Chapter 12
TWELVE
SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS
We all practically fall through the hotel door at half past three, exhaustion seeping into our bones from the double rehearsal we had today. We couldn’t even stay to get a glimpse of Josie for their practice run because we were all so ready to get out of the empty, stale arena.
“I’m absolutely knackered.” Lennon yawns, falling onto the sofa. He places his arm over his eyes, likely sensitive to the big light. I move to the lamp and tap it, before heading over to turn off the light switch. He squints over his forearm, then meets my eyes. “Thanks, Kai.”
“No problem.” I perch on the armrest as Jamie and Cyrus cuddle up on the end of the couch. Remi stalks around the kitchen, looking for anything citrusy to get his juice fix.
“God, I want a fucking mimosa,” he grinds out as he looks inside the fridge, only to come up empty-handed.
“It’s almost four o’clock,” Cyrus jokes.
“Like that stops you from drinking champagne all hours of the day,” he grumbles. “We know it’s not so you can get buzzed.”
That zaps the fun from the room so fast, letting somberness seep through the cracks.
We haven’t talked about Josie much since she told Cyrus that she needed space.
It’s just one big sore spot between us that’s been left untouched.
Anytime we even bring her up, it’s done with vague comments like the one Remi just spat out.
It’s been a month since that disappointing night. The tour has been roaring on, but we’re all just going through the motions.
Cyrus came back that night and told us what Josie had requested. I knew he was trying to put on a brave face, but it was the most broken I had ever seen him.
I know we had to respect her decision. He looked us all in the eyes, telling us sternly that it has to be Josie’s choice to pursue us back.
“I think it’ll happen, we just have to be patient,” he told us then.
But it’s been weeks. Every night, we sing right before them, pass them on the way back to our dressing room.
Most nights, Jamie and I sneak back out to the wing to listen to their set.
Despite how painful it is when we ultimately have to walk away, I can’t seem to stop.
Josie is a superstar. Watching her thrash on her guitar while the crowd screams is something to behold.
It eases my alpha of all his hurt even just for a brief moment, and that makes it all worthwhile.
“Don’t take it out on me, Alpha,” Cyrus says pointedly, almost baring his teeth. “I’ll call room service and get you what you need, but don’t take your anguish out on me.”
He huffs out a frustrated breath. “Sorry, Cy.”
They move on like nothing happened as Cyrus moves to call room service.
I steal a glance at Remi. His guilt is palpable as he bows his head.
His eyes are sunken, and it’s more than just the pressure of rehearsal.
He is obviously feeling his grief deeply today, the notion that he has lost his omega still an open scar trying to heal, bloody, bruised, and gaping.
I don’t blame him one bit, to be honest. I’m sure his alpha is howling at him as much as mine is. More even, because I have Jamie to fall into. Remi and Lennon don’t have that secure bond to escape into, so I’m sure they’re feeling the weight of it just as much.
I look over at Jamie, who is furrowing into Cyrus’s side with a solemn frown. My heart aches as I watch him, knowing he is hiding the extent of his sadness behind a wall in our bond.
Apparently the night Jamie and Josie had together was magical.
He couldn’t stop smiling for days afterwards, and although he wouldn’t divulge what happened, he said it was the start of something beautiful.
To have that ripped away from him so quickly after it happened breaks my heart for him.
The rest of us are feeling this loss even without the proper time to cultivate our relationships with Josie, but Jamie had the seedling of one.
They had connected, and then it was over just as quickly as it started.
I walk over to the couch and sit on Jamie’s other side. My alpha whines in my chest, wanting to comfort him.
I hate seeing him so defeated, knowing he wants something he can’t have.
I used to feel that way about him, too. I wasn’t sure how things would go after we all designated, especially because Cyrus also loved Jamie.
When the universe blessed us with being scent matches, everything just worked out, the three of us able to correlate our emotions in a much easier way.
But that’s not how this situation is progressing, and I can see how devastated my beta is over it.
“I think I’m going to head to bed,” Lennon says, pulling himself off the couch with dramatic flair.
“Me too,” Remi mutters, his hand clutching a water bottle as he heads to his own bedroom. All three of us watch them head into their rooms, and a tense somberness falls over us in their absence.
