66. Lilias
Lilias
TELL YOUR brOTHER WE’RE ALIVE
“Why are we stopping?” Petrys asks.
I hold my breath to keep from saying anything, but Ebony stiffens and snorts as I tug on her reins. She must know how close I am to screaming at both of them.
Petrys and Gerard have been bickering all night.
It’s been hard enough following the rocky stream into the mountains without having to listen to their whispered insults.
Now that the moon has set and I’ve been whipped in the face by a hundred different branches, I’m about ready to slap Gerard for acting like a damned toddler. And then I’ll slap Petrys too.
“Because this is the way to Marion,” Gerard replies in a low voice. “Or, what’s left of Marion, at least.”
He waves his hand toward the darkness off to our left, which looks exactly like the darkness to our right. And the darkness ahead of us.
“We aren’t going to Marion,” Petrys replies. His horse snorts and stomps like he’s agreeing with the man.
“Oh?” Gerard asks.
His grin flashes in the thin light. An owl calls above us, and I shiver. The night has gotten colder.
“Where are we going, then?” Gerard demands.
“Dungal,” Petrys says. His voice is low, almost like he’s confessing something.
Gerard laughs. It’s a loud, sharp sound, and it makes me flinch.
“That’s your plan?” Gerard replies. “Dungal? Zarek’s home kingdom? Gods above, that’s the first place they’ll look!”
“Dungal was destroyed,” Petrys snaps.
“Oh, sure it was,” Gerard replies. “And I’m sure you’ve got some sort of hideout in the ruins that no one in Vsenrog would ever think to check when the godsdamned prince of Dungal goes missing.”
“It is not—” Petrys begins.
“Stop it,” Zarek growls. “Both of you. For fuck’s sake.”
I shiver again. An idea whispers through my mind, low and soft. It’s been spinning through my mind all night, growing louder and louder. An idea about where we need to go.
“We should warn Lisal,” Zarek says in a low, soft voice.
Gerard laughs again. It’s even louder this time.
“Oh, there is no way in all the hells,” Gerard says, shaking his head. “I’ve had my fill of dramatic escapes from palaces controlled by the Vsenrog army.”
“Lisal is part of the Seven Allied Kingdoms,” Petrys replies.
“There are only Five Allied Kingdoms now,” Gerard snips. “And I don’t want to be in Lisal when it goes down to four.”
We all fall silent. That owl calls from the darkness again, soft and haunting. Gerard turns to me.
“Princess,” he says. “Don’t you think we should at least tell your brother you’re alive?”
I sigh and twist the reins in my fist. Ebony snorts; she’s uncomfortable in the dark. Hells, so am I. Petrys sniffs. Zarek turns in his saddle, his face a pale ghost in the dark folds of his cloak.
“Do you want to go to Marion?” he asks me, in a voice so low it’s almost a whisper.
I frown. That thought slips through my mind again. Where we should go. Where we need to go.
But I clench my jaw as Ebony shifts her weight under me. I don’t want to bring it up now. Even saying the words, here, in the darkness, feels like a risk.
“Yes,” I whisper. “That makes the most sense. For now.”
Zarek nods, then turns to Gerard.
“You really think you can get us to the hunting lodge?” Zarek asks.
“Of course,” Gerard replies.
“Fine,” Zarek sighs. “We’ll go to Marion. For now.”
Petrys starts to say something, but Zarek cuts him off with a shake of his head.
“At least until we can be sure we won’t be followed to Dungal,” Zarek finishes.
Petrys grumbles under his breath. Gerard’s smile flashes again in the darkness.
“Now,” Zarek says, “do the two of you think you can go ten godsdamned minutes without bickering like an old married couple?”
Petrys sniffs again. Gerard clears his throat.
But Zarek doesn’t wait for a reply; he turns his mare in the direction of Marion and begins to walk through the darkness.
I nudge Ebony forward, following my husband.
Behind me, I hear Gerard muttering something about not starting it, and I roll my eyes.
I’ve spent the whole night thinking about where we should go next. But it sounds insane, impossible. I don’t even want to hear how Gerard will react. So, I’ll wait until we’re somewhere safe. Settled for the day, maybe. Or perhaps in the hunting lodge, with Elrick and Anura.
Or in a private room. In the dark. With my husband.
I shift in the saddle and try not to think about Zarek pressing me against the wall in the servants’ passageway, his breath hot against my neck, my heart pounding so hard I was certain the guards in the hallway would hear it.
He was still unsteady on his feet, his mind probably cloudy from whatever it was the elf did to make us sleep.
And maybe I should have stopped him when he fell to his knees and picked up my skirts—
Ebony tenses beneath me as my thighs tighten.
“Damn it,” I mutter. “Sorry.”
Zarek turns in his saddle, his dark eyes glinting in the thin gray light.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Fine,” I answer.
“We’ll stop soon,” he whispers.
My cheeks burn. Thank the gods he can’t see that.
I don’t think he slept yesterday, after the sun rose and Petrys said we should all rest. Or, if he did, he didn’t sleep near me. I woke up when Gerard shook my shoulder, half expecting Zarek to be next to me. But he was standing by the horses, tightening the cinch on his horse’s saddle.
And why should that bother me? It’s not like we could have a conversation now, trying to weave our way through a dark forest with Petrys and Gerard arguing in our wake. What would we even talk about?
My jaw clenches so hard that my teeth ache. When was the last time we actually talked?
Was it when he yelled at me for standing up in the stables of Ethiria and letting the guards take me instead of finding everyone?
Was it when he said he’d grant me a divorce?
Or when he got drunk and cried in my arms and begged me not to leave him?
Was it when he said he loves me? Or was it when he said there’s no longer any strategic value to our marriage?
Ebony stumbles again. I curse like it’s my fault, then reach down to pat her neck. Poor horses. They don’t like riding at night, and who can blame them?
“It’s getting lighter,” Gerard says from behind me. “We should stop soon.”
“Obviously,” Petrys snaps.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” Gerard replies.
Zarek spins around, his eyes flashing under the gray sky.
“Shut the fuck up,” he snaps. “Both of you—”
Gerard and Petrys both open their mouths like they’re about to disagree. I stand up in my stirrups; Ebony gives a little shake.
“I’ll find a place for us to sleep,” I announce. “Since it looks like none of you can be bothered.”
And then I tap Ebony’s side, and we spin toward the woods, leaving all of the men behind.