23. Chapter 23
Chapter twenty-three
— SAME SEA BY LIGHTS
My eyes are barely able to peel open as a bright light hits my face. Only when I don't feel Vince next to me do I realize he’s the one opening the curtains and trying to kill my eyes.
The same eyes that feel swollen, puffy, and dry from all the crying I’ve been doing lately. I desperately need eye drops if this is how the morning is going to go.
“Morning, Bree. You better get a move on, or we’re going to be late,” Vince says as he opens my other curtains, and I move my hand to my face, trying to shield them from the burning sensation that comes with staring into the sun.
“Are you trying to blind me?”
“No, I’m trying to get you out of bed. Come on, let’s go. I’ve got your clothes all laid out right here.” He motions to the end of my bed, where he’s picked out one of my workout sets—the light pink one. My favorite one.
“Are we going for a walk like yesterday morning?”
“Something like that, but you’ll love it. I promise. And you might want to get up before I let Nell in, or you’ll never leave that bed ever again. ”
“I don't think I’d mind getting attacked with kisses to the face. I find them quite nice,” I say as Vince goes to open the door. Sweet Nellie is sitting in front of it—apparently just like Vince does—guarding the path for any intruders. Her tail starts to wag as Vince asks her about breakfast, and she takes off down the stairs toward her bowl.
“I’ll leave you to get dressed. Meet me downstairs?”
I nod my head and throw my covers off as he softly shuts the door.
I take a moment to steady myself. These past few days—well, months—have been emotional whiplash. Not to mention that Vince and I admitted what we did the other night, and then we slept together.
Well, we slept in the same bed together. All night. And he woke up in my room the next morning. This morning. And now, we’re going to do something just the two of us, because we’re the only two people up here in this house.
I think I just walked into some sort of forced proximity romance novel, and I find myself not wanting to get out of it.
Just be normal, Bree.
But I can’t. I’m afraid Vince said all that and isn't going to act on it because he’s my bodyguard. I’m literally employing him, and rule number three is no personal attachments, but he also said he had broken all his rules for me. Or did his sister say that? Either way, whatever is happening between us feels like it’s up to me to figure out.
Which is easier said than done.
Wanting to banish all of those thoughts and have a calm day, I shove them to the back of my mind before I throw my outfit on, brush my hair and teeth, and shove the boots Vince set out for me on my feet.
Where did these come from? I like to think I’m an organized person, and I would remember buying these. I think I have everything I need for this surprise adventure, and when I walk down the stairs, the sight before me stops me in my tracks .
Vince is sitting at the table doing a crossword puzzle while Nellie eats breakfast like a maniac.
“Does any of the food actually make it into her mouth?”
Vince laughs, obviously very familiar with this behavior. “Sometimes. Usually in about two minutes.”
I stifle a laugh of my own as Nellie vacuums up her food—partially inside the bowl, mostly outside of it.
“So, did you make me rush to get up just so I could watch you do your crossword puzzle? I thought you had something exciting planned,” I tease as I swipe the pencil from him.
His gaze meets mine, a challenge in his stare before he steals the pencil back and lifts off his chair. “Ready?”
“Ready,” I answer, unsure of where this day is going but excited to see where we end up together. The only thing I’m certain of is that I trust him more than anyone else.
So, it turns out, Vince took me and Nellie on a trip to climb a mountain this morning. As we hike up the trail, Nellie leading the charge, I try to clear my head of all the things I’ve been thinking about, but it doesn't really work.
I hate that I feel trapped all the time, and this trip out here has helped me see that I need some new degree of separation between my personal and work life. I can’t keep living like I am. I can’t keep pretending like everything in my life is fine and dandy to the media when, in reality, I’m falling apart at the seams.
I’ve always seen myself as a genuine person, especially online, and I hate how I’m basically lying to the people who watch my videos. They’ve all been prerecorded since I haven't been wanting to film lately, and I hate feeling like I’m lying to the people who got me where I am.
