Chapter 27 #2
“No, keeping going,” I lied a second time. I knew from what I had heard during my coming-of-age talk that the pain should dissipate. I needed him to keep going, it was the only way.
I didn’t want to reflect on this day and remember pain.
He began to move, and though the pain did fade, it took a long time for me to find the same burning need that I had when we had started.
But he didn’t give up, giving me the pressure I needed on my clit as well as spending an inordinate amount of attention on my nipples, until I couldn’t stop my body from moving against his and I finally found the edge once more.
Though I had brought myself to orgasm before, there was something so special about having someone else bring you to one, which I realized as my world spun and the tension I had previously felt melted from my muscles.
I went limp, but he kept moving, his hips thrusting as he brushed a sweaty piece of hair from my face.
Soon, his breathing was heavy, alongside mine. “I’m close,” he whispered in my ear, his breath sending shivers down my spine. I was still so out of breath it was all I could do to nod.
He moaned a final time as I felt him flex inside of me. “I’m coming.” His voice shook as his body did just before he let his elbows bend, coming to rest beside me on the bed, his cock still inside me.
We lay there for an indescribable amount of time while we both caught our breath. Then, when he pulled out of me, I winced as a small twinge of pain came back. “I’m sorry.” He ran a finger down my check. “Next time will be better . . . nicer . . . I promise.”
I nodded, glad I was able to push through the pain. While it hadn’t been the best experience, I knew that the next time would be amazing. It had to be. I would accept nothing less.
This was what love was. The warmth which circulated through my blood, the security I felt as his arms held me and his head rested against mine.
Leif moved first, cleaning me up with a rag from the bathing room before tucking me beneath the bedcovers, enclosing me in his arms, and pulling me close to him.
Though I enjoyed the physical touch, and the warmth that he provided, I couldn’t help but feel something was off.
I don’t know what I expected of my first time being with a man, but it wasn’t that.
Especially not with the way Leif had talked up weighted relationships.
And after everything Leif had said about weighted the day before I was . . . disappointed, to say the least.
“Leif?”
“Hm?” he replied, sounding like he was falling asleep. Maybe he was.
“Was that what you expected of our first time?”
“Absolutely. It was everything I dreamed and more.”
While his words should have provided me with reassurance, they didn’t. I didn’t know what I had wanted him to say, I just knew it wasn’t that.
We remained like that, cuddling naked until the knock came at the door.
Our time was up.
With one last lingering kiss, Leif rose from the bed, pulled on his clothes, and headed for the door.
This time, I relished in the calm of finally being alone.
I was summoned to Hansen the next day, unsurprised when I arrived and found him worse for wear. He sat at the table, instead of standing, his eyes had bags underneath them, and it appeared as if he had barely slept. His hair was the most unkempt I had ever seen it.
Still, he reached a hand in my direction, a book clasped in it. I bit my lip as I accepted it, not missing the way his knuckles were whitening with the strength of his grip.
I didn’t want to ask, but the empathy gift I had read into myself before was nudging me, and I knew it wouldn’t rest until I did. “Sir, are you sure about this? After—”
He cleared his throat, rising from the table. “Yes. My son, who is a seeker, looked this one over.”
My mouth dropped open at the revelation. If Hansen had a seeker on staff, why was I reading? “You have someone else who can read?” My words were barely above a whisper.
“Just the one seeker, how else do you think I got these books?” He motioned to the one in my hands, which felt warm to the touch. “But I need him to devote his time to seeking, which is why I need someone else to read.”
Something wasn’t right here. The empathy magic I carried was quiet now, but something else in my chest warned me that I needed to keep pressing this.
I had gone on for far too long simply existing, allowing these governments to use my abilities for their own gain.
Allowing men to tell me what to do to benefit them. It ended now. “But you said your son—”
“My wife, who was executed in the Purge, was the one who passed on the knowledge to him when he was young. Too young for him to be able to teach anyone or explore the depths of reading. I am just lucky he was born with the seeker affinity.”
The room spun. It still didn’t add up. “But why go through the effort of kidnapping me to read—”
He arched an eyebrow. “And force my son to struggle to read a power that could curse him?” My mouth went dry and I felt my blood leaving my face.
Hansen, noticing the expression on my face only chuckled.
“Adis didn’t tell you then, that while most of these books contain harmless powers that can be ended on a whim, some carry a cost, one which isn’t clear until the reading is complete.
While I agree the whisper situation we got ourselves into was less than ideal, I’m just glad it wasn’t something that couldn’t be negated. ”
The book fell from my hands as everything he was saying sunk in. “But you would risk a curse on yourself?”
“Of course, my dear.” Hansen chuckled, which was wildly out of place considering the power I had just recently severed myself from.
“A good ruler knows that the best gifts also come with the worst curses. I just won’t drag my son to the same fate.
That’s called consent.” He clicked his tongue, indicating to the book where it rested on the stones.
My stomach soured. I knew what he wasn’t saying.
His son was too special, but me, a woman he had taken from a cabin in the woods in the middle of the night, was not.
“Now, read. We have wasted two days already.”
I was still in shock from the revelations that I reached for the book as if I were in a dream, flipping open to the first page, and beginning my reading.
Although there were words coming from my mouth, I wasn’t truly there, my mind comparing everything I had just heard with what I had already been told.
I truly hadn’t realized that reading could be so dangerous for me.
My attention torn between the open book in my hands and the mindless reading, I didn’t even notice someone else had entered the room during my reading. At least, not until my voice ran dry, and I looked up to request some water—
Only for my gaze to connect with none other than Leif’s deep blue ones as he leaned against the wall by the door, a handsome smirk on his face.
“Leif.” My lips outlined the words as my chest warmed, but there was no sound behind them.
“Ah, yes, I forget you were already acquainted with my son.”
My world dropped out from under me.