22. Camile
CAMILE
The minute I see Shelley crying again, I feel sorry for her. At first, I was livid with anger, but as I've calmed down, I can empathize with her situation and how she acted.
I understand all too well that by not exchanging my mother's life for my brother, I have put the men at this club in more danger.
If I had, Hector would have walked away, perhaps, and left us in peace.
But I couldn't do that to my own flesh and blood.
There is no way, even though we are no longer that close, that I could betray my brother.
So, if I can't do that for somebody who hasn't really been there for me, why would I expect Shelley to sacrifice her sister for the sake of the club?
It would be hypocritical of me to do so, and I'm trying not to be hypocritical about things.
The way Vani acted has made me aware of her double standards about things now.
Even though I understand her feelings, because it's her father after all, I can still see those double standards clearly. It’s made me be careful not to have them myself.
The moment the call ended, Ace started to pace the room, but now he stops suddenly to turn and look at me. He points at me as if I've done something wrong and says one word.
“No.”
Rook blows out a long sigh. “I agree. Sorry, but you’re not doing it.”
Oh, my God, these men are so frustrating.
This is my life, and I'm the one who gets to choose.
If they think I'm doing this to be a sacrificial lamb for the club, because I'm so desperate to help them out, they are wrong.
Of course I want to do it for the club, and even more so for Ghost, but I want it for myself, too.
Hector murdered my father, destroyed my home and my family business, then Ledger tried to ruin my life, and Rook’s as well. What Ledger put us through was horrendous, and, though I’ve never met him, Hector looms large in my imagination. Almost as if he’s a monster from one of my childhood books.
I need to see this man for myself.
I don't want to face a future where I'm having panic attacks or night terrors about Hector because I think he's still out there. I know myself well enough to understand that if I can see, with my own eyes, my men taking Hector’s life from him, I can put all of this behind me, finally.
It would be the last paragraph on this fucked-up story that I need.
The guys probably think that seeing more violence will just add more trauma, but I don't feel that way.
I grew up in this world. I want the cartel ended, and all their men gone, and I want to be there to witness it.
I want to stare into the eyes of the man who murdered my father as the light dims from his, and for him to know that it was fucking around with me that brought him his demise.
And frankly, I feel as if I've earned the right for that.
I've gone through so much at their hands, I should be the one who gets the final say on whether I attend the exchange.
Not these overprotective guys who I love with all my heart, but who act like cavemen when it comes to dictating to the women in the club.
“You don't get to decide that.” My voice is quiet but firm. I learned a long time ago when dealing with my father that getting hysterical and shouting didn't get me anywhere.
“With all due respect, Princess, I don't really think it's our decision at all. Not just you, but me and Rook, too. This is something that Jack should decide.”
What the hell? I place my hands on my hips and stare at Ace. “Jack is in the hospital, recovering from major surgery. The last thing he needs is any stress or to be asked to make decisions.” And truly Jack is not acting as the president right now. “So… maybe we should bypass Jack and ask Saul?”
Ace snorts a laugh, taking me by surprise.
“Ah, it's so sweet, Princess, that you think I'm only asking Jack in his role as the president.
He is the most overprotective man that I've ever seen when it comes to you. And I include myself in that. He would literally string us all up if anything happened to you.”
Rook is nodding along to of this, silently agreeing. He taps two fingers against his chin as he listens to what Ace says, then he speaks.
“Honestly, he’s right about Jack. I know he's not well, but he's got all his brain cells fully functioning, and he will absolutely hit the roof if we take you with us without his say-so.”
“Fine,” I relent. “But I want to speak with him when you call. I need to give him my reasonings to try to make him see sense. Remember, this isn’t only me saying I need to be there. This is Hector. He’s expecting to see me, and if he doesn’t, what will happen to Ghost?”
A heavy bang to the office door makes me jump.
I turn to see the door open, and Zoo walking in with a huge guy.
I've seen him around the compound before but not really taken much notice.
He rushes straight over to a tear-stained Shelley and pulls her from the chair into his arms, whispering soothing murmurs as he kisses the top of her head.
I can see why they call him Bear. He's not only tall and broad, but he's heavy, too, with a beer gut pushing against the band of his jeans and straining his cut.
He's got a long, thick beard and straggly hair, but a friendly enough face for a man of his size. Although, at this moment, his brows are drawn down into a deep frown.
Zoo has followed him into the room and, trailing him, is Phoenix.
“You want me to hang around a bit, Ace?” Phoenix asks.
Ace glances at Bear hugging Shelley closely to him, and just gives a silent, quick dip of his head in agreement.
“Does anyone want to tell me why my ol’ lady is red-faced and devastated while sitting in the office with all of you men?” Bear has finally pulled away from her, but his arm is still around her shoulder, and he's fixing Ace and Rook with daggers.
“It's not their fault, darling,” Shelley sniffs. “I've done something really bad, but they've assured me that they're not going to take any revenge on me. Even though I truly deserve it.” She bursts into tears again. Not the big, wracking sobs of earlier, but soft, gentle, hiccupping cries.
“Baby, what did you do?” Bear doesn't ask the question angrily; he asks it with a note of fear in his voice. He glances again at the men in the room.
