Chapter 37
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
VIKTOR
“We need to talk!” I closed my eyes.
I’d wanted to wait a few more days. A few more days to scrape together the last piece of courage I could find in myself and tell her the truth. About why they kidnapped her. About why she—of all the girls—was their target… And thus why she should never have fallen in love with me.
I’d never thought she would say those words to me. Never let myself imagine it. Not even for the blink of an eye. I was never the one eligible for that emotion in her heart.
Getting closer to her face, I allowed myself one last kiss. On her forehead. Her skin smooth, heated under my touch. And I couldn’t stop myself for a few more seconds, breathing her all in.
When I made myself break away and stand, Sophie grabbed my arm, looking up at me. A plea in her eyes not to let her go.
“Now?”
How I hated the brokenness in her voice, hated the way she was clinging to me. She shouldn’t!
She shouldn’t!
I wanted her to be happy. To keep her head high. To keep looking at me as if I were the dirt under her feet.
That shouldn’t have changed!
And I hated the hope that was forming in my chest… Hope for her to forgive me. To choose me, despite everything I’d done.
“I’ll bring you water.” I pointed to the table.
She released my hand, and I tried not to move too fast. My head was spinning, or perhaps I was hoping to steal another second.
When I handed her the glass, she drank slowly, her eyes never leaving mine.
That ached something in me, something I knew cigarettes might help tame.
More than six years of not smoking, and here I was, twice in half a month. But I wasn’t sure I’d ever have the nerve to start this conversation without one.
I got the cigarettes from my bag—put them there at the last second, as if I’d known they might be needed—then gestured toward the balcony. “I’ll be there. Don’t mind if I have a few minutes? To sort my thoughts.”
She nodded, and I went outside. It wasn’t as dark thanks to the light from the full moon.
The backyard was empty. Staff—in their wing. No one should be in this part of the house.
Looking up at the sky, I lit the cigarette, enjoying the numbness that went through my body as the smoke filled my lungs.
I turned when footsteps came from behind. Sophie stood in the doorway. The moonlight on her robe made her look so fragile. Yet her eyes were intent and ready to… fight?
Now, this was my wife!
Always making me wonder why I kept thinking something could break her when she constantly proved she was more steel than glass.
A smile tugged at my lips, and I let myself enjoy her beauty for another second while exhaling the smoke.
“Do you remember the charity evening, right after your engagement?”
She nodded. Of course she did. That was probably one of the best days of her life. It was the first public announcement of her engagement, after all.
“Do you remember me approaching you?”
She narrowed her eyes.
“I asked you for a dance.”
“You… did?” She leaned against the stone railing beside me.
A crooked smile appeared on my lips. Of course she didn’t remember my request. The one I’d been practicing for several nights, the one I’d been hoping would open my way into her heart.
Though even back then I’d known her heart was taken.
Still, I’d foolishly been hoping to win her over with my charm.
Charm. I’d been so sure I had one.
But when I’d approached her and she’d turned and noticed my outstretched hand—there was only pure disgust on her face.
One that haunted me nearly every night. Very similar to the one on her face the morning she’d heard my proposal a year ago.
And one I believed she would demonstrate once this conversation was over.
“I remember you, but not… specifically?” Judging by her face, she was trying to recall the evening.
There wasn’t much to remember. The next second after I was rejected, Edmond had approached us with a smug look.
“What are you doing near my fiancée?”
Her expression softened as she saw him. And my eyes fell to her finger. I’d been hoping I wasn’t too late. But I was. A nasty ring with a stone the color of vomit was tainting her finger.
Had he specifically chosen the ugliest one from his family heirlooms?
Hadn’t he heard her admiring the new-fashioned ones? Simple, with a single diamond?
I’d been barely holding my anger, so sure I could have done so much better. But she’d always been looking at him.
Each time I’d noticed them dancing at the center, I couldn’t help but take another glass from Sebastian’s hand while he kept nagging in my ear about how it was only her loss.
I inhaled from the cigarette, shutting out the memories.
“So you were admiring me even back then?” She chose each word with care.
I chuckled. “Admiring? I’d say obsessed is a better description.”
“Obsessed.” The word lingered on her tongue. “To be honest, I was sure you had some issues with Edmond and were trying to get on his nerves by flirting with me.”
“My only issue with him was you.”
A smile appeared on her face. Only for a second. Then her gaze turned to concern.
“Did he know that? I mean, S-Sebastian. Did he know you had feelings for me?”
