Chapter 4 #2
She nodded, and there was nothing left to do but leave. Tonka nodded back and stepped toward the door.
“Finn?”
He turned back, his heart skipping a beat. “Yeah?”
“My key?”
Shit. He’d forgotten to even give it to her.
He gave her a sheepish look and pulled it out of his pocket.
His fingers brushed her palm as he placed the key in her hand, and it was all he could do not to grab hold of her and pull her close again.
But he managed not to embarrass himself and once more turned to leave. This time, she didn’t stop him.
Tonka wasn’t sure why he’d offered to have Jasna hang out at The Refuge that summer.
He definitely needed to talk to the guys about it, but he was relatively sure they wouldn’t protest, not after hearing that Henley might not be able to have sessions with their guests if she didn’t have reliable childcare.
As he drove back home, he was more sure than ever that he wanted both Henley and Jasna in his life.
By some miracle, being around them drove out some of the demons in his head.
It felt good to worry about something other than his past mistakes.
To concentrate on solving Henley’s problems. Was that a good basis for a relationship? He wasn’t so sure.
All he knew for certain was what he felt when he was around them. He was smiling this morning…for absolutely no reason other than having seen them both. If that wasn’t a sign, he didn’t know what was.
It wouldn’t be easy to break out of the melancholy that had taken over his life after he’d gotten out of the Coast Guard, but for the first time since Steel died, Tonka felt something other than guilt and sorrow weighing him down.
Anticipation swam in his veins. An excitement that maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to put the past behind him eventually.
He’d never forget his partner, how Steel always had his back, but Tonka knew the way he was living his life wasn’t any kind of testament to how brave and strong Steel had been.
He wanted to be a better person. Wanted to snap out of the funk he’d been in for years.
Maybe Henley wasn’t the woman he was meant to be with.
Maybe she was just the push he needed to get out of his head and get on with living.
Regardless, he had a feeling the McClures were put in his path for a reason.
He’d ignored the pull he’d had toward Henley for long enough. Once upon a time he hadn’t been a coward, and he wanted to be that man again. Henley made him want to be that man.
Henley did her best to concentrate on her sessions that morning.
She felt as if her brain was going to explode with all that she had going on.
Stress about her childcare situation, worry for Mrs. Singleton, gratitude for her boss’s understanding about being late that morning…
and of course, confusion over Finn’s sudden interest in her life.
It was a lot. And Henley wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep. But she couldn’t. She had a ton on her plate, and she had no time to sit and take a moment for herself.
After her last session, she stuck her head into her boss’s office.
Mike Mackey was in his early fifties, had lived in Los Alamos all his life and never married.
He’d started his practice twenty-five years ago, and Henley was so grateful to him for hiring her on when he did.
She’d been new in town, with a five-year-old in tow and desperately in need of a job.
It had been stupid to move to the mountain town without securing work first, but she’d needed to get out of the city.
She didn’t want Jasna to grow up surrounded by a concrete jungle.
She wanted her to have an appreciation for Mother Nature.
“Henley!” Mike said when he saw her. “Come in, come in.”
“Is everything okay?” Henley asked immediately. Mike had asked her to come talk to him before she left to head to The Refuge. The last thing she needed was more stress piled on top of her shoulders.
“Yes. Well, mostly yes. Sit and let’s talk.”
Mentally shoring up her shields, Henley gingerly sat on the edge of the chair in front of his desk.
“You doing okay?” he asked.
Henley smiled and shrugged. “Yeah. Sorry again about this morning. My neighbor had a stroke and went into the hospital.”
“Cheri?”
It sounded weird to hear Mrs. Singleton being called by her first name. For as long as Henley had known her, she’d called her by her surname. “Yeah.”
“Darn. Will she be all right?” Mike asked.
“From what I understand, yes. But she’ll be moving to Albuquerque to be closer to her daughter.”
“Ah…and there goes your childcare,” Mike said sympathetically.
“Yup.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll find something.”
Henley simply smiled. She didn’t blame her boss for being a little unconcerned. He’d never had to worry about childcare, since he wasn’t married and didn’t have kids.
“Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Christian Dekker.”
Henley immediately frowned. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know who Mike was talking about. Of course she did. She was just confused about why he was bringing him up to her. Yes, she’d been the boy’s therapist a few years ago, but it hadn’t gone well.
Well, that wasn’t exactly true. She’d thought things were going well at first, but eventually she realized the boy was purposely manipulating her—and trying to scare her.
Henley firmly believed in the innate goodness of people.
But the twelve-year-old boy she’d known had seriously dented those beliefs for a time.
His parents had been beside themselves and didn’t know what to do with him.
Nothing they’d done on their own had been able to curb his destructive and dangerous behavior.
They’d been at the end of their rope, and had even admitted to being scared of their own son.
Henley had thought she’d be able to help.
That she could get to the root of what was driving the boy and help him work through it.
But as it turned out, she hadn’t been able to discover anything traumatic in his past. No difficulties with anyone at school—students or staff.
No particular triggers that caused him to lash out.
She’d even had a session with his younger sister, who swore their parents had always been loving and fair.
In the end, after many months, her professional opinion was that Christian Dekker was a danger to society, his family…basically to anyone he met.
It wasn’t a decision she’d come to lightly.
No one wanted to believe a child was too far gone for help.
But after sitting across from the boy week after week, and seeing little beyond cold calculation in his gaze, Henley had finally gone to Mike and admitted she was making no headway.
Told him she thought it would be worth it to see if Christian fared any better with a male therapist.
And while that was true…the additional truth of the matter was, Henley had been extremely uncomfortable with some of the things the boy had said.