I can see the calculations whirring away behind those intelligent brown eyes of his.
He knows he's outnumbered. As well as Ace, there's Rook, Zoo, and also Phoenix in the room now.
But I can guess that if he believed there was one moment of threat toward his Shelley, Bear wouldn't hesitate to defend her, even if it meant losing his life.
To the outside world, these men might look rough and tough and dangerous to know, but from my time spent with the club, I know that a great number of them love their women. They love them with a fierceness and a protectiveness that makes my heart melt.
Between little hiccupping sobs, Shelley spills everything to Bear while he holds her hand.
Her heartbreak and torment are clear in every word she speaks, and though she’s directing the story at Bear, the entire office is held rapt.
I find myself welling up, despite the result of her actions.
It’s nearly impossible not to feel something.
I’m clearly not the only one who feels this way as I glance over to find Phoenix shiny-eyed with unshed tears, his lips pressed into a thin line.
“I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, Shelley,” he says.
“It must have been terrifying. The fact they took your sister, and threatened her with such horrific crimes, it's beyond the goddamn pale.” He walks over to where she's standing with Bear and gently reaches out to touch her shoulder.
“I promise you that when we go to bring our men back, we’ll also save your sister, and I'll take as many of those fuckers out as I possibly can.”
“Not that I'm not grateful to you for offering,” Bear says, “but you seem really fucking outraged on behalf of my ol’ lady.”
“I'm outraged on behalf of anyone who is threatened with that kind of violence,” Phoenix points out.
He isn’t alone. I know Ghost feels the same way about people being assaulted, and they are both men who served militarily. I wonder if Phoenix had something similar happen to him as happened to Ghost, or if he witnessed terrible things that have given him such a protective way about him.
“Thank you, Phoenix.” Shelley gives him a wobbly smile. “That means so much to me. I'm aware of how much harm I've caused here, and I wouldn't blame any of you if you hated me.”
Phoenix shakes his head and scratches his stubble covered cheek.
He has a short beard, or long stubble, depending how you define it, which masks a ripple of pale scarring beneath.
Dark, unruly hair, and ink covers his defined arms, though.
If I look closely, I can see that many of the tattoos are covering scarring, too.
He’s a truly intimidating presence even in a room full of them.
What strikes me about him, though, is how hard his face can look. He’s handsome, but he looks as if life has never been easy.
“In all the time I've known you, Shelley, you've only ever cared for others.” His deep voice is gruff, as if he’s holding back emotion.
“You did it back at the old club. You patched us up whenever we were hurt, and you never complained.
From what I understand, you do the same here.
You're loyal and you are kind. And from what you've just said, you and your family have been through absolute hell.
So, you don't have to thank me, because I can't count or remember quite how many times you've patched me up.” He pats Bear on the back and walks away to stand to the side of Jack's desk, arms folded across his chest and legs crossed at the ankle.
Ace taps the map on the desk. “We need to get planning. We don't have long to make sure this is airtight, and I want to go over things one last time. We also need to make that call to Jack. I'll fill you in about that in a moment, Phoenix.”
Bear takes Shelley's hand again and squeezes it tight. “Come on, baby, let's give the guys some space. We'll only be in the way.” He glances to Ace. “I'll have her safe back at the house if you need to speak to her again.”
As they reach the door, Bear pauses and turns to Shelley. “Go on ahead of me for one moment, baby. I won't be long.”
The door shuts softly behind her before he speaks, directing his question at the guys. “How do I know Jack won't order Shelley to be taken out for what she's done?”
“You think Jack is a sort of man who would order the execution of a woman?” Ace snaps, his eyes narrowing.
“I think Jack is the sort of president who will do whatever it takes to protect the club, including getting rid of traitors who've betrayed his men and caused one of them to be taken captive.”
“Jack won't harm Shelley.” It's Phoenix who speaks up.
“I can damn well guarantee that, and I've known the man a long time.
He's not going to harm your ol’ lady. You can stop worrying.
I think you need to worry more about her mental state and her distress.
Go be with her, look after her, and leave the rest to us.
We'll get Ghost back alive, and her sister, don't you worry.
And then all's well that ends well… right?”
Bear shrugs as if he doesn’t believe it. “Just be aware that anybody that comes for Shelley has to go through me.”
“I wouldn't expect anything less,” Ace says. “I'd be the same way about Camile. I totally understand.”
Bear’s lips pinch, his nostrils flaring. He stares around the room, as though trying to read all our expressions, then, finally accepting what’s being said, he gives a curt nod and backs out of the office. The door swings shut behind him.
Phoenix blows out a breath. “God, that poor woman. To go through all of that.”
“Yeah, and she’s the kindest,” Rook agrees.
“That’s why they targeted her, the fucking bastards.” Phoenix is wearing a dark expression that makes me think he’d go to bat for her almost as much as Bear would.
“We need to call Jack,” I remind them.
“Someone needs to find Saul, too, and fill him in.” Ace nods.
Phoenix glances between us three and jerks his head at Zoo. “Shall we give them some privacy?”
“Yeah, come on. Let’s go check on Jarrod then find Saul.”
They leave the room, and Ace picks up his cell. He puts it on speaker and makes the call.