Chapter 22
“You alright?” Erys asked, his lips pressed against her temple as she leaned on him.
“I’m fine,” she breathed. “Running into them was bound to happen and honestly, I’m handling it better than I thought I was going to. It just sucks because that stupid voice in the back of my head wants to know why they would choose my abuser over me.”
Erys laced his fingers in hers. They sat on the park bench watching the children skip along the brick-laid path with their parents.
Lovers walked hand in hand, friends eased by, and business people made their way to their respective places.
Remedy didn’t need his voice, in the moment she needed to hear her own and know that she was going to be fine.
“Like what have I done that was so horrible that hating me is their default? And it’s not a question that if it’s answered is going to make me perform again. But there’s this sad little girl in me who needs to know. For closure.”
“I’m learning that if that inner child isn’t healed, we hold on to it and pass it on to our kids. Ernie got shit he never healed from that was passed down to me. It’s rage and I can see where it came from,” Erys shared.
Remedy shifted. “I never thought about passing it down because I never thought about having kids.
Erys’ brows fused. “Why? Most women want it all.”
Remedy let a loaded laugh leave her lips.
“You should learn your lady isn’t most women.
That dream of having and wanting it all has never been one I’ve been afforded.
Children included. I have one ovary. They said my likelihood of having them was the same as having two but after the one ruptured it never happened again. ”
“Wild guess, the abuse?”
Her head nodded against his. “I told you that you didn’t want me. You thought I was lying?”
He kissed her temple again, the subtle reassurance.
“I heard you and didn’t care about none of that.
I want you. I need you. I’m not here for right now.
No fuckin’ way you gonna give me everything you have and I’m going to let that go.
If we have kids, we have them; if we don’t, we don’t. It’s not changing a damn thing.”
“You know what else you got from your daddy?” Remedy posed, looking up at him.
“Tell me. I’m learning every day with him that I’m more of Ernie than I thought.”
“That slick shit, that honey. That’s why they call him Sweet Lick Ernie. I’m gonna start calling you Sweet Lick Erys,” Remedy said with a chuckle.
“I mean you do give me some sweet shit but nah, don’t call me that shit. Before you know it, I’ll be wearing loud ass suits and dumping the whole bottle of cologne on me,” Erys groaned with a shiver. “The whole house smells like that shit.”
Remedy laughed harder. “Stuntin’ like your daddy.”
“Rem, you are not going to ride around in a Cadillac with me wearing a shiny suit,” Erys stated.
She turned to him. “I did it with your daddy for a year and that’s my homie. Why wouldn’t I ride around with you and you’re my man? I fear we are stuck together.”
“Damn straight. Since you moved your mean ass in.”
“No, sir, you moved me in. I went kickin’ and screamin’ too.”
Erys threw his head back and laughed. “I don’t remember it like that. I said I was movin’ his ass in and you said I’m goin’ with you, big daddy.”
Remedy laughed and nudged him. “Erys, please. Never have I ever called you big daddy. I could think of some other names but we aren’t going backwards.”
“Look at your mean ass having fun here,” Erys buzzed.
She smiled softly. “I like it here.”
He almost slipped, exposing his heart and all the emotions Remedy brought to the surface and was teaching him how to manage.
In his eyes, it needed to be grand because she deserved the action and the showmanship.
If he could slice his chest open and hand his heart over to her and still function, he would.
He was custom designed, made and fortified for her.
“Good, ‘cause I’m not letting you leave. You leave, I will be dragging you back kickin’ and screamin’.”
Remedy giggled. “You’d have to find me first.”
“That ain’t an issue. Your scent is embedded in my skin.
I’ll always find you,” he cemented his statement with a swipe of his thumb over her bottom lip.
The buzzing in his pocket stopped him from making out with his lady on a park bench like he was a teenager who actually got to experience the things teenaged boys should’ve.
Remedy repositioned herself so he could retrieve it without obstruction. “Ernie’s done?”
“Yeah,” he breathed, reading the text from the doctor’s office.
