Chapter 21
It’s late by the time I get back. The driveway is empty, meaning Tomasz must still be at work, and there’s only one light on in the upstairs landing.
I let myself in as quietly as I can, leaving my shoes by the door as I hurry up the stairs but Louise calls my name as soon as I reach the top step.
“I’m back,” I yell, slipping into my bedroom. “Traffic was a nightmare.”
“Could you come in here?”
“Give me a sec!” I strip out of my clothes and pull on a pair of pajamas, tying my hair into a loose ponytail, but when I stick my head into her bedroom, the room is empty.
“Abby?”
Her voice calls from the back of the house and I turn, my fuzzy socks sliding along the floorboards. “Where are you?”
“Bathroom.”
“Are you alright?”
No answer. The door is open but there’s no light on. Starting to feel like I’m in the middle of a scary movie, I flick the switch to see Louise sitting fully dressed in the empty bathtub, her knees drawn to her chest.
We stare at each other.
“Why are you sitting in the dark?” I ask eventually.
“It kind of just got dark around me.”
“…Okay.” I do a quick scan for any obvious injury, thinking maybe she hit her head but there’s nothing. “What’s happening right now?”
A tiny frown appears on her face. “I think I’m pregnant.”
I wait for the punchline. Maybe that is the punchline.
Maybe it’s not.
“You think you’re pregnant?” I ask carefully, and my next thought is that she could have had a miscarriage. Horror fills me as I glance around the room but there’s nothing out of place. Except for my sister in the bathtub.
She holds up something in her hand. A pregnancy test. I move instantly toward her, arm outstretched, but she hesitates.
“I peed on it.”
“I don’t care.” I take it from her, examining the little blue plus sign. “And this means yes?”
She nods. “The box is over there.”
I read that too, not trusting her. “And you’ve tried—”
“I’ve done three different ones,” she says, straightening her legs with a wince. She must have been in there for hours. “What do you think it means?”
“What do I… I think it means you’re pregnant, Louise.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“This is a good thing, right?” I’m confused by her reaction. “You said you were trying.”
“We are. We were. I guess we don’t need to try anymore.”
“No.”
“Because I’m pregnant.”
“Yes.”
Her frown deepens. “The stick says so.”
“It does.” I hand it back to her and she cradles it in her hands.
“Do you want to get out of the bath?” I ask. “Maybe come downstairs and we can talk about it?”
“Not really.” She looks up at me. “Do you want to come in?”
I stare at her, waiting to see if she’s joking. She’s not.
With a sigh, I climb carefully over the side. She draws her legs back up to make room for me and we fold them over each other so we can both fit. It is, shockingly, not comfortable at all.
“I haven’t taken a test in weeks,” she says, looking almost guilty. “And I’ve been so busy I didn’t realize I was late. It was only after we talked the other day that I even thought to check.”
“How far along do you think you are?”
“I have no idea.”
“And you’re feeling okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m just…”
“Processing.”
“Mm-hm.”
“Because you’re pregnant.”
And finally, finally the first hint of a smile. “Yeah.”
“You’re going to have a baby,” I insist because she still doesn’t seem to be getting it. “Have you told Tomasz yet?”
She shakes her head. “I didn’t want to. I wanted to be sure.”
“I’d say three positive pregnancy tests is pretty sure. But you two should go to the doctor tomorrow.”
She takes a ragged breath. “Yeah.”
“You know what this means, don’t you? No more coffee. Or soft cheese.”
“I don’t like soft cheese.”
“Well, then you’re grand.”
She laughs a little hiccup and leans her head back. “Ow,” she mutters, adjusting herself around the faucet.
I smile at her, at my big stupid sister. “I’m going to be an aunt. The cool aunt. The cool rich aunt who spoils her whenever I see her and feeds her too much sugar before handing her back to you without any of the consequences.”
“Her?”
“I have a feeling it’s a girl. What do you think?”
“I have no idea.” She puts the stick carefully on the side of the bath before placing her hands on her stomach.
“It’s down a bit.”
“I know.” She scowls, but slides her hands down to where her baby rests.
“Are you scared? It’s okay if you are.”
“I know ,” she says, sounding more normal now I’m annoying her. She shifts against the side of the tub. “My leg is cramping.”
“Because you’ve been sitting in the bath all night. Are you sure you don’t want to call Tomasz?”
