Chapter 9 #2
Alaska closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t know. I guess I…I was remembering that morning. The people sitting around the communal tables and chatting reminded me of the breakfast I had before…before I was taken.”
She felt his hand rest on her cheek.
“The first flashback’s the hardest. Some things will get easier, others not so much. But you’re doing really, really well, honey.”
Alaska opened her eyes to look at Drake, to try to see if he was blowing smoke up her ass or if he was telling the truth.
As soon as she met his gaze, he said, “The first time I heard thunder after I got home, I had a meltdown. I dove under a table at the VA hospital and started yelling for everyone around me to take cover.” He shrugged as if he wasn’t embarrassed in the least about sharing what had to be a difficult memory.
“So trust me when I tell you that you’re doing an amazing job. Okay?”
“Okay,” she whispered.
“Hey,” a deep voice said softly.
Turning, Alaska saw Pipe standing nearby.
He was the one she’d dubbed “the biker guy.” He had tattoos covering almost every inch of his arms and what she could see of his chest. He also had longish hair, and a much longer beard than any of the other guys.
If she’d met him in a bar, she probably would’ve been wary, but since he was one of Drake’s friends, she relaxed.
“You good?” he asked Alaska.
“Yeah.”
“Want me to grab you something from the buffet?”
Oddly soothed by his British accent, Alaska opened her mouth to decline, but Drake beat her to it. “Thanks, man. I’m thinking a little bit of everything? I’ll eat anything she doesn’t.”
Pipe nodded. “No problem. Be back.”
The second he turned, Alaska frowned at Drake. “I’m not an invalid. I could’ve gotten my own breakfast.”
“I know. But there’s no need to prove to any of us around here how tough you are. We’re already well aware.”
Alaska wanted to argue. But when she started to, Drake put a finger over her lips.
“Let me…let us…pamper you a bit, Alaska. There will be lots of opportunities to exert your independence. But this is your first foray back into the world. Sometimes it’s better to take baby steps than charge back into life.”
Alaska swallowed the retort that had been on the tip of her tongue. It actually felt really good to be taken care of by Drake and his friends. From the clothes, to Pipe looking after her health when she’d first arrived, to him offering to get their breakfast.
She nodded and was rewarded with Drake’s smile. “Thanks, Al.”
He hadn’t taken his other hand from her face the entire time they were talking, and when he finally sat back in his chair, Alaska had to hold back the sigh of disappointment that he wasn’t touching her anymore.
She’d never been the kind of woman to crave human contact.
In the years before she’d left home, her mom had basically stopped touching her with affection at all.
She was either too drunk or high to even remember she had a daughter, much less give her hugs or tell her how much she loved her.
And other than a few boyfriends she’d had over the years, she was never really touched by anyone, even casually.
Drake seemed incredibly demonstrative, touching her more than she’d been in years. It felt good. Too good.
“Here you go,” Pipe said.
Alaska was so lost in thought, she jerked in surprise, and Drake put a hand on her thigh and murmured, “Easy, Al.”
Swallowing hard, she looked up at Pipe and offered a small smile. But it quickly morphed into an open-mouthed stare at the two plates the man had placed on the table in front of her and Drake.
“Holy crap! You can’t truly expect us to eat all that.”
Both Drake and Pipe laughed.
“Didn’t know what you’d prefer, so like Brick asked, got a bit of everything. Don’t worry, anything you guys don’t finish will be fed to the goats. They love it when people’s eyes are bigger than their stomachs.”
“Will you sit with us?” Alaska invited tentatively.
“Sure. I’ll be back,” he said as he turned to go fill a plate for himself.
“You don’t have to be polite,” Drake said when he was out of earshot. “If you need to eat by yourself, everyone here will understand.”
“I don’t. Besides, I’ve met Pipe…and you trust him. And I know I’m not in that hotel in St. Petersburg.”
“No, you aren’t. But if at any time you need space, just let me know. Or don’t let me know, and just get up and head outside. I’ll figure it out.”
Pipe returned with one of the other owners of The Refuge at his side.
“I’m Owl. May I join you?” the newcomer asked.
Both Drake and Pipe looked at her to answer his question.
“Of course,” Alaska told him.
Owl sat, then said, “There’s no ‘of course’ about it. It’s impossible to know what might trigger someone. The color of my hair could set you off if it reminds you of someone else,” he said with a shrug.
“It doesn’t,” Alaska reassured him. But she understood what he meant. Once again, she was impressed by how incredibly intuitive these men were. They weren’t just running a resort, they were truly doing everything possible to help other men and women who’d been through difficult traumas.
The other owners of The Refuge trickled into the room at different times as they ate.
They all made a point to come over, introduce themselves to her, tell her how glad they were that she was all right, and to check in with their buddies.
It was obvious how much the guys liked and genuinely respected each other.
After the others sat at the big table with the guests, Owl turned to Alaska and said, “You don’t seem to have a problem remembering our names.”
She shrugged. “I’ve always been pretty good with names and faces. It kind of goes hand in hand with being an admin assistant. You know, so I can greet customers by name…and so I can remember who was a pain in the butt in the past, in order to be extra saccharine sweet when I talk to them again.”
“I’m not sure that completely explains how you know who everyone is. This is the first time you’re meeting Stone, Spike, and Owl. I know I told you their names when you asked, after seeing that picture in my cabin from our opening day, but still,” Drake said.
Why did he have to be so observant? Alaska knew she was blushing. “There’s that picture of all you guys on The Refuge’s website,” she said as nonchalantly as possible.
Both Drake and Pipe’s mouths curled upward.
“So you stalked us,” Pipe said.
“No! Of course not,” Alaska protested. “I just have a good memory.” No way was she admitting she’d saved the picture—going so far as to print it out and tack it to the wall behind her computer.
