16. The Road Trip
SIXTEEN
The Road Trip
CALEB
“In the library?”
Caleb sighed and looked away from the camera. “We got stuck in a thunderstorm and the power went out.”
“And you were getting along well enough that you just thought you’d have sex in the library?” Eli grabbed his hair in distress.
“She confessed she didn’t want to kill me anymore. That’s a big step for us. And thanks for the heads-up about the search terms. That helped.”
“That wasn’t for the library .”
“The thing with the chair was hot,” Caleb said, smirking with a confidence he didn’t feel.
Luke chuckled and bumped a fist at the laptop camera. “Don’t mind Eli. He’s just trying to work out when he can get Courtney to add something like that to the schedule.”
Eli shoved him away from the desk. “Caleb. This is how you lose your scholarship. This has to stop.”
Caleb threw up his hands. “Oh, it’s stopped. Once again, we ended the romantic evening stomping off in different directions, both of us convinced we’re right. I was limping, but you get the picture. Then to top it off, today we had our writing group, and she tried to apologize…”
Eli nodded and pushed Luke back in front of the camera so he could step away to calm himself.
“…and I was a total dick,” Caleb said. “Because in my pathetic little man-brain, it seemed like making her mad could help prove that I’m the guy who should make her happy forever. Smart, huh?”
“Only smart if you know how to play it. If you want to prove to the girl that she’s wrong and you’re right, you should be in full pads and a helmet,” Luke said. “What did you do?”
“I acted the total opposite of who I am.”
“Sounds pleasant, actually.”
“Shut up. I was sarcastic, and I talked with my mouth full and winked at the other girls. I baited her, and I don’t even know what I was trying to do besides make her as frustrated as she makes me. Then she left with the other guy who likes her, some stupid, preppy rower, and I gave up the act and just stared like the idiot I am. He gloated at me. Nobody gloats at me. And I sat there and let him win.”
Luke lifted a hand to stop him. “If you didn’t actually see the guy get her clothes off, or at least make out with her, I think he didn’t win. Yet.”
“No one is taking clothes off in the library,” came Eli’s muffled protest.
Caleb folded his arms on his desk and fell forward, covering his face. “I wanted her to hurt the way I hurt. To feel talked over and misunderstood and tricked into saying the wrong thing. She came in with good intentions to apologize, and instead of listening to her the way I wanted her to listen to me, I made it a thousand times worse. I will die alone with my stupidity.”
He heard Eli pretending to retch in the background.
“I know she was your first, and it was all exciting,” Luke said. “But don’t project unrealistic expectations of forever on a girl before you have a real date. I’ve been doing that since before I had to shave, and it has never ended well. Take your time before ruling her out and condemning yourself to lifelong bachelorhood.”
“If I’m old enough to put my body on the line for a stack of cash and a never-ending supply of protein bars, I’m old enough to fall in love. And blow it, apparently.”
“Yeah, but good protein bars can sweeten an unpleasant situation. I love endorsements.” Luke sighed and pressed a hand to his heart. “Forget you fools and your catastrophic love lives. Strawberry protein bars can be my girlfriend. I love them so much.”
“My deal is chump change compared to what you and Eli got for wearing those workout shorts, but I guess the identical twin thing sells.”
“We got a bunch of freebies, but we had to split the check.”
“And I had to skip core exercises for two weeks to look like you,” Eli called from the other side of the room.
Luke flicked a pencil at him.
“Well, the protein bars sure came in handy today. Don’t worry, I had the labels facing out,” Caleb said dourly.
“Did you give her one?” Luke asked.
“She took one right out of my bag and then walked off with the guy. No, she took one and then took my electrolyte water while she was in there. It was open and half gone. ”
Luke nearly choked from laughing. “Buddy,” he wheezed, “that’s it. She wants you. She’s as thirsty as you are.”
Eli appeared back on the screen. “Pick a side of this mess and stay there. Either get out, or act like an adult and get balls-to-the-wall wooing her instead of playing stupid games.”
