Chapter Sixteen
When Rachel opened her eyes, the first thing she noticed was the temperature. It was cold. The fire had gone out, and she could smell the smoke in the air. Her whole body hurt, and it took a moment for her to realize that she was lying on the settee.
What had happened? She sat up slowly, feeling tension in every part of her body. The settee wasn’t that comfortable to sleep on. It was a wonder she hadn’t fallen off.
Almost rolling off the settee and landing on her knees, she crawled over and built up the fire again. It wasn’t until the fire was catching light again that she heaved a sigh of relief. It was warmer now. It was a surprise she hadn’t frozen, given how cold it would’ve been during the night.
That was when she realized that Nate wasn’t around. She looked around, but she couldn’t hear anything. Had he gone upstairs to bed and left her where she was? She trudged upstairs and along to his bedroom, tapping gently on the door.
“Nate? Are you in there?”
No answer. Either he was fast asleep or he was already out at work. Rachel didn’t know what time it was, but it was definitely mid-morning from what she could gather looking outside.
Sighing, annoyed at him, she went back downstairs and sat on the settee. How could he have left without waking her?
A knock at the door made her jump, and Rachel realized she was wearing her clothes from the day before, now creased and rumpled. Her hair was likely all over the place as well.
She couldn’t answer the door like this!
“Rachel?” Isabelle’s voice came through the door. “Are you all right?”
What was she doing here? Rachel rose quickly to her feet. Isabelle? What had brought her here so early?
“I… I’m not ready!” she called.
“Don’t concern yourself with that. No one will mind.” Isabelle sounded reassuring. “May we come in? Tommy and Sammy are nearly frozen.”
She had brought her sons with her. Rachel crossed to the door and opened it at once, only then noting that the bar had already been lifted. Nate had already gone out, from the look of it. Isabelle and her children hurried inside, the boys shivering as they huddled near their mother.
“It’s so brisk out there!” Isabelle declared, taking off her sons’ hats and shaking them out. “I’ve lived here all my life, and I feel like I’ll never get used to it.”
“You’re not making me feel any better about my situation when you say that,” Rachel muttered.
“Sorry, but you would rather me be honest, wouldn’t you?” Isabelle ushered Tommy and Sammy toward the fire. “Sit down and get warm. But don’t touch the flames.”
The boys gave Rachel a friendly smile before trotting over to sit on the settee, their little legs barely near the floor. The sight gave Rachel a smile. She hadn’t spent much time with Isabelle’s children, but they were sweet. She wondered how long that lasted.
“Let’s go into the kitchen,” Isabelle said. “I can see them from there.”
“All right.”
Rachel was glad she had managed to clean up the kitchen after making the pie.
At least it wouldn’t be like they were living in squalor.
Isabelle took a seat where she could see her sons through the door, and Rachel made them coffee.
The smell of it wafted past her nose, and it made her feel a little better. This would be just what she needed.
“Nate already out at work?” Isabelle asked.
“I assume so. He didn’t wake me to let me know.”
She wondered what Nate was up to now. Was he helping with the damage in town? Or had something happened that needed his attention? Mercy Creek was so quiet that she couldn’t see any crimes happening.
“Are you all right?” Isabelle peered at her. “You look rather… preoccupied.”
Rachel sighed.
“I suppose you could say that. I was coming to see you last night, actually.”
“Me?”
“I wanted some advice on how to handle living with Nate. For the most part, we don’t interact, but when we do, it feels impossible.
” She stared at her coffee, watching the froth swirl.
“I tried to make him his favorite last night, and he got upset with the mess. We argued, and then he headed back to work.”
Isabelle blinked.
“What? You fought?”
“He did apologize, but I was too angry to take it, so we left it at that until I calmed down. Then I came to find you, but I… I was waylaid on the way there.” Rachel shuddered. “I was lucky Nate was around to rescue me, but it did make me uncomfortable.”
