Chapter 12
It was midnight by the time the sleeping draft had Markos asleep at our door.
Without speaking, we both pulled on our soldier jackets over our undershirts, which were starting to look more brown than white.
We took turns washing them and hanging them to dry at night, but with only one set each, and no soap, there was only so much Collum and I could do.
We made our way down the hallway, careful to step over the sleeping guards that appeared every few feet.
It had been three days since my conversation with Leif, and I didn’t know why, but I hadn’t disclosed what I had learned with Collum.
I had thought about it, thought about questioning her regarding why she hadn’t told me.
But just like with the black book still hidden in my cell, something told me not to.
Something told me that what had happened between Leif and I was private and to be kept secret.
Though it was apparent Astrid already knew.
The kitchen was already full when we arrived, and I gazed around, searching for Astrid, who wasn’t present—something that immediately set off a warning in my mind. But like everything else I had started keeping to myself, I kept this too.
Leif was there though, leaning against the wall on the other side of the room, his arms crossed lazily over his chest. Though the light was dim, I could still spot the glimmer in his light blue irises as he glanced my way.
Nerves buzzing, I took the same place I had during the last reading, leaning against the back wall, expecting he would come to talk to me.
But he didn’t. In fact, he kept his gaze pointedly away from mine.
My heart slumped.
“Welcome, everyone, to another reading,” Collum said at the front of the room.
She made quick introductions, then started talking about her coven.
I let her words become background noise as I took in her posture and the way her gold-rimmed eyes lit up as she talked about herself and her coven. Something panged in my chest.
“Hi.”
I jolted my head to the side so fast I nearly bumped noses with Leif, who was now standing next to me. My eyes widened.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”
I fought to turn my gaze to the front of the room, to ensure Collum wasn’t upset that we were talking again.
“Here.”
Before I could ask what he meant, his large, warm hand encircled mine and he pulled me through a door on the back wall.
It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, as it was much darker in here than in the kitchen, and when they did, I took notice of all the bags of grains and dried vegetables.
Combine that with the strings of onions and herbs hanging from the ceiling, and I knew this had to be some sort of food storage room. My shoulders relaxed.
“That’s better.” His voice was a bit louder as he nudged the door closed, leaving a crack so a small bit of light could filter in. “I don’t want your cousin getting upset again.”
“I understand.” My reply sounded lame, even to myself, my tone of voice not quite right. Without Milo to practice with regularly, it was becoming harder and harder to maintain the voice I had trained for twenty-five years.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, suddenly much closer than he had been a moment before. In a panic, I took a step back, only to trip over something and fall flat on my butt.
I couldn’t help the squeak that escaped me as I tried to catch myself.
“Did you . . . did you just squeak?” His voice was breathy.
“Maybe?” I grimaced as I rubbed my hip, which was sure to be sore come tomorrow. “Is that a problem?” I prodded, hoping he would admit if he suspected me of lying about my identity.
“No, it was cute. I just . . . I’ve never heard anyone squeak before.”
I understood what he wasn’t saying. He had never heard a male squeak before.
I kept silent though, as I moved myself into a sitting position, desperately searching my brain for an excuse as to why I would squeak without having to give away my secret.
“It’s okay, though. Maybe I squeak when I fall too,” he added before I could come to any conclusion.
“Maybe,” I replied, staying silent as I watched his figure move through the dark storeroom until he was sitting next to me on the wooden floor.
“Sorry if I scared you again,” he apologized. “I’m just not used to . . . this.”
Now that he was close, I felt the same energy flowing between us that had been there before. I bit my lip. “Used to what? Having to ask people before touching them?”
“Sort of . . . yeah.” His voice was sheepish.
The way he said it made me think of something, but before I could fully evaluate the thought, it was gone, leaving me wondering what it was. I curled my arms tighter around myself.
“You’re just not like anyone I have ever met.”
The words had butterflies fluttering in my stomach. In all my conversations with Roger, the butcher’s son who was once my crush, he had never said anything close to that to me. But for as warm as it made me feel, I didn’t really know how to respond. “Um . . . thanks?”
He slapped a hand over his face. “This is . . . embarrassing.”
“Embarrassing how?” My grip on my upper arms loosened slightly.
“I just . . . I feel so drawn to you. I know you just met me, but I feel like I’ve known you forever. And I keep saying the wrong things.” He groaned. “I’m just making this worse on myself, aren’t I?”
I shook my head, thinking back to the energy I always felt flowing between us. “I feel strangely attracted to you too—”
“Really?” A wide grin filled his face. “I knew it. I knew I couldn’t be the only one feeling the energy. Ever since I came and talked to you during the last reading—”
Since he had interrupted me, I didn’t feel bad about interrupting him back. “But there can never be anything between us.”
The words hung heavy in the too-thin air of the storage room.
“. . . What makes you say that?” He breathed at last. I didn’t even need the empathy power I had read to know I just crushed his budding dreams.
I rolled my thoughts through my mind, trying to figure out how to turn him down as nicely as possible. I motioned to myself, even though he probably couldn’t see it in the dark room. “People like me, we don’t get happy endings.” It was easy, resolute, and hopefully not painful for him.
“What do you mean like you?”
I swallowed. I hoped he would leave it at that, but I had thought of a backup plan, just in case. I rolled up my sleeve, displaying the brand.
He let out a gasp. “What is that?”
I shrugged. “Viscount Adis’s initials, I suppose. I belong to him now. I will never leave here. At least, not alive. There is no way for me to have a happy ending.”
He was quiet for a long moment, his eyes narrowing and widening as he tried to see the details of the brand in the low light. Finally, I rolled my sleeve down.
“What if I told you I could help you escape?”
His words were so quiet I didn’t fully understand them the first time he said them, but when comprehension did sink in, I found myself leaning away. “There isn’t anywhere for me to go, in Ralheim, I mean. I have no family—other than Collum.”
Leif shook his head. “I didn’t mean help you escape to town. I meant to my coven. They live in the hills near Malheim. They have been against Viscount Adis since he came into power. They will hide you. I know it.”
I probably should have asked more questions, but I couldn’t help the hope that bloomed in my chest. “They would do that?”
“Absolutely. They love me, and I know they would love you too.”
My mind drifted, imagining myself living in the woods, away from Ralheim so Milo could have his life, while also finally being allowed to have my own. Of course, I would have to tell Leif my secret but—
“I’ll tell them next time they send word that you are coming with me. And then once we are there you can stay in my hut and I’m sure we can find a job for you—”
“Wait.” I felt bad that I was interrupting again, but I needed to know. “You are leaving too?”
“Of course.” His grin was back, the small sliver of light from the door reflecting off it. “You didn’t expect me to make you run there on your own right?”
I sucked on my lip, my eyes catching the barest glimpse of the room beyond, my cousin’s voice barely tickling my ears. “But what about Collum?”
His gaze went to the door as well, his grin fading. “You can invite her, but . . . I’m not sure she will come. I also worry . . .” He trailed off. “Invite her anyway. If she wants to come, my people will help her too.”
I wasn’t stupid. “You worry what?”
He sighed, running a hand through his blond locks. I couldn’t help but notice how attractive he was with his hair mussed. “I worry that she won’t want to go.”
“Why wouldn’t she want to go?”
He pinched his eyes shut, bringing his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath before letting the words tumble out, “Because no matter how much I like you, I cannot deny that our covens are engaged in a sort of war.”