How he fantasized about hurting and violating his teacher, his sister…
even his mom. He calmly and without emotion told her how he’d tried to burn down the shed behind his house, how he’d scraped the remains of a coyote off the road to examine it, and that one of his favorite things was finding the mice that had gotten stuck to the glue traps in their garage and bashing their heads in.
Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she realized Mike was staring at her, waiting patiently. She belatedly asked, “What about him?”
“You know that he stopped being a client here a couple of years ago.” He waited for Henley to nod before he continued.
“Well, his mother called. Said he’s now even worse than he used to be.
She begged me to come to the house to talk to him, but I told her that I honestly didn’t think it would do any good. ”
Henley pressed her lips together and nodded again.
“They’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Since he’s a minor, they don’t want to kick him out of the house, but they’re also scared to death of what he might do.
There aren’t any private schools they can send him to, not with his grades and his records, and for some reason, they were reluctant to send him to an inpatient facility.
So far, he hasn’t been caught doing anything illegal that would send him to juvie,” Henley mused.
“Exactly. All I could do was sympathize with her and wish her the best. But, Henley…that’s not why I’m talking to you this morning.”
She looked across the desk at Mike, nodding for him to continue.
“I wanted to warn you.”
“Warn me? About what?”
Mike sighed heavily. “His mom found a notebook in Christian’s room.
She told me she goes in there when she’s sure he’s out of the house.
She doesn’t even know what she’s looking for, or what she’d do if she found anything alarming, like weapons or something, but she said she couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t call me after she’d found the notebook. ”
Henley steeled herself.
“There was a list of names inside, under the heading ‘People Who Have to Die.’ There were twenty names—hers, her daughter’s, her husband’s, teachers, and neighbors.
Even the girl who used to babysit him when he was five, who moved to New York a decade ago.
” Mike paused before adding, “And our names were on the list too.”
Henley stiffened, although if she was honest with herself, she wasn’t exactly surprised. The boy she’d counseled had been manipulative, angry, and downright mean. And when he’d been shifted to Mike’s caseload, he glared daggers at her every time he’d seen her in the hall at work.
The sheer…evilness Henley had seen in his gaze unsettled her. She hadn’t been upset the day Mike told her that he’d quit coming to his therapy sessions.
That had been over two years ago. It was a little hard to believe he’d been holding a grudge against them all this time.
Then again, it really wasn’t. There was something seriously wrong with the young man.
It devastated her that she and Mike hadn’t been able to help him…
but she honestly wasn’t sure anyone could.
She’d never believed some people were just born evil, but after meeting Christian, she’d changed her mind.
“I just wanted to make sure you were aware,” Mike went on.
“When did he write the list?” Henley asked.
“His mom’s not sure, but she guesses it was a while ago. All the pages after that were also filled in…with random ramblings, drawings, poems about death.”
“What are you thinking?” Henley asked. She’d always respected Mike’s levelheaded approach to life. He didn’t get riled up about much. Tended to take one day at a time. He always said that he did his best not to stress about anything he couldn’t do something about. It seemed like a good life motto.
“I’m planning on being a little more aware of my surroundings, but I’m not too worried. Teenagers are always a little hotheaded. They get riled up easily, but most of the time it fizzles out.”
It was the “most of the time” part that Henley worried about. And Christian Dekker wasn’t like most teenagers. Mike knew that, but she nodded anyway.
“Just watch yourself,” he told her. “If anything seems off, take note and do what you need to do in order to protect yourself. And Jasna.”
“Wait—was my daughter’s name on the list?” Henley asked, her spine going rigid.
“No.”
She sighed in relief.
“But you should be aware, just in case.”
Henley nodded. “I appreciate you telling me.”
“Of course. You’ve always been like a daughter to me.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m a little old to be your kid,” she teased.
“Not really. Sixteen-year-olds have children all the time,” he said with a wink.
Henley chuckled.
“Anyway, you headed to The Refuge this afternoon?”
“Yeah. I’m going to go see Mrs. Singleton at the hospital first, then I’ll head up there and run a group session before coming back and meeting Jasna at home.”
“All right, I’ll let you get going then. Take care of yourself, Henley. You’re too important to me, as an employee and a friend, for anything to happen to you.”
“I will. And same goes to you.”
Mike stood and Henley followed suit. To her surprise, he walked around the desk and gave her a quick hug. In all the time she’d known him, he’d never spontaneously hugged her. He was obviously a little more worried about Christian than he’d let on, but she did her best to push her concerns aside.
“See you tomorrow.”
Henley nodded and headed back to her office to grab her stuff.
As she walked out to her car, she took the time to study her surroundings.
Everything was quiet. No one seemed to be lurking in the shadows, and since the parking lot was right next to the building and next to one of the main roads going through Los Alamos, there weren’t any trees for anyone to hide behind while waiting to jump out and grab unsuspecting women.
Feeling better once she was in her car with the doors locked, Henley headed for the hospital. She needed to see Mrs. Singleton for herself to make sure she really was going to be all right.
Then she shivered a bit as she thought about heading back out to The Refuge.
She’d been going out there for years now, but for some reason, today she felt a little more excited.
Things between her and Finn were changing…
hopefully for the better. Even though he’d seemed a little standoffish when he’d left her apartment that morning, her mind replayed over and over how tightly he’d held her in his arms…
and she hadn’t missed the way he’d looked at her.
She’d seen something in that gaze. Something that hadn’t been there even a week ago. A certain determination…and keen awareness of her as a woman.
Yes, something had definitely changed. She wasn’t sure what, but she was thrilled. Now she just prayed she wouldn’t do anything to mess it up.