Chapter 10
Brick kept a close eye on Alaska. For the most part, she seemed to be enjoying herself with the animals.
She giggled when Melba laid her big cow head against her shoulder and moaned as Alaska scratched under her chin.
She cooed over the goats…until they started to nibble on her shirt.
Most of the cats kept their distance, but the horses were happy for the extra carrots she offered with a smile.
He also noted the way her eyes were constantly on the move. Constantly scanning her environment for danger. He couldn’t blame her. Brick still did the same, even years after the explosion that had ended his SEAL career and killed his friends.
But he didn’t like seeing the fear in her eyes every time her gaze darted around the space. He knew from experience that would fade with time, but for now, he’d do what he could to help calm her fears.
After spending two hours in the barn with the animals, it was time to leave Tonka to his chores.
He’d been surprisingly patient with Alaska, which Brick appreciated.
His friend wasn’t known for being all that friendly with the guests.
He was amazing with the animals, far more comfortable with them than people.
But Tonka hadn’t seemed irritated with Alaska’s questions, and was far more verbose than normal.
He’d even let her help with a couple chores, which was extremely unusual.
Alaska seemed to have a way with people and animals.
All of his friends had known about her prior to her ordeal.
Knew she was one of Brick’s dearest friends.
He’d told them the story of how she’d barreled into his hospital room in Germany, how she’d done wonders for helping him get his head on straight as he began his new life, post-Navy SEALs.
He supposed all the stories he’d told about her over the years made them feel as if they knew her a bit.
And Brick was thankful. He loved seeing the men he respected most in this world getting along with his Alaska.
“You want to go for a walk?” he asked as they exited the barn.
She nodded, then scrunched up her nose and looked down at her feet, holding one up. “I’m in flip-flops though.”
“Shit. I forgot. You think you’re up for a trip into town to pick up some things? There isn’t a mall or anything like that, but they’ve got a few shops that sell hiking gear, and we can go to the box store and get some other stuff to tide you over until your things arrive.”
“Until my things arrive?” she asked in confusion.
“Yeah. I’m not sure how long it’ll take for your stuff to get here, but there are people at your apartment packing up as we speak.”
“There are? What the heck, Drake?”
Brick loved that she called him by his real name. Pretty much only her and his mom called him Drake. “I haven’t had a chance to tell you,” he told her with a shrug.
Alaska put her hands on her hips and frowned. “What if I didn’t want my stuff packed up? What if I wanted to go back to my job?”
“Do you? Want to go back, that is?” he asked calmly. Inside, his heart was beating abnormally fast as he waited for her answer.
She sighed and dropped her hands from her hips. She looked anywhere but at him as she said, “No. But that’s not the point.”
Brick reached out and put a finger under her chin and gently turned her face so she had no choice but to look at him.
“I just thought you’d be more comfortable if you had some of your own things around.
I’m not trying to take over your life. You’re a grown woman who’s been making her own decisions for a very long time.
But you’ve also been through something harrowing.
Let me help you, Al. There are no strings to my assistance.
When the time is right, and you’re ready, I’ll help you go wherever you want.
If that’s back to Europe, then fine. But I have a feeling you haven’t ever really slowed down.
Take this time to reflect, relax, and simply breathe. ”
He stared into her expressive brown eyes and held his breath.
He’d never been the kind of man who liked taking care of others.
He liked independent women. Those who weren’t clingy and didn’t come with a lot of baggage.
But he was finding that he liked taking care of Alaska.
A lot. She was independent, for sure, but with a vulnerability that reached into his chest and took hold of his heart.
She nodded slightly.
Brick let out his breath on a long sigh.
“Good. So…shopping? Then a short hike? I’d love to show you Table Rock.
I don’t know what the official name of it is, if it even has one, but that’s what we’ve started calling this huge rock along one of the trails.
It’s not too far from here and the view is amazing.
We can either grab lunch while we’re in town or pilfer something from the kitchen when we get back and take it with us. ”
“Sounds good,” she said quietly. “Drake?”
“Yeah, Al?”
“Thanks. For everything. I mean it. I would’ve been in big trouble if you hadn’t figured out where I was and gotten me out of there.”