“That’s not a balls-to-the-wall activity, moron,” Caleb said.
“Balls to something,” Luke said, pretending to cough.
“Whatever.” Eli jabbed Luke in the ribs. “Caleb, if you’re going to do this thing, then put up or shut up, or the next time you call it’ll be about how sad you are that you waited too long and she ran off with that other guy.”
“He has a point,” Luke said. “Now or never, buddy.”
Caleb was silent.
Luke and Eli shared a conspiratorial glance. “What’s so special about her?” Eli asked. “What are you going to all this trouble for, anyway?”
Caleb yanked at his hair until his scalp hurt. He hadn’t replaced the rubber band after his shower, and twisted a handful of slightly wet locks until a drop of water emerged from his fist. “She said my hair was my chaos,” he said. “The night I met her. Before she knew my name or anything to connect me to Missy or you guys.”
He dragged his fingers through the damp waves, then inspected his hands like they might clarify everything that had gone wrong since he was fifteen. “She said I was all buttoned up and pretty in every way except my hair. She thought my hair was my chaos, and wearing it pulled back, I was hiding a part of myself I was scared of, like it was a secret. And… she couldn’t wait to touch my hair and see what it meant, and see how I felt about that. ”
Eli scrubbed his hands across his face and stared over the laptop, out the window, and back in time three years to the night their family split in two. Caleb’s refusal to cut his hair since that day began as the only protest a traumatized high-school sophomore could muster without affecting his college scholarship chances and the hope of escape. When his father challenged his rebellion, Caleb glared from under shaggy locks still too short to pull back, and wordlessly offered Abraham Fields a razor, with the implied promise that if his head was shaved, the private war between father and sons would not be private anymore.
His hair was a constant reminder of his ability to hold fast to what he believed, no matter if the strongest force on earth—his once-idolized father—tried to change his mind. The twist of auburn waves on the back of his head was the strength born of his unresolved rage and fear, and no one but his brothers understood what it meant to him until a girl at a party ran her fingers through it and somehow knew him inside and out, past and present.
“One of the stupid things I did in that little act in the library was taking my hair out of the ponytail and doing this headband.” Caleb stretched the band he’d looped over his wrist and let it snap back. “I never leave it down anymore, and messing with my hair has been her thing since we met. When I took it down, she stopped with the attitude and she was done. She left.”
Luke and Eli stared at each other and said nothing.
Eli cleared his throat. “What…uh… what was that like?”
“I told you, she left with that guy. It wasn’t good.”
“I meant you said she talked that first night about your hair having secrets and wanting to see what it meant and how you felt… did it feel like anything more than someone just messing with your hair?”
“Yes. It did.”
“And?”
His heart warmed even though he couldn’t smile at one of her two favorite questions. “And… and it did.”
“Then you’ve got to walk back this bullshit you pulled and show her you don’t care about her past and she shouldn’t care about yours,” Luke said.
“How do I do that?”
Luke cast a critical eye over what he could see of his brother. “You look like an uptight schmuck,” he said finally. “Unbutton your sleeves and cuff them like you used to when you were cool.”
“I was never cool.”
“You were cool by association. Do it.”
“What is this supposed to accomplish?” Caleb asked, frowning as he folded the sleeves into a perfect cuff below his elbows, the way their mother taught them.
“You spend how many hours a day in the gym?” Luke asked. “Show it off. Make spring come early. Wear shorts.”
“She knows what I look like naked, thanks.”
“Remind her, you idiot. She said you were all buttoned up, so unbutton a little. She’s not going to want to look at you after that little stunt, so you have to make her look. Have you grown any chest hair yet?”
“Shut up.”
“When’s your next class with her?”
“Friday morning, then again Monday morning. Spring break starts Tuesday afternoon.”
“We’re coming down this weekend,” Luke said. He glanced at Eli, who picked up his phone to text Isaac. “Just don’t screw it up before we get there.”