But according to Connie, I have to do this. I have to pretend that everything is fine, that I'm in love with Alex, because it’s what’s best for my career.
My career , not me. But I get where she’s coming from. Her job is to look out for me in the media and help lessen my load, but sometimes, I wish I had someone who cared about me , not just Bree Hart, the social media influencer.
“Care to join me, or are you going to spend all day in that pretty head of yours?” Vince asks as he jostles his shoulder into me.
“Sorry,” I say as I take in the surrounding trees and rocks. “How tall is this thing again?”
“Eleven hundred meters,” Vince tells me as I stare at him. “Around thirty-six hundred feet tall.”
“Oh. That’s tall,” is all I can say.
“This? This is nothing compared to some I’ve climbed before.”
“How did you get into all this—climbing mountains for fun?” I wonder when it happened, because I never heard him mention it all those years ago. Then again, we didn't talk that much back then—besides toward the end, when we started to become more friendly. But it was more of a professional relationship. Somewhere during these past few months, that shifted, and the two of us are in this weird limbo between something we could be and what we used to be.
He told me the other night that he would always be here for me when the nightmares came, and I don't know how he meant that. I’m too afraid to ask.
Because everyone leaves me eventually, and it wouldn't surprise me if he left at the end of all this, too. I’d never ask him to stay, because I know how difficult it is to be around me, and I figure it would be even worse if he dated me .
It’s bad enough that I have to see all the social media posts about how hot he is, and most of my comments talk about him, too. It’s…weird. Some people really don’t care about their digital footprint anymore.
“I’m not really sure exactly when it started, but it’s one of my favorite things to do. The house we’re staying in was owned by my parents, and they used to take Aria and I up here all the time when we were kids. Anytime I’m in between cases or have some time off, I try to climb another one.”
“Seems like a very active hobby. I think my legs would fall off if I tried to do this more than once,” I say as I wipe my hair out of my face. I regret not throwing it up before we left, but I wasn't sure what we were doing. My long blonde locks are falling in every direction in front of my face, and I regret not throwing a scrunchie on my wrist.
Vince laughs when I say that. “Says the girl who runs on the treadmill until she can’t breathe. I swear, you run more than any other person I’ve ever met.”
I knock his arm with my hand. The two of us have slowly crept closer to one another, and I don't think either of us has noticed. “Well, I can’t exactly argue with that.”
“Exactly.”
“Have you climbed this one before?” I ask, wondering if the reason he doesn't have a map is because he knows the way.
“This will be my fourth time, actually.”
My eyes practically bulge out of my head. “You’re insane, Vince, but I get why you like it so much.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. There’s something so special about being in nature and hearing all these sounds that remind you you're alive in the first place. The birds are chirping, the wind is blowing across my face, and hearing the dirt under my boots kind of puts everything into perspective.”
“Wait until we get to the top. ”
“Is the view worth it?”
“Absolutely. That’s my favorite part of all this. When you get to the top and you see the world from the peak, it all seems so…pointless. Going through all that effort to climb and then getting to the top and seeing everything from a different perspective helps me to remember what’s important in my own life.”
I can only nod my head in understanding. “I can’t wait to see it.”
“Only about two thousand more feet to go, but there's a small opening up ahead where we can rest. I have snacks and water for us and Nell.”
“Sounds good to me.”
We walk in silence until the opening comes into view a few minutes later, and I pause on the rock to take it all in. I see another mountain in the distance that looks a little smaller than the one we’re climbing, and Vince was right—everything does look so much smaller from up here, and we aren't even at the top yet.
Vince hands me a granola bar and a water bottle, our hands brushing, and I feel goosebumps start to spread across my skin.
Did he feel it, too?
He looks down at where his hand is outstretched, then up at me, before he shakes out of the haze and grabs some water for Nellie.
God, all these minor touches between us are going to drive me insane. It’s definitely not one-sided, based on the way he keeps looking at me.
