23. Adrian
Adrian
My fucking teeth gnash together hard enough that my jaw's going to stay locked in place permanently.
I can literally feel my omega's discontent at my back. I'm surprised the force of my fists hasn't broken the handlebars I have in a death grip.
Of course she's upset. It's cold, raining, dark, she's exposed to the elements on the back of a fucking motorcycle, and I'm sure all she wants at this point is her nest and a bath.
Ways to remedy this flash through my mind in a mental list, and I cross off here and there, quickly trying to land on how to fix this immediately before she breaks down.
Of course I'm fucking this up. It wouldn't be a surprise to anyone.
I've been denying my alpha instincts and closing off my natural connection to my primal for so many years, on top of pushing away any contact or interaction with omegas in general. My primal is practically fucking feral at this point, with the mental cognizance akin to a caveman.
It finally hits me that we need to take a different vehicle back to the house for the rest of the ride.
I can't let her endure this anymore. But the thought of calling one of my pack brothers to come pick us up has me feeling twitchy.
I don't want them to see how badly I'm failing at this, at taking care of our omega in the most basic of ways.
Pulling over at the next exit, I drive a little farther down onto the abandoned gravel road to where there's a large stand of trees with enough cover to block the majority of the rain. At least I can get her out of this downpour.
Pulling over, I kill the bike, but leave the headlight on, its rumble replaced with the pattering and weight of rain falling over the leaves overhead. "I'm getting us a ride share. I'll leave the bike for now and come back for it," I say, tensely removing my helmet first.
Helping her off, her hand trembles in mine and I inwardly curse myself again for my own fucking stupidity. Believe it or not, I had checked the weather yesterday and we were in the clear. Sighing, I reach for her helmet strap. "Let's get this off you."
When her face is visible, though, half shadowed, I see the tears, and it's like someone's reached into my ribs and squeezed my lungs.
She steps away quickly, turning without realizing I caught sight of her distress.
I watch as she unzips the oversized windbreaker and tosses it onto the back of the bike, the other two layers staying in place.
"What is it? Tell me what's wrong." But I already know; I've failed her, put her in danger, and ruined what should have been a great step forward.
"Adrian, it's fine. Now isn't the time or the place to have this conversation." She walks further into the grass, standing under the huge canopy of trees. The bike's headlight points ahead, leaving her mostly in the dark.
This is it then. She sees how useless I'd be as her mate, finally. All it took was one date, a matter of hours.
"No, say it," I add, numbly.
"I'm not doing this here."
"Yes, we are. Yes, you are. Say. It." I nearly bark and bite my tongue to keep myself in check.
"Fine, Adrian!" she says, losing her cool just enough. Somehow, seeing the weight of some of the emotion leave her puts me at ease. Even if it is directed at me. I can feel the frustration, the distress rolling off of her in waves and I can’t fucking stand it.
"I get it, okay? I'm trying to be the mate that you need, too.
This is a two way street. I understand that your needs won't be met just between our pack.
I understand. I just…" she growls, hands rubbing her face.
What the hell is she talking about? My brows furrow as I take a couple of steps nearer to where she stands. I can't say I'm not caught off guard by that opening. "Just what?"
"If you need to find other people to have sex with and hook up with outside of our pack, then fine.
Just don't make it obvious, please. I don't want to hear about any of your fucking conquests.
And Ever…" She swipes at her hair on her forehead.
"I don't…just, nevermind. I can't—I mean…
that's not for me to speak on. God, Adrian.
Whatever you need to do, I understand. We all have…
needs. I'm trying to also be what you need.
This isn't just a one-way thing between us. You've been great wi—"
"Excuse me?" I snarl, interrupting.
She jumps with a small gasp, stepping back as I follow. Every step she takes backwards, I step forwards until her back bumps the wide tree behind her.
Baring my teeth, I cage her in with both arms on either side of her head.
My senses are so honed and heightened that I can hear the rapid beating of her heart and the sharp intakes of breath as she looks up at me with wide eyes.
Apparently, this is the way to push my primal out.
My teeth practically fucking throb against my gums with the desire to claim.
Sniffing, I take inventory of her scent, fighting my damnedest to keep control.
No fear.
Only…lust coated in a fresh layer of confusion among her defeated sadness. Her perfume erupts around us as my head lowers.
My eyes roll back as I breathe her in, sweet honey and pure desire filling my lungs. I'm not sure I entirely understand. But, right now, with her scent so close, my inner alpha doesn't care about anything other than the fact she's in front of us and clearly turned on.
"You want me to fuck someone else, little omega? That's what this is about?" I growl, low and guttural, leaning in. Shivers wrack her body, sending a fresh wave of her arousal washing over me.
"No. But I want you to b—"
"No? Then why would you say it, granting me permission?"
"Because I know you're not attracted to me, Adrian!" She turns to look away, tears now spilling over and down her cheeks.
Her scent takes on an entirely new burnt twinge that makes me pause my pursuit, my nose twitching. The urge to fix whatever caused it is overwhelming. I realize, then, what she's just said. Not attracted to her? That's what this is about?
My laugh holds no humor as I shake my head and grip her chin, turning her to face me. But her eyes close, refusing to meet my gaze. "Look at me, little omega."
"No," she whispers.
"Look at me."
"No…"
"Fine. Feel me, then." In a swift movement, I have her legs wrapped around me, my body weight pinning her in place.
Grinding my hips into hers, those pale green eyes open wide in surprise, meeting my gaze with a gasp.
"Does that feel like I'm not attracted to you?
" I huff, holding our connection. Her mouth drops open slightly as I continue to move and press my hard cock exactly where I know she needs it, based on her scent reblooming around us.
"My body craves yours, little one. Do you know how fucking badly I wanted to pin you down and shove my cock inside you while we were on that damned gondola?
Huh? How many times I had to fuck my own fist during your Heat, listening to my pack brothers bring you to orgasm over and over?
The fact I have the sounds you make while coming memorized and have yet to be the cause of them is torture.
Do you understand how desperately I dream of having you under me, shaking in pleasure? "
Our breathing speeds up, chests heaving and mirroring the other as our bodies mold together against the tree. The sound of the rain around us is deafening, even as it hits the unending layers of leafed canopy above us.
"Y-you do?"
"I ache for you every second of every fucking day, little mate," I groan. "So tell me again. Do you want me to fuck another woman? Someone else outside of our pack?"
Her brows furrow, and finally, a little of that fire I know is hiding in her, surfaces again. "No," she shakes her head.
"Say it again. Louder."
"No."
"No, what?" I urge, needing to hear the words.
"I only want you to be with me…or Everette! Okay?"
Everette.