She shakes her head. “Let him work. I want to tell him in person, and if I ask him to come home, he’ll just worry and...” She trails off with a sharp gasp.
“What? What is it?”
“How did your interview go?”
I gape at her, my heart racing. “That is not important right now.”
“It is,” she insists. “I can’t believe I forgot to ask. I got you some chocolate and everything.”
I sit back, my turn to be annoyed as I realize every time she so much as stubs her toe I’m probably going to freak out. “It was fine.”
“That’s it? Tell me how it went.”
“You’re so weird.”
“Please,” she says. “I’m too nervous. I don’t want to talk about it. Talk about you.”
She’s starting to panic, her hand rubbing tiny circles into her stomach as if her baby is already several months and not several days old.
“It went fine,” I repeat, trying to sound as soothing as possible. “I said what I needed to say. I don’t know who I’m up against, but if the odds are in my favor, then I’ve worked hard enough to meet a little luck.” I pause. “We bumped into a friend of Luke’s,” I add. “She works with them.”
“Oh yeah? What kind of friend?”
“An old roommate. I thought she might have been an ex but Luke said she wasn’t.”
“You asked him that?” She seems surprised. “You actually like him, don’t you?”
There’s no point in denying it so I just nod.
“Because he got hot?”
“ No ,” I say. “Though, yes, that’s what started the initial attraction. You think I’m that shallow?”
“Kind of.”
“He’s just Luke.” I don’t know how else to explain it.
At least not in way that doesn’t make me sound like a complete stalker.
I don’t know how to tell her that running into him that first night feels more like fate whenever I think about it.
How whenever I look at him, I feel safe and warm in a way I never have before, even when I was with Tyler.
I don’t know how to tell her but she must hear it in my silence because she stares at me, her hands stilling on her stomach as she turns suddenly serious.
“What are you going to do?” she asks when I don’t continue.
“I don’t know. I’m not sticking around here. He knows that.”
“Does he?”
“I haven’t given him any indication otherwise.”
“That’s not the same as him knowing. You need to make that clear if you’re going to pursue each other.”
“No one’s pursuing anyone. He’s not the stable boy, Louise.”
“Look, obviously a lot has changed since you left. Luke’s a grown man and you’re a grown woman and you can do what you like. But just be careful. Actions have consequences and you never know what someone’s thinking. Don’t get his hopes up and leave, okay?”
“I haven’t even gotten the job yet.”
“And if you did get it? Would you take it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.”
I pick at my nails, not able to meet her eyes. “Well, what would you do?”
“Abby.”
“If it were Tomasz,” I push, “what would you do?”
She sighs. “I don’t know. There’s never been a choice between Tomasz and something else. Maybe I always chose him and it never occurred to me to do otherwise.”
“It’s only been a few weeks,” I say. “When we were kids doesn’t count. I’ve only known this version of Luke for a few weeks.”
“I knew Tomasz was the one the first night I met him.”
“You were drunk,” I scoff.
“And I still knew. Do you know what he did when he introduced himself?”
“Made a speech about rising sea levels?”
“He kissed my hand.”
“I can’t believe you’re a secret romantic.”
“He kissed my hand,” she repeats with a smile. “And we talked all night. And in the morning, even though it was raining he went out and bought me a coffee and a croissant.”
“In the morning?” I stare at her. “You slept with him on the first night?”
“No need to sound so surprised.”
“I’m not surprised. I’m impressed.”
“What I’m saying is, if you feel you have to make a choice, then sometimes you already know. Sometimes you’re not making a choice at all. You’re just delaying the inevitable.”
“When did you get so wise?”
She smiles serenely. “When you have kids you’ll under—”
“Oh, shut up .”
“A mother knows.”
“I knew you’d turn into one of those people. Holier than thou because you have a kid.” I lean back, sinking farther into the tub. “You’re going to be so annoying.”
“I’ll try.” She takes a breath, easing her neck from one side to the other. “I’m ready to get out of the bathtub now.”
“Thank God.”
But neither of us move.
“You have to go first,” I say, holding on to her calf, which is atop of mine.
“Right.” She stares at it for a moment. “It’s just I’m going to get pins and needles and—”
I roll my eyes, carefully extracting myself from under her and then, more awkwardly than either of us would like, I climb out before helping my stupid, stiff-limbed, pregnant, beautiful big sister do the same.