Chapter 35
Riley
“What was that?” My mother asks, leaning against the door frame to the living room. I’m sprawled on the couch with my feet up on the coffee table. Connor is curled next to me with his head resting on my thigh, but he lifts it at my mom’s voice, ears perking up and tail thumping against the cushion.
“What?” I slowly bring the beer I’ve been nursing to my mouth and take a long sip, trying to arrange my thoughts.
I’ve been psyching myself up for this conversation since I left Steph and everyone else back at the beach.
My mother doesn’t miss much, and despite Steph’s upset at my having told Aidan about Matt, I’m not prepared to lie to my mom.
One could argue I’ve been lying for months by not volunteering the information, and I’ve been desperately clinging to the distinction that omission is not a lie.
But it’s still a form of deception, isn’t it?
“You know what.”
I sigh.
“I can’t talk about it,” I try half-heartedly, but she gives me her stern mom-face. We both know I’m going to cave. It’s long overdue, and I’ve had enough of deception. I came back here to start over—to be better. This is part of that.
Mom moves to join me on the couch, still in her beach cover-up and smelling of sunscreen.
Connor adjusts himself between us so he can rest his head in her lap instead.
Traitor. She chuckles and immediately begins stroking his ears.
The little guy wasted no time wrapping the pair of us around his small paw.
“Is it that bad?” she asks, and I take another swig of beer, finishing it and setting the bottle down on the table with a definitive thunk. I drop my feet to the ground and lean forward, arms resting propped on my knees.
I rub my face in my hands. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“I thought things were going well with Steph.”
“They are—were—I don’t know.” I puff up my cheeks and blow out a frustrated breath. “I think we’re okay, but we have a lot still to work out.”
“Does this have anything to do with Aidan?” I knew she would notice his odd behavior.
I was only there for a short while, watching from the edge of the woods before Steph noticed me and came over.
It was long enough to observe his overt attentiveness towards my son, though, and the way he looked at Steph like he’d never seen her before—couldn’t imagine her capable of such a deep-rooted deceit.
I can. She may come across as sweet and mild-mannered, but there’s a mama bear inside that woman who believed she was doing what was right for her child. We can debate the validity of that decision forever, but I can’t fault her motivation.
“Sort of,” I hedge.
She waits for me to elaborate, but I don’t.
“I’m sorry if I made things worse this morning when I assumed you were coming to the beach—”
“You didn’t.”
“Clearly I did,” she bites back, voice rising.
Once more, she waits, watching me intently.
When it becomes clear I’m not going to say more—not because I don’t want to, haven’t resolved to, but because I just don’t know how to tell her this thing I feel certain will break her heart—she huffs out a frustrated breath, leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest. Connor glances at her curiously, no doubt wondering why the petting stopped, but she’s too worked up now to notice.
“You listen to me, Riley James Walker,” she starts, leaning forward.
“You came back to town intent on repairing old relationships and putting your life back together. You’ve been back almost a year now, and you’ve got a job you like with colleagues who have become friends.
” She begins ticking things off on her fingers.
“You’ve reconciled with and won back the girl that got away …
hell, you’ve even made inroads with your stubborn brother.
Piper likes you, you’ve got an adorably grouchy doggy sidekick—” at this point she remembers about Connor and, casting him an apologetic glance, resumes petting his head.
“You’ve seemingly accomplished everything you set out to do, yet you’ve had a shadow behind your eyes nearly the entire time.
So what gives? Is it not enough? Not what you thought it would be? ”
“No,” I say firmly, sitting up and finally facing her. “It’s nothing like that.”
“Then what is it? Because you’re not happy—not really. Your brother’s acting strange, and Steph was clearly upset today.”
“And she’ll be even more upset when I tell you,” I murmur.
“What was that?”
I sigh once more, letting my head drop back against the couch and closing my eyes in the process.
This is it.
Rip off the band-aid.
“I said, ‘she’ll be even more upset when I tell you …’” I pause, swallowing thickly before continuing, “That Matt is my son.”
Silence.
Save for my pulse thrumming in my ears.
I crack an eyelid only to see tears welling in her own.
“What?” she breathes.
And I finally tell her everything.