Remedy grabbed his hand. “Hey, look at me.”
He did.
“Whatever it is – good, bad, whatever. We got it. We’ll get a plan and we’ll manage it. Don’t beat yourself up. You came back just in time to love your father and let him love you,” Remedy spoke to the anxiety he felt. “Emphasis on let him love you.”
Erys gave her a small smile before standing. “I hear you. Using that mouth for good.”
She laughed softly. “I’ve been using it for good. I just like you now, so you reap the benefits.”
Back inside the examination room, Ernie walked in a wind of laughter. “You said you didn’t have a husband, right?”
“Mr. Ernie, I said I was engaged,” the nurse laughed, holding the door open for him.
“Now listen, a fiancé ain’t a husband. Neither of them don’t mean shit to me. I’m Steal a Bitch Ernie,” Ernie said matter-of-factly as he climbed onto the examination table. “Come listen to my heart. You got it skipping.”
Erys watched his father with a deadpan expression while Remedy muffled a giggle behind her hand. They sat back and watched as he picked up her stethoscope and placed it on his chest.
“Listen to it, baby girl,” he crooned.
Obliging him, she placed it in her ears and listened to the thunder of his heart.
“Yeah, that’s for you. Tell that nigga to get lost,” Ernie spoke, making her laugh harder.
“You’re too much, Mr. Ernie.”
“You want to find out how much I am?” Ernie posed. “You two get your asses out of here. I’m trying to get you a step momma, boy. You got to watch out for that one right there. Look at his face, he is a hater. Look like his daddy, but a hater.”
“He is handsome,” the nurse stated, silencing Remedy’s laughter.
“Alright now, bitch, that’s enough of all that fuckin’ giggling. Ernie, slow up before you get someone’s head turned around,” Remedy warned, no evidence of amusement on her face. “Flirt with Ernie, keep your eyes off of this one.”
Yes, Erys was in love and chose not to say a word. He found it amusing how Remedy didn’t even sit up in her correction.
“Ah shit, I done got you in trouble,” Ernie grumbled. “She’s a fighter, she’ll really turn your head around. I’ll holla at you on my way out. I can’t piss my girl off like that.”
The nurse winced and backed out of the room.
“Pops, you play too much,” Erys muttered.
“Too damn much, I almost forgot where I was,” Remedy huffed, crossing her arms and legs.
Ernie chuckled. “That boy hit you with the long stroke now you all possessive and shit. Good job, son.”
“Not the time, old man. You about to fuck up our dinner menu for the rest of the week,” Erys replied. “I haven’t had an egg white since she stepped into the house. Don’t mess that up for me.”
“Uh huh,” Ernie said, putting a mint in his mouth. “Got some cookie too. God knows you ain’t had that shit ever in your life.”
A knock sounded at the door pausing Erys from commenting back.
“Come the hell in,” Ernie called, rolling the peppermint around in his mouth.
The doctor strolled in, an iPad in her hands and a pleasant smile on her face.
Ernie sucked his peppermint and grunted. “All y’all fine. Good God almighty. Sweet Lick Ernie. What’s your name, sugafoot?”
Erys closed his eyes and settled his laughter. “I apologize. I think his sugar is low or something.”
“I’ve heard about him all day. The staff has been in stitches. So I’m looking forward to meeting the man of the hour. Mr. Moore, I’m Dr. Hammon-”
“You can call me, Sweet Ernie, suga,” Ernie grunted, taking her outstretched hand and caressing the back of it with his thumb.
Dr. Hammon chuckled and quickly recovered. “I’m the head of the neurology department here and I’ve gotten the reports from all the doctors and consulted them on how we’re going to manage the array of things expected from a man your age and your history. When’s the last time you went to a doctor?”
“When May was living, and her eyesight was good. I had a mark on my johnson one time and I swore that dirty hoe got me. I was trying out a new one. Don’t trip, son, it was before your momma,” Ernie stated.
“Not tripping,” Erys assured.
