23. Jack
JACK
The buzz of my cell phone jerks me from a drug-induced doze.
I’d insisted on my cell being returned to me. I'm a grown man, after all. A president of the whole MC, no less, and keeping my stuff from me was out of order. It means I've been able to amuse myself by doom scrolling and playing Tetris.
I'm longing for some action, though; I'm not a man who’s used to being forcibly lazy and doing nothing. I understand, of course, that I'm recuperating and need to let my body rest, but it doesn't make it any less irritating. I see the number on the screen and swipe to answer.
“Ace,” I say. “What God-awful things have you rescued today? No snails or slugs this time, huh?”
“No, Prez, of course not. I won't be rescuing anything else slimy.” He chuckles, but his tone is serious when he speaks next. “Listen, Jack, you're on speaker, and I've got Rook and Camile here with me. We've heard from Hector, and he insists that Camile goes with us when we make the exchange.”
“Fuck, no.” The words are out almost before Ace has finished speaking.
There is absolutely no way my Baby-girl is going to put her life in jeopardy that way. I wouldn't trust the cartel as far as I could throw them. She’ll be walking right into danger, and the very fact Hector has asked for her to be there makes me incredibly suspicious of his motives.
“We knew that would probably be your view,” Ace continues. “To be honest, we agree with you, and that was our initial reaction. But Camile wants to go.”
“Yeah, well, Camile doesn't get to decide to be a hero. She's under our protection, and I'm the leader of the club. What I say goes, and I say no.”
“Jack, just listen to me for a moment.” Camile’s voice is soft but firm.
I recognize that tone immediately and suppress a sigh of frustration.
It's the same voice Vani used to deploy when she wanted me to see her as a grown-up.
Her I'm being an adult and you need to listen to me and take on board everything I'm saying because I'm keeping calm and collected voice. It means Camile’s made a decision that she's determined to stick to, and one I'm not going to like.
“I'll listen, Baby-girl, but I'm not going to like it, and I don't think it's going to help me change my mind.”
She gives a soft, slightly frustrated laugh. But then she starts to speak, and I do what I promised and listen.
“Of course, I want to go because I don't want to place any more members of this club in danger.
You've all done so much for me and risked your lives.
Now, because of me, Ghost is being held by these people and his life is at risk.
So yes, I want to go for selfless reasons, but I also want to go for me, Jack.
What Ledger did was awful, and the things that happened while he was holding me haunt me.
When you let me decide Ledger's fate, you gave me back some control over my life, and I will never forget that.
I think that's what I need in order to heal. My entire existence has been about doing what other people tell me. Mostly men.”
There’s a long moment of silence, and I open my mouth to reply, but she hasn’t finished.
“Hector killed my father, forced my mother and brother into hiding, and his son was behind me being kidnapped. He’s the demon I need to slay.”
Well, hell, when she puts it like that.
“I need to be there, Jack. You must understand, because I'm sure you'd feel the same. If somebody did half the things to your family that have been done to mine, you'd need to be there to see the moment their life was ended. Don't be yet another man who takes away my ability to choose. I want to get your blessing to go, but at the end of the day, I’m doing this, whether you say so or not. I know where the exchange is happening. If you say no, I’ll find another way to be there.”
“Baby—” I start, but she’s still talking.
“I promise I'll hang back as far back as I'm told to, and I'll do everything I can to stay safe. But I want to look Hector in the eye before he dies.”
Goddamn it, she’s put it so perfectly in a way that she knows is going to make me want to say yes. Of course, I understand her desire to see for herself the moment that revenge is taken on Hector. But I'm not remotely convinced she'll be able to stay safe in the way she imagines.
I clear my throat. “Ace, I’m guessing you’ve spent enough time looking at those maps. Is there any way it can be done, and she can be covered the entire time?” I hope my Road Captain has a foolproof plan.
“Well, obviously, I can't give a cast iron guarantee.” Not what I want to hear.
“However, there are hills above and around the airstrip, so we could easily position men up there in advance of us arriving.
Phoenix has a very specific set of skills, as you know.
He's a damn good long-distance shooter, and if he's up there with a spotter, he could cover Camile pretty well. If we have two or three men making sure that anybody who could get a lock on her is already in our crosshairs, then I guess that's as safe as we can keep her. And, of course, we’ll protect her with our lives.”
“We could have her wear a vest, too.”
Rook’s interruption is welcomed because, damn, that’s a good suggestion.
People think bulletproof vests are just for show, because they assume that a person could easily make a headshot.
