Chapter 4
Four
"You're staring again," Reg remarked, handing Felix a drink.
Lady Tilbury's ball was a crush as expected. Felix stood at the edge of the ballroom with his brother, while Nicole sat with the wallflowers as usual. Except tonight she didn’t have her head down staring at the tips of her slippers.
Nicole wore a gown in a glittering sapphire blue that brought out her eyes, and her hair was arranged in soft curls that framed her face.
She looked beautiful, and he couldn’t tear his gaze away from her.
After twenty-four days of carefully orchestrated outings, Felix was both hopeful and anxious for the upcoming week.
The iceberg that Nicole’s trust was encased in appeared to be slowly thawing, but there were still moments where Felix caught her retreating away from him, especially in the company of others.
When it was the two of them, Nicole was her warm, confident self.
He wanted to make her apprehensions disappear whenever they were in public, but despite his efforts, she retreated into her shell of defense when surrounded by their peers.
He’d called on her every day, sometimes twice.
Nicole laughed the most during their daily drives in Hyde Park.
He would run commentary on the comings and goings, and she seemed to relax in the safety of their miniature private world in his curricle.
In contrast, she was a bundle of nerves when they strolled through Kensington Gardens; not once did she allow herself to enjoy the flowers she was skilled at arranging, a hobby he would never have guessed Nicole favored.
His favorite outings were those they attended in the evenings.
He’d invited her and her father to attend the opera in his private box, and there in the dark, she allowed him to hold her hand.
Nicole’s enthusiastic energy flowed through him, mirroring the high and low notes sung upon the stage.
Not only was Nicole intelligent and insightful, challenging him at every turn, she also had the most calming effect upon him.
As long as she remained by his side, the daunting stack of estate ledgers and the crushing weight of his Father’s responsibilities no longer seemed impossible to wade through; instead, they had become trifling tasks to be completed before the day's end.
And while he’d sat through more musicales than he had thought humanly possible, Felix was content seeing Nicole’s smile.
Music set her at ease. While she enjoyed the performances, he soaked up her profile, remaining attentive and unfailingly proper.
He was also driving himself slowly mad. Every moment spent with Nicole reinforced what he'd known since he was ten years old: she was perfect for him.
And he wanted her with an intensity that bordered on obsession.
Reg’s eyebrow rose and fell. What asinine quip had his brother made?
Ah, he remembered and claimed, “I’m not staring, I’m merely admiring.”
“Along with half of the other guests tonight.” Reg raised his glass in the air as he scanned the room.
“Which, I might add, is all due to your overzealous attentions.
" His twin took a long sip of champagne before asking, “Have you perused the Book at Brooks lately? It’s full of wagers with yours truly featured. Will the future D of S become leg shackled or will he flee? Or my personal favorite. Is the Honorable M of M reformed or merely a rake?”
Felix grimaced. "I have, and I personally detest them all but especially the latter.”
"Why? Because they are referring to you as the Marquess of Marshall or because they believe you to be a rake?"
"Because…Those bloody wagers make it sound like I’m some sort of villain who needs saving."
"Aren’t you in need of saving?" Reginald's tone was mild, but his gaze was sharp.
Felix's hands clenched at his sides. The truth cut deep. Placing his empty glass upon the salver of a passing footman, he asked, “Are you going to stand here all night while the vultures start to circle?”
"Vultures? What vultures?" Reg clapped him on the shoulder. "Ah… you mean those gentlemen over there?” His brother’s gaze fell upon a group of young lords staring at the wall of wallflowers. “I doubt any of them are a threat, although Nicole did appear quite charmed by Lord Paxton last week."
Felix’s jaw tightened at the memory. Witnessing Nicole dance with another man had been torture, even though he knew it was necessary.
She needed to see that other men found her attractive, that she had options beyond a rake who'd cornered her in a library.
Plus, he wanted her to ultimately choose him over all others.
"You really ought to thank Lady Anne," Reg said, breaking Felix’s train of thought. He followed his brother’s gaze, which had drifted across to the other side of the ballroom. "She appears to be holding court with half of the eligible gentlemen here this eve, lessening your competition."
