Chapter 17 #2
I had never heard that explanation before, as my parents had always said they were a sign of a bind from hell—something the Seid would not tolerate.
But something about the way he said it made much more sense, as it would still adhere to the one-child policy without the needless loss of life.
That caused an anger toward my parents to flicker inside of me, but I snuffed it out.
I would delve into those emotions later.
“I’m one of a set of twins.” I breathed as I kept my gaze everywhere by on Leif, scared for what I would find there.
But when nothing happened, I turned back to find him . . . confused?
“So?” The corner of his lip quirked up. “What does that have anything to do with this?”
I didn’t reply, checking the area over my shoulder one more time to see the men preparing for bed. My time was running out. “I’m the female twin of my brother. He’s actually the one who’s named Milo.”
The color drained from Leif’s face, and he appeared to be fighting to keep his eyes on my face. I had never told anyone before, and I wondered if this was a normal reaction.
“What? . . . But . . .” He shook his head. “But . . .”
“That’s why I can’t be your weighted,” I said sadly. “You don’t know who I am enough to be attracted to me.”
Leif opened his mouth, presumably to argue, but he closed it again soon after, shaking his head.
“But I can’t talk about this now. I have a special mission for Otho. You have to leave.”
Pain clouded his features, but he nodded and stepped away, disappearing into the darkness.
I couldn’t lie to myself, his reaction hurt. I don’t know what I had been expecting, but it was definitely something along the lines of the fact that he would still think we were weighteds, even if my gender wasn’t what he expected. At least I hadn’t gotten my hopes up too high.
I leaned against the nearest tree, thinking of our conversation over and over, until a shadow walked from the camp to where I was standing, his figure only visible because both moons were in the sky tonight.
Heimland was one of the few worlds blessed with two moons, or so we’d been told. They often traversed the sky together, though they maintained separate paths to keep the balance. They were small moons, but when both were in the sky, it was easy to see during the night hours.
There was a bundle tucked under Otho’s arm, which he held out to me. “Change into this,” he whispered, his voice lacking the edge it had when I had spoken to him earlier in the day.
I took the bundle, intending to step into the tress to change, but he turned his back to me. “I won’t look, I swear.”
“Thank you,” I replied, and even though it still wasn’t privacy, it was enough for me to slip off my worn uniform. It felt weird to undo the band around my chest in public, and as soon as it was gone, I couldn’t help but breathe in deeply. It was amazing how much air I could suck in without it.
“You okay?” he asked in a tone slightly louder than a whisper.
“Fine,” I promised as I took a final deep breath and slipped the dress he had packed over my head.
It was simple—similar to the fashion I had seen Friar wear.
It wasn’t long, only falling to my knees, as breeches were meant to be worn underneath it for traveling. But it made it easier to ride a horse.
The breeches were easy to pull on, but once that was done, I struggled to tie the belt on the back of the dress on my own. Men’s clothes never had these, and I hadn’t realized how hard it was to tie the bow without looking.
“Do you need help?” Otho asked at last, probably tired of listening to my frustrated huffs.
“Please,” I whispered, turning my back to him just as he turned around to help.
The belt was tied in moments, and I immediately felt dumb that I hadn’t been able to do it on my own.
I spun back around to apologize for my idiocy, but Otho was already holding something else out to me.
“This is a more formal dress, which you might need when we reach the front lines. But until then, you’ll wear the traveling dress.
” I nodded as he held out a third scrap of fabric.
“A nightgown for you when we are no longer on the road.”
“Where did you get these?” I smoothed down the front of my dress, curious how he had been able to get clothes that fit me so well in just a couple of days.
“They’re Friar’s. You two are of similar size.”
I swallowed and bit my lip at her name. I hoped she was okay with me borrowing these. “How long is the journey?”
“Another full day. We should arrive there tomorrow night.”
I knew it was time to admit what had been bothering me all night. “I didn’t bring a bedroll.”
Otho let out a breath. “Shit, I didn’t think of that.”
Silence settled between us.
“It’s okay, I’ll just sleep on the ground on my pack. I’ll be fine,” I fibbed, even as I already felt myself shivering. The dress was much lighter than my soldier uniform, and with my breasts free for the first time in their life, they were already cold.
“Nonsense. You’ll take my bedroll,” he insisted, already taking steps toward the camp.
“But—”
“No excuses. You’re a lady now; I can’t possibly allow you to sleep on the ground.” And with that, he stalked off toward camp, leaving me to jog to catch up.
I hoped this wouldn’t be a normal occurrence.