Chapter 8 #2
“Mutt knows a good thing when he sees it,” Alaska told him.
Then she bit her lip and contemplated how to phrase what she needed to bring up.
She’d been too out of it last night, and she hadn’t figured out a way to talk about it today.
But now the sun was setting and she was running out of time. “Drake?”
“Yeah, Al?”
“Um…about last night…”
When she didn’t continue, he asked, “What about it?”
“I was really out of it, and I didn’t mean to…
I don’t…” Her voice faded, and she could tell her face was bright red.
This shouldn’t be as embarrassing as it was.
She was almost forty years old. Blushing was ridiculous.
“Where should I sleep tonight?” she finally blurted.
“I can’t take your bed. It’s not right.”
“It felt pretty damn right to me,” Drake muttered. Then he turned to face her. “You slept like a rock last night,” he told her.
Alaska nodded. He wasn’t wrong. Of course, that was probably because she hadn’t really slept at all while locked inside that metal box. And the entire trip to the States had been fairly traumatic. But she didn’t need to say any of that. Drake knew.
“Were you uncomfortable?” he asked.
“No.” She wouldn’t lie to him.
“Then what’s the issue?” he asked.
“Drake, I don’t make it a habit to sleep with men casually like that,” she said, a touch exasperated. “I can sleep on the couch.”
“No fucking way,” he said with a firm shake of his head. “I’m happy to take the sofa. But, Alaska…it’s too soon.”
She frowned in confusion. “Too soon for what?”
“For you to be alone. You know, in that hospital in Germany, I hadn’t slept more than an hour at a time until you arrived—unless I was knocked out with drugs.
But knowing you were there, that I wasn’t alone, allowed my brain to finally shut down.
Before that, the only thing I could see when I closed my eyes was my friends’ body parts flying through the air.
Then you were there, and every time I woke up, I immediately turned my head and saw you sleeping soundly.
Safe. It meant…everything. After what you went through, I think the worst thing you can do is sleep alone for a while. ”
She wanted to protest. Tell him that of course she could; she’d been sleeping alone her entire life. But deep down, she knew he was right. Even when she’d napped earlier today, she’d tossed and turned and hadn’t fully allowed herself to rest.
Drake reached out and took her hand in his. “You can trust me, Al. Nothing’s gonna happen. We’re just going to sleep. I’ll watch over you, and you can watch over me. Okay?”
“This isn’t normal,” she sighed.
Drake merely shrugged. “What the hell is ‘normal’ these days? We’re all fucked up in our own way, and if sleeping next to a friend is what it takes to allow us to make it through the night without losing our minds or having nightmare after nightmare…
who cares? If you’re worried about what the rest of the guys will think, don’t be.
It’s obvious to them that you’re important to me.
They’d do anything for me, and now you, by extension. ”
One part of her wanted to continue to protest. But she couldn’t deny that sleeping next to Drake was comforting in a way she couldn’t explain.
“Okay,” she whispered. “But if at any time it gets old, and you want your space back, you have to promise to tell me. I’m sure there are hotels in Los Alamos. I can always go there.”
“Not a chance in hell, Al. You tired?”
She shrugged. “A little.”
“How about we head inside? I’ve got some paperwork I need to look over, logistics stuff, and you can read, or watch TV, or whatever until you’re ready to go to sleep. Mutt, off,” he ordered.
The dog groaned, but did as Drake ordered. He leaped off Alaska’s lap and stretched. His one front leg extended as he arched his back.
“Go do your business, Mutt. It’s bedtime.”
The dog ran off into the darkness, and Alaska frowned. “Aren’t you afraid he’s gonna run off and never come back?”
“I was at first. I’d never had a dog before. But Mutt knows how good he’s got it. Besides, I think whatever happened to make him lose his leg scarred him as much as it did everyone else around here. He’s never far from someone’s side.”
As if to prove his point, Mutt came running back toward the deck, stopping right by Drake, sitting and looking up at him with an expression so adoring, it was all Alaska could do not to burst out laughing.
Drake smiled at her. “Come on, let’s get you settled.”
They walked in the house together and Alaska watched carefully as Drake locked the sliding glass door, put a wooden rod against the bottom for added protection, then went to each of the windows and the front door to make sure they were all locked.
She’d never been all that worried about locking up in the past. But that was then, this was now. She appreciated his attention to security.
She headed down the hall ahead of him, and he gestured to the bathroom. “Go on, I need to grab my laptop and stuff.”
Alaska didn’t protest, going into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
She felt a little awkward when she emerged and went to the bedroom.
Drake was already sitting on the bed, his legs stretched in front of him, his feet bare, his laptop on his lap.
He smiled at her when she entered and put the computer aside.
“Be right back,” he said, then exited the room.
Alaska climbed under the covers and sighed once more in appreciation of the piney masculine scent that enveloped her.
Drake returned and settled in his former spot. She lay on her side and watched him for a long moment. He turned his head and asked, “You good? Can I get you a book or something? I can turn on the TV.”
Alaska shook her head. “No, I’m good. Is this where you sit when we talk on the phone?” she asked.
“Sometimes. Either here, on the couch, or on the deck.”
Alaska nodded. She liked seeing his home firsthand.
He turned back to his computer and began to type something. After a while, his lips twitched and he looked back over at her. “Are you just going to lie there and stare at me while I work?”
Alaska nodded. “It’s fascinating.”
“It’s really not that interesting,” he said dryly. “Renewing the laundry contract and making sure the bills get paid isn’t all that exciting.”