“Yes.”
She froze for a second, looking into my eyes. Her fingers tightened on my arm. “That’s why he called me a surprise? Is that why he was waiting for you?”
I rolled the cigarette between my fingers.
“Do you… know why he kidnapped me? I mean, those two said he was waiting for you. And when you didn’t come and stopped answering the calls, he got mad and…”
“He kidnapped you for me,” I interrupted, putting the cigarette in the ashtray. “He hoped if he could get you for me, that would help him get on my good side.”
“But…” Her grip grew firmer. “You didn’t know, did you? When he called.”
“It wasn’t his first attempt to do something to please me. Each next one was getting even more unhinged. I should have guessed…”
“You couldn’t have guessed!” She frowned. “Is that why you’re blaming yourself?”
“Close.” The only words I managed to say.
“Viik.” Turning her back to the railings, she brushed my cheek. “What matters is you didn’t ask him to do that! How could you possibly have known he’d consider kidnapping as an option?” Tears shone at the edge of her eyes. “Like, what did he think would happen next?” She scoffed. “Filthy animal.”
I should have moved her hand away, created more distance between us. Yet I was so weak. Pathetic.
“When you and Edmond got engaged… I used to… fantasize about kidnapping you. A lot,” I confessed.
And for a moment, the world stopped.
Her hand froze.
“I—used to talk about it. And Sebastian… he was there. Giving me more ideas, how I could—”
“You… were… planning?” A dry cough came out of her throat.
“We were getting high… For me… it was just wild fantasies.”
Fantasies that should never have left my mouth. I don’t think I ever considered them seriously. It was me ranting about her while smoking and getting drunk with jealousy. But did that make any difference?
She swallowed, her gaze getting colder, and her eye twitched.
She took a step back, her hand in mid-air. She held it to her chest the next second.
I looked back at the yard, unable to look at her. “At some point… we had a falling out—over drugs. I stopped using them. And me and Alex, we started hanging out more. I started to come to my senses. S-Sebastian didn’t like it. He started acting weird. And…” What happened, happened.
I wasn’t sure what to say. Sophie didn’t say anything either. Only her heavy breathing could be heard in the silence. When I looked at her, she muttered, “You didn’t tell him to kidnap me.”
I shook my head.
“But you…” Her chin trembled. “You seeded that idea.” She gagged on the word.
“I did,” I rasped.
“Wild fantasies?” She chuckled coldly, stepping back toward the room. A few tears went down her face. “They were, maybe, for you… But… they ruined my life.” Her voice went high on the last words.
“Sophie.” I followed her.
She put her hand in the air, warning me not to come closer.
“Is that why you married me? To make your little fantasies a reality?” She looked up, blinking, wiping her tears with her wrist. “Should’ve known there was something off when you agreed to Papa’s wild demands.
” She laughed again. “He’d bite his nails, knowing he could have sold me for a much higher price. ”
My stomach churned. Hopefully the saliva I gulped would be enough to keep it down.
I knew she’d get angry. Was ready for the hatred. For hurtful words. That still didn’t change the fact it felt awful.
My stomach churned again when her gaze fixated on me.
“Say something!” she demanded. A strange expression—a mixture of hope and pleading—in her eyes.
But what could I say? That I’d rushed there the second rumors of her ex-fiancé’s marriage surfaced? Not discussing details with anyone. Not my advisers or lawyers. Not even Yann. I’d gone straight to her father’s office, ready to pay whatever price he wanted.
I’d known he’d throw me out the moment I mentioned any feelings. I had to act as if business was my only concern. Not that it was a complete lie. Yann was constantly in my ear, saying to marry someone, to make an alliance. Have someone on my side.
But that was never my motive. So when Antonio Moreau agreed, my only request to my lawyers was—fulfill any demand.
So yes, I’d been ready to pay much more, to bargain everything I had. But what else could I have done? Let another man take her?
Looking back, it was clear Antonio would never have married her to anyone without her consent. But how was I supposed to know? I’d lived year after year, unable to get any information about her. How she was. What she was doing.
Some said her engagement was off. Some that it was still valid. All I could manage to learn was that mostly she was locked in her room. All while her so-called lover was fooling around. Rafael’s hatred didn’t help. He’d blocked me every time I tried to get closer.
“Was there any truth?” Her voice came out husky, rough at the edges.
“My only intention was to make sure you were safe.” I closed my eyes. “I wanted to see you happy.”
“Happy?” She derided. “Congratulations. I am.”