Chapter 27
‘Will Vince be there?’ It was Friday night, and Roly and Ella were on their way to a party in Charlie’s apartment.
Roly shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Probably.’
Ella nodded, looking out the window at the passing traffic, wishing she were going anywhere else. She felt jittery and on edge, and couldn’t shake off a horrible sense of foreboding.
‘You look great,’ Roly said, smiling at her and taking her hand. ‘Wow, your fingers are cold.’ He closed his hand tighter around hers. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah, I’m fine. Just… I don’t know. Nervous, I guess.’
He frowned. She knew it wasn’t like her. She wasn’t particularly shy. She couldn’t explain it to Roly, but the thought of being among that crowd again brought back bad memories and filled her with dread.
‘No need to be nervous,’ he said, his thumb stroking over her knuckles. ‘There’ll be loads of people you know there.’
That was the problem, but she couldn’t say that to Roly.
* * *
Later she stood by the windows in Charlie’s apartment looking out at the glittering lights of the Aviva Stadium, the scene of Roly’s triumph.
It was hard to believe it was only a week since she’d watched him on stage there.
It had set in motion a chain of events that would change Roly’s life – and probably hers too.
Maybe it was already changing, she thought, sipping champagne from her crystal flute.
After all, she was spending Friday night here instead of at karaoke with her work colleagues.
She felt a pang at the thought of it, wishing she could be there singing duets with Dylan.
‘Hi, Ella! Good to see you.’ Charlie joined her at the window, breaking into her thoughts.
‘Charlie.’ She turned to him and smiled, and he kissed her cheek. She’d always liked Charlie. He’d been a better friend to Roly than any of the others. ‘Nice place you’ve got here.’
‘Yeah, thanks. So, you and Roly…’
‘Yeah. We’re together now.’
He nodded. ‘He seems really happy.’
‘Yeah.’ She looked across the room at Roly, who was talking to Liam and a woman she didn’t know. She smiled. ‘We both are.’ She turned back to Charlie. ‘Were you surprised?’
‘I was, to be honest. I mean, no offence. But I’d seen some stuff about him and Pippa getting back together.’
‘It’s fine.’
‘But I’m glad. Pippa was never any good for him.’
Ella began to relax as the evening went on.
Her stomach lurched when she saw Vince come in, but she managed to stay out of his way.
It wasn’t difficult – he seemed more interested in huddling over a table with his business partner Larry, doing lines of coke.
Everyone was friendly and she chatted to some interesting people.
To her surprise, she was quite enjoying herself.
Maybe she’d been silly to be scared, and it was a good thing she’d come so she could lay her ghosts to rest. The last night she’d spent around these people hadn’t been good, but that was a long time ago.
They’d all grown up and moved on. Across the room Roly detached himself from the group he was with and came towards her.
‘Having a good time?’ he asked when he reached her.
‘Yeah.’ She nodded. ‘You?’
‘Yeah, but I’m kind of ready to go home, if you are.’
‘Why?’ She laughed. ‘Is it making you horny?’
‘Well, well, well, look who the cat dragged in,’ a voice said behind her. She spun around to see Vince glaring at her with cold, spite-filled eyes. ‘Vince.’ Roly acknowledged him as he joined them. ‘You remember Ella?’
‘Oh, I certainly do.’ Vince crossed his arms and stared at her implacably. ‘How could I forget our own little Mata Hari?’
‘Huh? What are you talking about? Why would you call her that?’
‘I must say I thought we’d seen the last of you,’ he said, ignoring Roly and talking to Ella.
‘You’ve got some neck showing your face here, after what you pulled.
’ His gaze darted between her and Roly. ‘And Zack tells me you two are together now. What is it?’ he asked Roly. ‘Some kind of Stockholm syndrome?’
Roly frowned. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ He put his arm around Ella protectively.
‘We were just leaving,’ Ella said quickly. ‘Nice seeing you again, Vince.’
‘I can’t say the same about you, sweetheart.’
‘Come on, let’s go,’ she said to Roly, her heart beating wildly. Vince was talking as if he knew. But how could he? The only person who knew what she’d done was a man named Robert Casey and he wasn’t at this party.
Roly shook her off. ‘No, I want to know what he’s shiting about. What are you trying to say, Vince? What’s this Stockholm syndrome crap?’
‘I’m just trying to figure out why you’d be with her after everything that happened.’ He looked at Ella. ‘You must be one amazing fuck.’
‘Shut the fuck up, Vince!’ Roly moved to grab him, but Ella held him back. ‘How dare you talk to her like that?’
‘Or is it that you’re some kind of masochist?’ he said to Roly. He turned a cold gaze on Ella. ‘Well, I have my eye on you now, sweetheart. You fucked this up for him once, but I won’t let you do it again.’
‘What the fuck are you talking about, Vince?’
