Chapter 20 #2
I’m cut off mid-gush by a woman standing by the lobby entrance. She’s staring at us. Or rather, she’s staring at Luke.
She’s pretty. In a cute red dress with thick dark hair pulled back into a French braid. A designer bag hangs from her shoulder, a navy blazer draped over her arm.
“Oh my God!” She laughs. “It is! Hi!”
“Alison.” The sound of her name on his lips seems to shake Luke from his stupor and he jerks forward, kissing her on the cheek. “How are you?”
“I’m good. I’m surprised to see you here.” Her eyes flick to me as she smiles, welcoming me into the conversation. “I don’t think we’ve met.”
“No.” An unfamiliar jealousy spikes through my previous glow. I don’t know what to do with it. “I’m Abby.”
“Abby had an interview,” Luke says.
“You did? Here? That’s great.” She sounds like she means it.
“I’m actually doing some consultant work with them.
They’re good people.” She adjusts the strap of her bag, glancing back at Luke.
“We used to live together,” she explains when he doesn’t say anything.
“Years ago. In this crappy little house in Rathmines.”
“You were roommates?” I ask. Romantic roommates? Roommates with benefits?
“Along with four other people and a stray cat that Jeremy insisted on feeding. It threw up on my bed once. No! Twice.”
Luke clears his throat, more uncomfortable than I’ve ever seen him. “How is Jeremy?”
“He’s good! Got a job at RTé as a radio producer. He’s loving it. My partner,” she says to me, and I almost wilt in relief. “You should have told me you were coming up. He would have loved to see you.”
“It was kind of a last-minute decision,” Luke says awkwardly. “Next time.”
“There better be a next time. You disappeared on us! How’s home? How’s your dad?”
“It’s good. He’s good.”
Alison hesitates, finally picking up on his weird energy. To her credit, her smile doesn’t change. “That’s great,” she says. “Do you guys have time to grab a drink or—”
“We should head back,” Luke interrupts. “Get ahead of the traffic.”
“Sure.” She’s surprised. I know she is because I am too and while I have a feeling she wants to say something more to him, maybe she can’t with me there. “Well, hey, anytime you want to invite us for a countryside getaway, that’s fine by me.”
“Definitely.” Luke smiles like he just remembered how to. “It was great seeing you.”
“Yeah. Crazy.” They hug. Awkwardly. And then she turns to me. “Abby! Congratulations, well done, good luck. Maybe I’ll see you in there someday.”
“Hopefully. It was nice meeting you.”
“You too!” She steps back, pressing the button for the crosswalk. “I guess I’ve got an oven to scrub and dry cleaning to pick up. Teenage me would be horrified.”
And with that she’s off, winding her way through the stationary traffic toward a bus stop across the street.
“She seems nice,” I say after a beat.
Luke doesn’t answer, only turns on his heel and walks in the opposite direction, glancing once over his shoulder to make sure I’m following.
It takes me a few seconds to catch up with him and when I do, I have to say, I’m a little annoyed.
“Is she an ex or something?”
“No,” he says quickly. “Nothing like that. She was a friend. Is a friend.” He pauses at another crosswalk, jabbing the button.
“You’re acting like you owe her money.”
“She looks different, that’s all.”
“What did she used to look like?”
“Nothing… it’s not…”
I’ve never seen him look so agitated before. Like he can’t get out of the city fast enough. He reminds me of me in those last few days in New York. When all I wanted to do was escape.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say as he struggles to find the words. “Don’t worry. It’s none of my business.”
And strangely, it’s those words that seem to break through to him.
“I just didn’t expect to see her,” he says. “A million people in this city and of course I bump into one of the few people I know.”
“Louise said you used to live here.”
“For a while.” The light goes green and we walk across together.
“I went to college with Jeremy,” he explains.
“Her partner. He got me a room in his house share. It was horrible. The back door didn’t lock and the boiler only worked for an hour a day but we were all broke and didn’t care.
Especially Alison,” he adds after a pause.
“She did not have a job as… whatever it is she does now. When I first met her she was working as an independent tour guide and self-publishing experimental poetry pamphlets. And Jeremy once crawled under the neighbor’s shed as a dare and got stuck.
We had to call the fire department. Jeremy who’s now a radio producer at the national broadcaster. ”
“People change,” I remind him when we reach the other side. “They grow up.”
“They do. I know they do. It’s just I was supposed to grow up with them.” He glances at me, looking almost embarrassed. “I know you think I’m moving forward, but you’re not the only person who feels like they took a step backward coming home.”
Luke came back from Dublin to help .
I still, remembering what Louise had said about Pat’s accident. I knew he came back because of his dad but I thought he’d stayed because he wanted to. I’d assumed it was where he wanted to be. But what if it wasn’t? What if he cut short a different life here? One I have no idea about.
