Chapter 2
Finn “Tonka” Matlick sat in his truck and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, waiting patiently. He wasn’t sure why he’d volunteered to take Henley to pick up her daughter.
No—that was a lie. He knew. Ever since that evening when shit had hit the fan with the man who’d tried to kidnap Alaska, and he and Henley’d had their…moment in the barn, Tonka had been trying to figure out a way to talk to her. To get a little…closer.
Of course, being the emotionally stunted wreck that he was, he hadn’t been successful so far. Not since that night, and not in the years since Henley had started at The Refuge.
But seeing her crying in her car had hit him hard.
She was normally a very calm, positive person—or at least, that was the image she projected.
Seeing her so upset had felt wrong. He hadn’t meant to scare her by knocking on the window and could kick his own ass for not thinking before acting.
The fear on her face wasn’t something he ever wanted to see again, especially not because of something he’d done.
When she’d told him what was wrong, he’d responded automatically. To him, it was an easy fix—take her to town to pick up her daughter. But now, as he sat in the truck and waited for Henley to come out of the school with Jasna, he regretted yet again not thinking more carefully.
He’d never been around kids. Didn’t know what to say to them, didn’t know how to act. Though he supposed in many ways, they were like the dogs he used to work with…dependent upon others for nearly everything.
Tonka quickly forced himself to think about anything else. He couldn’t think about his former canine partner, Steel, for longer than a few seconds without having a breakdown.
He turned his thoughts back to the situation at hand.
It was a shock when he’d learned Henley had a daughter, and not just for him, but everyone at The Refuge.
He wondered what she looked like. Would she be petite like her mom?
Have the same beautiful long brown hair and hazel eyes?
Would she be talkative, a tomboy? Into makeup and fashion?
He had no idea…and for some reason, that irked him.
Of course, him not knowing anything about Jasna was no one’s fault but his own. He’d wanted to ask about her since learning of the girl’s existence, but he didn’t know how to talk to Henley without looking like a total idiot.
It was ridiculous. He used to be quite the ladies’ man, actually. Had no problem hitting on women in bars or on the base in Virginia. But now? He got completely tongue-tied. And honestly, he didn’t have the interest anymore.
His life had been gray for years. Only recently had a little bit of color started to come back.
His attention had been glued to the front doors as his thoughts whirled, so he immediately spotted the woman and girl who exited and began to walk toward his truck.
Tonka quickly got out and went around to open the back door.
His lips twitched when he saw that Henley’s daughter, at twelve, was almost as tall as her mom.
Jasna was slender. Reminded him of a colt who was still growing into its legs.
Her hair was more dark blonde than brown, but there was no doubt that she and Henley were related.
The pre-teen stared at the ground as they walked, and Henley kept glancing at her worriedly.
“Hey,” Henley said somewhat shyly as they approached. “I hope we didn’t take too long.”
“Not at all,” Tonka said.
“Jasna, this is Finn. Finn, this is my daughter Jasna.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Tonka said quietly. “I’m sorry you don’t feel well.”
The girl looked at him, and Tonka sucked in a quiet breath. The color of her amber eyes was very unique—and almost the exact shade Steel’s eyes had been.
“Thanks for coming to get me. Mom told me that her car wouldn’t start.”
Tonka forced himself to stand still and not back away from the girl. It wasn’t that he was afraid, exactly. Or that he didn’t like the color of her eyes—quite the opposite. It was just such a shock.
Memories of the last time he’d seen eyes that color, how they’d pleaded for help, were almost overwhelming.
Tonka swallowed hard and did his best to regain his equilibrium. He turned to look at Henley for his own sanity. But of course, she saw more than he wanted her to, like always. Had already noted his strange reaction to her daughter.
He caught a glimpse of disappointment and sorrow on her face before she managed to mask it.
Shit. This wasn’t going well. Some impression he was making. He’d never manage any headway with Henley if she thought he didn’t like her daughter.
“I thought maybe we should head right back to The Refuge, without worrying about your neighbor.” Tonka returned his gaze to Jasna, and this time he was ready for the impact of her eyes.