‘Oh my God!’ Realisation dawned in Vince’s face. ‘You don’t know, do you?’
‘Know what?’
‘I’m talking about how it all ended for you the last time. Why we had to cut you loose.’
‘That has nothing to do with Ella!’
‘Doesn’t it?’
Oh Christ, he really did know! Ella felt sick with fear.
All she wanted was to get Roly out of here before Vince said any more.
She didn’t want Roly to hear it from him, not like this.
She had to get him away so she could tell him herself.
Why hadn’t she told him when she had the chance? She prayed she hadn’t left it too late.
‘You’re talking crap,’ Roly said to Vince. ‘We all know why I got kicked out of the band.’
‘I do. Ella does, don’t you, darling? But I’m not sure you do. Why don’t you ask her?’
God, he was poisonous. He was relishing this. ‘Come on, don’t listen to him,’ she said, taking Roly’s arm. Her mouth was so dry she could barely get the words out. ‘He’s just high. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.’
But Roly shook her off. Vince had got under his skin as he always did. Roly looked unnerved.
‘I got kicked out because I fucked up,’ he said, but he didn’t sound so sure any more.
Vince shook his head. ‘You’d been fucking up for a long time before that.’
‘But then people found out. It went public.’
‘Because someone sold you out.’ Vince looked directly at Ella, his eyes flinty. When Roly turned to her, she felt she couldn’t breathe.
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Roly said, his voice jagged with fear.
‘Who was it who was always nagging you to go into rehab?’
She could see the doubt blooming in Roly’s eyes. She forced herself to hold his gaze.
‘She would never.’
‘Ask her!’
Roly shook his head, swallowing hard. His eyes were wide and panicked. She could feel him slipping away from her.
‘Tell him.’
She glanced at Vince and she wanted to slap that smug smirk off his face. But she couldn’t lie to Roly – not outright. She looked at him and nodded, unable to speak.
Vince gave her a triumphant smile. ‘Well, I imagine you two have a lot to talk about. I’ll leave you to it.’
‘It was you?’ Roly hissed as Vince walked away. ‘You ratted me out to that journalist? You sold a story on me—’
‘I didn’t sell it—’
He fell silent, staring at her dumbfounded. ‘Why?’ he asked finally. ‘Why would you want to ruin my life?’
‘I wanted to save your life.’
‘Fuck off! Jesus, I can’t believe this! You took away everything. I could have been the next Robbie Williams.’
‘You could have been the next Kurt Cobain.’
‘That’s stupid. I would never have done that.’
‘Not with a gun. That’s the only difference.’
‘God, I can’t believe you made me think— All this time I thought you were my friend. You let me think that you— Shit!’ His eyes glittered with tears and her heart twisted.
‘I am your friend, Roly.’ She tried to touch him, to reach him, but he jerked away from her hand as if she’d tried to hit him.
‘I was scared for you. I couldn’t stand to see you killing yourself and I couldn’t think what else to do.
’ They’d been talking in hushed voices, but she was aware of eyes on them.
‘I should have told you,’ she said, dropping her voice to a whisper. ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.’
‘That’s what you’re sorry for?’
‘Can we just get out of here, talk about this somewhere else?’ she pleaded.
‘There’s nothing to talk about. Just tell me one thing. How much?’
‘What?’
‘How much did you get for selling me out? I hope it was worth it.’
‘I didn’t get money for it.’
He huffed a bitter, scathing laugh. ‘Well, that was dumb of you. It must have been worth… ooh, at least thirty pieces of silver.’
‘I just wanted you to get help.’
‘And you thought taking a wrecking ball to my life would help, did you?’ His voice had risen and he was shouting at her now, his eyes wet with tears. He looked heartbroken, and she couldn’t bear that she’d hurt him. ‘Jesus, no wonder I didn’t see your heels for dust after I came out of rehab.’
‘I couldn’t still be your friend and not tell you. So I thought it was easier to just… let you go. I only did it because I love you.’
He shook his head emphatically. ‘You don’t do that. You don’t betray people you love. You don’t lie to them, and trick them into—’ He took a heaving breath that was almost a sob.
‘I wanted to tell you, Roly.’
‘Well, it’s not like you haven’t had plenty of opportunity. You seem to have done just fine keeping it to yourself the last few months.’
‘Please can we go and talk about this at home.’ There were tears pouring down her face now, splashing onto her collarbones.
‘You can go wherever you want. Just get the fuck away from me!’ With that he turned on his heel and stormed off in the direction of the kitchen, leaving her standing by the window with everyone staring. There was a moment’s hushed silence before the murmur of voices started again.
Ella swiped her hands across her eyes, then made for the door. She kept her face averted as she passed Vince on her way to the exit, but she heard his whisper in her ear. ‘Karma’s a bitch’.