About halfway through my granola bar, I see Vince’s hand in front of me, and when I look up, he’s holding a hair tie out.
“For your hair. I can tell it’s been bothering you.”
I stare in disbelief at his hand before I take it from him. “Where did you get this?”
“I keep one on my wrist, just in case.”
If I was standing, I might’ve collapsed. This rock is barely holding up my weight after hearing him say that. I don't want to jump to the conclusion that he keeps it on his wrist for me, but it sure looks that way. How have I not noticed that before?
“Thank you,” is all I manage to say before I stand. “Ready to keep going?”
“Let’s hit it,” he says as he collects Nellie’s travel bowl and puts it into his bag. “Come on, Nell. Let’s go, girl.”
And I know for certain that I’m fucked as he continues on the path up the mountain because I can’t stop staring at his ass and thinking about how nice it is to be in his company all the time. Especially like this—us together on a hike. It’s something he loves doing, and the fact that he’s sharing it with me makes me think he doesn't mind my company too much, either.
Three hours and some conversation later, we’ve finally reached the peak. The two of us are the only ones up here, and it feels otherworldly when we break through the trees that block the top of the path. All I can see is blue sky and white clouds as we hike. My legs feel like jelly, and I can barely feel them as I lay down on the first flat patch of rock I can find.
“Oh my God, my legs don’t exist anymore. I can barely feel them.”
“Come on, angel. You don't wanna miss the view. It’s better from the other side.” He reaches down and grabs my hand, pulling me up. The feel of his hand in mine as we walk to the other side of the peak has me thinking way too many things.
But the entire time we were climbing, I didn't try to escape my mind. Vince and I kept up a pretty good conversation, and even in the quiet moments when we weren't speaking, my head remained silent.
For the first time in months, I didn't feel like escaping the moment. I wanted to be there listening to the sound of Vince breathing as we walked, hearing my own as I trudged up the mountain, feeling more alive than I have in years.
Vince was right. Hiking really does have some sort of healing powers, because I’ve never been so out of my head than I was when we were climbing.
“Close your eyes,” Vince says as he stops abruptly. Nellie continues in front of us and sniffs the rocks a bit before she lays down, soaking up the sun.
“Are you going to throw me off the top? Was this all a ploy to murder me? I have to admit, this is pretty smart of you. We’re all alone up here and—” I stop when I see him glaring at me, his eyes narrowed on my face.
“You of all people are the lowest on my murder list, Bree. You should know that.”
“Aww,” I say, a smile gracing my face. “Okay, since I trust you, I’ll close my eyes.”
“Thank you,” is all he says before he tightens his grip on my hand and starts us forward. A few seconds later, after he turns my body slightly left, I feel his hand on the small of my back. “Okay, you can open them now.”
The view in front of me is the most magnificent thing I’ve ever seen. It feels like I can reach up and touch the clouds, and the air feels cleaner up here for some reason. The sky's the most beautiful shade of pale blue, and miles and miles of trees cover the ground below. We’re practically surrounded by mountains in every direction, and as I take it all in, everything seems so small.
God, it’s heavenly. I turn to Vince behind me. “Thank you for bringing me up here.”
“It’s nice to get a new perspective sometimes, and I think after all you’ve been through, you needed a moment to clear your head.”
And I don't know what possesses me in this moment, but before I can stop myself, I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his .
It’s a slow and tender kiss before Vince takes control and starts to kiss me back. God, I knew he would be good at this. He wraps his arm around my back and anchors me to this moment, and I feel heat spreading through my entire body, from my toes to my head.
He feels it, too. He wants this as much as I do, and—
And then he pulls back, the two of us panting more from the kiss than we did the entire time we were walking.
“We shouldn't be doing this, Bree.”
“Why not, Vince? I can see how you look at me because it’s the same way I look at you. Didn't you feel what I did during that kiss?”
“We can’t, Bree. I’m your bodyguard, for fuck’s sake, and whatever’s been going on between us can’t happen!” He runs a hand down his face, torment visible in his features. “No matter how much I want to kiss you again.”
