Chapter 27
The next morning came with the realization that I had officially been away from my twin for a season, as there was a notification with breakfast that the dying season was ending, meaning it would officially be the dead season on the morrow.
In the meantime, I would have to struggle through the darkest night of the year alone.
The one during which neither moon deigned to rise.
Although Milo and I hadn’t always seen eye to eye, he knew how much the darkness scared me. For a reason, I had never been able to put into words.
I often wondered, when the gods had designed this world, why they had created a sun that needed rest. As well as why both moons couldn’t take their vacation from the sky on different nights. It was something I resolved to ask, if I ever got the chance to meet them.
But the gods hadn’t been seen, or heard of, for over a millennia.
My mother had said they’d gone on to make other worlds—worlds which needed a guiding hand more than this one—and she was confident they would return someday.
But when I’d asked my father, he’d said our world was a failed experiment and that the gods had abandoned us for something new.
When I was younger, there had been festivals on the moonless night before the massacre of those with Seid lineage had scared everyone of the dark. Back when my parents were alive.
I missed those days and knew I would spiral if I thought about them now, so I forced the thoughts from my mind.
Whether or not the gods would return to guide us was unknown.
In the meantime, I would continue on as I had been for far too long, as a prisoner, but unable to know where I would go without someone telling me what to do. Hopefully, these days were almost over, and I could finally be free.
But that brought forth a whole new host of fears.
I wasn’t sure what life would look like with Leif’s coven, but I hoped I would be able to have a garden and some potion supplies.
I would spend my days tending to the flowers and then mixing them into the hand creams and cures I’d developed.
I’d share them all with the coven, for free, if I could.
Then, as my years came to an end, I would develop a book to explain everything to a protégé.
A protégé I would save from a fate she did not desire.
A smile ghosted my lips at the image behind my eyelids.
I didn’t get to dwell in my daydreams for too long, though, because before I knew it, Leif was pushing open the door, a smile on his face as he crossed the room and collected me in his arms.
Our lips met in a heated kiss and I was reminded of how rapidly Leif had become a person of comfort for me. I relaxed in his arms.
He was the one to break the kiss. “I missed you,” he whispered into my hair as he rested his head on mine.
“You saw me just yesterday.” I giggled.
“It’s never enough,” he mused. “I want you with me all the time.”
“Well, when we go to your coven—”
He cut me off. “I’ll still have work here, unfortunately.”
“When?” I pressed, desperate to have control over my own life once more.
“Soon.” He brushed a strand of hair that had fallen from my braid. “I promise, as soon as I know when, I will tell you.”
My chest fell, but at the same time I trust he was working as hard as he could to free me.
Though, I had always enjoyed my alone time, I hoped that we would have more than borrowed time when I was finally out of here, finally done reading.
Hansen hadn’t called me yet that day, but I knew he would.
He was probably ridding himself of the whispers as Leif led me over to the bed, sitting down before pulling me between his legs and interlocking our lips once more.
“I want you,” he whispered when we broke apart for breath. “I wanted to wait, but I’m not sure I can,” he admitted.
While his words awakened something in me, the arousal was mixed with despair. “So, you won’t be able to sneak me out anytime soon?”
He shook his head. “I had hoped to use tonight, but there is an event, and I don’t think we would be able to sneak past the servants.”
My ears caught on one of the words, a spark flickered in my chest. “Event?”
His lips met my neck in a quick kiss, then, “Yeah, Ralheim doesn’t celebrate the night of no moons?”
It was hard to stay focused on the conversation as his hands and lips roamed my body. “Not anymore. Not since the Purge.” The last word was a whisper.
I didn’t need a verbal answer to know he understood. “Let’s focus on something else,” he replied wisely as his hands played with the hem of my dress, which had somehow ended up in his hands. I wanted to ask if we could attend the event, but I already knew what the answer would be.
And I was eager to give my body to Leif.
Although I wanted this next step, craved it even, I felt nervous as I gave my consent and he pulled the dress over my head, leaving me in just undergarments.
