44. Chapter 44
Dom
We work the event together for a bit longer. She doesn't let go and I'm happy to let her lead, as we walk through the party like we're not a secret anymore.
It's easy to suspend reason and pretend everything has been said, when she looks at me with happiness radiating from her. If she feels as much relief and determination as I do, then I know exactly why. We're set up. This time, with no deadline in sight.
We get separated when Pen comes to ask a few questions, and Mariana ends up leaving with her. She gives me a quick kiss and we laugh at Pen's reaction, before they disappear into the crowd.
I socialize with different people until I find Cora with Maisie and her wife. They ask about Mari and me but I don't tell them anything. Which prompts them to say I'm being annoying and therefore I belong right in with the family.
I laugh as I go in search of my friends.
First I find Rafa and Lori, standing in each other's arms like they are dancing, except there's no music, and they don't move.
They only gaze at each other and talk. I do not interrupt their moment.
I walk away and join Saint and his people, plus Logan and Evie.
"Your dad doesn't frown nearly as much as you do," Pat, Saint's dad tells our quarterback.
"My frown is my brand," Logan replies. "I did not inherit that from him."
"Nor from your mother," Evie says. "I was very happy to see his parents are not as… severe… as my future husband."
"Don't lie." Logan arches an eyebrow at her. "You'd miss my frowns if they were gone."
We all laugh. It's easy to join them when I'm so light inside. Can't wait to see how my friends react when Mariana and I tell them… whatever she and I decide. Once we finally put all our cards on the table, when there's no reason to rush.
"Fine, yes." She gives him a peck he returns. "I'd miss those frowns."
"It's like if Saint lost his dimples," Ames jokes. "Unfathomable."
"Lots of people would miss my dimples, though." Saint smirks. "Logan's frowns are more of an acquired taste."
We laugh again, right as Pen and Bear join us.
"Here." She pushes Bear into the group. "Take care of my husband, please. The event is dwindling and I need to go help with a couple of things. He's too distracting."
"In a good way," Bear says, like we need an explanation.
"Oh, yeah," Pen confirms. "I'm too obsessed. That's exactly the problem. Also…"
She grins and raises an eyebrow at me. I fake confusion.
She shakes her head, humor in the tilt of her mouth. "You didn't tell them that you've been seen walking around kissing Mariana in public, have you?"
"What?!" My friends exclaim around me.
"Mariana told me there might be new developments," Pen says, "but she needed to talk to Dom before explaining more. So don't say more either, Dom. Not until I'm here to hear it!"
"I can't make it public until I talk to Mariana," I argue.
"That's what I thought." Pen points a finger to me. "Now I have to go. See you all later."
She leaves, but the rest of the group grins at me like they don't need the details.
Logan pats my shoulder. "Only thing is, we're too clever not to connect the dots."
"We always knew this was the only possible ending to your story with Mariana." Saint's dimples pop more than ever. "See now why we were pushy?"
I roll my eyes in a mix of humor and exasperation. "No one ever needs to be pushy, least of all you lot. But you can't help yourselves, can you?"
"We cannot." Evie laughs. "And I hope you know we'll drill you for details, too."
I say goodbye half an hour later. I try to find Mariana but I don't, so I text her and go home. She asked me to get in bed but I'm too restless to do so. I kill time by doing my rehab exercises, then stretch the night with a long shower.
I'm sitting at the edge of my bed in my underwear, putting my brace on again after a long functional massage, when Mariana appears at my bedroom door. She leans on the frame, her make up and hair still perfectly in place, and her dress long and curved like a renaissance painting.
She crosses her hands at the front. "I'm definitely overdressed for this scene."
I smile and I get up. I move slowly but I reach her and, just like I imagined hours before, I put my hands on her naked shoulders. My lips settle on the spot I've been craving since I saw her in this dress, right at the base of her neck. Then higher where her pulse beats strong.
"I can help with that," I say.
She drops her bag on top of the dresser and lets me run my fingers over her. I learn the fabric of her garment, looking for the zipper. She lifts her hands to start undoing her hair. Pin after pin makes it to the wood, while I pull down from the tiny metal tab.
"Arms down, gorgeous," I whisper against her skin.