“You should’ve come to me.” Isabelle looked concerned, brushing her hair behind her ear. “I would’ve looked after you. If you two had argued, I could’ve let you spend the night. We have room.”
“It’s very kind of you, but I was fine. Nate and I talked things out. At least, I thought we did.”
“You thought?”
“I can’t understand him at all. He keeps whipping me around in different directions.”
Isabelle laughed.
“That sounds about right. He’d been like that since he was young. Although given how Father was with him, it’s hardly surprising.”
Rachel frowned. She still remembered how Isabelle described her father and how he had treated Nate, and it made her feel sick. She couldn’t imagine how a father could blame a child for something that wasn’t their fault.
“Do you think he would’ve softened to Nate as he became an adult?” she asked. “Would they have gotten along eventually?”
“I doubt it,” Isabelle snorted. “He was so full of hatred for what happened. When I began to understand, I feared that Father might actually hurt Nate one day. I spent several sleepless nights lying beside my brother in case Father came in to try and…”
She broke off, absently glancing toward her sons. Rachel stared.
“You think he would’ve tried to kill Nate?”
“I’m sure of it. He loved Mother, and I don’t blame him for that.
I just didn’t like it that he treated us so differently.
Nate was very lucky that he didn’t die before Father did.
” Her fingers danced around the rim of the mug.
“If he’d become an adult and Father was still alive, they wouldn’t be speaking to each other now.
And, if they got into a fight, Nate would easily win.
He’s a lot bigger and stronger than what Father used to be. ”
Rachel let this sink in. She couldn’t begin to imagine how someone could hate their own child. Then, against her will, her thoughts turned to her own beginnings.
She had not been raised beneath a father’s cruelty as Nate had, but she had been left all the same. Both of her parents had disappeared from her life before she was old enough to ask why. Had either of them cared for her at all?
Miriam had told her that her mother had been incredibly young and unable to care for a child, but after sending Rachel to Mercy Creek, Rachel didn’t know what to believe anymore.
Perhaps Miriam had meant to protect her.
Perhaps she had only told Rachel the gentlest version of the truth.
Either way, Rachel was no longer certain where kindness ended and deception began.
“It’s hard living with him,” she admitted after a long moment. “He’s very set in his ways.”
“I know, but once you get past his rough exterior, you’ll know that he’s a good man with a kind heart. You just have to see if you can get past it, and it takes some people more time than others.”
Rachel was not sure how much comfort she could take from that.
She didn’t know what to think about Nate.
There were times when he was stern and difficult, a man who scowled more than he smiled and seemed to need everything kept in its proper place.
He wanted his old life and routine where nobody could disturb the order he had built around himself.
But then she remembered the other side of him, how he’d helped her when Mr. Vane had frightened her and refused to leave her alone, and how he had protected her from him.
She remembered, too, how gentle he’d been when she came home soaked through from the snow, cold and shaken, and he had cared for her without making her feel foolish.
There was a compassionate side of him, and she’d witnessed it. It just wasn’t there very often.
“I know you don’t think you can cope if you have to be patient,” Isabelle went on. “But, trust me, it will be worth it. I love him, and I know he’s prickly, but you’ll see a good side of him soon.”
“How soon?”
The older woman gave her a gentle smile, lifting her mug to her mouth.
Rachel gulped down her coffee, ignoring the burn and glad that something was waking her up.
She felt worn out despite having slept all night.
Maybe she could get away with going back up to her bedroom and falling asleep once Isabelle, Tommy, and Sammy had left.
Everything was sorted, and Nate would likely not be back until the evening, so he wouldn’t notice.
“Are you all right?”
“Hmm?” Rachel blinked. “Why?”
“Because you looked rather flustered a moment ago. Your cheeks went red.”
“Oh.” Rachel looked down at the mug. “I think it’s from the coffee. It was hot.”
Isabelle gave her a knowing smile.
“I don’t think it was from the coffee.”