“You’re welcome,” he said simply. Then, not wanting her to get bogged down in bad memories, he said, “You want to drive?”
Alaska blinked in surprise. “Really?”
“Nope. No one drives my baby but me,” he said with a grin.
She rolled her eyes. “You’re such a guy.”
“I am,” he agreed. Then he reached for her hand and headed for his cabin. He really didn’t give a shit if she drove his Rubicon or not. It had more scratches and dents than he could count. But it was reliable and fun to drive, especially in the summer when he took the doors and top off.
He squeezed her hand lightly; it felt good in his. Familiar. As if he’d held her hand every day of his life for the last twenty years. Which was crazy, as he couldn’t remember ever really touching Alaska before Germany.
Despite the circumstances, Brick couldn’t deny he loved having her here, was enjoying getting to know her better. And even though they’d grown up together, there was so much more he wanted to discover.
The trip to town was difficult for Alaska.
They’d stopped to get her a quality pair of boots, and Brick had insisted on throwing in some pants and shirts as well.
Then they’d gone to the larger big box store for toiletries, underwear, and some other clothes to tide her over until her belongings arrived.
That was where things had gone downhill.
In the much larger store, Alaska was jumpy and couldn’t stop looking around nervously as they shopped. Brick recognized the signs of an impending breakdown and cut the trip short. He’d managed to grab the necessities for her, but anything extra would have to wait.
He was kicking his own ass for rushing her. He knew better.
The trip back to The Refuge was made in silence. When they returned to his cabin, he said, “Go on and get changed, then we’ll head to the lodge and grab stuff for lunch before we head out.”
She only nodded as she disappeared into the bedroom with her new things.
It wasn’t until they were finally on the trail and headed for Table Rock that he brought up the trip to town. “I’m sorry,” he told her. “I rushed you. I should’ve just gotten your sizes and sent one of the guys to town instead.”
But she shook her head and said, “No, it was good for me. I can’t hide away forever. I just…I swore I kept seeing the guys who took me. I know it’s impossible for them to be here, but my brain kept telling me they were waiting behind every rack or in the next aisle to grab me again.”
“For what it’s worth, that’s not abnormal,” Brick said softly.
“Maybe. But I hate it.”
“That feeling will fade,” he told her. “Promise. I used to feel the same way. Anytime I saw someone carrying a bag, I was convinced it was full of explosives and they were about to blow up whatever place we happened to be in. For me, it was entering buildings that was always the hardest. Basically, I relived the moment that house blew up every time. As soon as I’d step toward the threshold, I’d panic…
thinking the entire thing was about to explode in my face. ”
Alaska looked over at him shyly. “Really? You aren’t saying that just to make me feel better?”
“Really,” he said. “Still to this day, I sometimes have to close my eyes as I step through a door.” Brick realized she was the first person he’d admitted that to, other than his therapist. But instead of embarrassing, it felt freeing.
“The brain is an amazing thing. It can help us solve complicated mathematical equations and play intricate musical pieces, but it can also be our worst enemy. It can take a split second of our lives and replay it over and over, and no matter how much we try to forget, or retrain our brain, sometimes that never happens. But you’ll learn to make it work for you.
I’m not saying you’ll never be able to walk into a crowded store without constantly looking over your shoulder, but at the same time, maybe being a little more aware of your surroundings isn’t a bad thing.
“I’ve been able to train my brain to allow me to walk into a building without panicking but…
like I said, sometimes I have to do it with my eyes closed.
” Brick shrugged. “It is what it is. And it could be worse. I hate that my friends are no longer here to enter any building, but I accept my life the way it is now. Even if sometimes it’s fucking hard. ”
Alaska didn’t say anything for a few long minutes as they walked.
Brick didn’t push her. She needed to come to terms with her kidnapping.
He was so damn grateful he’d found her before something even worse had happened.
If they hadn’t been able to locate the Conex, Brick would’ve expanded his search to Beijing.
He wouldn’t have stopped looking for her.
But the woman he eventually found wouldn’t be the same Alaska he’d always known.