17. Girl Gang
SEVENTEEN
Girl Gang
SHANNON
Shannon tucked her hair up and cinched her swim cap as tight as she could bear. Her natural blonde hair turned an unpleasant yellow-green when exposed to chlorine, and she didn’t want to see what an encounter with pool water would do to the part she’d covered with her beloved sapphire blue. It would turn emerald, probably, and just in time for St. Patrick’s Day.
She selected an empty lane with no one on either side. Most of the competitive swimmers were in class mid-day and practiced morning and night. On a Friday afternoon before spring break, Shannon was skipping Transitional Japanese Politics, and as she slipped into the cool water in an old racing suit, she remembered why. Her goosebumps were welcome friends as she pulled down her goggles, centered herself, and pushed off the wall.
The heady fire of chlorine scorched her teeth and tympanic membranes as well as her nostrils while she sliced through the water like a blade in the backstroke. It was always her favorite, her arms in a gentle windmill and her face turned peacefully to the ceiling a mile above, even in the most frantic race. Tight muscles and flaccid limbs got the better of her and she felt the beginnings of a burn after only two laps.
She’d probably be ten seconds behind her personal best if she timed herself two years removed from competition, but she only counted strokes and lengths, lap after lap as she tried to lose herself in the familiar chemical haze that could once make her higher than any drug.
Had she ever loved her sport so much that she considered training for the biggest races? Had her body ever screamed at her with a raw intensity, battered and hungry for more?
Even at the peak of her athleticism, the answer was no.
She practiced regularly and diligently at the clarinet for years, rubbing calluses on her fingers and numbing her knuckles, uncertain what she was striving for. All-State Band performances? Recognition as a soloist? She was the best in her space for a while, and it was enough. She never dreamed of more.
Besides her dubious claim to fame as a vegetarian who made exceptions for Skyline Chili, had she shared anything with Caleb that wasn’t past tense? She wasn’t a swimmer or a musician anymore. She didn’t work at the furniture store. She learned to snowboard young, and hadn’t done it since she was fourteen. What did he want from a girl who collected vintage Jadeite and doodled in margins? What was so special about that?
“Shannon Van Pelt!”
She jolted from her reverie and splashed to a stop. “Nina? What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?” The girl shook her dark brown hair out from under her swim cap. “This is my pool, and I haven’t seen you in months.”
Shannon clapped a hand to her forehead. It was easy to lose track of high school alumni among the fifty thousand undergraduate students, but Nina Marquez had always been more than a swim team friend. She was a real friend for many years, but when Shannon hung up her swim cap before college, their time was split. Their friendship faded, and that was Shannon’s fault alone.
“Don’t send the lifeguards after me.” Shannon laughed as she approached the edge at the end of her lane. “I’m a rec swimmer now.”
“Unacceptable.” Nina poked a toe in the water, then sat down. “Seriously, where have you been? You showed up for one or two free swims back in September and then dropped off the earth when you started seeing that football player.”
Shannon’s face fell. “I’m sorry. That guy was a mistake beyond belief.”
“I was worried about you when Paige said you guys broke up. We both texted you and didn’t hear back.”
Shannon shook the water from her ears, dazed. She only vaguely recalled messages from Nina and their mutual friend Paige whose ‘best-friends-with-occasional-benefits’ relationship with left guard Evan Nicks had become a rom-com that looked fifty-fifty for a happy ending.
“I wasn’t in a very good place,” Shannon said in a weak attempt to explain. “I sort of closed off for a while. I’m so sorry.”
Nina kicked water in Shannon’s face. “I didn’t wander over here to berate you,” she said gently. “Relationships happen, breakups happen. I talked to Elouise a couple of times and she assured me she was keeping an eye on you. I actually had you on my schedule to pester when we go home on spring break.”
“I’m so sorry, though. I became that shitty friend who quits for a boy.”
“Yeah, but what a boy,” Nina said. “Our little Shanna Banana had the big man on campus wrapped around her finger for a while.”
Shannon grimaced. “The big man was a big mistake, and not worth leaving my friends for.”
Nina flicked water at her. “Honey. It’s a girl-gang rite of passage. Everyone has to dump their girls for a boy once, and the girls welcome her home when it’s over. Once. Remember Nathan Winkeler?”
“Oh God, you had terrible taste in boys in high school.”