Rachel ignored that. She didn’t want to wonder what Isabelle truly meant. It was frustrating, and she wasn’t in the mood to untangle hints and half-spoken meanings. She just wanted to be left alone, but she wasn’t about to be rude to her sister-in-law.
And the boys weren’t doing any harm. They hadn’t gotten off the settee, only snuggling up against each other to keep warm.
Rachel glanced at them as she stood and crossed to the door, checking on them by instinct.
The sight softened something in her despite herself.
She wondered, with a sudden ache she had not expected, whether her own children might one day sit that way, safe, close, and certain they belonged somewhere.
Then, she realized what that entailed. Children with Nate. A family with Nate. The thought struck with such unexpected force that heat climbed onto her cheeks all over again. She turned away before Isabelle could see her face.
“So, you and Nate are still a little… prickly?” Isabelle asked.
Rachel grunted.
“I suppose you could put it like that.”
“Then why don’t I help you with that? There’s a supper and dance coming up soon, and everyone’s attending.”
“What?” Rachel turned. “You think we should attend a dance together?”
“Why not? You two are married, and it would make sense for you to go together. It will give you a chance to meet more of your neighbors and get to know everyone. And it will be an opportunity to talk to Nate and get to know him a bit more.” Isabelle winked.
“You might find you have more in common than you thought.”
Rachel didn’t know how that was going to work.
They were going to be in a public setting, and she’d seen how Nate behaved in private settings.
Making them sit at a table in a crowd was unlikely to make it easier.
If anything, she could see Nate pulling away and sitting around with a scowl, not wanting to interact with anyone, least of all her.
She wondered why Isabelle would try when she surely knew that her brother wouldn’t do what she wished.
“I don’t know what Nate is going to say to that except that I don’t think he’s going to be happy about it.”
Isabelle rolled her eyes.
“Nate is unhappy about anything that’s not work or staying at home. Unless he’s playing with his nephews. He attends these gatherings, but he’s always in his work capacity. He doesn’t take time off to relax.”
“I don’t think…”
“It’s something you and he both need. To get you out of your shell and help you relax. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”
“No,” Rachel murmured. “But I can’t see Nate agreeing to go, at least not with me. And…”
“And what?”
Rachel looked down at herself, at her crumpled dress.
“I’ve never attended anything like this. A supper and dance… I wouldn’t know what to do. What if I make a fool of myself? That would be embarrassing. And I don’t have anything decent to wear for it.”
Isabelle stood and approached her.
“I’ll take you out to get a dress fitted, one that will be just right for you to wear to this occasion.
” She squeezed Rachel’s arm. “And as for making a fool of yourself, that would never happen. You’ll be loved and accepted by everyone, even the grumpier members of Mercy Creek. Just be yourself and relax.”
“That’s easier said than done when you’re doing something new,” Rachel muttered.
Isabelle laughed.
“You have nothing to worry about. I’ll look after you. And, at the end of all this, I’ll make sure that my brother is the one taking care of you as he should. He needs to know that his wife is just as important as himself, and he needs to remember that he’s got one now.”
Rachel didn’t know what to say to that. It came out strangely, although she understood the sentiment. Isabelle really wanted the best for her brother, and she was trying hard. Rachel just wasn’t sure about it all.
“Anyway,” Isabelle said briskly, finishing her coffee and putting the mug on the table. “Let’s get going.”
“Where to?”
“I’m going to take you to the seamstress in town.
It will take a bit of time to make the dress, so we need to get you fitted as soon as possible.
” Isabelle steered Rachel out of the door.
“And we want a dress that will make Nate forget himself for a moment. You’re going to be the center of his attention. ”
Rachel wanted to say that a dress could hardly accomplish such a thing, but there was a glimmer of hope. After last night, when they had talked and opened up a little, perhaps there was a chance that something between them had begun to change.
Perhaps trying would make her a fool. But refusing to try felt too much like surrender.