Chapter 10 #2
It would’ve taken a lot more than a trip to The Refuge to put her back together if the person she’d been sold to had gotten his hands on her.
His thoughts had turned morose, and when she spoke, Brick jerked in surprise.
Shit. He couldn’t think about the what-ifs. Alaska was here now, and she was going to be fine. Eventually.
“I think it’s more that I thought I was safe back in Russia.
You know? The first day of the tour was good.
Igor was funny, even if he was constantly texting on his phone.
So when the second day came, and I felt uneasy because the other guests weren’t taking the tour, I told myself that I was being paranoid.
I knew the guide, and even though I was the only woman and wasn’t thrilled with that, I didn’t think my life would be in danger.
I was too trusting. I actually fell asleep,” she admitted softly.
“The vehicle was so warm and the ride so quiet, I fell asleep in the damn van. I thought we were on our way outside the city to see that palace. And instead, when I woke up, I had no idea where I was and the guys in the van grabbed me so I couldn’t struggle.
And Igor drove away without looking back once. ”
“You had no reason not to trust him,” Brick said.
“Maybe, maybe not. But when I was in that store today, I kept thinking about that. How one side of me said I was perfectly safe. That I was doing what everyone else was…going on a normal shopping trip. But the other side kept pointing out that I’d thought I was safe in that van in Russia.
How it was a normal sightseeing trip. And look what happened.
So I couldn’t stop looking around to see if anyone was following me.
It was discomfiting. I couldn’t turn my brain off to concentrate on shopping. ”
He hated that for her. “I know,” he said. What else could he say?
Then Alaska took a deep breath. “It’ll get better,” she said firmly.
And Brick swore that was the moment he fell in love.
She could’ve been utterly bitter. Enraged at her circumstances. Angry at the world. But instead, she was pulling herself up by her bootstraps. Because she was strong. Brave. Resilient.
She was exactly the kind of woman he wanted by his side. The kind he wanted to be with for the rest of his life. Someone who wouldn’t crumble if the car ran out of gas or if dinner was burned. A woman who would shrug and get on with life.
But she kept talking, so Brick didn’t have time to do or say anything about his startling epiphany. Which was just as well, because if he blurted out that he loved her, she’d probably laugh in his face.
“This forest is beautiful. When my mom first moved to California, back when she was still talking to me, she bitched that the drive across New Mexico was boring as hell and there was nothing but dry plains.”
“Well, there are those, but there are also beautiful mountain ranges, especially here in the northern part of the state,” Brick said. “You and your mom still aren’t talking?” he asked.
Over the last four years, he’d learned bits and pieces about Alaska’s family, such as it was.
She’d never known her dad, and after Brick left for the Navy, Alaska had pretty much taken over responsibility for her mom.
After high school, she took classes at the community college, worked a full-time job, and then had to pick up her mom at two in the morning when she called for a ride home from a local hole-in-the-wall bar.
When she didn’t call, Alaska had to spend her mornings trying to find her, to bring her home.
After obtaining her degree, Alaska had accepted a job overseas…and her mom only gave a damn because she wouldn’t be able to afford the rent on the trailer without Alaska’s contribution. She’d called her daughter ungrateful, then informed her that she was moving to California with a friend.
“No,” Alaska answered his question. “The last I heard from her was two years or so ago. I didn’t have her number or email address.
She somehow found mine, emailed and told me how great things were.
Then she asked for money.” She sighed in disgust. “She hasn’t changed.
I used to hope that maybe she’d get her head out of her ass and figure out she was wasting her life.
But at this point, I’ve realized she probably won’t.
And regardless, I can’t be responsible for her choices. ”
“Surely she’d want to know what happened to you, and that you’re safe,” Brick suggested.
Alaska merely shrugged. “I doubt it. I’m not sure I want her to know I’m back in the States.
I have a feeling her emails asking for money would come more frequently.
And while I haven’t sent her any money for a long while now, it’s still hard for me to ignore her.
So I’d rather her think I’m still in Europe. ”
“Okay, honey.” Brick suspected she would probably always struggle over the relationship with her mom. It pissed him off that the woman cared so little for such a selfless daughter.
“What about your mom? Is she good?” she asked.
Case in point. Alaska never failed to ask about his mom. She literally hadn’t seen the woman in over twenty years, and yet she still cared about her well-being.
“She’s good. I talked to her last week. She was getting ready to head out to play bridge with one group of friends, and after, she was going to a gay bar with another set of friends to dance.”
“Your mom’s a lesbian?” Alaska asked, her eyes wide in surprise.
Brick laughed. “No. But she says she likes going to the gay bars more than the regular ones because the music’s better, everyone’s so friendly, and she doesn’t have to deal with ‘old wrinkly guys’—her words, not mine—hitting on her.”