Well, at least there’s that. “I’m not some sort of forbidden fruit, Vince. I’m a grown ass adult fully capable of making her own choices.”
He runs a hand through his hair as his chest continues to heave. “You’re my client, for starters, and you’re just a—”
I cut him off. “Don't do that.”
“What?”
I slowly start to move toward him as I speak again. “Don’t call me too young, too naive. Don’t tell me I’m just a kid latching onto you because of our proximity, because it’s so much more than that, Vince. I feel like I’m myself when I’m with you, and you treat me like I’m a human, not just some sort of thing everyone else seems to know.”
“Bree, I wasn't going to do that. You’re just going through way too much shit lately, and I don't want to add to it. My job is to protect you, and I don't want whatever feelings I’m having to muddle that. Because if something happens to you and I could have avoided it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.”
I take a deep breath. “I understand that, but I’m strong, Vince. I’ve lived through more things in the past few years than most people will experience in their lifetime. I chose to kiss you, and I’m choosing to tell you that I like spending time with you because you make me feel alive , and I like who I am when I’m with you.”
He takes a small step toward me, and my breath hitches as he reaches up to my hair and pulls my ponytail out. My hair spreads down my sweaty back as the two of us continue to stare at one another.
“You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, Bree, and throughout the past few months, you’ve been unraveling me,” he says as he takes part of my hair in his hand and starts to wrap it around his fist. “Do you understand how difficult that is? I’ve trained to always be alert and focused, but when I’m around you, my control slips.”
He tugs on my hair, not too hard to hurt but enough to lift my head back so I’m face to face with him again. “Oh yeah? Is that so?”
“Mhm. And you were wrong earlier. You are a forbidden fruit. You’ve been dangling in front of me this entire time, and I can’t have you.”
“Why can’t you have me, Vince? Who says you can’t?”
“My rules, baby.” He lifts his other hand to graze against my lips, and my body shudders. The tension between us could snap at any moment, and it’s only been a few minutes since I kissed him, but I already want more.
I try to make my voice strong, but it comes out in a whisper instead. “Fuck your rules, Vince. You’ve already broken most of them for me anyway, right?”
“I have, angel.”
“And you named your company after me.”
“It seems I did, huh?” He smirks at me, that one hair falling in front of his face as he inches toward mine.
“Why? ”
“I don't have an answer for you. It seems you’ve been under my skin long before I came back to you.” He lightly brushes my lips with his, and I need more, but he doesn't give it.
“Vince…”
He moves to my neck, and I feel him lightly bite my pulse point before he moves back to my cheeks, forehead, nose. “Fuck it,” he whispers as he gives me what I want, smashing his lips to mine.
Compared to the last kiss, this one isn't gentle. It’s possessing every cell in my body as he slips his tongue into my mouth, and I let him have control.
I’ve never felt like this before—wholly and truly possessed by another person. This kiss is better than any of the sex I’ve had. Part of that might be because I chose to kiss him the first time, and this time, he chose to initiate it.
We’ve both chosen each other, and that’s all I could ever want.
His teeth nip at my bottom lip as he pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. “Fuck, Bree.”
“What?”
“Now that I know what you taste like, I’m ruined.”
“Oh yeah?” He nods against my head, and I can’t help a laugh from slipping out. “Well, there goes rule number two.”
“What do you say I throw out all the rules and keep kissing you whenever I feel like it?”
“I’d say you should've done that a while ago, but I’ll take it.”
“Be careful what you wish for, angel. A man obsessed may look appealing in those books you read, but it’s my mission to blow those fuckers out of the water. Do you think you can handle it?” he says as he cradles the back of my neck and brings my mouth close to his again.
“I can handle anything you throw at me, Vince. Bring it on.”
And then his lips lock with mine again, and we spend the rest of our time on top of the mountain losing one another in stolen kisses and touches.