Chapter 2
‘How did it go, honey?’ her mother called as Ella closed the front door behind her.
She fought against the irritation that bubbled up inside her. But jeez, couldn’t she at least have a minute to take her coat off first?
‘Really badly,’ she replied, unwinding her scarf as she walked down the hall.
‘Oh no.’ Her mother and her aunt Nora turned to her as she stood in the doorway to the kitchen.
All her annoyance melted away, and she couldn’t help smiling.
They were sitting at the table, a bottle of red wine open between them.
They were keeping vigil, she realised with a pang of tenderness.
She felt bad now that she’d delayed coming home straight after the interview.
But she’d felt in need of some time alone to decompress, so she’d walked through town and had a look around the shops, then treated herself to an early evening movie at the cinema.
She’d always enjoyed going to the movies on her own, and loved being able to indulge in such simple pleasures once again.
‘Have some wine and tell us all about it,’ Nora said, lifting the bottle.
Ella nodded and took a glass from the cupboard. She shrugged out of her coat and sat down between them.
‘Have you eaten?’ her mother asked. ‘There’s some lasagne in the fridge, if you want it.’
‘Thanks, but I had a hot dog at the cinema. I’m not hungry.’
‘So, tell us about the interview.’ Nora poured a glass of red and slid it across the table to her.
Ella did what she always did when sharing something painful or humiliating.
She turned it into a joke. She was fully aware that she used humour as a defence mechanism, to deflect mockery and hide her hurt.
Did that self-awareness make it okay that she was turning her life into a comedy routine?
It was probably only a matter of time before she started doing gags about her period.
But true to form, she was funny and self-deprecating as she recreated her dismal attempts to field Jake and Dylan’s bizarre questions, and her mother and Nora were an appreciative audience, laughing in all the right places.
‘We never got asked things like that in our day, did we, Ruth?’ Nora said, turning to her sister.
‘No, we just got asked if we were planning to have children.’
‘That’s illegal!’ Ella said.
‘Oh, I’ve had worse.’ Nora topped up her glass. ‘I was once asked if I’d be willing to dress sexy and flirt with customers to get them to spend more. It was for a job in a car showroom.’
‘That’s outrageous!’ Ella shrieked. ‘I hope you told them to shove it.’
‘Of course I did.’
‘You worked in a car showroom.’ Ruth narrowed her eyes at her sister.
‘Well… I said they could shove it unless they upped my commission.’
Ella tried to look disapproving, but couldn’t help smiling.
‘I made a fortune at that place. The blokes I worked with were furious! They were on 15 per cent, and I was on 25 per cent. Ritzy place it was too – Mercedes and BMWs and that, so there was good money to be made.’
‘Well, it is a bit unfair, I suppose,’ Ruth said.
Nora shrugged. ‘They could have worn low-cut tops and short skirts if they’d wanted to. Though much good it would have done them. None of them had my assets.’
‘So when will you hear about the job?’ Ella’s mother asked her.
‘Oh, I don’t need to wait to hear. I know I didn’t get it.’
‘Come on now,’ Nora said. ‘You never know. Think positive.’
Ella shook her head. ‘No, I definitely didn’t get it. I walked out.’
She watched their faces carefully, and there was just a second where she caught a flicker of disappointment, worry and confusion.
It was gone in an instant, but she still felt she had to explain herself, to make them see that she hadn’t recklessly thrown away an opportunity to earn some decent money and get back on her feet.
‘I knew it wasn’t going to work out. They wouldn’t have hired me anyway, so I called an end to it before they did. ’
‘Good for you!’ Nora said staunchly.
‘Absolutely!’ Ruth agreed. ‘You don’t need those silly boys with their idiotic questions.’
‘So you just walked out?’ Nora was looking at her admiringly, which made Ella feel very proud of herself, because her aunt was pretty sassy.
‘Yep. I thanked them for their time, said it wasn’t going to work, and walked out… straight into the stationery cupboard.’
There I go again, Ella thought, as they collapsed in laughter. But she could hardly complain about being the butt of the joke when she was the one telling it.
‘Yeah, it did kind of take the shine off my grand exit.’ Jake and Dylan (or Tweedledum and Tweedledee as she’d started to think of them) had been very nice about it, playing down their amusement as they rescued her from the cupboard and ushered her out.
Dylan had even walked her through Reception to the main door.
But she had no doubt they’d collapsed in giggles as soon as she was gone.
They’d probably spent the rest of the day laughing about it – probably regaling the rest of the staff with it too.
Oh well, at least she’d never see either of them again.
‘Speaking of inappropriate questions,’ Nora said, ‘the other day I got asked if I like it up the bum.’
‘What! Now, that is definitely illegal.’