“I was rude,” he sighs now. “I’ll email her when we get back. Arrange something.”
“You should,” I say. I think about Jess and how easily I almost let her go. How I definitely would have if she weren’t so stubborn. “She seems nice.”
“She is nice. She’s…” He trails off with a frown. “You thought she was my ex?”
“I…” Crap. “She’s very pretty. And the way she was smiling at you, I thought you might—”
“You’re getting flustered.”
“ No. I am full of adrenaline from my interview.”
“Were you jealous?” The idea appears to cheer him up, and while I’m glad he’s in a better mood, I wish it wasn’t because he could see right through me.
“Let’s go back to you being upset,” I say.
“I wasn’t upset. I was thrown. It’s completely different.”
“You looked like you wanted to run back to Clonard if it meant getting out of there faster.”
We pass a pub, already busy with people sitting outside, enjoying the summer sunshine.
“I can’t imagine you living here,” I say, squeezing around a group of construction workers. “You’re basically Mr. Clonard.”
“Do I get a tiara with that?”
“Did you like it?”
“Dublin? Sure. I liked being away from home. I liked being around people who didn’t know who I was. Meant I could be someone new.”
“And who were you?”
“Kind of slutty, if I’m honest.”
I burst out laughing.
“It was the best coming here,” Luke continues. “Not having to worry about what people thought of me or what would get back to my parents. The clubs, the bars—”
“The STDs.”
“I was very safe, I’ll have you know. That video they showed us in school scared the life out of me.”
“Not all of it, apparently.”
“Well, what about you?”
“Me?”
He starts walking backward down the empty street, facing me. “You. Before Tyler.”
Before Tyler…
He grins when I don’t say anything. “Uh-oh.”
“Not uh-oh.”
“I can see you choosing what you want to tell me.”
I shake my head, which only makes him smile harder. “When you spend a lot of time with the same people in a charged atmosphere things get intense. Plus I was one of only a few women in my job, so it wasn’t like I was starved of attention.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that was the reason.”
“Excuse me?”
“Come on,” he says. “You’re beautiful, Abby.” He stops walking when I do, again with that stupid smile on his face. “Are you blushing?”
“No.”
“You are. You’re embarrassed.”
“It’s warm!” I say, pressing my hands to my cheeks, which okay, are a little heated.
“I didn’t mean to make you blush.”
“Yes, you did,” I grumble, but he’s still smiling at me and I like that he is so I don’t push it. “The accent worked for me as well,” I say. “Not so much of a novelty here though.”
“No. Definitely one of the downsides of moving home.”
I start walking again but he doesn’t, so two steps bring me straight to him.
“Thank you for bringing me today,” I say, peering up at him. “It could have been a disaster.”
“I wanted to,” he says. “Even if I pretended I didn’t.” His eyes widen then and he takes a step back. “I almost forgot.”
My heart skips a beat as he opens the Brown Thomas bag but he sees the look on my face immediately. “It’s Mam’s birthday present,” he says before I can get ahead of myself. “But you don’t come away completely empty-handed.”
He draws out a bar of chocolate and tosses it to me.
“First thing you need after an adrenaline rush like that,” he says as my mouth waters at the sight of it.
“You’re a lifesaver.”
“You don’t think I noticed you eating all those eggs at the Fun Day?” He smiles. “Well done on the interview.”
I rip it open, not realizing how hungry I was. But I shouldn’t be surprised, I’ve barely eaten anything all day. “Do you want some?” I ask, or at least I try to around the four squares I just bit off. It is with supreme effort that I don’t moan at the taste of it.
He shakes his head, looking pleased. “It’s for you.”
We start walking again, slower now as we turn the corner toward the car. I’ve almost finished the whole bar when he speaks again, ruining my good mood.
“I’m going to talk to Beth.”
“No. Luke—”
“Yes,” he says calmly. “As soon as I get back. I’m going to tell her how I feel about you and we’ll take it from there.”
I don’t say anything, folding the wrapper into a tiny square. How he feels about me. How’s that for a vague statement? But I know nothing I say now will deter him. And I know that’s right. That’s what adults do. They talk.
“Just…” I sigh. “Be nice, okay?”
“What do you think I’m going to do?”
“Please.”
He pauses, realizing how serious I am. “I will be.”
“And gentle. Be gentle.”
“Abby—”
“Maybe buy her some flowers.”
“That’s a bit of a mixed signal, don’t you think?”
“I guess.” I slump against the door. “I just don’t want to hurt her.”
“Neither do I.”
“I also don’t want her to be mad at me.”
“So talk to her too.”
We look at each other over the roof of his car. Again, he makes it sound so simple.
“You ready to go home?” he asks when I don’t respond.
I nod and this time I don’t correct him.
Home .