“And I didn’t see you for about six months,” Nina reminded her. “You were there when I came to my senses. Maybe you came to the pool looking for me today and you didn’t even realize it.”
Shannon smiled. “There’s something beautiful about that idea. I love it.”
“I am sorry it ended badly.” Nina shook her head and frowned. “Paige said Evan told her he was really into you, and then it all just blew up.”
“I knew he was stepping out and never called him on it because I was shallow enough to like the attention when I got it.” It was true, but even to Nina, she couldn’t muster the entire story. Not yet. “I would have thought Evan and the rest of those boys would know what he was really doing. Locker room talk gets brutally honest. ”
“I don’t think Ev liked him much anyway. He just doesn’t say it too loud.”
“That would be a breath of fresh air if it were true,” Shannon said, laughing. “Hayden is the way he is because people have kissed his ass since he was born. Caleb said guys like him never learned that leadership is about more than what you do on the field.”
“Who’s Caleb?”
Shannon nearly covered her mouth with her hand, then waved dismissively. “Another boy poor Elouise has to save me from,” she said, feigning a sigh. “Another football player. I know this one through the required American Lit seminar.”
“Does Paige know him? You guys could hang out.”
“Maybe.” Shannon ducked into the water to hide her blush. “What’s Paige and Evan’s status these days, anyway? On? Off? Married with children?”
“He tried for a promotion to boyfriend rank around Christmas. I think it involved a snowman, hot cocoa, and sledding right back into the friend zone.”
Shannon snorted. “Was he wearing plaid flannel and leading a reindeer by its jingle bells through snowy drifts?”
“I believe it was an antler headband with a little ball of mistletoe in the middle. She didn’t buy it.”
“What is wrong with her? I’d swoon for that. Sign me up to help talk some sense into that girl.”
“Will you be home on spring break? We should go out.”
“We will definitely go out,” Shannon said with a splashing, emphatic nod. “You need to see my hair under this cap. It’s blue, and I love it so much.”
“Yes!” Nina clapped. “You finally did it after how many years, you chicken? ”
“My entire life. It’s my breakup hair, and it makes me happier than Hayden ever did.”
“Is it breakup hair if you wanted it anyway?”
“I don’t think I’d have had the guts to do it otherwise,” Shannon said, realizing the truth of her words only after they left her lips. “I felt used and ignored and I think the thought process was something like ‘well, you can’t ignore blue hair.’”
Nina nodded. “Sounds healthy enough to me. Lots of people get lost in their breakups. I worried that was happening to you until I talked to Elouise. She said yours really lit a fire under you, and maybe you needed that to go after what you really want, starting with blue hair.”
“Wrapped up tight, so it doesn’t turn green.”
Nina grimaced. “Chlorine green is no one’s color. Oh, I can’t wait to see it.”
“Do you still really love swimming?” Shannon splashed her friend’s feet.
“Huh? Of course I do.”
“I mean, do you love it enough to swim on the days you don’t have to, just for fun?”
“Absolutely.”
“Have you ever felt your body screaming at you in a way that feels so raw and intense you don’t want it to stop?”
Nina held up her hands and grinned. “Oh God, yes. Or did you mean swimming?”
Shannon splashed her again. “I meant from working out. Practicing. Racing. Best time ever.” She narrowed her eyes. “Best racing time ever, I should clarify.”
“Maybe not the way I’d word it…” Nina bobbed her head side to side, thinking. “But the rush? The adrenaline? Hell yeah, I still get that. At our last meet, I nearly threw one of my te ammates waiting for the end of the relay. I didn’t even know what I was doing, and she didn’t care.”
“How did it end up?”
“Crushed it.” Nina shrugged. “Like we do.” She leaned forward, eyes shining. “You’re my captive audience now. Come out with us tonight. I know Elouise has been bugging you. I want to see the blue hair. Say yes, since you’ll feel so bad about saying no.”
“Elle is laid up with an awful cold. Maybe you and I could go out next week when we’re both home.”
“Both home and still underage. Where are we going to go? Olive Garden, for tea and breadsticks? You’re coming out with me and Paige tonight. Evan’s house is doing beer and burgers, something casual. They’re not even calling it a party. We can hang out and have a conversation we can hear.”
“Well, if I have no choice…”
“You have no choice.” Nina splashed her. “We’ll tell Paige together not to let a good man go.”
“I’ll bring jingle bells.”