“It’s just…I always pictured you as a go-go-go kind of guy. It’s nice to see you doing something incredibly mundane as working on a computer.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Alaska regretted them. What if he took her comment the wrong way?
But to her relief, he chuckled. “Yeah, being a Navy SEAL was always much more physical. But there were plenty of reports and other paperwork we had to fill out as well.”
“I know, I just…” Alaska shrugged.
He smiled, then turned his attention back to the computer screen.
There was something oddly intimate about lying in bed next to Drake as he got caught up on paperwork. Alaska wasn’t sure when she began to drift off, but as soon as she did, she jerked as her unconscious mind refused to completely shut down.
“Shhhh, Alaska. You’re all right. You’re safe.”
Her eyes popped open and she saw Drake, still on the bed.
Then, to her surprise, he scooted over until he was right next to her.
He picked up one of her arms and draped it over his lap.
His hip was right next to her face, and her arm was between the edge of his laptop and his belly.
He placed his hands back on the keyboard, his wrists resting on her forearm.
“Better?” he asked.
Surprisingly, being able to touch him was much better. Alaska nodded.
“Good.”
The fact that he didn’t make a big deal out of her irrational—or at least, what she felt was irrational—fear went a long way toward making her relax.
“It’ll get easier. I promise, honey,” he said softly. “Is the light from the screen going to bother you?”
She shook her head, her nose almost brushing against the thin cotton of the pajama pants he wore.
She’d almost commented on them when he’d come into the room.
Seeing a hard, badass former SEAL like Drake wearing a pair of soft knit pants to bed seemed incongruous.
Whether he always wore them to bed, she didn’t know, but she appreciated that his bedtime routine was so… normal.
Alaska was still wearing the sweats she’d had on all day. They were really the only thing she had to wear, and fortunately they were extremely comfortable. Drake had given her a T-shirt to wear to bed, instead of the sweatshirt she’d borrowed this morning.
Closing her eyes, Alaska moved a fraction until her forehead rested against Drake’s hip. She inhaled deeply, comforted by his scent once more. There was not one hint of metal in her nostrils now. No creaking of the hard container. No muffled Russian conversation in the background.
This time, when Alaska fell asleep, she went under deep. She didn’t dream. And she felt safer than she’d felt in a very long time.
Brick had finished up the work on his computer, but he didn’t dare move. Alaska’s arm was trapped between his wrists and his thighs. Her face was smooshed up against his hip. She’d even moved so her knees were pressed against the length of his leg.
When was the last time he’d slept with a woman…
? He couldn’t remember. Before the fucked-up mission that had killed his friends, he’d had sex occasionally, but never stayed the night with anyone.
He enjoyed sex, but hadn’t felt the need for more.
Alaska was right—his life was all go-go-go at the time.
Even though Bones, Rain, and the others said he was missing out, that finding a woman to share his life with changed everything, he hadn’t truly understood.
And after that awful day, he’d been too messed up, too busy healing to even think about a relationship. The Refuge had become his mistress, and he hadn’t wanted any other.
Now, sitting there next to Alaska, witnessing how his presence affected her, how she was able to relax once she was physically touching him…he began to understand what Mad Dog and the others were trying to tell him all those years ago.
The Refuge might be his mistress, but she’d never given him the satisfaction Alaska had in such a short period of time.
Moving slowly, Brick shut the laptop and moved it to the table next to his bed. Then he slowly shifted downward until he was lying on his back. He kept hold of Alaska’s arm, and when he was situated, it was draped over his midsection.
She sighed and snuggled into him. His arm went around her shoulders, and he pulled her closer.
“Drake?” she mumbled.
“It’s me,” he reassured her.
“You get your work done?” she asked sleepily.
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“Sleep, Al.”
“’Kay.”
Almost as soon as the word escaped her lips, she was once more breathing deeply and soundly.
He hadn’t missed the way she’d inhaled deeply when he’d first scooted closer.
He loved that she enjoyed his smell. That fact did something to his insides that he couldn’t even begin to explain.
He also couldn’t deny that every time she came out of the shower with his scent all over her, he felt an uncommon rush of possessiveness.
Many people would insist he was falling hard and fast because of some sort of savior complex—but they’d be wrong.
Alaska Stein had always been just there…
forever in the background…but there nonetheless.
And now that he was getting to know the little things about her, as an adult?
Her likes and dislikes, how unpretentious she was, how she tried to hide her fears and uncertainty from him?
Yeah. This woman could ruin him for all others.
He felt her jerk next to him, as if she’d seen something in her dreams that scared her. Brick tightened his hold and turned to kiss the top of her head.
“Shhhh, you’re safe, Al.”
To his immense satisfaction, she immediately relaxed.
Mutt raised his head as if to check on them both, then lowered it again to rest on Alaska’s calf.
Brick had come so damn close to never experiencing this.
To not having her next to him right this second.
The reoccurring thought was abhorrent and unacceptable.
If she hadn’t been smart enough to convince the Russian to let her call him…
if she’d been a weaker person, someone who couldn’t survive that fucking coffin she’d been put in…
If he hadn’t immediately acted, if the warehouse worker hadn’t come forward to tell them the number of the Conex she was in…
There were so many things that could’ve gone wrong, and Alaska would’ve been lost to him forever.
Brick wasn’t a very religious man, but he sent up a prayer of thanks that she’d been spared. That he’d been able to bring Alaska here, to his mountain, to heal. She didn’t have an easy road ahead of her, but she’d make it. Brick had no doubt.
He fell asleep with the weight of Alaska’s head on his shoulder and the deep knowledge that he was right where he was supposed to be.