34. Farewells
34
Farewells
HAZE
Heading toward the front door with my phone glued to my ear, I recall the conversation I just ruined and think of the thousand smart things I could’ve said instead of “Maybe we were meant to be a fling.” I’m such a fucking idiot.
Why am I such a fucking idiot?
I panicked and the worst reverse psychology of all time came bursting out of my mouth. I didn’t mean it. Not even for a second, but I was so desperate for her to stay I thought maybe… if I scared her, she’d change her mind.
What’s wrong with me?
The fear of watching her get on that plane is changing me. It can make me do the craziest, stupidest things.
Kendrick told me she ran outside. I have to see her and explain why I left in the middle of the conversation. She needs to know that Trevor was there, looking at me from the corner of the room. We’ve been keeping in touch since my guys kicked me out. He’s the one who told me they were going for Winter last week. He even lended me his car when Ryan ruined mine. He’s the reason Winter is okay right now. I knew he wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t important.
He begged me to come back and lead the West side again. He said things are going to shit now that Ryan’s the main. I told him what I told Winter: that I don’t want this life anymore.
I just want her.
But I can’t leave with her. Not yet. There’s so much she doesn’t know.
“Damn it. Pick up!” I mutter to myself, calling her back for the fourth time in a row. She keeps hanging up on me.
“What?” Her voice comes down the other end, and the air returns to my lungs.
“Winter, thank God, where are you? I’m coming to you.”
She doesn’t reply. Noises erupt on the line. Too many to identify. First, the squealing of tires. Then a door being slammed.
“Winter, what’s going on?”
Her phone just hit something. The ground.
That’s when the adrenaline kicksin.
I don’t think. I bolt down the hall, halfway to the front door, and push every student roaming around the school out of my way. I can hear the struggle down the line. Someone’s fighting her.
“Winter, answer me!” I yell again even though I know the chances of her replying are near inexistent.
A groan of pain every guy knows reaches my ear. She just kicked him in the nuts. That’s my girl.
“You fucking bitch,” the guy—who’s going to get a slow and very painful death later—hisses.
“Hurry up!”
He’s not alone. There’s a girl with him. I leap out onto the parking lot and barely have time to see a van taking off at full speed. She’s in there.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I pick her shattered phone off the ground. I need to follow them but how? I didn’t bring my car. I had a cab drop me off earlier. I knew I’d be drinking.
“Did you bring condoms?” a girl giggles as she and a guy I recognize walk out of the school. They have no idea what atrocity just happened here. They don’t know that the girl I love just got taken… again. I recognize them. There’s Jackson Miller, a dorky, nerdy guy I used to be paired with in science, and Tina Jones, a cheerleader. They’re walking to his car. My guess is he’s about to lose his V card.
Sorry, bro, not happening tonight.
I run to him. “Give me your keys.”
The poor guy’s gaze fills up with fear. He hands me his car keys with a shaking hand. Everybody here really is creeped out by me. I mean… everybody except Winter. I ask him which car it is, and he points to a red Honda. The next second, I’m exiting the parking lot in a loud growl and driving down the road a lot faster than the law allows me to. I used to be such an idiot when it came to speeding, but I stopped when I fell for her.
I guess meeting Winter Kingston was likefinding something to stay alive for.
I can’t believe how lucky I am when I see the back of the van from afar. I have to be smart about this. They can’t know that I’m following them. Winter’s phone starts to ring shortly after.
Kendrick is calling.
I put the call on speaker. “Kendrick, for once in your life, you actually have good timing.” I take an unexpected right turn, trying to keep up with the rattling white van speeding down the street.
“Haze? What’s going on? I can’t find Winter. Are you with her?”
He’s about to lose his shit. There it goes.
“She’s been taken.”
He proceeds to let out the loudest “What?” I’ve ever heard.
“I was on the phone with her when it happened. I heard everything. I’m following them right now. I need backup. I’ll use Winter’s phone to share my location with you.” I speak so fast I’m impressed he understood any of it. He agrees, and I hang up, my eyes fixated on the car.
I try to keep a good distance between us, but the traffic is terrible and I’m afraid I’ll lose them if I don’t drive up their asses. I can’t help but think that the timing was too convenient. Circumstances got me away from her exactly when they needed her alone. What if Trev’s pathetic speech wasn’t a coincidence? What if he was distracting me while his allies got to her? It wouldn’t surprise me.
What if, after he told me about the guys’ plan to get rid of Winter, they wanted to put his loyalty to the test by forcing him to betray me? This is so like Ryan.
They were right. In the street fighting community, love is weakness. It’s the deadliest weapon of all. And taking my girl is probably their way of punishing me for choosing her over the fights. But I would do it again. In a heartbeat.In the blink of an eye.
I would always choose her.