“You spared no expense,” Caleb said with an approving smile as he looked around the suite.
“It’s not like three of us were going to share two queen-size beds,” Eli pointed out. “And if we’re going to the trouble of skipping Friday classes and driving six hours, we definitely would not crash on a floor in your dorm.”
The twins claimed beds and unpacked. Luke tossed Caleb a pair of athletic shorts and demanded payment in protein bars. “I love endorsements so much,” he said. “It is nice to have money that’s not Dad’s.”
Isaac dragged a rolling duffle into the room. “Hey, brothers, enjoy it while you can. You’ll all out-earn me with your snacks and shorts, but watch me crush your pro contracts. Watch.”
“I’m thinking a little more short-term success,” Caleb said. “As in, this weekend. I’m glad to see you guys, and I don’t have a clue what you think you’re going to do here to help.”
Luke looked to Eli, who looked to Isaac, who shrugged. Eli pointed at Luke, who shook his head.
“We don’t know either,” they said in unison.
“You made it sound like we were going to figure this out,” Caleb said, scowling at Eli. “I wanted a plan. A flowchart. One of your famous checklists.”
Eli flicked the side of his head.
“But hey, road trip,” Isaac said, tossing his keys and wallet on the third bed. “We’ve never been to visit you. We can work something out and be your moral support for the rest of your poor choices. Brotherhood is grand.”
“Do you know where to find her? Or even have her number yet?” Eli asked.
“No and no,” Caleb said. “Unless anyone wants to try sweet-talking Missy Van Pelt.”
They grimaced.
Caleb flopped back on Eli’s bed. “How am I supposed to amuse you guys this weekend?” he asked, directing the question at the ceiling. “I don’t think you understood me when I said I don’t go out. I mean it. Crabby little brother does not go out.”
“You went out and met her,” Isaac said. “And look where we are. There’s always a football party in this town. Maybe I’ll see Hamilton and push him down some stairs.”
“That was not really a football party. Just a few football people, and it was awful anyway. Broken ankle. Broken heart. I’m staying in.”
“A broken ankle would be fine,” Isaac said. “Just in time for his Pro Day. I’ll settle for that.”
“Boring,” Eli sang. “You’re taking us out. Find us a football party.”
Caleb sat up. “No. No way. I do not have the intestinal fortitude to go nose-to-nose with Hammy when I am sick inside for the girl who manipulated him. If there’s a party, he’s there, and she won’t be. He already thinks I’m a wuss for riding your reputations,” he said, glancing at each of them. “I don’t need him to think my big brothers have come to take him down a peg. No football party. No.”
“Well, we can’t go to a bar,” Isaac said, always the practical eldest. “At least you three can’t. So we find a party or we get some dinner and watch basketball.”
“Dinner,” Caleb said, just as Luke and Eli announced their preference for a party.
Caleb considered leaving them to their own plans and attempts to navigate the party scene in Columbus. He had only a vague notion of where to take them anyway. But the fear of three of his team’s arch-rivals waltzing into a party with their cocky attitudes and casual trash talk turned his stomach even more than the daily reminder in the weight room that Hayden Hamilton still walked the earth. His older brothers’ deep-seated protectiveness for the baby of the family would override their natural idiocy, but he had to be there to stop them.
Caleb
My brothers are in town and demanding entertainment. Anything I should know?
Jags
Hanging here. Not a big scene, but Nicksy got a keg and Berk’s gonna freeze his ass off making burgers. Doors at 8.
Caleb
Party of 4, please.
Jags
Your girl with you?
Caleb
She’s not my girl.
Jags
LOL sure she’s not. Remind me where our guests are from.
Caleb
UM and UND
Jags
I already hate them.
Caleb
QB1 tonight?
Jags
Not invited. Nicksy’s pretty sure he left for Cabo already, anyway.
Caleb
See you at 8.