43. Chapter 43
Mariana
My intention was simply to steal a kiss from the man I've been obsessed with for most of my adult life.
Three minutes to plan when I might tell him how I feel.
What I'm hoping for. So I could go back to this party I've worked so hard to prepare, with the calming certainty that he and I are on our way to truly fixing things the right way.
But no. My parents found out I've been involved with my ex and I've had to think on my feet.
Inside, tremors run up and down my long bones.
They rattle in my joints. It's fine. I can ignore them, when they remain deep and invisible surrounded by my flesh and blood, warm and radiant with my emotions.
When I stand next to Dom and I feel strong in a way I hadn't before. Ever. It's the power of a united front.
Mom purses her lips. "Dom. You have to understand. We've never wished you ill. Like my husband said— you're a good man. But we love our children, and their happiness comes first for us. And Mariana has never said she'd find happiness in Seattle. And when I think of Cora as well…"
"Cora knows we're not expecting preferential treatment from her," I say. "As long as she does, we'll figure it out. Don't think it's up to you to decide what she and I do about this."
"Mariana…" my dad tries.
Dom squeezes my hand in silent support. I return it, and continue before my dad can add more.
"Don't, Dad." I keep my voice gentle but assertive.
"You've always said that our world is so small we have to expect overlaps like this.
Why is that okay when it's our family trying to get all my brothers playing for your team, but not when Cora might have to make decisions about Dom?
You've always said that it's about transparency and ethics, and the rest is letting people think what they will, because we will always have our honor. "
Despite their manners— how tightly they hold themselves together— they're stunned. It's a small sign, but it's there in the way their eyes widen. I let it make me strong. I've surprised them. I've never talked to them like this.
I press my lips together. "Cora and I act with integrity. So does Dom. Shouldn't that be enough?"
Dad frowns. His light-blue eyes study me carefully.
"Is it enough? Is this life what you really want?" Dad's tone is insistent. "To couple your goals to Dom's and leave the charity behind? Because we have never heard you so much as imply something like this."
"I'm sorry, Mom, Dad—" I lift my chin and gulp— "But you haven't heard what I really want because you never asked."
This time, they jerk back at my words.
I don't let it stop me. "I'm not free from fault, because I didn't ask myself those things either.
Not outside of the rules you gave me. You said I'd find success and happiness within the biggest goals I could have for my career and, hey— those goals are still there.
But if I went to England to make it happen more than six years ago, hell, if I married Henry at all, it was because that's how life unfolded before me when I followed your instructions. When I sought to make you happy."
I step closer to Dom, until he automatically surrounds me with an arm and our sides touch from my shoulders down.
I burrow into him. A tender ache bursts in my chest. Not because of the conversation that's been waiting for years to happen, but because we're having to lay everything out in the open, when we were meant to whisper it to each other in a quiet moment.
And yet, budding gratitude unfolds in my chest. Despite everything, we're finding ourselves here. Together.
"Mariana…" Dad tries again.
"Let me finish." I shake my head. "It's true I said Seattle was but a pit stop to prepare me— to convince you— that I had what it takes to run the charity with Maisie.
You know what I found? That my real happiness is in the life I can make with Dom.
With his friends, who have given me a sense of community I have never had before.
And after everything Dom and I have gone through the past few months, well… "
I stare at the man by my side, who studies me with so much patience and affection in his eyes, I'm tempted to say nothing else. To just take his hand and go find a place of our own. To escape this party and start the rest of our lives this very second.
But these words matter. We need them, to make our life everything we want. To come to terms with where we'll start.
I gaze up at Dom while I speak to my parents. "I've come to realize that a life with Dom is at the core of everything else."
His eyes shine with joy and pride. I ask him for a kiss. He smiles and drops his lips to mine for a moment.
My parents watch with wide-open eyes. They track every move, hear every word, but they don't seem to be making sense of it all.
"And the family charity?" Dad's eyes remain on me. "And Maisie? The family has always been your mother's and my focus. I thought you understood that."
Mom adds more before I can answer him. "I thought you knew our intention has always been to push you and your siblings for the best life you can aim for. We know what you're capable of. We've sacrificed plenty to make sure you have everything. More than anything your dad and I had when we started."