After a while, the van hops onto dirt roads—that I know Tanner used to take for shady transactions back in his drug-selling days—and distances itself from society. These roads are small, deserted. I turn off my headlights so that they don’t notice me following them, but I’m not quick enough. They’re onto me.
They start taking unexpected turns, speeding down the dark streets ahead of us. I eventually lose them and completely panic. I’ve been in this area before. There is only one place where they could be taking her. So I slam on the gas…
And hope that I’m right.
Winter
“Wake up, you trash.”
I can’t get a grip on my senses when my eyes snap open and the pain from the punch that knocked me out pulses in my brain. I try to move, but my hands and feet are tied together. I feel the tape obstructing my mouth, and the fear slams against my rib cage.
I got kidnapped… again.
God damn it, everybody needs to stop kidnapping me!
What is this? This year’s new trend?
The large doors of the van squeak apart. Two shadows are standing idly in front of me, but I can’t discern their faces. Everything is blurry. The abundance of crickets outside hints that they took me to the middle of nowhere.
I have no idea how I’ll get out of this one alive.
“Finally.” I recognize Bianca’s silhouette. “Get her out of the car.” She motions to the guy responsible for my momentary dizziness, and he painfully drags me out by my hair. He’s wearing a mask. Coward.
Bianca… I always knew there was more to this girl. She couldn’t take a hint no matter how many times Haze pushed her away. She’s been obsessed with him for so long, I guess finding out that he might be leaving town for me was her breaking point.
She snapped.
How could we not see it? She literally came up to Haze tonight and offered him one last chance to love her back. To choose her.
And he chose wrong.
I finally recover my sight and get a good look around. We’re on top of a cliff, surrounded by miles and miles of empty fields. I can hear the waves loudly crashing against the rocks from here and imagine how my body colliding with them would feel. There is nothing around except an old barn that’s barely standing. No one to swoop in and save me.
No hope.
“Took you long enough to wake up.” The unknown guy pushes me to the ground, and I frown. That voice. It’s familiar. “How nice of you to join us for your last moments.”
He takes off his mask, and when I see his hateful blue eyes staring back at me, I wish I could say that I’m surprised… but I’d be lying.
Blake.
Of course it’s him.
Traitor one day, traitor always.
I blink back the tears burning my eyelids, wishing, praying that my death will be quick. At least I’ll die knowing I kicked him in the nuts and possibly ruined his chances of reproducing.
“You know, I’m actually kind of surprised that we succeeded. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that we did, but I thought the East side would have learned their lesson by now. This is, what, your second time being kidnapped on their watch?” He laughs.
I glance at Bianca, who’s standing a few steps back with her arms over her chest and a satisfied smile on her lips. She changed back into regular clothes . Imagine wasting the only prom of your life for a guy who doesn’t care.
“It was almost too easy, really. All I had to do was show up to your house, sneak a microphone in, feed the guys some shitty redemption lines, and voilà .” He puts his hands up as if he’s expecting applause.
This is why he was at the house that day. He’s been planning this for a while.
“Guess how we found out about your very convenient departure to Canada? Man, you must really be mind-blowing in bed for Haze Adams to consider swapping the palm trees for snow.” He laughs. I know that the microphone is how Bianca found out about this. We talked about it in the kitchen last night. “Oh, I’m sorry. Where are my manners? We’re missing the best part. Her afflictions, her torments. We don’t get to hear her beg for her pathetic life.”
I hold back tears when Blake tears the tape off my lips violently. He stares like he expects me to say something. But I do what any sane person would do instead. I scream. I scream as loud as I can. They don’t flinch. Blake even starts laughing. My despair is pointless. No one’s going to hear me.
“Really? You have nothing to say to me? I remember you being a lot chattier the last time your life was in my hands.” He cackles.
“Why are you doing this?” I finally whisper. I’m shaking.
“Do you really have to ask?” Anger takes over him. He pulls me off the ground brutally, his face barely two inches away from mine. The air gets lodged in my lungs. “You ruined my life, that’s why. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get back into a fighter’s circle once you’ve been labeled a traitor? Especially when the side you betrayed ended up beating you? You made me a joke in the community. You took the only thing that I cared about away from me!” He spits in my face and pushes me back down to the rocky ground. “No circle means no fight. No fight means no money. I went from a high-up fighter to selling drugs to high school kids and stealing shitty cars to survive, for fuck’s sake!”
This is where he went. When he left town. He probably couldn’t afford his place anymore. I recall the story Haze told me about him back at the lake house. His mother is invalid because of a car wreck, and he doesn’t speak to his father. He doesn’t have his parents supporting him. He has nothing.
I stare into the emptiness ahead of me and contemplate my death. I look it right in the face. He’s waiting for me to cry, I can sense it. If this is how I’m going to go, I sure as heck am not going to give him that pleasure.