‘Not on dating apps it’s not. Anything goes there.
Still, I must admit I was a bit shocked.
I mean, a complete stranger just coming straight out with it like that – as if he was asking me if I like Thai food or something!
’ She sighed. ‘Times have changed. There were no bums when we were young, were there?’ She appealed to Ruth.
‘I’m pretty sure there were always bums.’
‘Yes, but they weren’t… out there. At least, I certainly never came across them. They’re a whole thing now. Bums! I’m telling you, it’s a different world.’
Ella spluttered, trying not to laugh and almost choked on a mouthful of wine.
‘I mean, it used to be you’d warm up to stuff like that, get to know each other first. Now people just put it out there on their dating profile – I enjoy long walks on the beach, Coldplay and giving anal.’
‘Well… two out of three’s not bad?’ Ruth said.
‘Yeah, but Coldplay is a deal-breaker.’
Ella laughed. Maybe she wasn’t the only one who tried to make light of her disappointment by laughing it off. Poor Nora. ‘Men!’ She rolled her eyes and topped up their glasses, draining the bottle.
‘You’ll have to deal with it when you start dating again,’ Nora said to her. ‘Best to be prepared.’
‘Well, I’m glad I cashed in my chips before bums became a thing. Will I open another?’ Ruth asked, already standing.
‘Yeah, it’s definitely a two-bottle night,’ Nora said.
‘I’m not in any hurry to start dating,’ Ella said. ‘I’m just concentrating on finding a job for now. One thing at a time.’
‘Very wise.’ Her mother placed another bottle on the table.
‘It’s lovely to see you getting back on your feet.’ Her aunt put a hand over Ella’s and gave it a squeeze. ‘And don’t worry, I’m sure something else will turn up soon.’
‘Yeah. For you too,’ Ella said and they smiled at each other sympathetically. ‘Oh, I got something for you!’ She leaned down to root in the satchel at her feet and produced a thick travel brochure, placing it on the table between her mother and aunt.
‘Ooh, lovely!’ Nora smiled, pulling it towards her. ‘A nice bit of armchair travelling.’
‘Where will we go next?’ Ruth moved her chair closer to Nora’s, looking over her shoulder as she flicked through the pages.
‘It’s about time you did some travelling for real,’ Ella said. ‘You know, where you go to an actual airport—’
‘With actual luggage that almost gives you a hernia getting it off the carousel,’ Ruth joined in dreamily. ‘Surly security staff patting you down and making you take your shoes off.’
‘Eating terrible airplane food,’ Nora said wistfully.
‘Getting bitten by mosquitoes and ripped off by dodgy taxi drivers.’ Ruth sighed.
‘Delhi belly and sunburn, and drunken trysts with awful foreign pick-up artists.’
‘The scary toilets!’
‘The enormous creepy-crawlies!’
‘You make it sound so appealing.’ Ella laughed.
‘Oh, but then there’s setting off at dawn along dusty roads with that special early-morning smell in the air.’
‘The sunsets!’
‘The sunrises!’
‘Warm seas. Empty deserts. Chaotic markets.’
‘The smells, the sounds… the food!’
‘Oh God, the food,’ Ruth sighed.
‘So do it!’ Ella said. ‘Now that I’m back to feeling like myself, there’s no need for you to be stuck here any longer. You can finally go on that big trip you’ve always talked about.’
Her mother looked at her doubtfully. ‘I don’t know. It’s a bit soon, isn’t it? I know you’re getting better, but I wouldn’t like to leave you on your own just yet.’
‘Maybe next year,’ Nora chimed in.
Ella’s heart sank. They’d already put it off for years, thanks to her, and she hated it.
She didn’t know how to say it, but they weren’t getting any younger, and she knew all too well that you couldn’t count on the future.
Things changed, plans fell apart. There was no knowing where they’d all be next year, what would be possible for them.
‘I’d be fine here on my own,’ she protested, but she knew it was futile. There’d be no persuading them.
‘What if you have a flare-up?’ her mother said.
‘I could manage. Anyway, you’d only be gone for a few months. I haven’t had a relapse in ages. What are the chances I’d have one just when you happened to be away?’
‘I know you can cope, but it’s not just that. I don’t like to think of you rattling around here on your own when you’re just finding your feet.’
‘I’d be fine, Mum. You have to cut the cord sometime. I’m ready.’
‘Well, you may be, but I don’t think Nora and I are just yet.’
‘No,’ Nora agreed. ‘We wouldn’t enjoy ourselves anyway if we were worrying about how you were getting on all the time.’
‘We’ll do it next year, when you’re more settled.’
‘And in the meantime, we’ll have loads of time to organise it all – sure, planning a trip is half the fun!’ Nora said cheerfully.