Chapter 8
Alaska hadn’t yet found the courage to venture far from Drake’s cabin.
They’d sat on the back deck for lunch. Chili that was perfectly spiced and tasted amazing.
But as soon as she’d finished eating, she found she couldn’t keep her eyes open.
She apologized profusely, knowing Drake wanted to introduce her to his friends, but he brushed away her regrets and helped her back inside.
When she’d lain down to nap on the couch, he’d left the screen door open. The sound of the wind and the birds in the trees, and the feeling of fresh air, was as different from her Conex prison as possible. But unlike the night before, she slept fitfully, plagued by nightmares.
She finally forced herself to get up. She and Drake once more sat on the back porch for dinner. She was still wearing his sweats and had no motivation to go anywhere or meet anyone.
Drake had casually mentioned that he’d thrown away the clothes she was wearing when she was rescued, which was more than all right with Alaska.
She had no doubt simply seeing them would bring back way too many bad memories.
At some point, she’d need to buy new clothes.
Find the energy to do more than eat, sleep, and sit around… but tomorrow was a new day.
Mutt had been her constant companion, as if he knew she needed him more than Drake did at the moment. When she wasn’t petting him, he had his head on her thigh if he was sitting next to her. His presence somehow calmed her, for which she was grateful.
After she’d insisted on helping with the dinner dishes, they’d retreated to the deck once more. The sun was setting, and for some reason, Alaska wasn’t worried about the vast darkness of the forest spread out in front of her.
“This place is amazing, Drake. You should be very proud,” she said as she ran a hand down Mutt’s back.
The dog had jumped into her lap the second she’d sat down.
Drake had attempted to make him get down, but Alaska enjoyed the animal’s slight weight.
He was also very good at keeping her warm in the slightly chilly air.
“You know, when I got the idea for The Refuge, I envisioned it being this laid-back, small operation. Where I’d invite mostly people I’d met in the service to hang out and camp for a while. It ended up so much more than that.”
Alaska nodded. “I’d say. I’ve followed your success since you opened and you’ve got far more than just a vacation spot.
The men and women who’ve visited have nothing but complimentary things to say about their stay.
How it felt like for the first time in ages, they could let down their guard and truly relax. ”
“I think that’s more the area, and not as much The Refuge itself,” Drake said with a shrug.
“You’re wrong,” Alaska retorted. “You and your friends have created a place that caters to people who are struggling with the things they’ve seen and done.
From the therapist who comes to talk, the way the meals are set up, the animals that are certainly therapeutic, to the cabins themselves. It’s incredible, Drake.”
She suddenly felt his gaze on her, and she glanced over. “What?”
“It’s just…you really have been following our progress.”
Feeling a little self-conscious, Alaska shrugged.
“I was worried about you,” she admitted.
“When you left Germany, I’d hoped you’d be able to get through what happened, but I couldn’t stop wondering how things were going, outside of our emails.
So…I may or may not have kind of internet stalked you. ”
Drake laughed. The sound was low and rumbly, and it made Alaska’s stomach do flip-flops.
“If anyone else had told me they’d kept such close tabs on me, I’d probably be concerned.
But knowing you cared enough to want to keep your finger on the pulse of what I was doing feels good.
And while we’re sharing secrets…I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m glad—so very glad—I get to return the favor you did for me four years ago.
I hate why you’re here, but I’m still so happy you’re here, Alaska.
Even though we haven’t spent more than a few days together since we graduated, I consider you one of my closest friends. ”
Tears sprang to Alaska’s eyes, and she dropped her head to look at her hands, which were still petting Mutt.
“Every day of my life, the first thing I see when I wake up is that gift you made for me. Knowing someone out there believed in me with such conviction when I was just a kid gave me the confidence to push through the hard times. And believe me, there have been a lot of those over the years. I’m gonna do everything in my power to help you get through this.
I won’t lie, fighting your demons can be excruciatingly hard…
but I believe in you. I know you can do it. ”
He was killing her. To hide how much his words meant to her, Alaska joked, “You gonna make me a cross-stitch?”