Blake refrains from saying more and goes to get what appears to be luggage from the van. But it’s not just any luggage. It’s mine. I recognize my floral suitcase. This is my stuff. I finished packing earlier today. They probably broke into the house while Maria was at work and grabbed it. He tosses my things on the ground.
It all clicks in my head.
They’re covering their tracks.
They’re probably going to shoot me, throw my body into the water, and get rid of my things. It’ll look like I didn’t want to leave my boyfriend, freaked out, packed my bags, and ran away. They’ve though this whole thing through. The police will close the investigation and quickly hop onto the next case.
They’ll never know that I was murdered.
“Who else are you working with?” I ask.
“No one. It’s just me and B, over here.” He turns to Bianca. “Oh, and the West side for like two seconds. They were very useful tonight. Got Haze away from you just when we needed it. They really hate him.”
This is what distracted Haze when we were dancing. I should’ve known he wouldn’t have left if it wasn’t important.
“You two? Really?” My eyes stray from Bianca to Blake.
“Not your everyday duo, I know, but I ran into her when I got back into town. She told me all about you and Haze living the dream in fairy-tale land, and I knew I had to do something about it. You see, I’m really getting sick of you two standing in the way of my happiness.” He carries on with his incessant blaming of the entire universe.
His annoying habit to call everyone but himself guilty makes me realize something. Haze has nothing do with Riley being pregnant and Blake’s mother losing her legs. It was Tanner all along, but Blake doesn’t know that. He’s got this all wrong.
“Enough chitchat. Time to die.” He makes his way to the van, opens and closes the driver’s-side door with a slam, and comes back. In his hands… is a gun. He carelessly loads it right in front of me.
“It wasn’t Haze!” I blurt out when Blake points the weapon at me. He frowns. I’ve got his attention. “He’s not the one who got Riley pregnant. It was Tanner.”
Pain colors his face for a second, but it vanishes when he shakes his head.
“You’re lying.” His voice is firm, cold.
“I’m not. She was sleeping with Tanner the whole time they were dating. Haze had nothing to do with what happened. If you don’t believe me, go ahead and ask her. She and her kid just moved into town to live with Tanner. They’re married.”
“What?” he blurts out.
This is working. I’m getting to him.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, believe me. We were just as shocked.” I feign compassion.
“No. This is bullshit. This… She’s not in town. She’d have come to see me. She…” he stutters.
“She was looking for you. But she couldn’t find you.” I feed him the lie he so desperately wants to hear. “See, you didn’t lose your family, Blake. You have a chance to make things right. A chance that you’ll lose if you pull that trigger right now. You know Kendrick and the guys will never stop trying to expose you if I go missing. You’ll end up in jail one way or another. Can’t you see? There is no scenario that involves killing me in which you end up winning.”
Hesitation spreads across his face.
“Don’t listen to her. She’s getting inside your head,” Bianca screams at him. “She ruined your life, remember? She’d say anything to save herself. Kill her!”
She obviously doesn’t want to do her own dirty work.
“Blake, this isn’t the way. Think about it. You can have the family you deserve if you just untie me. You can’t kill me.”
An army of anger and pain lead the war in his eyes. He’s conflicted. After a few unbearably long seconds, he puts the gun down. I let out a gigantic breath of relief, my heartbeat returning to my rib cage. But when something hits the back of his head and he collapses to the ground, I know the nightmare is far from over.
Bianca just knocked him out.
She drops the sharp and heavy rock she just used to silence her partner and looks at me.
“You’re right. He can’t kill you,” she says as she steps over Blake’s unconscious body and picks up the gun that escaped his hands. “Which is why I’m going to have to do it myself.”
Great.
“Bianca, please,” I say in a hurry. “We can talk about this.”
That’s when I see the motion.
Right behind her.
I see the shadow hiding behind the million-year-old barn.
It’s him.
The man I’ll love until my last moment, even if my last moments are soon.
Haze.
I can’t hold it back anymore. Warm tears come rushing down my cheeks. But they’re tears of joy. How did he find us? I can’t believe it. He’s here. Haze is here. Our eyes meet. He motions to remain quiet by pressing a finger to his lips.
“Now, I’m going to let you choose.” Bianca checks out her perfectly manicured fingers with her available hand. “You tell me how you did it and you get the bullet to the head, quick and easy. Or, you don’t, and we do this the long, painful way.”
“Tell you how I did what?” I sob, my lips trembling.
“Don’t play dumb with me. You know what. How did you get him to commit, huh? How did you turn the heartless player into a good man?” She carefully analyzes my face as though she really thinks she’ll find the answer somewhere in my features.
This girl is completely insane.
Haze and I exchange glances from afar. I gather from his body language that he’s been dying to intervene, but he’s waiting for her guard to be down. He doesn’t have a gun. She does. One wrong move and it’s curtains for both of us. He needs to be smart about this.
My hope dies when Bianca speaks again.