I take a step back and let her dress fall to the floor. I take her in. A full minute goes by when I do nothing but admire her form, with those hills and dips and curves covered in a matching black set, and all that soft texture, with shimmering stretch marks and dimples I want to put my lips to.
"Are you okay?" I bring her a step closer to me. "That was a lot. With the party and the way things went with your parents…"
She takes a deep breath, but her face remains calm. "I'm okay. There's a lot yet to figure out with them but… yeah. I'm good now."
"Good." I bring her even closer. "Then maybe we can make this night about us."
She smiles and puts a hand on my chest. "Yes. Please."
"I want you."
It comes from my lips like a confession.
"You have me," she says.
My heart beats fast. Can she feel it under her fingers? I hope she does. But I take her hand and kiss her palm. Her wrist. Then pull her until we're next to the bed.
She kneels and helps me out of my underwear.
We get rid of hers after. When I sit back on the bed, she straddles me and moves slowly, waking our bodies up.
I help her with long passes of my hands over her skin and, God, if my lips are away from her for more than a second, it feels like a wasted breath.
Our torsos touch when she takes me in. Our chests caress as she rides me. I surround her in my arms and we gaze deeply into each other, breathing fast through parted lips, tenderness and passion mixing with each shared heartbeat.
"I don't want to lose you," I whisper. "I should have told you that years ago."
My hands splay at her back. Her fingers bore into my shoulders.
Our eyes remain locked. She's wearing her nipple rings and I can't take those details in— our connection is crucial.
Everything about the moment is an important memory, like I begged her to let me sear into my mind weeks ago.
But now I don't want it only because one day she might walk away from me again.
I want it because I want it all with her.
"Stay," I breathe.
Her face breaks with the intensity of it all, and she surrounds my neck with her arms. Her face ends up burrowed against my neck. I hold her close. Her movements slow down, but I'm so deep in her, it's all perfect anyway.
"If you go," I add, "I'll follow."
"Dom…" her breathing changes.
The love I carry for her pulses bright inside of me. I'm full to the brim with how I feel for her. There's so much of it, she must be able to feel it thrumming through my skin.
"Wherever you are." I dig my nose into her hair. "That's where I want to be. We'll make it work, Mari."
"I want to be where you are, too." She rocks on me. "I'll stay."
I feel what must be tears falling onto my skin, and I make her look at me. The marks of their trails shine on her skin.
"Mari…"
"I choose you, Dom. I should have chosen you years ago. Even if…"
I can hardly breathe. My heart pounds against my ribcage. She's choosing me too. My chest opens up, so I can take in those words. Unadulterated joy follows.
We're getting everything we ever dreamed of.
A couple of fresh tears fall and I dry them gently with a hand.
"No need to cry." I kiss each side of her face too for good measure. "We'll figure it out."
"I'm not crying for that. It was years and I should have… we should have…"
"Sshhh." I guide her to lay down on the bed. "Hey."
We're on our sides, me on my good one to protect my knee, and I pull her top leg up to open her to me. She reaches between us and guides me inside again. We let out identical sighs and rock together slowly.
"Feel me like I feel you," I say.
"We lost time, didn't we?"
"It's okay." I kiss her. "We have ten times as long."
"I know. I'm the greedy one now," she moans.
"Be as greedy as you want with me." I curl the arm that serves as her pillow, until my hand can rest on her shoulder and she has no choice but to stay close to me. "It's okay. I love you."
We move in tandem, echoing each other, driving each other wild with the slow build up. And I kiss her again. And again.
She puts a hand over my heart. We keep moving slowly. She didn't say the words back to me before, and it doesn't look like she's ready to say them now either. It'll be fine. I'll wait for as long as I have to, as long as we have time.
I open my mouth to tell her she doesn't need to hurry her heart, but she puts gentle fingers over my lips. She stares at me, mouth parted and her face full of pleasure, but her eyes… they hold me captive.
"When you said it," she says, "my mind blanked. Not in shock. Definitely not in nerves of any kind. It was because I realized you were the last person to say that to me. So long ago. No one told me they loved me since you did over the phone, when I was engaged to someone else."
I shake my head at the injustice. My chosen person, having to go so long without hearing the words.