“Well, I’m impressed,” Drake said.
Alaska snorted. “It’s not like you’re hard to remember. For starters, Pipe, you don’t exactly look like the others with your biker-guy vibe going on.”
“And you said that Tiny reminded you of that guy in that eighties movie,” Drake reminded her.
“Yes. And of course, I already know you,” Alaska said with a nod to Drake.
“Stone’s the one with glasses, and Owl reminds me of Ed Sheeran.
That only leaves Tonka and Spike. I do kind of get them mixed up, even though Tonka was our ride from the airport.
I wasn’t at my most…aware,” she finished feebly.
All the men made murmured sounds of assurance.
“But mostly…you’re all memorable. I mean, you guys aren’t exactly hard on the eyes,” Alaska said as she poked at the eggs on her plate. “I wouldn’t be surprised if women wanted to come here just so they could get a glimpse of the hot owners.”
Drake, Owl, and Pipe all shared looks, and it was Alaska’s turn to smile. “Let me guess. That’s happened.”
Pipe shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s not like any of us are looking for a wife. The women who have arrived with high hopes left pretty disappointed.”
“We made an agreement to never get involved with a guest,” Drake told her.
“It could get messy, and we vowed never to let our private lives interfere with the business,” Owl added.
Alaska nodded, but deep down, the hope that she might somehow be able to get Drake to look at her as something more than just an “old friend” died a fiery death.
“For the record,” Drake said nonchalantly, “you aren’t a guest.”
Alaska’s gaze flew to his. Drake stared right back.
“Right,” Pipe finally said with a grin. “You’re his wife.”
Alaska choked on the bite of egg she’d been in the process of swallowing.
“Right, Brick?” he said, still grinning.
“Pipe was the one who contacted me when you called,” Drake told her.
Ah. Right. “It was the only thing I could think of to alert you that something was wrong,” she explained quietly.
“It was perfect, and so smart,” Drake reassured her. “I immediately knew it was you on the phone and that you needed me.”
“That’s right. Brick told us how you got in to see him in Germany by telling everyone you were his fiancée,” Owl added.
Alaska swallowed. “I’m sure they were wondering what the hell was wrong with Drake when they saw plain ol’ me,” she said, blushing furiously.
“There’s nothing plain about you,” Drake countered.
“Agreed,” Pipe chimed in. “From your chestnut hair, to that spark of intelligence in those big doe eyes, to that backbone of steel…I’d say you’re as far from plain as someone can get.”
Alaska shook her head. She appreciated them trying to make her feel better. But she knew what she was and what she wasn’t.
Just then, a loud crash sounded on the other side of the room, making her jump.
There was a flurry of movement, and she realized two of the people sitting at the guest table had stood up so fast, their chairs hit the floor behind them with a bang.
Another had fallen into a crouch next to the table…
and the woman who’d dropped a plate of food was looking down at it with a horrified expression on her face.
“I’ve got the woman,” Pipe said quietly as he stood.
Stone and Spike were already talking to the two people who’d knocked over their chairs. Both looked on edge, and it seemed to Alaska that if they’d had weapons, they would’ve been shooting by now. Tonka was kneeling by the man still crouched behind his seat.
Drake put a comforting hand on her leg once more. “You okay?” he asked.
Alaska looked at him. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Loud noises like that can set some people off. Aggravates their PTSD.”
She nodded in understanding. “I’m fine.”
“Good,” Drake said with a nod. “You want to go down to the barn and meet the animals and take a walk?”
“You don’t need to stay?” she asked, gesturing to the room behind him with her head.
“No, the others have things under control. We try not to make a big deal out of it when something like this happens. I’m betting the guests will bounce back quickly.
Unfortunately, they’re kind of used to reacting like this…
at least here, they won’t get stared at and treated as if there’s something wrong with them. ”
He wasn’t wrong. Even now, the guests who’d had the bad reactions were sitting back down at the table.
“Then yes, I’d love to meet this Melba I’ve read so much about online,” Alaska told him.
Drake nodded and picked up their breakfast plates. He brought them over to a small table near the doorway and scraped their uneaten food into one bin and put the plates in another.
Tiny was now cleaning up the broken dish and spilled food. They ran into Tonka on their way out the door.
“We’re headed to the barn,” Drake told him.
“I’m just going down to feed them,” Tonka said. “You want to help?” he asked Alaska.
She smiled and nodded enthusiastically.
“Warning, the goats will try to eat anything they get their mouths near. The food, your fingers, your shirt…” Tonka told her.
“Thanks for the warning.”
The three of them headed toward the barn.
It was as large as the lodge itself. Painted red and boasting a large fenced-in area behind it.
Since Alaska had read up on the place, she knew they offered trail rides with the horses, and they’d gotten Melba when a large fire had broken out at a nearby farm, and her owner no longer wanted her after it was obvious she had some trauma after being rescued from the burning building.
The goats had been taken in when the ranch they were living on was sold, and they’d been left behind to starve.
All the various cats had either been dumped in the area or been brought in to help control the mouse situation in the barn.
Drake seemed content to let her and Tonka talk about the animals and their routines.
But he was never farther than inches away.
Instead of feeling suffocated, Alaska felt safe.
She knew there was no way she would’ve if she’d been out here by herself.
Even with Drake so near, she couldn’t help but think of all the places someone could hide, then jump out and grab her.
It was stupid. She wasn’t in Russia anymore.
No one was lurking around, trying to kidnap her.
Still, she couldn’t seem to shake the feeling.
But with Drake there, she managed to keep the panic at bay.
Refusing to think about what would happen when it came time to leave and get on with her life, Alaska did her best to concentrate on the feeding instructions Tonka was giving her on the various animals.