Chapter 11 #2
Me: Lol, okay, Theo, calm down. Enjoy your day :) Until next time.
Theo: Until next time.
I don’t know how I would have handled that conversation in person. I can’t deny that some of his comments have me sweating in areas I don’t want to admit to.
The way he uses his words, even through text, makes me feel every single word. One thing I’ve learned about Theo is that he is well-spoken. And I feel there is genuine intent behind everything he says. I will be in alert mode this weekend. This seems too good to be true.
Once I’m in my car, I give my mom a call. Of course, she doesn’t answer. I planned to stop by before heading home. Something tells me I should go by and check on her either way. I need to make sure she’s still breathing and has access to food.
I don’t think Nora has been over to see her in a while.
Do I blame her? No, not at all. Most would disown their parents if they went through half of what we did.
However, even if I keep a distance between us, I can’t leave her all alone with no one.
It’s only the three of us. We are in contact with no other relatives.
And it’s been that way my whole life. I refuse to lose another person in my life.
Pulling into the trailer park gives me a sense of “home,” but it also makes my stomach turn in unimaginable ways. This is where I grew up. From the start until the day I moved out years ago, I have some of the best memories and others that haunt my dreams.
There are parts of this place that are the same as I remember it as a child.
But since then, there have also been changes.
I felt a tinge of sadness when Danielle’s parents’ old trailer was torn down years ago and replaced with a newer model just because her house was my break away from the chaos at home.
Sometimes, when mom would leave me by myself for days, I would run to Danielle’s, and her parents would always welcome me with open arms.
As far as I know, my mom is the only person who has lived here for a decade.
She has no choice but to. No one has the money to move her elsewhere.
Times have changed tremendously. Rentals now require background checks and good credit.
Let’s not forget that mom lives off a disability check.
She doesn’t even meet one requirement. She’s very inconsistent with her life choices.
So this is what it’ll have to be, at least for now.
Pulling into the driveway, overgrown grass and weeds invade the ground.
Wispy vines are weaved and wrapped into the vinyl of the house.
They creep up to the roof and cling onto the neglected gutters.
This place looks abandoned. Guess I’ll need to find someone to come and take care of the lawn again.
This is the reason my visits have space in between them.
I can’t deal with this shit all the time. I feel I was robbed of having a mother and, in return, forced to be the mother figure to the one who birthed me. It’s a fucked-up situation, but here I am, playing mom.
Walking to the front door is a challenge.
It’s like I am walking through an undiscovered jungle.
The long blades of grass and thick weeds harass my legs.
By the time I reach the stairs, my legs are itchy, and I bear scratches from my short travels.
The door is cracked open, so why knock? Stepping inside, I scope out the living room.
It looks the same as it always has. Mom’s dusty chestnut-washed china cabinet still holds the small porcelain figures my mom used to love to collect.
When I was little, I used to love carefully playing with them.
I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath.
Do you know how certain smells stick with you for a lifetime?
It’s the realest thing. This place has a distinct smell that lingers with flashbacks.
I can picture little me and Nora Ray sitting on the floor playing Crash Bandicoot together.
My heart aches with the good memories of this house.
I can tell Mom has cleaned very little, which is still weird to me. She once was a cleaning fanatic. This place was always spotless, with not one speck of dust to be found. Nora and I had daily chores to keep this place in tip-top shape.
Now, I look around and see a disaster. There are piled dishes that have probably been there for weeks.
Dirt piles and hand-length dust bunnies latched onto things.
I let out a long, agitated sigh. I might as well get this place in decent condition before it turns into something more.
I can’t afford to hire someone to come tidy this place up especially since I’m already needing the weed infestation taken care of.
First, I need to figure out where Mom is. I know she’s here somewhere. My first guess is her bedroom. She’s always spent most of her time in there, well, when she’s home. Since her DWI years ago, she doesn’t go anywhere anymore. But if Jewels need to go somewhere, she will find a way.
I walk towards the hallway and glance at the bathroom. I instantly feel chills run up and down my spine. Unwanted visions throw themselves into my thoughts.
I close my eyes and rub my temples. Not today, Olive, not today.
I walk across the small hall and peek into my old bedroom.
It looks the same from the day I moved out, untouched and flooded with nostalgia.
My two Backstreet Boys posters still hang on the aqua-blue wall behind my old, unused bed.
The memories ambush my mind every time I step into this room.
I walk over to my small, battered dresser and pick up origami notes between Danielle and me. They’re still folded to perfection. And I can’t help but smile, thinking back to those adored moments with my best friend.
I close my bedroom door and head towards Mom’s room.
Sure enough, I find her lying on her stomach on top of the bedcovers.
Her room reeks of alcohol. Beside her lays an empty pint of Tito’s vodka.
I’m assuming she passed out and forgot to put the lid back on the bottle.
There is a small spill circling the opening of the bottle.
Mom isn’t one to leave a bottle half full.
Which tells me she drank the entire pint in one sitting.
And now she’s intoxicated and passed out.
Me being me; I grab the small, quilted blanket hanging on the bedpost and quietly cover her. She’s probably not waking up anytime soon. When she gets in these drunken states, she normally sleeps it off, just to start again as soon as her eyes fly open.