Chapter 4 #2
What did she mean? He wanted her forever, not for a mere week.
Desperate to be nearer to her, he bridged the gap between them, close enough to see the gold flecks in her eyes and smell the faint scent of lavender that clung to her skin.
"This isn't about the stupid wager, nor is it a game for me, Nicole.
It never was. Every moment I spend with you, every conversation, every smile—it's real.
I'm not playing a role or pretending to be someone I'm not.
This is me. The real me. And I'm terrified that I’m not enough. "
"Felix —"
"Please… Let me finish." He took a shaky breath. "I know I’ve not been the man you deserve in the past. I’ve treated ladies carelessly and with time limits. But with you, there are no rules. There's no end. I… I love you."
Nicole was quiet for a long moment. Then she reached up and touched his face, her palm cool against his cheek. "You haven’t changed, have you?" she said softly.
Felix 's heart sank. "I know—"
"No, you don't." Her thumb traced his cheekbone. "You didn’t believe in yourself at the age of ten, and even a decade later, you still don’t know yourself or know what you are capable of, do you? But I see you ,Felix Martin. I saw the man you would become, the duke you will be, and I was so deeply in love with you… but you hurt me. And even though I knew it wasn’t you who was flirting with anything that wore a skirt, your silence was more heart breaking than anything else.”
What an arse he’d been. He’d never fully apologized for ignoring her for the past three years. “I’m sorry.” Felix's throat tightened, and he couldn’t utter the rest of his apology.
"I'm scared of being hurt again," she whispered as her hands fell to her side.
"I'm worried that this is all a dream, and I'll wake up and you'll be gone.
I'm terrified that I'm not pretty enough or charming enough or whatever enough to keep your attention. What if what the others say is true, that a Scottish Baron’s daughter doesn't belong in your world?
That you'll wake up one morning and wonder why you ever wanted to marry me. "
The words hung between them, raw and vulnerable. Felix's chest constricted painfully. How could she not see herself the way he did? How could she not understand that she was the only woman who had ever truly mattered? "Look at me," His voice was rough, barely controlled.
She did as he requested and tilted her head up, those blue eyes swimming with unshed tears.
"You want to know what I see when I look at you?
" This time, it was he who cupped her face in both hands, his thumbs brushing away the moisture that had begun to spill down her cheeks.
"I see the girl who made a gangly boy of ten feel like he could conquer the world.
I see the woman who challenges me, who refuses to let me hide behind false charm and a questionable reputation.
You are so bloody beautiful it makes my chest ache every time you walk into a room. "
"Felix—"
"I'm not finished." His forehead pressed against hers. "You think you're not worthy of me? I’m nothing without you."
She pressed her lips to his, and he forgot the rest. It wasn't like their previous kisses—tentative explorations, careful testing of boundaries.
This was desperation, need, and years of longing finally unleashed.
Her hands fisted in his coat, pulling him closer, and Felix groaned against her mouth.
His fingers threaded through her hair, scattering pins across the pebbled path never to be found again, and he didn't care.
All he cared about was the taste of her, the feel of her body pressed against his, the small sounds she made as his tongue swept into her mouth.
"Oh, God, help me," he breathed against her lips. "I want you. All of you..."
She pulled back just enough to look at him, her eyes dark with desire. "I want you, too." Nicole initiated another kiss, one that obliterated every thought of propriety.
“Ahem.”
The tap on his shoulder had Felix ready to swing at the fool who had dared to interrupt him. Fist back, he stared at his twin.
“Good god, Reg. I was about to…”
“You two have been missing far too long.” His twin took Nicole by the wrist. “It’s time we returned to the ball.”
“Over my dead body,” Felix declared as he stepped in front of his brother.
“If no one knows for certain which one of us was out here with Nicole, then—”
“I’ll obtain a special license in the morn. There is no need to switch places with me, Reg. I’m going to marry Nicole regardless.”
Rather than appearing terrified, Nicole simply looked up at him with one brow arched. “Are you really?”
He nodded and confessed, “I've loved you since I was ten years old and you let me lead you around the dance floor.
I've loved you through every letter I wrote but never sent, through every year I stayed away believing it to be for the best, through every moment I watched you sitting along blasted walls next to an empty seat that I wished was occupied by me.
" Felix's heart felt too large for his chest. "Marry me.
Not because of some ridiculous one-month rule or because I declared it in a library.
Marry me because you want to. Because you love me as much as I love you. "
Nicole’s eyes were wide as saucers. “I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you be so eloquent.”
“Is that a yes?”
"Yes, Felix. I’ll marry you." Her words sent his world spinning.
He picked her up and kissed her again, ignoring his brother’s appeals for decorum. When he finally set her down, he looked at her and grinned. "Your hair is a disaster."
Quick as a whip, she replied, "Your cravat is ruined."
Gazes locked on each other, they burst into laughter, the sound bright and free in the darkness.
"I don't care," Felix said, pressing a kiss to her temple.
Reg swung an arm over Nicole’s shoulders and asked, "Do you care?”
She shook her head, “I do not." Nicole's smile was radiant. “I shall be wed by this time tomorrow, will I not?"
Felix said, “You have my promise.”
He escorted Nicole back to the ball, while Reg did his best to block the curious eyes that tracked their every move. With the support of his brother and Nicole, he was unstoppable.