Alaska laughed, the happy noise echoing in the trees around them, and Brick couldn’t ever remember hearing a better sound. “Your mom’s awesome,” she said, when she’d gotten control of herself.
“She is,” Brick agreed.
“I’m sure she’s so proud of you,” Alaska went on.
“Yeah. For a long time, I thought I’d let her down.
After I got out of the hospital I was kind of lost. But she didn’t pester me to find a job or to pull myself together.
She was always there with a positive word, cheering me on.
She cried her eyes out the day I signed the papers with the other guys to buy this place.
Back then, it was nothing but a piece of dirt.
But she told me she knew I’d make it special. You remind me of her.”
“Me?” Alaska asked.
“Yeah. She’s always believed in me too. No matter what, she had no doubts I’d achieve whatever I set out to do.”
“You’re the kind of guy who’s easy to believe in. You ooze confidence, Drake.”
“Thanks. Although, I haven’t always been confident. You should’ve seen me in SEAL training. I was this close to ringing that bell and quitting during hell week.” He held up his hand, his thumb and index finger almost touching.
“What made you keep going?” she asked.
“My stubbornness. My idiocy. The thought of the cross-stitch in the bottom of my bag with my name and ‘Navy SEAL’ on it.”
Alaska stumbled and looked over at him, her brow furrowed.
“Not lying,” he said, easily reading her disbelief. “I knew if I quit, I’d have to look at what you made me and know I’d failed you. I couldn’t do it. So thank you for always being there to give me a kick in the butt and to cheer for me when I needed it.”
“You’re welcome,” she said quietly, not meeting his gaze.
Brick could see the red filling her cheeks and thought it was adorable. But because he didn’t want her to be any more embarrassed than she was, he turned his attention back to the trail.
The second they rounded the next bend, and Table Rock came into view, Alaska gasped in appreciation.
“Oh my gosh, this is beautiful!”
She wasn’t wrong. The rock overlooked a small canyon. There was a fairly steep drop-off near the rock and trees as far as the eye could see. It was nature at its finest.
Brick got them situated on the massive flat rock and pulled out the lunch he’d put together. It wasn’t anything special—turkey sandwiches, potato chips, bottles of water, and apples—but eating it there, with Alaska, it tasted like the best meal he’d ever had.
After a moment, as they continued nibbling on their sandwiches, he asked, “So…you got your college degree. You have a graduation party? My mom mentioned that you didn’t have one when you graduated from high school.”
She glanced at him with a look he couldn’t interpret.
“I didn’t even go to the ceremony,” she said after a moment. “I’d planned to, but I got a call from our neighbor that my mom was passed out on the lawn in front of our trailer. I had to go home and get her inside, and she was…difficult. I missed the ceremony.”
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”
Alaska shrugged. “It’s okay. Not a big deal.”
It was a big deal, and they both knew it. But Brick didn’t want to continue talking about such a hurtful memory.
“I took my first overseas job not too long after that,” she told him.
“You obviously liked living in Europe,” Brick said.
A smile formed on her lips. “I did, for the most part.”
They spent the next forty-five minutes or so talking about some of the places she’d lived and the interesting people she’d met over the years.
By the time they got back to The Refuge, it was nearing dinnertime. “You want to eat at the lodge or make something at the cabin?” he asked.
“Would you mind if we make something ourselves? I’m not super hungry, and I’m not sure I’m ready to be around a lot of other people yet.”
He was proud of her for not only knowing that about herself, but being able to verbalize it. “Of course not,” he said. “Anything you’re in the mood for?”
“Nope. I’m happy with a bowl of cereal, honestly. It’s kind of my go-to meal.”
He grinned. “I think I can do better than that.”
“Okay…but I hope you know you don’t have to cook for me.”
“It’s kind of nice. I tend to eat here more than over at the lodge, but I like cooking for two rather than just one.
” He didn’t add that he actually liked taking care of her, making sure she got something healthy into her while she healed both mentally and physically.
He hadn’t missed how stiff she was, after their short hike, and how she was moving carefully.
It made him want to go back and kill the Russian a little more painfully, but since he couldn’t, he’d channel his efforts into making sure Alaska healed as fast as humanly possible.
“In that case, I’ll let you. I’m not much of a cook,” she told him with a smile.
He smiled back. Being with Alaska was comfortable—and comforting. Brick didn’t feel the need to keep up a steady stream of conversation; she knew more about him than just about anyone other than his mom, anyway. Having her around felt…right.
Thinking about her heading back into the world without him was painful, but if that was what she eventually needed, he’d let her go with another smile and without holding her back…by letting her know how much she was starting to mean to him.