“Jasna, you can hang out with me in the barn with my animals, if you want, while your mom does her thing at the lodge. There’s an office in there with a sofa bed, so you can nap if you’re tired.
Or if you feel up to it, you can watch me feed everybody. ”
“Really?” Jasna asked, sounding excited.
He nodded.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea—” Henley started, but her daughter interrupted.
“Please, Mom? You’ve talked about Melba so much, I can’t wait to meet her! And see the horses. And the goats who’re always trying to eat people’s clothes. And didn’t you say there are new kittens? Pleeeeease?”
Tonka couldn’t stop the rush of pleasure that swamped him at hearing Jasna’s words. He liked that Henley had talked about the animals with her daughter. They were his pride and joy.
“I don’t know, Jas. You’ve got a hundred-point-three fever. And when’s the last time you puked?”
“Can we not talk about me puking in front of your friend?” Jasna muttered.
“Sorry,” Henley said with a small grin. “I just think you might be more comfortable in your own bed.”
“But you have that session you wanted to do today. And you were the one who said that Mrs. Singleton isn’t home. I could totally stay home by myself, but I know you won’t let me.”
Tonka frowned at that. Leave this young girl home alone? No way in hell. But Henley’s next words reassured him.
“You aren’t staying home alone. Not until you’re at least sixteen—and maybe not even then.” She looked up at him, and her teeth sank into her bottom lip. “Are you sure you don’t mind? I mean, I’m guessing I could put her in one of the unused rooms in the lodge, if you’d prefer.”
“I’m sure,” Tonka said. And to his surprise, he found that he meant it. He still wasn’t confident in his abilities to entertain a kid, but maybe she’d fall asleep and it would be a non-issue.
“Yay!” Jasna said. Then she winced and put a shaky hand on her belly.
“Come on, let’s get you settled,” Tonka said firmly, gesturing to the back seat.
He wanted to help her inside, but didn’t want to touch her without her approval, or that of her mom.
Before he shut the door, he walked to the bed of the truck and grabbed a steel bucket that he kept there.
He placed it on the floor at Jasna’s feet and gave her a small smile.
“Just in case,” he said before shutting the door.
He didn’t want to embarrass the girl, but if she had to puke again while they were on their way to The Refuge, he didn’t want it all over his truck.
He didn’t care about cleaning it up; he’d had worse things than vomit back there from transporting animals.
He just had a feeling she’d be humiliated if she barfed all over the place.
“Thanks,” Henley said quietly as he reached for the handle of her door next.
Tonka nodded and once again put a hand under her elbow to help her up into the passenger seat. Once she was settled, he shut the door and walked around to the driver’s side.
He had no idea what he was doing. He just prayed inviting Jasna to hang out with him in the barn wouldn’t backfire.
He was terribly curious about the girl. He hadn’t managed the nerve to ask about her, and Henley didn’t really mention her at all—clearly, since he hadn’t known she’d existed before a couple weeks ago.
But he wanted to know pretty much everything about the psychologist who spent so much time at The Refuge, so that included getting to know her daughter.
Tonka wanted to care about the things most normal people did. He also wanted to act on the interest he frequently saw in Henley’s eyes, because he’d felt the same interest since meeting her. To do that, he knew he’d have to talk about things he’d avoided for years.
The thought of sharing what had happened to make him the shell of a man he was today was repugnant. But he had a feeling if there was anyone he could talk to about that incident, it would be Henley.
He’d acted impulsively today—something he never did—but was surprisingly okay about it.
He’d wanted to do something to show Henley how much he appreciated her support when he’d almost lost it in the barn a couple weeks ago.
But he’d been a chicken since then. Hadn’t been able to approach her at all.
Tonka might not be the man he used to be, but he’d never been a coward. And he wished he could say his offer of assistance today was a breakthrough. Instead, it was more of a deep necessity.
The decision to help her, and Jasna, hadn’t even been a conscious thought. She needed help, and he’d instinctively needed to provide it.
If things went well with Jasna, this could be the start of a new kind of relationship between him and Henley. If it didn’t, it could be the end of anything before it even started.