My hand goes to Jamie’s thigh, squeezing and kneading in a way that causes my mate to hum happily.
“You’re blocking us out,” I say to him, my voice low.
“We don’t like when you don’t let us in,” Cyrus adds on his other side. “We’re here for everything. The good, the bad.”
“It’s just hard to think about,” Jamie says, hanging his head. “It’s easier to just pretend.”
“I think it’s time we took you out of your head then, Beta,” Cyrus murmurs, his voice deep and sultry, dominating. “How about we get out the rope?”
I feel a spike of arousal through the bond with Jamie as his body jerks up, his spine steel straight. His eyes gloss over as he looks at our prime, the suggestion already taking effect. “Please, Alpha.”
“Meet me in your room,” he tells us before getting up and heading to his own. I pick up Jamie, who lets out a surprised squeal as I lug him over my shoulder. He laughs as I stroll toward our room.
Since Jamie and I are out to the public, we’re often given the same room to cut back costs. I don’t have any complaints about it, because I love falling asleep with my beta, feeling him safe in my arms. It also means—more times than not—we have the biggest bed in the suite.
I toss him onto it and joy spills free from his lips as he lands.
I climb on top, my mouth going right to his before he can say anything.
He melts into me, his hands going to my clothes as he forces me to strip them off.
I do the same with him, and then we’re making out, our hands running over every sliver of skin we can.
Jamie takes advantage of it, wanting to use his hands as much as he can until we force them behind his back and take his autonomy away.
Jamie loves being restrained. It doesn’t matter the outlet; it could be anything.
Handcuffs, bondage tape, leashes, spreader bars, but his favorite will always be rope.
One time we played around with zip-ties in a fake kidnapping scenario.
It was extremely hot, but the zip-ties irritated Jamie’s skin so Cyrus put a stop to us ever doing it again.
Although, every once in a while, Jamie will bring up the idea of doing it again, because he also has a bit of a marking kink.
Now that one I can satisfy to no end.
I’m sucking the skin on his chest when I hear the door open and a new wave of Cyrus’s chocolate scent floods in. He is already ramped up, his pupils dilated, his alpha staring right at me as he undoes the rope in his hand at the side of the bed.
“Kneel,” he barks at Jamie, who moves, happy to comply as he gets up and kneels on the floor in front of the bed, his hands moving to his back as he prepares for the rope. Cyrus moves behind him, focusing on the restraints while I take pleasure in their patience.
I stand up, positioning myself in front of Jamie. He eyes the bulge in my boxers and his scent floods out around us.
“Fuck, J,” I tell him, my thumb softly touching his chin. “Do you want my cock, baby?”
He nods, his eyes glossing over as he waits for me.
I strip myself of the last item of clothing and nearly lose it at the way my beta looks at me.
He is patient, but he licks his lips, his desperation apparent through his orchid scent.
I step forward just as Cyrus starts to move the ropes around Jamie, taking his time.
“I love when you’re at our mercy,” Cyrus whispers, his fingers working deliberately, making sure everything is the right length and in the right place so our mate can be safely restrained.
I can barely take in the scene of Cyrus moving the ropes, because the second Jamie is enveloping my cock, everything goes dark. I throw my head back, my eyes fluttering shut from the glorious, wet warmth of his mouth. When his tongue flicks over my piercing below the head, I hiss in a breath.
Fuck. I never get tired of him doing that.
I know Jamie can smell how heightened my campfire scent is getting by the fervour he is putting into his movements. His lips touch my knot every time he moves downward, making me absolutely feral. My fingers move into his hair, controlling the movements so this isn’t over before it begins.
Although that is futile once I start thrusting into his mouth and setting my own pace, completely losing myself in the process.
“Stay still for me,” Cyrus murmurs, and Jamie tenses, letting me use his body while our prime does everything properly. It’s so much at once, and I can see how much it’s helping Jamie. His eyes flick up to mine, eyelids fluttering shut as he lets me use him just the way he needs.
“I’m going to come,” I grit out. “Fuck, I’m going to come right down your dirty throat, J.”
Jamie moans, loving the sound of that, and the vibration from it sends the energy right down my spine and through my cock. I come with a rough groan, thrusting into his mouth with a little more vigour as I spill inside him, the moment sending me into a state of pure blackout glory.