My hands shake, but I hide them in my dress. Dom pulls me tighter. He hears it too— the way my parents remind me I can't waste the million opportunities I've been afforded.
A year ago, I would have folded. Not today.
"I'm going to go far, Mom. Dad." I search for signs on their faces.
"Just not in the way you expected. I'm going to go for a life with Dom, and I'm going to continue my career here with the Strike if Selena will have me, and I'll figure everything else with Maisie, too.
Who knows, maybe taking the charity international means bringing it here to the US. I'll have time to figure it out."
My parents have the decency to actually consider my words. Or maybe they're holding back because we have some privacy, but not enough. And we definitely don't have time. Much longer, and people will start noticing we're not around.
"If that means success to you—" my dad says— "If that will make you happy—"
Dom's voice comes out firm. Deep. Ringing with the conviction he promised me.
"I'm proud of everything I've achieved, James.
Just like you are. I no longer feel I don't have enough to offer Mariana.
I hope that with time you'll see that what you consider to be small dreams is everything I've always wanted.
Shouldn't that be the real measure of success?
Because I believe in that for Mariana and me.
We'll be happy. And I hope you're around to see it. "
Mom's eyes turn sad. "We have done a poor job, if we haven't made it clear that your happiness is all we really wanted."
Someone laughs nearby, and I study the party through the floral arrangement. I've forgotten the event for too long.
"You need to go back," Dom says softly.
I take a deep breath. The conversation took my fight away, leaving me empty… but not desolate. It's empty the way a glade is, surrounded by a dense forest, but welcoming wild grass, flowers, and sunlight. So much sunlight and the glorious view of endless blue skies.
It contrasts with the sadness in Mom's eyes, and the confusion in Dad's. It's okay. Just passing clouds. With enough time, they'll find a way to process my words. I hope.
I put a hand on Dom's stomach, and gaze at my parents. "If that's true, then we'll need to work on it. You'll have a chance to explain how all you want is to see me happy. And I'll show you how happy I am with the life I'm making here with Dom."
"Yes, please." Mom nods. "We'd like that."
With a wide gesture of my hand, I point at the party beyond the floral decorations. "Look around, Mom. Dad. See what I'm accomplishing. This is the life I want."
"If that's the case, well." Dad frowns. "We'll support that, too. Of course."
I don't have it in me to smile at him, but I nod.
I gaze up at Dom. "Come with me?"
"Of course." He smiles and kisses my temple again.
I take his arm, in much the same way my mom has held Dad's the whole time. They stare at us, immobile except to make room for us and letting us walk past.
"The party isn't the right place to talk, but we should," Dad says.
"We will talk." I take a deep breath. "It might take some time, but we'll get over this. Right?"
Mom nods too. "We really want you to be happy."
"Then let me define what that means," I say, and walk away with Dom.
We march into the thick of the party. He can't rush with his knee injury, and we pretend we're walking slowly on purpose.
We end up holding hands, mingling and conversing with people, like this was always the way it was meant to happen.
We smile at people around us. Even Selena when we come across her.
She glances at our hands, a wrinkle appearing between her brows, but she doesn't ask anything. I make a mental note to discuss an HR meeting with Dom, but that's an issue for later. Right now, it's about finding a small pocket of time where to make a quick plan. A new quick plan.
We never stop touching each other somehow. Checking in with quick glances. Half an hour later, we find some privacy when we walk past another shadowed area very much like the one before, but it's him pulling me into it this time.
Again, I cling to him. This time it's him who kisses me. Pulls me close. He lets out a huge sigh of relief with me tightly held in his arms.
"I have a confession to make," he says. "I just discovered that I find it very, very sexy when you get assertive."
I laugh. "Because of how I talked to my parents?"
"I didn't expect you to join me in defending our future like that."
"If we'd had our conversation already, I would have gotten to warn you. It's been a few days since I decided I wanted to stand up to them."
"A few days, huh?" He caresses my face "That means my plan worked out."
"I'll tell you all about it when we talk."
"Are you sure you don't want me to wait for you until all your obligations are done?"
"Go home. Get in bed. I love the idea of coming to you and joining you there. Like it was always meant to be."
"It'll be like you're coming to me in a dream." He gives me one last kiss before he leads me back to the event. "Only this time it doesn't have to end."