Though it had now been several weeks without wearing my chest band, it still felt weird to be without it, especially in moments like these, where I felt exposed and vulnerable, missing the tug of the cloth across my breasts, which had become a comfort over the years.
His gaze roamed my figure, and there was no mistaking the hunger in his eyes. But something else flashed there when his stare finally met mine. “Don’t worry, you look beautiful.”
I shook my head, then, realizing that could be misconstrued, I explained, “I have never done this . . .” I motioned between us. “Before.”
“It’s okay,” he assured me. “We can take it slow and stop at any time, okay?”
He barely waited for my nod before pulling my face to his, his other hand palming my breast in a way that sent a delicious warmth to the place between my legs.
I didn’t follow his next movements, but suddenly he was lying back and I was stretched on top of him, the lack of material covering my body making it easier to feel his arousal.
Like the day before, I reached down to rub him on the outside of his pants, my breaths quickening as his did.
“What about being interrupted?” I asked, bringing up his words from the night before.
“That’s the beauty of the event.” His breathing was labored, his eyes hooded. “The servants are too busy to check in.”
I didn’t feel as calmed by his words as he did, but I trusted him, giving in to the feeling of his lips dancing with mine.
He moaned into my mouth before pushing me back so he could undo the buttons on his pants.
I watched as his cock sprang from its confinement.
My heart rate sped up at the thought of what was coming, and I fought to settle the butterflies that raged in my stomach.
Not sure what else to do, I reached a hesitant hand forward, resting my hand on the middle of his length.
I’d heard the boys at school talk about this part, even though I had never partaken.
“Like this,” he whispered, his large hand coming to cover mine, adding pressure as he directed it up and down.
He guided me for a moment, but then I must have been doing it how he liked it, because his hands returned to my chest to remove the underwear which kept my breasts in place, his eyes widening even further as he took in my naked chest.
I couldn’t help it; I blushed under his gaze.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, shifting us again so we were side by side. I returned my hand to pumping his cock, while his hands explored my chest, his hands leaving a trail of sparks everywhere they moved. Then he was dipping his chin and taking one of my nipples into his mouth.
The sensation was amazing, and I don’t know how it was possible, but the heat between my legs increased.
He kissed a wet trail down to the edge of my undershorts, then his blue eyes met mine as they silently asked for permission.
I nodded, unable to form words at the sensations he was currently igniting in my body.
He peeled my undershorts from my legs, tossing them across the room before kissing a path up the inside of my leg.
I wondered for a moment where he was headed, but then his lips sealed over my clit and it was all I could do not to buck off the bed.
Though I had been told about these types of actions when I had come of age, something about this situation felt nothing like what I had been told. I hadn’t been told it would feel like I wanted to melt. Like I never wanted to be anywhere but here ever again.
I moaned as he continued his ministrations, his fingers playing with my entrance. He continued there for a few moments before giving me one final kiss and making his way up my body.
“I can’t lie to you,” he whispered as he leaned over me. “This will probably hurt. I’ve done all I can to make it nice for you.”
I knew what he was talking about, and honestly, I expected it. I forced a smile on my lips as I caressed the side of his face and fought to control my breathing.
I could handle a little pain; the tattoo was proof of that. “I can take it,” I whispered.
He pressed his lips to mine again as he moved his hand down to pump himself a few times. “Are you ready?”
Unable to formulate words, it was all I could do to bob my chin.
That was all the permission he needed as he lined himself up with my entrance, pushing forward just a bit before pausing. One of his hands went to my breast, the other to the back of my neck as he thrust forward.
I fought the urge to cry out as pain seared through my midsection—I had to bite my lip to keep my mouth closed. I had been expecting pain, but it was much more intense than I had imagined.
I didn’t realize I had pinched my eyes closed, or that there were silent tears running wet paths down my cheeks, until he kissed them away. “Are you okay?” he asked, concern lacing his words as he held himself above me.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I lied, not wanting to ruin this moment.
“You don’t seem okay.” I felt his fingertips brush against my forehead. “Do you want me to stop?”