Drake chuckled. “I just might. We can add it to our schedule here at The Refuge. Craft night. You can be our teacher.”
Alaska rolled her eyes at that. “Right. I hate to tell you this, but that’s the one and only thing I’ve ever cross-stitched. And it’s awful.”
“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Drake countered.
Alaska looked over at him, surprised at his tone, and froze at the look in his eyes. He was staring at her intently.
She’d never been the subject of such focused attention before, least of all from men.
She’d read lots of books where women went on and on about seeing the lust and want in a man’s eyes, but she’d never experienced it herself.
Most of the time, men looked through her.
If they bothered to see her at all, it was because they wanted something.
Either sex or something related to the many places where she’d worked.
For a long moment, they stared at each other. Alaska held her breath as she waited for Drake to say something else. When he did nothing but continue to drink her in with those intense blue eyes of his, she finally dropped her gaze back to the dog in her lap.
Being the center of anyone’s attention was uncomfortable. As much as she might sometimes resent always being in the background, it was what she was used to. Having Drake look at her, as if he truly saw her, was somewhat scary.
As if he knew he was making her uncomfortable, he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.
“So, tomorrow…I thought we’d head over to the lodge for breakfast. Our chef does a great job of having something for everyone.
From yogurt and fresh fruit, to pancakes, bacon, and omelets made to order, if you prefer.
It’s served buffet style, so everyone won’t be there at the same time. ”
Alaska wasn’t sure she was ready to leave her safe bubble at Drake’s cabin yet, but she couldn’t pretend she was simply on vacation. She had stuff she needed to do to get on with her life.
Drake continued, “Then I thought we could go down to the barn, and I’ll introduce you to Melba.
I think she gets more social media time than anything else here at camp.
We could have the most beautiful sunrise or sunset you’ve ever seen, or someone could finally have a breakthrough and leave feeling a hundred times lighter than when they got here…
and yet Melba will be the one thing they post pictures of and talk about when they get home. ”
Alaska had indeed seen a ton of pictures of the resident cow.
She had huge brown eyes, a brown and white hide, and seemed to simply love humans.
She also had as much of a traumatic history as most of the guests.
She was rescued shortly after Drake opened The Refuge.
So that connection between the cow and humans seemed to be more special as a result.
Alaska was surprised to feel anticipation snaking through her. It had been a while since she’d looked forward to something like she was looking forward to meeting a docile cow.
“Then we can play the rest of the day by ear,” Drake said.
“If you’re tired, we can come back here and you can take a nap.
Or if you want, I could show you around.
You can see where the offices are in the main lodge, we could take a short hike, or we could come back here and sit on the deck and do nothing. ”
“You don’t have to babysit me,” she told him. Alaska loved that he was saying “we” and not “you,” but she also felt guilty. He had a business to run. “I’m sure you have better things to do.”
“I don’t,” he said, turning his head and pinning her in place with another look.
“One of the reasons there are seven of us who own this place is so there’s always someone to pick up the slack when needed.
We all have our issues,” he said solemnly.
“Sometimes we need to disappear for a while. Head off into the forest to regain our equilibrium. Or we need to go see our families, or friends who are struggling more than we are to acclimate into society. If one of us needs to take time off, it’s fine.
The Refuge won’t collapse. We can all do every job, and we understand the need to get away sometimes.
Taking time to be with you, to make sure you’re okay, is perfectly fine with everyone.
And there’s nothing I’d rather do than show you my pride and joy and see her through your eyes. ”
“Okay.”
He grinned. “Okay, what, Al?”
“Okay, we can do what you suggested tomorrow.”
His smile didn’t dim. “Good. The guys’ll all be around. Tonka never eats at the lodge, but he stops in. If not, he’ll be down at the barn for sure. He’s our resident animal expert. I’m not sure why Mutt here took to me instead of him. He’s like an animal whisperer.”