“It’s all right, Haze, you can come out now!”
No.
Shit, shit, shit.
How did she know?
With a look of defeat all over his face, Haze exposes himself.
“Please.” She chortles at his shock. “I knew it was you from the second we noticed someone following us.” She points the gun at him, and he has no choice but to put his hands up in surrender.
“Bianca, please, listen to me, you don’t want to do this,” he says.
“Shut the fuck up.” She makes it clear that she’s not asking. “Get over here.” Haze obeys, walking toward us. He’s still wearing his tux, the same way I’m still wearing my white dress—which is now brown due to the dirt on the ground. I can’t wrap my mind around how quickly our prom turned into a living hell. How fast the Cinderella dream became a nightmare.
“You’ve come to save your precious Winter, I suppose?” Bianca asks, anger and jealousy flowing out of her. “What does she have that I don’t, huh?” She begins to cry as her once perfect mascara covers her face. Her arm is shaking. I desperately pray that she won’t pull the trigger.
A part of me feels bad for her. The truth is, I don’t know why he chose me over her. Why do things happen the way they do? Why is life the way it is? She’s seeking answers that don’t exist.
“Is it because she’s skinnier than me?” She gasps for air. “Because I can lose weight. That’s not an issue.”
Wow, the girl needs help…
And she needs it fast.
“Bianca, put the gun down. Please.” Haze tries to take a step toward her.
“Not another step.” She shouts so loud he freezes in place.
“We both know you don’t want to shoot me,” Haze says.
I scowl at him. Damn it, Haze. This is exactly what not to say to her. Now is not the time to test how far she’s willing to go.
“I had Blake put a bomb into your car just to get rid of her. I knew there was a risk it’d kill you, too. You really think I won’t shoot?”
Comprehension hits Haze and me. It was her, working with Blake. They are the people Tanner said were after Haze. Blake was the one asking around the community. Seriously? That old “If I can’t have him, no one can”?
“Do you know how many times I cried for you? Every single night when you showed up to my house, used me, and then left without a goodbye when you were done.” She’s hyperventilating at this point. My heart aches at the way she talks about him. Haze really was an entirely different person back then.
I know he’d say that he told her what he wanted from the start, that he never lied to her or slept with her under false pretenses, but we both know he should’ve stopped this relationship the second she caught feelings. Haze said they were friends with benefits for six months. To an unstable girl like her, that’s a lifetime.
“But her…” she says through the sobs. “She’s got the kisses, the I love yous, the promises. You’re even considering moving to another fucking country for her.” She makes herself angrier with every word.
Realization flashes in her eyes.
“You. This is all your fault.” She jolts around abruptly and points the gun in my direction. Haze immediately steps in front of me, his hands still up in the air.
“Haze, don’t!” I cry.
“You’re right, Bianca. You’re right. I’m an asshole. It was me. Not her. Me .” A bunch of words tumble out of his mouth. I know he’d say just about anything to calm her down and get her attention off me.
Her sobs grow louder. “Why can’t you see that no one will ever love you like I do? I’m so much better than this skank. Deep down, you know that, don’t you? I’d do anything for you. Haze, I love you.”
He doesn’t reply, glancing at me from the corner of his eye. He seems to be ready to pounce, to take any bullet coming my way, and it terrifies me.
“But you don’t.” Her voice is quieter. “You don’t love me because of her.”
“Bianca, please,” he begs.
“Admit it!” she shouts.
Haze
“But I do,” I say and look her right in the eyes. “I love you, Bianca.”
“What?” she chokes, her sobs reducing in intensity as the fire decreases in her stare.
“I love you. I was just… lying to myself.” I take a step toward her, which she allows. That’s a good sign.
“What about her?”
“She’s nothing to me. She’s a distraction.” I keep stepping forward. I’m getting closer. I can take the gun away from her if I act fast. From there, all I have to do is knock her out.
No, Haze, you have to at least try and get her to give it up by herself. You know what could happen if you fail. You can’t risk it.
You can’t risk Winter.
“You love me?” she repeats again, disbelief spreading across her features as she starts crying hysterically like she can’t believe that her dream is coming true.
“Yes, I promise.”
Just one more step.
One more and I’ll knock her out.
I can do this.
“And you don’t love her?” She stares at Winter.
“No, I don’t. I never did. I love you.”
When I say the three magic lies, I anticipate a million things from her. I somehow convince myself that I can handle everything she’ll throw my way. But I was wrong. I wasn’t prepared for what was to come. I would never, not even in a hundred lifetimes , be prepared for what was to come…
“Great. Then you won’t mind if I do this.”
It barely lasts two seconds.
But it’s enough.
The gunshot echoes in the silence of the night and I fall apart, shouting at the top of my lungs.
“No!”
Two seconds.
One move.
That’s all it takes for my world to come crashing down.