Felix hadn’t missed the jealous edge in Reg’s tone. He flickered his gaze away from Lady Anne, who stood surrounded by admirers, over to his twin. "You should ask her to dance."
"Mayhap, yet I’m not the sort to be governed by duty or etiquette." Reginald's expression was utterly unreadable, yet as Felix studied Red, he recognized himself. Reg looked upon Lady Anne with the very same fervor he harbored for Nicole. “One of us must remain a rake.”
"Reg—"
"Oh, don’t start lecturing." Reg straightened. "Besides, unlike you, I'm not ready to make a fool of myself. Go ask Nicole to dance before some other dandy does."
Felix didn't need to be told twice. He crossed the ballroom with purpose, ignoring the whispers and stares that followed him. Nicole’s gaze locked upon him as he approached, a glimmer of surprise or pleasure in her eyes.
"Miss Nicole," he said, extending his hand. "Would you do me the honor of this dance?"
Nicole flickered a glance at the other wallflowers, who were watching with apt interest. With lips barely curved, she replied, "I would be delighted, my lord." She placed her hand in his, and he led her directly onto the dance floor, acutely aware of every eye in the ballroom following them.
He escorted her to stand next to the other couples who were awaiting for the orchestra to begin.
Felix positioned his hand at Nicole's waist, and she placed hers on his shoulder. Nicole made the crowd disappear, much like she had made his father’s presence disappear all those years ago.
Gaze locked solely on Nicole, he asked, “Ready?”
"Shouldn’t I be the one asking that of you?"
There she stood right before his eyes, the brazen and brave Nicole he loved. Felix's breath caught. He was hypnotized by her, and he’d willingly do whatever she wished. The music swelled, and he led her through the waltz like he should have when he was ten.
Nicole followed his lead effortlessly, her body moving in perfect synchronization with his. She didn't look at the others around them; she simply stared up at him, and it was as if he was treading upon clouds.
"It seems my toes are safe," she teased.
"They are. All because I found the right partner." Felix laughed. The rusty sound surprised him. When had he last laughed while dancing? When had he ever really laughed?
She mirrored his laughter, and the sound went straight to Felix 's chest. This was what he wanted—Nicole laughing, smiling, being herself without fear or reservation.
"Thank you," he said quietly.
"Why are you thanking me?"
"For giving me this opportunity to court you properly. For not turning away when I made a complete fool of myself in that library. For dancing with me even though half the ton is watching and judging."
Nicole's gaze held his. "I would have thought you accustomed to all the attention by now, being a rake and all."
"A rake? Me? Do you really believe I was the one who did all those devilish deeds?"
"I know it was Reginald who was pretending to be you, but you never denied it. You played along and let others believe the worst. Why?"
Felix's hand tightened at her waist. It was time to confess the truth, "Reg should have been born first, not me. He’s a natural leader. Whereas I’m—"
She squeezed his hand hard and interjected, "Don't… Don’t say anything more."
He didn’t utter another word. He couldn’t even if he wanted to.
Thankfully, his feet moved of their own accord, and he didn’t tread upon her toes, this time.
Dimly aware of the other dancers, of the music, of the crowd and their whispers, Felix held onto Nicole, who was smiling up at him as if he were the only man in the world. The waltz ended too soon.
Felix reluctantly released Nicole, but before she could step away, he caught her hand. "Take a stroll with me. Please. For a moment."
Nicole glanced around the ballroom, then nodded. "Lead the way."
He scanned the room. There were far too many about.
To hell with propriety; he was a renowned rake.
Why not utilize his reputation to his advantage?
Felix led Nicole through the crowd and out the terrace doors.
The night air was cool and welcome after the stuffiness of the ballroom.
He headed toward the gardens, where shadows pooled and the sounds of the ball faded to a distant murmur.
"This is highly improper," Nicole said, but she didn't sound concerned.
"I know. But I need to speak with you… provide you with the explanation you deserve. And I’m not referring to the polite conversations we’ve had in the drawing room with your father listening, or the careful words we exchange in public where anyone might overhear."
"What are you on about?"
Felix turned to face her, his heart pounding. "I want to discuss matters about us. About what happens…" He paused to take a deep breath.
Nicole's expression became guarded, and she finished his sentence for him. "There is time. We have another week remaining to be together."