My soul aches for her. But I can't judge.
Her family shows affection through protectiveness and preference.
Mine through food and practical care, but they're not vocal about it, either.
The difference is that I've been certain of their feelings for me in a way I don't think she has.
Our movements are very slow, very gentle, and they feel like questions, but we don't stop.
"There was no love like this after you," she says. "Now we're together again and it's all I can feel."
I pull her hand away and kiss her fingertips. "Mari."
"There's so much freedom in love, isn't there? To be yourself and be accepted." She smiles. "Only with you I've felt it this way."
"Making you feel this way, always—" I caress her face. "It will be my favorite occupation."
Her smile stretches and she pushes me to my back.
It's a fluid move that ends with her taking me in deep.
Our moans mirror each other. She moves faster now, her hands braced on my chest. My hands reach for her hips and I gulp.
I need her. More. Always. So I run my hands up her back, silently asking to lean down to give me her mouth.
She does, and we lose ourselves into a kiss and her endless rocking on me.
She speaks so close I can feel her lips moving against mine. "I love you, Dom. So much. I choose you because I love you, it’s as simple as that."
The words are somehow unexpected. They dissolve into my burning chest and they're a welcome reprieve.
They pool right between my lungs, stealing my breath for a second, and I hug her to keep them from leaving me ever again.
I want no space between us. Nothing but heart-to-heart will suffice.
We need this kind of skin-to-skin connection, so our cells blend and we become one.
"I will always choose you," I say. "You're the only one I want to love like this."
And I kiss her again. Her pace goes up. I groan.
"I don't think I ever stopped loving you like this," she admits against my face.
"We won't ever stop. This time we'll do it right."
"We'll do it right," she agrees.
And she rides me until we're both spent.
It must be the middle of the night, but I don't check the time.
We hold each other in bed. She rests her head on my shoulder and I keep her close. Pushing the minutes until we're ready to sleep. Darkness envelops us and, though she must be tired, we remain awake. I'm too wired to close my eyes yet.
"Tomorrow morning, stay in bed." I keep my voice as slow as I can make it. "I'll bring us breakfast so we can have a proper talk."
"I'll tell you about my trip and the lovely conversation I had with my sisters."
"We'll make plans for the next few months."
"We need to talk to HR, and I need to talk to Selena."
"Yeah?"
"I'd rather go right ahead and ask if she'd let me stay and work for the Strike permanently."
"And your parents?"
She sighs. "If they don't call me first, maybe we can invite them over?
Your place or mine, or go out somewhere.
Chat a bit more. I think… I think I believe them.
They want our happiness. They've just been very confused about what that means.
What it looks like. So I was confused about what they wanted from me, too. "
"Of course. We'll invite them over." I smile, even if she can't see it.
The warmth spreading through me will finally lull me to sleep, I know, but first I want to capture this feeling. It has the power to carry me onwards, no matter what comes next.
"We're two college kids who fell in love," I say. "Who needed to go on adventures to grow up and find each other again. And we did. Now a new path opens for us. We'll walk it together, okay?"
She sighs and adjusts herself around me. Still not letting go.
"Deal." She kisses my chest. "Carmen and Luis from colonial Guanajuato would be proud."
I chuckle. "Maybe because of it, he'll bless us with an eternity of happiness, rather than the measly seven years others get."
"Oh, I like that. Maybe your mom will like me better this time around too? Especially if we go to her hometown and you and I kiss on that magical step between the balconies."
"She'll love you as much as I do regardless. You'll see."
"Counting on it, mi rey."
"Okay, no," I laugh. "It doesn't work that way."
"Maybe it'll teach you a lesson…" She yawns.
"We'll see about that." I caress the patches of skin I can reach. "Now go to sleep, honeybee. I'll take care of your dreams."
"They all involve you anyway," she adds, and it's the last thing either of us say.
I stay awake as her breathing slows down and she melts against me. My eyes close after a while, but only after every mistaken belief I ever held has gone away, do I let myself sleep.
New Year's Eve. Training and recovery. Another championship ring, if we can manage. And a lifetime with Mariana.
That's where I put all my hopes. It's all I'll fight for. And more than the kid in me ever dreamed of.