“So like I was saying, May did everything for me and my hoes. She even delivered one of their babies on her dining room table,” Ernie shared.
Remedy muttered. “I ate off that table.”
Ernie smirked. “I did too. Mm.”
Dr. Hammon cleared her throat in order to stifle her croak of laughter. “You are such a character. So let’s start with the light work.”
“Doc, you fine and all, but I prefer it hard and heavy. Give me all the bullshit first then the light and fluffy shit,” Ernie replied, crossing his arms. “How fucked up am I?”
Dr. Hammon pulled in a deep breath. “You have dementia with Lewy Bodies and you’re fortunately in the middle stage of it.”
“Fuck is Denita?” Ernie huffed. “I ain’t never had a hoe name Denita and I only knocked up one. Cherie not Denita.”
“Dementia with Lewy Bodies is a disease where protein builds up inside your brain cells. It eventually kills those cells, making it harder for you to walk, speak, sleep, and think. It changes the way your brain and body communicate,” Dr. Hammon shared.
Ernie was strangely quiet. “You guys know with this diagnosis, he cannot drive, own weapons, vote, or be left alone.”
“We’ve already adjusted,” Erys assured.
“Alright, you got more bullshit or are we going to harp on how crazy I am? I told y’all I’ve been crazy since I was a boy. What’s next,” Ernie grumbled.
“You do have high blood pressure and diabetes. We’re going to start you off on a long acting insulin and one blood pressure tablet for now.”
“Ain’t no need to tell me that shit. Talk to her.
I’m still gon’ have my coffee and my cake and a sweet treat from time to time.
I’m seventy-seven, I’m not trying to live forever,” Ernie shared, looking at his son.
“Now that we know all this shit, can we let me live out the rest of my days in peace? So what I see your momma from time to time? I’ll wear a diaper but all this other shit, I’m not doing.
All you got is the time I’m here. After that, I’m going with your momma and I don’t need you in my way. Understand?”
Erys swallowed the lump in his throat realizing that he couldn’t prolong the inevitable.
It was a gut punch when he realized that’s what he’d been trying to do despite knowing how this was going to end.
Ernie didn’t allow him the time to answer before getting off the table and walking out.
Remedy grabbed his cane and quickened out the room behind him.
Erys was left with the doctor, face to face with reality.
Another layer he’d discovered – delusion.
“I’m going to prescribe everything just in case he changes his mind. In these situations, his mind could change. There’s support groups and-”
“I got support. That’s not the issue. I wasted a lot of time. And what I got left is what I got left. That’s on me. Any predictions?”
“He doesn’t want any meds so we can slow this down. All I’m going to advise you is to get yourself some extra help and spend as much time with him as you can. If you need us, we are a call away,” Dr. Hammon spoke as they stood. Erys shook her hand and nodded in thanks.
After Erys settled the bill for the visit, he sauntered out to the car where Remedy and Ernie were having a standoff. Ernie was attempting to get behind the driver’s seat and Remedy had her back leaned against it.
“I don’t have the keys, Ernie. How about we walk, get something to eat, and sort through what you’re feeling?” Remedy attempted to compromise.
Ernie wasn’t having it. “I don’t want to sort through a muhfuckin’ thing. You said wasn’t no hole in my gotdamn head, turns out there is.”
“No,” Remedy gently corrected, holding his hands. “I said they weren’t going to put a hole in your head or cut it off. And look at you, still got your head. Still got some time. I thought we talked about you having time with your boy? I thought that’s why you needed me here?”
Ernie scowled at Remedy a long while before his features softened. “I don’t know how much time I got with our boy.”
“Doesn’t matter how much time you got. What matters is what you do with it? What are you going to do with it?”
Erys approached the duo. “Meet us down the street at that spot we found.”
Remedy took the keys and a kiss to the cheek. “Walk with your boy, Ernie. Take this with you.”
She wrapped Ernie’s hand around the handle of the cane and winked at him. “Go.”
Ernie flexed his jaw before he started his amble alongside Erys. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Waiting so long to tell you I love you.”