the beginning, it was liberating, but now it’s become rather vexing." He sighed. "It was supposed to be an innocent game, a way to keep people at arm's length. If no one knew which twin they were talking to, then no one could get close enough to matter."
"Except me."
"Except you." Felix's gaze found hers. "You always knew which one of us was which. Even when we were trying our hardest to fool you."
"You had different tells. Reginald fidgets when he's nervous. You go very still."
"Hmm. I’ll have to share that with Reg, so we’re not caught.
" His laughter was forced as if he was nervous, then he added, "No, I won’t, for we won’t be switching ever again.
” His voice was raw, even a tad sad. Had playing the role of the spare heir been that important to Felix?
Nicole couldn’t see how lying to others could be beneficial, but then again, she’d been shut out of his life for years.
They'd completed a full circuit of the park, and Felix guided the curricle back toward the main streets of London.
Nicole was acutely aware of the eyes following them, the whispered conversations, the speculation.
But she was able to sit straight with her head held high, with Felix's steady presence beside her.
He was her shield. And when his shoulder brushed hers with each turn, combined with the warmth in his eyes when he glanced over at her, the rest of the world seemed to melt away along with her worries.
Mayhap being courted by Felix wouldn't be so terrible after all.
As they rolled to a stop in front of her residence, Felix asked, "Same time tomorrow?"
"You're very persistent."
"I have a month to convince you to marry me. I can't afford to waste a single day."
She swallowed the bubble of laughter and attempted to frown but failed. "Very well, tomorrow, at one rather than two… and I choose the activity."
"Agreed.”
Nicole stared at him for a moment - Would he always be so agreeable?
“Tell me what you would like to do, a picnic? Climb a tree?"
She grazed the tip of her finger over the scar he’d obtained the last time they’d climbed a tree together. "You shall find out tomorrow."
Felix helped her down from the curricle, his hands lingering at her waist a moment longer than strictly necessary. "You're enjoying this, aren't you? Keeping me in suspense?"
"Immensely."
"I deserve any punishment you wish to serve upon me," he said with a smile. “Until tomorrow, Nicole.”
"Until tomorrow, Felix."
His smile broadened as his name slipped from her lips. With a tip of his hat, he set the curricle in motion, and she watched him drive away.
When she turned to head in, she nearly bowled over her father, who was standing right behind her.
His expression knowing, he asked, "Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Are you going to give him a chance?"
Nicole pondered for a moment, recalling Felix's confession, the vulnerability in his eyes, the way he'd looked at her as if she were something precious. With a sigh, she answered, "I think I already have."