That's not true, though. In a high stress situation, such as a gunfight, a head is a small, often moving target.
People run, twist, duck, and turn, making it difficult even for skilled marksmen to get off a good head shot.
Most people are not skilled marksmen and aim for the center of most mass, which is the body, and we can keep that safe by giving her a bulletproof vest.
I grind my teeth, still not one hundred percent happy with this situation. What will happen if I say no? Will Ghost be killed? Camile will never forgive me for that. She may never forgive me, no matter the outcome. I don’t want to become another man who controls her.
The urge to roar my frustration fills me. If I could be there, with them, I would feel more secure about Camile’s safety, but that’s impossible. I guess it comes down to one thing: do I trust my men with her life?
They love her, just as much as I do. I have no doubt that they will die for her.
So, yes, I guess I do.
I release a breath from the depth of my lungs and pray I’m never going to be made to regret this.
“Okay, I don't like this one bit, but if Camile promises to wear a vest, and you get enough men up in those hills with their sights on the airstrip, I suppose we've made it as safe as it possibly can be.”
“I’ll wear a vest, I promise.” Camile's eager voice drifts down the phone.
I wish she was here now, so I could give her a kiss and hold her in my arms. If this goes wrong, I might not get to see her again, and I've only just let her into my life.
Suddenly, I’m taken back to the first few days after my wife died. Those terrible, desolate days after flip through my mind, but I push them to one side. If I'm going to make this work with Camile, I can't smother her because I'm terrified of something happening to her.
She would grow to hate me and resent me.
She's a young woman, and she's got a lot of life ahead of her to live, and like most young people, she probably feels invincible.
If I try and stamp out every little bit of that within her, I'll either make her into somebody different, or she'll simply want to leave.
Yes, this is much more dangerous than I'd like, but I understand her reasons for it. And I also do think it's the best way to get Ghost back in one piece. Plus, the way things are, we have no idea if someone might take the chance to hit our compound while a large group of us are out of there. Keeping Camile apart from the men who love her the most might prove to be even more dangerous. Who knows who the fuck we can trust, or what’s going on with other groups right now? At least if she’s with Ace and Rook, I know they’ll lay down their lives to keep her safe.
“Anything else I need to know?” I ask, half dreading the answer.
The long, drawn-out beat of silence tells me that yes, there is.
I snap. “Jesus Christ, do I have to drag it out of you all?”
“You can't get stressed,” Camile says. “It’s not good for you.”
“Camile, you just asked me if you can walk into what's possibly going to be a gunfight, and you say I can't get stressed? I don't think anything can stress me out as much as you asking to go to this exchange.”
“He's got a point,” Ace says with a chuckle. “We found out who the leak was, Jack. It's Shelley.”
I’m stunned into silence. Nothing Ace could have said, other than it being Camile herself, could have shocked me more.
Shelley is an absolute sweetheart, a genuinely kind, soft-hearted person.
She's the sort of woman who cries at movies and sad songs, and when she sees those ads on the television for helping children in need. She’s patched my men up for years, and always done so with a quiet strength, and that gentle way she has.
God, I think Ace might have been wrong to tell me, because my heart feels like it's beating far too fast at this news.
It makes me wonder if I can trust anybody, and it makes me second guess my judgment.
“She had her reasons, Jack.” Ace is as serious as I've ever heard him.
“They took her sister, and it's the only blood family she has left.
It's a long story. Once this is all out of the way, I'll come to the hospital and explain it all, but I've given her my assurance that she won't be targeted by any of us. Rook agrees with that, and Zoo and Phoenix, too.”
Well, if Phoenix doesn't want her hurt, either, I’ve got to trust Ace is correct and she has a good reason for doing what she did. Still, it's a massive betrayal of her man and the entire club.
Camile’s beautiful voice comes down the line.
“She's a real mess, Jack, and she regrets it.
She hasn't been able to stop crying the entire time that I've been in this room with her, and trust me, I wanted to claw her eyes out when I found out.
When we tell you about it all, you'll understand, I promise.”
Camile will always manage to talk me around somehow. I should be worried because she's going to be twisting me around her little finger forever.
“I wish I was there with you right now, so I could give you a kiss.” She giggles softly. “Or something more.”
“Baby-girl,” my voice comes out as a warning, “don't be teasing me now, or you will not be able to cope with what I do to you when I’m recovered.”
She laughs again, and the sound lifts my heart.
I can’t wait until I’m back with her, but first, she and my men have to pull off an audacious plan. All while I’m stuck in this bed.
It’s going to be hell while I wait for news.